[00:00:00] These Are The Tales - Too $hort [00:00:00] Written by:Stuart Jordan/Todd Anthony Shaw/Xavier E. Hargrove [00:00:01] These are the tales [00:00:03] These are the tales [00:00:04] Tune in to the history channel [00:00:06] These are the tales learn a lesson b**ch [00:00:09] These are the tales that I tell so well short dog [00:00:12] I'm thinking way back it's been a long long time [00:00:15] In 1980 I wrote my first rhyme [00:00:18] I like to spit a lot of game [00:00:20] But back then I was just saying my name [00:00:23] I had a record player on my stereo [00:00:26] Got down on my knees with my radio [00:00:29] From Oakland California with some new sh*t [00:00:32] I'm sir too short I'm bout to do this [00:00:35] In 1981 that's where it all begun [00:00:38] We do it for the money we don't rap for fun [00:00:41] Five dollar's for a tape too short and Freddy be [00:00:44] Money in my pocket's all I ever need [00:00:47] It was me Fred B and Freddy B rack [00:00:50] Dipped the sermon sticks then we smoked them phat [00:00:52] While we rapped about the b**ches and all the ho's [00:00:56] Can't be in the hole trying to ball without vogues [00:00:59] In '82 you was in the game [00:01:01] With a falcon cougar or a mustang [00:01:04] Me and Freddy B used to hit the turfs [00:01:07] With a bag of tapes putting in work b**ch [00:01:10] In '83 you hit a house party [00:01:13] A dollar get you in and a dollar for a drink [00:01:16] I'm on the turntable smoking get right [00:01:19] And at mid night I'll be rapping on the mic [00:01:22] I did the same thing for the next two years [00:01:25] That's why they say my name when I come through here [00:01:27] When I was 16 I wanted to be a Mack [00:01:30] I went to Fremont high with lil' D and black [00:01:33] Young ballets in the town living real phat [00:01:36] Never had the sack but I smoked a little crack [00:01:39] Crushed up in the w**d we call em bass rock caddies [00:01:42] Going on them grimaces make them ho's call me daddy [00:01:45] These are the tales these are the tales that I tell so well [00:01:51] These are the tales these are the tales that I tell so well [00:01:57] It's been 15 years since that sh*t happened [00:02:00] But too short don't stop rapping [00:02:02] In '85 I was on the right page [00:02:06] Ten thousand niggards short live on stage [00:02:09] Underground tapes was all they ever heard [00:02:11] But the whole crowd sang along with me word for word [00:02:15] And that changed everything [00:02:17] Went to seventy five girls and hooked up with dean [00:02:21] Real player ism and that's no joke [00:02:23] Snort a lot of coke with ho's that like to smoke [00:02:26] I was making records but wasn't making money [00:02:29] You can take it seriously or you can think its funny [00:02:32] By '87 I was on my own started dangerous music [00:02:36] And I made the song these are the tales the freaky tales [00:02:41] No radio or video or CD sales [00:02:44] Six platinum's in a row ice cube and cool J [00:02:47] Who else did that sh*t short dog from the bay [00:02:50] These ho's try to play it safe [00:02:53] But I been macing hard since eighty eight [00:02:55] And from eighty nine to ninety six [00:02:58] I was rapping on the mic talking sh*t about a b**ch [00:03:01] I'll retire 10 times and I'll still be here [00:03:04] My old records sell about a half a mil' a year [00:03:07] I say b**ch get naked so pimpishly [00:03:10] Spit rhymes through decades and centuries [00:03:13] And b**ches just love my dirty mouth [00:03:16] When I see you again I'm cuss you out b**ch [00:03:21] That's my gift now all you rappers get to say that sh*t [00:03:25] I won't sue you but that's the trademark [00:03:27] I was a grown ass man when you was playing in the park lil' niggle [00:03:31] These are the tales these are the tales that I tell so well [00:03:36] These are the tales these are the tales that I tell so well [00:03:42] Now I'm in Atlanta I still love the O [00:03:45] I gave you my b**ch but you can't have my flow [00:03:49] I guest appeared on 47 albums [00:03:51] F**k McDonald's and f**k Calvin