所属专辑:The Best of Kate Miller-Heidke: Act One (Explicit)
时长: 04:05
Australian Idol - Kate Miller-Heidke[00:00:00]
Written by:Kate Miller-Heidke[00:00:01]
I was having a bad week[00:00:08]
I crashed the car and the cat carked it[00:00:10]
Weighed myself outside woolies and I'd put on 4 kilos[00:00:12]
Arranged to meet an old friend for coffee[00:00:16]
I poured my heart out told her all about[00:00:18]
Poor dead fluffy and the bloody car[00:00:20]
And did she think I should go on a diet[00:00:21]
She studied my face trying to frame the words to say[00:00:24]
Just the right blend of sympathy and advice[00:00:31]
She took a big breath[00:00:36]
Looked into my eyes and she said[00:00:38]
You should go on Australian Idol[00:00:40]
Even if you don't win you'll have a great time[00:00:44]
Don't worry that you don't look like a supermodel[00:00:48]
They're even letting fatties on there now so you should be fine[00:00:52]
I said thanks I feel a lot better now[00:01:04]
Then I erased her number from my phone[00:01:06]
I didn't know how much we'd grown apart[00:01:09]
The very next day was my birthday[00:01:12]
No one called except my grandma[00:01:14]
She was drunk she just needed a lift home from the pub[00:01:16]
Then that Sunday night I went to dinner with my rellies[00:01:20]
They said happy birthday do you mind if we put the TV on[00:01:28]
It's nearly the final of Australian Idol and[00:01:34]
You should go on Australian Idol[00:01:36]
You're much prettier than her she looks like a pudding[00:01:40]
You'll win it no worries love' said my uncle[00:01:44]
And I just turned and looked at him like he was something[00:01:48]
That I stood in[00:01:51]
And don't get me wrong[00:01:55]
If I turn on the TV and it's on[00:01:57]
I can't stop watching even with the ads[00:02:01]
Even with those two dickheads blabbing on between songs[00:02:05]
I love to see their spirits crushed their egos shattered[00:02:09]
I love the ones that really suck in the first auditions[00:02:15]
I love to watch them sob their dreams in tatters[00:02:19]
And I laugh while I eat my dinner[00:02:23]
They're crying in their 5 star hotel[00:02:27]
And I'm cackling on my cack brown couch[00:02:30]
And it's not that I am jealous[00:02:37]
I'm not jealous I'm not jealous[00:02:40]
The next Sunday I had a pretty bad hangover[00:02:48]
Feeling pretty grumpy[00:02:50]
Sitting on the couch eating pringles feeling sorry for myself[00:02:52]
I flipped to channel 10 and before I knew it[00:02:56]
I was watching a really short guy[00:02:58]
Singing that really annoying song by Craig David[00:03:00]
Suddenly I rose to my feet it must have been divine intervention[00:03:05]
I saw the light in front of me and I screamed[00:03:13]
Why am I watching Australian Idol God[00:03:21]
Am I really reduced to this pitiful state Jesus[00:03:25]
May as well just head down to my local karaoke bar[00:03:29]
Or better still just change to SBS[00:03:33]
You better believe it I changed to ABC[00:03:36]
So Marcia Dicko whatever your name is[00:03:40]
Shove it up your ass[00:03:46]