所属专辑:The Classic Monologues (Digitally Remastered)
歌手: Stanley Holloway
时长: 04:12
Three Ha'pence A Foot - Stanley Holloway[00:00:00]
I'll tell you an old fashioned story[00:00:05]
That Grandfather used to relate[00:00:07]
Of a joiner and building contractor[00:00:09]
Is name it were Sam Oglethwaite[00:00:12]
In a shop on the banks of the Irwell[00:00:14]
Old Sam used to follow is trade[00:00:17]
In a place you'll have eard of called Bury[00:00:19]
You know where black puddings is made[00:00:22]
One day Sam were filling a knot ole[00:00:26]
Wi putty when in thro the door[00:00:28]
Came an old feller fair wreathed wi whiskers[00:00:31]
Tould chap said good morning I'm Noah[00:00:34]
Sam asked Noah what was is business[00:00:37]
And tould chap went on to remark[00:00:40]
That not liking the look of the weather[00:00:43]
E were thinking of building an Ark[00:00:45]
E d gotten the wood for the bulwarks[00:00:47]
And all tother shipbuilding junk[00:00:51]
And wanted some nice Bird's Eye Maple[00:00:53]
To panel the side of is bunk[00:00:56]
Now Maple were Sam's Monopoly[00:00:58]
That means it were all is to cut[00:01:01]
And nobody else adn't got none[00:01:04]
So e asked Noah three ha'pence a foot[00:01:06]
A ha'penny too much replied Noah[00:01:10]
A Penny a foot's more the mark[00:01:13]
A penny a foot and when t'rain comes[00:01:15]
I'll give you a ride in me Ark[00:01:18]
But neither would budge in the bargain[00:01:20]
The whole daft thing were kind of a jam[00:01:23]
So Sam put is tongue out at Noah[00:01:26]
And Noah made Long Bacon* at Sam[00:01:28]
In wrath and ill feeling they parted[00:01:32]
Not knowing when they'd meet again[00:01:35]
And Sam had forgot all about it[00:01:37]
Til one day it started to rain[00:01:40]
It rained and it rained for a fortni't[00:01:43]
And flooded the ole countryside[00:01:47]
It rained and it kept on raining[00:01:50]
Til the Irwell were fifty mile wide[00:01:53]
The couses were soon under water[00:01:56]
And folks to the roof ad to climb[00:01:59]
They said twas the rottenest summer[00:02:02]
That Bury ad ad for some time[00:02:05]
The rain showed no sign of abating[00:02:07]
And water rose hour by hour[00:02:10]
Til the only dry land were at Blackpool[00:02:12]
And that were on top of the Tower[00:02:15]
So Sam started swimming to Blackpool[00:02:18]
It took 'im best part of a week[00:02:21]
Is clothes were wet through when'e got there[00:02:23]
And s boots were beginning to leak[00:02:26]
E stood to is watch chain in water[00:02:28]
On Tower top just before dark[00:02:31]
When who should come sailing towards i'm[00:02:34]
But old Noah steering is Ark[00:02:37]
They stared at each other in silence[00:02:39]
Til Ark were alongside all but[00:02:43]
Then Noah said What price yer Maple[00:02:45]
Sam answered Three ha'pence a foot[00:02:48]
Noah said Nay I'll make thee an offer[00:02:51]
The same as I did t'other day[00:02:54]
A penny a foot and a free ride[00:02:57]
Now come on lad what does tha say[00:03:00]
Three hapence a foot came the answer[00:03:03]
So Noah is sail ad to hoist[00:03:07]
And sailed off again in a dudgeon[00:03:09]
While Sam stood determined but moist[00:03:11]
Noah cruised around flying is pigeons[00:03:15]
Til fortieth day of the wet[00:03:19]
And on is way back passing Blackpool[00:03:21]
E saw old Sam standing there yet[00:03:24]
Is chin just stuck out of the water[00:03:27]
A comical figure e cut[00:03:31]
Noah said Now what's the price of yer Maple[00:03:33]
Sam answered Three ha'pence a foot[00:03:37]
Said Noah Yed best take my offer[00:03:41]
It's last time I'll be hereabout[00:03:44]
And if water comes half an inch higher[00:03:47]
I'll happen get Maple for nowt[00:03:50]
Three hapence a foot it'll cost yer[00:03:53]
And as fer me Sam said don't fret[00:03:56]
The sky's took a turn since this morning[00:03:59]
I think it'll brighten up yet[00:04:03]