《Uncle Harry》歌词

歌曲： Uncle Harry

所属专辑：Mad Dogs and Englishmen - Noel Coward Live in las Vegas

歌手： Noel Coward

时长： 03:50

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Uncle Harry - Noel Coward[00:00:00]

Written by：Trad Coward[00:00:01]

My family has traditions[00:00:06]

I've heard them a thousand times[00:00:08]

My relatives were not excessively bright[00:00:09]

They love to go off on missions[00:00:13]

To rather peculiar climes[00:00:15]

And lead the wretched heathens to the light[00:00:16]

A few of them got beaten up[00:00:20]

In course of these rampages[00:00:21]

My dear Aunt Maud got eaten up[00:00:23]

While singing Rock of Ages[00:00:25]

These family expeditions[00:00:27]

Admittedly are a bore[00:00:28]

But there is just one uncle[00:00:30]

That I positively adore[00:00:33]

Poor Uncle Harry[00:00:38]

Wanted to be a missionary[00:00:40]

So he took a ship and sailed away[00:00:42]

This visionary[00:00:45]

Hotly pursued by dear Aunt Mary[00:00:46]

Found a south sea isle on which to stay[00:00:48]

The natives greeted them kindly and invited them to dine[00:00:52]

On yams and clams and human hams and vintage coconut wine[00:00:55]

The taste of which was filthy but the after effects divine[00:00:59]

Poor Uncle Harry[00:01:02]

Got a bit gay and longed to tarry[00:01:04]

This Aunt Mary couldn't quite allow[00:01:06]

She lectured him severely on a number of church affairs[00:01:09]

But when she'd gone to bed he made a getaway down the stairs[00:01:12]

For he longed to find the answer to a few of the maiden's prayers[00:01:16]

Uncle Harry's not a missionary now[00:01:19]

Poor Uncle Harry[00:01:23]

After a chat with dear Aunt Mary[00:01:24]

Thought the time had come to make a row[00:01:26]

He lined up all the older girls in one of the local sheds[00:01:30]

And while he was reviling them and tearing himself to shreds[00:01:33]

They took their Mother Hubbards off and tied them around their heads[00:01:36]

Uncle Harry's not a missionary now[00:01:40]

He's awfully happy[00:01:43]

But he's certainly not a missionary now[00:01:44]

Now uncle was just a seeker[00:01:54]

A dreamer sincerely blest[00:01:56]

Of this there couldn't be a shadow of doubt[00:01:57]

The fact that his flesh was weaker[00:02:01]

Than even Aunt Mary guessed[00:02:03]

Took even her some time to figure out[00:02:04]

In all those languid latitudes[00:02:08]

The atmosphere's exotic[00:02:09]

To take up moral attitudes[00:02:11]

Would be too idiotic[00:02:13]

Though nobody could be meeker[00:02:15]

Than uncle had been before[00:02:16]

I bet today he's giving way[00:02:18]

At practically every pore[00:02:20]

Poor Uncle Harry[00:02:25]

Having become a missionary[00:02:27]

Found the natives' morals rather crude[00:02:28]

He and Aunt Mary[00:02:32]

Quickly imposed an arbitrary[00:02:34]

Ban upon them shopping in the nude[00:02:36]

They all considered this silly and they didn't take it well[00:02:39]

They burned his boots and several suits and wrecked the mission hotel[00:02:42]

They also burnt his mackintosh which made a disgusting smell[00:02:46]

Poor Uncle Harry[00:02:50]

After some words with dear Aunt Mary[00:02:51]

Called upon the chiefs for a pow wow[00:02:53]

They didn't brandish knives at him they really were awfully sweet[00:02:56]

They made concerted dives at him and offered him things to eat[00:03:00]

But when they threw their wives at him he had to admit defeat[00:03:03]

Uncle Harry's not a missionary now[00:03:07]

Poor dear Aunt Mary[00:03:10]

Though it were revolutionary[00:03:12]

Thought her time had come to take a bow[00:03:13]

Poor Uncle Harry looked at her in who he had placed his trust[00:03:17]

His very last illusion broke and crumbled away to dust[00:03:21]

For she'd placed a flower behind her ear and frankly exposed her bust[00:03:25]

Uncle Harry's not a missionary now[00:03:31]

He's left the island[00:03:34]

But he's certainly not a missionary now[00:03:35]