[00:00:00] Quiz Show - Clifford T. Ward
[00:00:13] I know you love the quiz shows
[00:00:19] I know you love the quiz shows
[00:00:25] I know you love the quiz shows
[00:00:30] I know you love the quiz shows.
[00:00:45] And our final contestant tonight comes from
[00:00:47] Where was it again you said you come from?
[00:00:49] An well, it doesn't mater
[00:00:51] Let's make him welcome shall we folks?
[00:00:57] Right, here we go
[00:00:59] A number of questions
[00:01:00] You provide the correct answers in the allotted time
[00:01:03] And you win a lovely prize.
[00:01:05] Are you ready?
[00:01:06] Yep.
[00:01:09] Who is the Prime Minister of England?
[00:01:11] Ah, it's a woman. I know it's a woman.
[00:01:14] I think it's a woman.
[00:01:16] Who replaced Terry Wogan on the radio?
[00:01:19] Ah, that's a suave, slick Scotchman.
[00:01:21] I wouldn't leave him alone with my missus,
[00:01:23] I know that.
[00:01:25] In a sentence, what is the basis for modern
[00:01:26] Thinking in society?
[00:01:29] Star Trek is it?
[00:01:30] Oh I love the black doll in that show.
[00:01:33] What does anaphobic mean?
[00:01:35] Oh now, that's lucky: I learnt that this morning:
[00:01:38] It's a hatred of er foreign women isn't it?
[00:01:40] Ooh, I can't understand that
[00:01:42] I love women wherever they come from
[00:01:44] They're all nice aren't they?
[00:01:46] Who wears a blue uniform and is always
[00:01:48] There if you need help?
[00:01:49] Mother Theresa?
[00:01:51] What is a surrogate mother?
[00:01:53] Ooh, that's my missus.
[00:01:55] She ain't got two ha'pennies to rub
[00:01:56] Together come Wednesday.
[00:01:58] What is the role of the quiz show?
[00:02:00] Cheese was it? No, no, I tell a lie.
[00:02:03] It was ham in mine.
[00:02:04] I can only accept your first answer sorry.
[00:02:06] Who is the Queen of England?
[00:02:08] Oh, it's a woman. I know it's a woman.
[00:02:11] I think it's a woman.
[00:02:12] Who is the leader of the opposition?
[00:02:14] Oh that's a woman for sure, it's my missus.
[00:02:17] What's the meaning of the word 'horrendous'?
[00:02:20] A bad woman is it?
[00:02:21] What's the capital of Italy?
[00:02:23] Oh I know that, it's -er- Nipples
[00:02:25] I I mean Naples.
[00:02:27] Name the four counties in the United Kingdom.
[00:02:30] This is easy England,
[00:02:32] Scotland, Wales and London.
[00:02:34] In a sentence,
[00:02:35] What do you know about the SDP Liberal Alliance?
[00:02:38] Oh, is that the one my missus goes to where
[00:02:40] They do flower arranging
[00:02:41] And -er- make wicker baskets and things?
[00:02:44] Oh, there's some nice women there.
[00:02:46] Who is Shirley Williams?
[00:02:47] Oh, she goes there does she?
[00:02:49] Oh yes, she's good at the flower arranging,
[00:02:51] So my missus tells me.
[00:02:53] Who had a hit record with the song
[00:02:55] 'Wuthering Heights'?
[00:02:56] Val Doonican is it? No, no,
[00:02:58] I know it's a woman though.
[00:03:00] Who or what is Dow Jones?
[00:03:03] A womaniser is he?
[00:03:05] What does Danny La Rue do?
[00:03:07] Oh, she dresses up as a man is that right?
[00:03:10] Well, you've done very well.
[00:03:11] Wendy, bring on the prizes.
[00:03:14] Now which would you like to take home with you
[00:03:16] The computer, the TV,
[00:03:18] The video or the holiday for two in Majorca?
[00:03:22] Ooh, I'll have Wendy can I?
[00:03:24] I've seen 'em do that on the Tele you know,
[00:03:27] The girl brings on the prizes,
[00:03:28] And they say "I don't like the prizes,
[00:03:31] I'd rather have the girl".
[00:03:32] Alright, you've won Wendy,
[00:03:34] Off you go the pair of you.
[00:03:35] Thank you for being a marvellous contestant.
[00:03:37] Let's hear it for 'em, shall we?
[00:03:39] Put you hands together
[00:03:41] And give them a big round warm of women
[00:03:43] I mean applause.
[00:03:51] I love the quiz shows, I love the quiz shows
[00:03:54] Don't you love the quiz shows?
[00:03:56] I know you love the quiz shows
[00:03:59] The BBC knows you love the quiz shows
[00:04:02] And all the independents know you love the quiz shows
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