[00:00:00] The Cultural Ambassador (Live) - Laurie Anderson
[00:00:00] Anyway I was in israel as a kind
[00:00:03] Of cultural ambassador
[00:00:06] And there were lots of press
[00:00:07] Conferences scheduled
[00:00:09] Around the performances
[00:00:10] The journalists usually started things off
[00:00:13] By asking about the avantgarde
[00:00:16] So what's so good about new they'd ask
[00:00:20] Well new is interesting
[00:00:25] And what they would say is so
[00:00:27] Good about interesting
[00:00:29] Well interesting is you know it's interesting
[00:00:34] It's like being awake you know
[00:00:37] I'm treading water now
[00:00:38] And what is so good about
[00:00:39] Being awake they'd say
[00:00:41] Finally I got the hang of this
[00:00:43] Never answer a question
[00:00:45] In israel always answer by asking
[00:00:47] Another question
[00:00:49] But the Israelis were vey curious
[00:00:51] About the gulf war
[00:00:52] And what americans had thought
[00:00:53] About it and I tried
[00:00:55] To think of a good question to
[00:00:56] Ask and answer to
[00:00:57] This but what was really on
[00:00:58] My mind was that the
[00:01:00] Week before I had myself
[00:01:02] Been testing explosives
[00:01:04] In a parking lot in tel aviv
[00:01:08] Now this happened
[00:01:09] Because I had brought some
[00:01:10] Small stage bombs
[00:01:11] To Israel as props for this
[00:01:14] Performance and the
[00:01:15] Israeli promoter was very interested in them
[00:01:19] And it turned out that he was on weekend duty
[00:01:21] On one of the bomb squads and bombs were
[00:01:24] Also something of a hobby during the week
[00:01:27] So I said
[00:01:28] Look you know these bombs are
[00:01:30] Nothing special just just a little smoke
[00:01:32] And he said well we can get much
[00:01:35] Better things for you
[00:01:37] And I said
[00:01:37] No really these are fine and he said
[00:01:39] No but it should be big theatrical
[00:01:42] It should make an impression I mean
[00:01:44] You really just the right bomb
[00:01:46] And so one morning he arranged to have
[00:01:48] About fifty small bombs delivered to a parking lot
[00:01:52] And since he looked on it as a sort of
[00:01:54] Special surprise
[00:01:55] Favor I couldn't really refuse so
[00:01:59] We are on this parking
[00:02:00] Lot testing the bombs and after
[00:02:02] The first few explosions
[00:02:04] I found I was really getting pretty interested
[00:02:09] They all had very different characteristics
[00:02:12] Some had fiery orange tails and
[00:02:14] Made these low paah
[00:02:15] Paah paah popping sound others
[00:02:17] Exploded mid air
[00:02:19] And left long smoky slinky trails
[00:02:22] And he had several
[00:02:23] Of each kind in case I needed to
[00:02:26] Review them all at the end
[00:02:27] And I'm thinking
[00:02:29] Here I am a citizen of the world's largest arms
[00:02:34] Supplier setting off bombs with the world's second
[00:02:37] Largest arms customer and I'm having a great time
[00:02:45] So even though the diplomatic part of the trip
[00:02:47] Wasn't going so well at least
[00:02:49] I was getting some instruction in terrorism
[00:02:53] And it reminded me of something in a book by
[00:02:55] Don deLillo about how terrorists
[00:02:58] Are the only true artists
[00:02:59] Left because they're the only ones who are still
[00:03:02] Capable of really surprising people
[00:03:06] And the other thing it reminded me of were all the
[00:03:09] Attempts during the gulf war to outwit
[00:03:11] The terrorists and I especially
[00:03:13] Remember an interesting
[00:03:14] Liist of tips devised by the us embassy in madrid
[00:03:20] And these tips were designed for americans
[00:03:23] Who found themselves in wartime airports
[00:03:26] The idea was not to call ourselves to the
[00:03:28] Attention of the numerous foreign terrorists
[00:03:31] Who were presumably lurking all over the terminal
[00:03:34] So the embassy tips were a list of mostly don'ts
[00:03:40] Things like don't wear a baseball cap
[00:03:44] Don't wear a sweat shirt with the name of
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