所属专辑:The Very Best Of Jake Thackray
歌手: Jake Thackray
时长: 04:35
The Ballad Of Billy Kershaw - Jake Thackray[00:00:00]
He was small and baggy-trousered[00:00:06]
He was nondescript and shy[00:00:08]
But in his breast there burned a sacred flame[00:00:10]
For women melted and surrendered[00:00:13]
When they looked into his eyes[00:00:14]
Little Billy Kershaw was the name by the way[00:00:17]
He worked as a country ploughman so they say[00:00:20]
Oh Lothario and Casanova mighty Don Juan[00:00:22]
Those legendary goats of days of yore[00:00:26]
Billy was better with his eyes closed[00:00:29]
On one leg and with no hands[00:00:31]
A trick which he could actually perform[00:00:33]
By the way[00:00:35]
Spectacular but dodgy so they say[00:00:36]
He never did it for the profit of it[00:00:39]
Never for applause[00:00:41]
Only the silvery laughter that it caused[00:00:42]
There was a difference in that Billy[00:00:52]
Kershaw never picked the best[00:00:53]
The beautiful the golden ones[00:00:55]
That most men would[00:00:57]
But the ugly ones the poorest[00:00:58]
The despised the dispossessed[00:01:00]
Where else would a hunchback[00:01:02]
Get a cuddle by the way[00:01:03]
Harelips can kiss or so they say[00:01:05]
And so the shop-girl with the whiskers[00:01:08]
Or the limping shepherdess[00:01:10]
The squinting barmaid her with the pocky skin[00:01:12]
Even the horse-like countess with[00:01:15]
The teeth and meagre breasts[00:01:16]
Which in fact had often harboured[00:01:18]
Billy's chin by the way[00:01:19]
Haughty but snug so they say[00:01:21]
He never did it for the profit of it[00:01:24]
Never for applause[00:01:26]
Only the common comfort that it caused[00:01:28]
Many a poor distracted Catholic[00:01:38]
Rating Billy over Lourdes[00:01:39]
Came smiling down his staircase[00:01:41]
All her frenzy gone[00:01:42]
And the husband far from angry[00:01:44]
Would be chuffed that she was cured[00:01:46]
And buy him a pint in the local later on[00:01:47]
By the way[00:01:50]
Horses for courses as they say[00:01:51]
He responded to the colonel's[00:01:54]
Widow's desperate appeal[00:01:55]
In the Colonel's house upon the Colonel's tiger skin[00:01:57]
And in the potter's shop the potter's[00:02:00]
Wife upon the potter's wheel[00:02:02]
Which was steadily continuing to spin[00:02:03]
By the way[00:02:06]
A right tour de force so they say[00:02:07]
But never ever for the profit of it[00:02:10]
Never the applause[00:02:12]
Only the passing happiness it caused[00:02:13]
But soon the news of Billy Kershaw and[00:02:23]
His life-enhancing powers[00:02:24]
Became across the county widely known[00:02:26]
And by his cottage gate the coachloads[00:02:29]
Waited patiently for hours[00:02:31]
The drivers made a bundle going home[00:02:33]
By the way[00:02:35]
Their caps were full of silver so they say[00:02:36]
And the village did a roaring trade in[00:02:39]
Teas and souvenirs[00:02:41]
In ash trays and the local watercress[00:02:42]
Until Billy disillusioned simply ups[00:02:45]
And disappears[00:02:48]
Leaving no forwarding address by the way[00:02:49]
Could be anywhere at all or so they say[00:02:52]
But it was not for the profit of it[00:02:55]
Not for the applause[00:02:57]
Only the consolation that it caused[00:02:58]
If there should be a sad neglected[00:03:08]
Wretched woman in your life[00:03:10]
It could well be that Billy's near at hand[00:03:11]
Perhaps your auntie or your daughter[00:03:14]
Or your mother or your wife[00:03:16]
And when did you last see your grandma[00:03:18]
By the way[00:03:20]
No genuine case is ever turned away[00:03:21]
He's no rascal he's no charlatan[00:03:24]
No mountebank no snob[00:03:26]
Whoever you are he'll treat you just the same[00:03:28]
He is small and baggy-trousered[00:03:31]
And he does a tidy job[00:03:32]
Little Billy Kershaw is the name by the way[00:03:34]
He worked as a country ploughman so they say[00:03:37]
But never ever for the profit of it[00:03:40]
Never the applause[00:03:42]
Only the common comfort that it caused[00:03:44]
If you find that Billy's ballad is extravagant or trite[00:03:53]
Offensive irrelevant or untrue[00:03:57]
That may well be but here's a moral[00:04:00]
Which will make us feel all right[00:04:01]
A moral which may well apply to you[00:04:03]
By the way[00:04:05]
Takes one to know one as they say[00:04:07]
If you're ugly if you're weak or meek[00:04:09]
Or queer form a queue[00:04:11]
And the rest of us will travel from afar[00:04:13]
And systematically we'll do to you[00:04:16]
What Billy used to do[00:04:17]
But more regular and always twice[00:04:19]
As hard by the way[00:04:21]
Mea culpa mea culpa[00:04:22]
As they used to say[00:04:24]