《Albert Evacuated》歌词

歌曲： Albert Evacuated

所属专辑：Parlophone Comedy Classics

歌手： Stanley Holloway

时长： 03:42

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Albert Evacuated - Stanley Holloway[00:00:00]

Have you heard how young Albert Ramsbottom[00:00:00]

Was evacuated from home[00:00:02]

With his mother clean socks and a toothbrush[00:00:05]

Some syrup of figs and a comb[00:00:08]

The stick with the orses ead andle[00:00:10]

They decided that they'd leave behind[00:00:12]

To keep safe with the things they weren't wanting[00:00:15]

Like their gasmasks and thinks of that kind[00:00:18]

Pa saw them off at the station[00:00:21]

And shed a few crocodile tears[00:00:23]

As he waved them goodbye from the platform[00:00:27]

Twas the best break he'd had in ten years[00:00:30]

Ma got corner seat for young Albert[00:00:33]

Who amused all the rest of the team[00:00:36]

By breathing hot breaths on the window[00:00:38]

And writing some swear words in steam[00:00:41]

They arrived at last somewhere in England[00:00:45]

And straight to their billet were shown[00:00:49]

Ther was one room for mother[00:00:51]

But Albert was in a small room of his own[00:00:53]

The very first night in the blackout[00:00:57]

Young Albert performed quite a feat[00:01:00]

By hanging head first from the window[00:01:02]

And shining his torch down the street[00:01:05]

It flashed on an ARP warden[00:01:08]

Patrolling with leisurely gait[00:01:12]

Good Heavens he said it's Tarzan[00:01:15]

I'd better go investigate[00:01:19]

So reading his book of instructions[00:01:22]

To make himself doubly sure[00:01:25]

Then in an official manner[00:01:28]

Proceeded to knock on the door[00:01:30]

It was opened by Mrs Ramsbottom[00:01:33]

Now then said she what's to do[00:01:37]

And in stern air warden manner he said[00:01:40]

I'm going to interrogate you[00:01:44]

This fair upset Mrs Ramsbottom[00:01:47]

Her face was a picture to see[00:01:50]

I'll have you know you'll do nowt of the sort[00:01:52]

I'm a respectable woman said she[00:01:55]

Has your son been evacuated[00:01:57]

Said the ARP man at the door[00:02:01]

He'd all them things done as a baby said mother[00:02:03]

He's not being done anymore[00:02:06]

Be off now said Mrs Ramsbottom[00:02:08]

As she bustled him out of the porch[00:02:11]

And the ARP man patted Albert[00:02:13]

And then confiscated his torch[00:02:16]

Now that were unlucky for Albert[00:02:19]

He had no torch to see him to bed[00:02:21]

But being a bright little fellow[00:02:24]

He switched on the hal light instead[00:02:26]

Put out that light a voice shouted[00:02:30]

Where's the men of our ARP[00:02:33]

I've told them already the warden replied[00:02:36]

They take no bloody notice of me[00:02:39]

Soon Mrs Ramsbottom and Albert[00:02:42]

Were feeling quite homesick and sad[00:02:45]

So they thanked the landlady most kindly[00:02:48]

And prepared to go back home to Dad[00:02:51]

When at last they reached home to Father[00:02:54]

They were fed up and had quite enough[00:02:57]

But in the front parlour they found six young women[00:03:00]

And Father were doing his stuff[00:03:04]

Hello Mother said Mr Ramsbottom[00:03:08]

Come right on in don't be afraid[00:03:11]

When you went away I joined Ambulance Corps[00:03:14]

I'm instructing the girls in first aid[00:03:18]

First aid said Mrs Ramsbottom[00:03:22]

With a horrible look on her brow[00:03:25]

If ever you wanted first aid in your life[00:03:28]

By gum you'll be wanting it now[00:03:32]