[00:00:00] 本字幕由天琴实验室独家AI技术生成
[00:00:05] 啊啊啊
[00:00:15] 1000还有老师
[00:00:17] 还有蜘蛛啊师叔师叔
[00:00:25] 哎
[00:00:26] 刘源他们三个
[00:00:27] 您讲了一段很辛苦
[00:00:29] 下面这浓重的跟大伙介绍一下邓老师啊
[00:00:36] 他叫史爱峰
[00:00:38] 陈老师是一个不错的演员
[00:00:41] 那个门派啊挣钱
[00:00:50] 而他不一样
[00:00:52] 我不值钱
[00:00:53] 家里有钱哦
[00:00:54] 他家里有钱
[00:00:56] 他是个二货啊啊
[00:01:02] 哦
[00:01:02] 他父亲唱腔欣赏都没听说过啊
[00:01:24] 啊
[00:01:26] 没得说
[00:01:27] 相声不是为了挣钱啊
[00:01:29] 为了玩
[00:01:32] 但是每个月发工资
[00:01:34] 拿着
[00:01:35] 然后给就拿着呗
[00:01:36] 是不是啊
[00:01:37] 我问您呢
[00:01:38] 您这一个月啊
[00:01:41] 能挣多少钱
[00:01:42] 不多不少
[00:01:43] 3000块
[00:01:46] 姑姑你的眼睛别瞪了
[00:01:47] 瞪出来也是余额呢
[00:01:53] 3000块钱
[00:02:02] 错了
[00:02:03] 相当不错
[00:02:04] 相当不错
[00:02:05] 您一个月就是3000来块钱
[00:02:07] 那您这个月不得两千八九
[00:02:11] 我这一月白干了啊啊
[00:02:15] 我凭什么给你两千八九的
[00:02:17] 你不清楚吗
[00:02:18] 什么事儿吗
[00:02:26] 有事儿先说啊
[00:02:35] 189
[00:02:37] 这是你们家
[00:02:37] 你小心
[00:02:40] 180 你们家到底几口啊
[00:02:46] 你可70 人
[00:02:49] 现在哪有亲手自家哦
[00:02:52] 念经一手啊
[00:02:59] 行了
[00:03:00] 你也别说了啊
[00:03:02] 哎呀哎呀
[00:03:03] 还声情并茂地磅呢
[00:03:16] 您家几口人我最了解
[00:03:19] 你怎么不了解呢
[00:03:20] 咱俩是朋友啊
[00:03:21] 常去你们家
[00:03:22] 你们家和我们家一样
[00:03:24] 全是口人
[00:03:26] 不能干六七口啊
[00:03:31] 1277 啊
[00:03:35] 反正是六口六口七口六口
[00:03:40] 滚蛋
[00:03:40] 有病啊
[00:03:42] 这人较劲
[00:03:43] 你要非得说基础
[00:03:45] 咱们今天当着各位的面告诉你们家到底有几口人
[00:03:49] 按照您的意思来说啊
[00:03:51] 咱们不说相声了
[00:03:52] 别说没法儿
[00:03:54] 给大伙人头CE
[00:03:56] 给大家到什么时候
[00:03:58] 现在
[00:03:59] 现在在这儿
[00:04:01] 在这儿
[00:04:03] 啊
[00:04:08] 我说你们家那几口人啊
[00:04:10] 用不着电脑
[00:04:11] 全在我手里头攥着
[00:04:14] 对
[00:04:15] 拿手就能赚
[00:04:16] 拿手就能赚
[00:04:18] 那可不
[00:04:19] 你们家那几口人这一手就能撸过来
[00:04:22] 你高科技呀
[00:04:24] 这有什么高科技
[00:04:25] 当您常万全的五五啊祥指出为例啊
[00:04:30] 明明指出了为期准能出来滚出来滚出来滚出来
[00:04:35] 七可骂我也不能帮咱们就开始做了
[00:04:40] 现在开始算啊
[00:04:42] 怎么着
[00:04:43] 咱们算不算啊
[00:04:44] 张鹏
[00:04:45] 还算
[00:04:46] 那怎么拿紫皮儿蒜白蒜砸点儿什么呢
[00:04:53] A
[00:04:53] 您给我点儿钱
[00:04:56] 补点钱
[00:04:56] 嗯
[00:04:57] 已经听说了
[00:05:04] 你家老婆照相机吗
[00:05:07] 照相机你拿出来之后啊
[00:05:10] 500万太多了太多了
[00:05:12] 少点少点
[00:05:13] 哎
[00:05:16] 你看天上一脚地一脚的
[00:05:20] 那也得500万啊
[00:05:23] 咱们十块钱十块钱
[00:05:25] 哎哎
[00:05:29] 我都纳闷怎么啊啊啊啊没事儿没事儿
[00:05:41] 我告诉你新发地买的俩人呢
[00:05:46] 没听说过的
[00:05:47] 就是十块钱十块钱
[00:05:48] 哎行
[00:05:50] 那我现在开始您看哈
[00:05:53] 投你吧
[00:05:57] 嗯啊十块钱十块钱啊
[00:06:01] 我让这个人
[00:06:04] 哎呀
[00:06:05] 美元我也没法儿给您找人民币
[00:06:07] 人民币呢
[00:06:08] 就就就那个那个颜色啊
[00:06:11] 毛主席毛主席
[00:06:14] 那是十块就十块啊十块是毛主席啊毛主席啊啊啊炸炸炸了吧
[00:06:31] 赶紧的啊
[00:06:33] 你爸您也是啊
[00:06:41] 十块钱20 块钱
[00:06:42] 嗯
[00:06:43] 我可想省钱省到省到钱一个四块一个四块怎么样
[00:06:52] 这回说对了
[00:06:54] 我跟你说整钱一张票十块钱
[00:06:57] 新出锅儿的
[00:06:58] 你按照糖炒栗子糖炒人好看
[00:07:03] 金钱耳机
[00:07:04] 对吧
[00:07:05] 能相投的那种
[00:07:07] 那是刀子拿钱
[00:07:09] 修罗的金钱
[00:07:12] 好吧
[00:07:13] 咱们接着做米吧
[00:07:25] 十块钱十块钱啊
[00:07:27] 钱可是钱啊
[00:07:29] 什么钱不钱
[00:07:30] 你不能给我弄到哪儿给您找石头钱窝头
[00:07:35] 我明白您的意思
[00:07:36] 现金不拿木底没问题啊
[00:07:40] 明白了
[00:07:41] 可以了
[00:07:42] 可以了
[00:07:43] 我算什么算
[00:07:45] 这会儿考撒
[00:07:46] 不信我一算
[00:07:48] 他准答应咱接着转
[00:07:50] 接着再投一投
[00:07:56] 小子
[00:07:56] 你是赚
[00:07:57] 是答应你们呢
[00:08:03] 啊
[00:08:06] 咱别答应你要是再答应我今天啊行啊
[00:08:17] 投一投吧
[00:08:28] 有一个大的诶没看这样的大脑袋
[00:08:38] 我跟你说
[00:08:38] 我最近跟别人合作还真是变聪明
[00:08:42] 我一个人啊
[00:08:43] 干不过我找一帮忙把这便宜捞
[00:08:48] 您等会儿啊
[00:08:50] 后面有专门的嘛
[00:08:52] 谁闲着呢啊孙老师啊
[00:09:00] 您看看咱后台刚注完水
[00:09:03] 干嘛到柑橘啊
[00:09:05] 怎么您还吃呢
[00:09:06] 这什么世道啊
[00:09:08] 怕LA 怎么着跟他那儿吃亏啊
[00:09:11] 女的啊
[00:09:14] 是爱东啊
[00:09:15] 我跟您朋友吃亏了
[00:09:17] 吃亏了不可能吧
[00:09:20] 哈哈
[00:09:21] 这主要跟你说最近啊
[00:09:23] 让一株给他量火
[00:09:26] 他跟这个没少学
[00:09:29] 所以今天我没告诉过您
[00:09:32] 那怎么样
[00:09:33] 你活该什么活该啊
[00:09:36] 我叫你下来干嘛来了
[00:09:37] 什么事儿
[00:09:38] 您说
[00:09:38] 嗯
[00:09:38] 我让您啊
[00:09:39] 包括我忙帮忙把那便宜再捞回来等等
[00:09:43] 没听明白啊
[00:09:44] 什么便宜
[00:09:46] 刚才他上午跟我说
[00:09:48] 他们家七口人啊
[00:09:50] 明明是六口人
[00:09:52] 然后呢
[00:09:52] 他让我给他算
[00:09:54] 我这一算说投一投吧啊
[00:10:02] 嗯
[00:10:03] 我没反应过来
[00:10:03] 嗯
[00:10:05] 咱们这屁股就是屁股啊
[00:10:10] 爸爸啊噢噢啊是什么意思
[00:10:14] 你们就是怎么给他算人头算人口啊
[00:10:23] 这个花是送的啊
[00:10:27] 管他这事儿
[00:10:27] 不是说我这事儿
[00:10:29] 嗨嗨嗨嗨
[00:10:35] 我是你请来的
[00:10:37] 还是我是你请来的啊我没怎么着
[00:10:41] 我说我没听我没听
[00:10:43] 我请您到底谁我请的您
[00:10:47] 您请了我对您跟他打什么招呼
[00:10:49] 你从他那儿吃亏呢
[00:10:50] 对啊
[00:10:51] 那你就请我的意思
[00:10:53] 请我帮忙
[00:10:54] 对
[00:10:55] 让您帮我把这钱给捞回来
[00:10:57] 帮忙是帮忙啊
[00:11:00] 不说句话啊您
[00:11:05] 有有好处
[00:11:07] 我们俩挂牌堵
[00:11:09] 嗯
[00:11:10] 如果要我还赢了呢
[00:11:11] 啊
[00:11:12] 十块钱十块钱
[00:11:24] 到时候让他把他弄死
[00:11:27] 石头连把刀都买不了
[00:11:29] 我跟您说啊
[00:11:31] 您打赌是十块钱一个人为补十块钱没啊
[00:11:41] 你快点吧
[00:11:44] 你别等他了
[00:11:46] 我看他能打出什么哦
[00:11:51] 哦
[00:11:51] 15 年没堵住
[00:11:53] 你们俩人还多也对
[00:11:55] 就是甭管谁能唠十块钱
[00:11:57] 对对
[00:11:58] 那我要帮忙
[00:12:00] 嗯
[00:12:01] 让您白帮
[00:12:02] 嗯
[00:12:02] 我得拿十块钱
[00:12:03] 那十块钱全归您啦
[00:12:06] 那怎么意思
[00:12:06] 我跟你说
[00:12:07] 我给您一半一半
[00:12:10] 哎不行怎么着
[00:12:12] 五块钱出来帮你干嘛呀
[00:12:15] 五块钱少
[00:12:16] 再再拿顺顺丰都不够五块五
[00:12:23] 那你这你这五毛钱啊
[00:12:26] 那您说的一共十块钱几块钱
[00:12:29] 我不就干了
[00:12:33] 这名字这玩意儿
[00:12:34] 这五毛钱啊
[00:12:36] 给您六块
[00:12:36] 诶您您您得跟我说清楚了哈
[00:12:40] 你怎么吃的亏
[00:12:41] 你告诉我又跟他说一遍
[00:12:44] 不是您怎么吃的饭啊
[00:12:46] 这好那好
[00:12:47] 那咱们一块儿吧
[00:12:48] 就是他们家啊
[00:12:49] 其实是六口人
[00:12:50] 六口人怎么还愣说他们家七口人
[00:12:52] 你给他们家算
[00:12:53] 我给他们家算
[00:12:54] 你怎么算的
[00:12:55] 我是这么算的
[00:12:57] 他爸爸
[00:12:58] 哎
[00:12:58] 那个石老师等一下
[00:13:01] 我们刚才说
[00:13:02] 嗯
[00:13:02] 给他六块钱啊
[00:13:04] 能给我整套
[00:13:08] 还有呢
[00:13:08] 我才整票吗
[00:13:09] 你见过钱吗
[00:13:11] 不不不
[00:13:11] 我错了啊
[00:13:13] 你给我一个五块的
[00:13:14] 给我一块啊
[00:13:15] 那没五块
[00:13:16] 我要整他啊
[00:13:17] 五块钱整的行呢
[00:13:20] 您啊
[00:13:20] 您告诉我
[00:13:21] 您找我跟他说啊
[00:13:22] 头他爸爸
[00:13:24] 哎
[00:13:24] 那个
[00:13:25] 嗯
[00:13:25] 是啊
[00:13:26] 您要拿五块能赚两三块
[00:13:30] 我到哪儿给您找两三块钱呢
[00:13:33] 那您这钱多少钱啊
[00:13:35] 六块钱啊
[00:13:35] 您确定啊
[00:13:36] 我给您六块钱呢
[00:13:37] 不能乱啊
[00:13:38] 乱不了啊
[00:13:39] 那我听懂
[00:13:40] 我在他们家头大头爸爸a 那个怎么个意思
[00:13:45] 陈老师
[00:13:46] 您可给我纸票啊
[00:13:48] 不能给我当伴干嘛
[00:13:49] 不要当被告
[00:13:50] 我凑一堆狗的心花乱想
[00:13:52] 不行
[00:13:52] 那多好啊
[00:13:53] 哪好啊
[00:13:54] 俗话说狗带铃铛跑的欢呢啊
[00:14:02] 好不容易
[00:14:02] 您帮我这个忙
[00:14:05] 您得帮我这个忙啊
[00:14:06] 你这不是你数它答应吗
[00:14:08] 对就说诶你别说你这么大人了
[00:14:12] 你活不明白怎么活不明白
[00:14:15] 他们家人口凭什么算呢
[00:14:19] 应该谁算他算黑
[00:14:23] 要不然您这身肉
[00:14:25] 哎
[00:14:27] 你老提他干嘛去
[00:14:28] 他算他算他算
[00:14:30] 头一口肯定也得说哪位啊
[00:14:35] 这就捞回来了
[00:14:36] 对我在台上我帮你答应好啊
[00:14:40] 您再说您这身肉没白长
[00:14:42] 我给您智慧全在这儿呢
[00:14:45] 诶
[00:14:47] 我等着得了
[00:14:49] 怎么啦
[00:14:50] 我跟你说你们家人啊
[00:14:52] 不应该我给
[00:14:54] 那怎么着
[00:14:54] 您自己算啊自己算
[00:14:58] 您自己说行
[00:14:59] 那我去吧
[00:15:00] 您现在就坐在来啊
[00:15:01] 您到了
[00:15:14] 你美什么呢
[00:15:18] 干什么他干什么呀
[00:15:20] 他说
[00:15:21] 头儿
[00:15:21] 他们老公俩
[00:15:22] 老公俩呢
[00:15:24] 学生都得搭上啦
[00:15:26] 啊啊啊啊
[00:15:31] 岳云鹏可不必了
[00:15:37] 你说的话啊啊啊啊啊啊
[00:16:02] 你怎么说老公感觉怎么说呢
[00:16:04] 诶
[00:16:06] 我王乐
[00:16:07] 王乐
[00:16:07] 再来一遍啊
[00:16:09] 再来一遍
[00:16:09] 我忘了我忘了
[00:16:10] 哎
[00:16:11] 算了
[00:16:11] 那我怎么办
[00:16:12] 你就这么
[00:16:12] 诶接着逃跑
[00:16:15] 他姑娘
[00:16:16] 我妈
[00:16:17] 我哥
[00:16:17] 我嫂子
[00:16:18] 我我媳妇儿
[00:16:20] 朋友们
[00:16:21] 亲爱的朋友们啊
[00:16:30] 人算出七口人
[00:16:31] 他算的七口啊
[00:16:32] 真有钱啊
[00:16:34] 您看他算的机构
[00:16:35] 他们是男人算的
[00:16:37] 他算有毛病呢
[00:16:38] 来来来
[00:16:39] 没看出您再来一遍
[00:16:40] 再来一遍
[00:16:41] 来来来来
[00:16:43] 看看我妈啊
[00:16:58] 最后一遍
[00:16:59] 最后一遍
[00:17:00] 你太搞笑了
[00:17:01] 快来
[00:17:04] 我妈他们我妈骂您啊啊
[00:17:19] 俩妈俩妈不行啊
[00:17:23] 干嘛干嘛干嘛笑话的干嘛不啊啊啊啊
[00:17:32] 回头你你爸你妈来一份吧
[00:17:36] 你爸跟干嘛跟车下雨天又出来了啊
[00:17:39] 这算骂
[00:17:41] 干嘛不做干嘛不做也是奇葩
[00:17:45] 你看这样
[00:17:46] 你说我俩出来你妈都给他干呢
[00:18:02] 啊啊啊啊啊
[00:18:25] 怎么没看清楚
[00:18:26] 我我刚刚挣钱
[00:18:27] 我看看我看看他俩
[00:18:30] 我告诉我嫂子是谁呢
[00:18:32] 我媳妇儿了
[00:18:37] 怎么的怎么的
[00:18:38] 您听着啊
[00:18:40] 他们回来了
[00:18:41] 他就出去了
[00:18:43] 他们两口子真够烂的
[00:18:45] 我告诉你
[00:18:49] 就是您留一个人看家呢
[00:18:51] 这不我跟您说
[00:18:52] 您得回去你媳妇儿才能出来啊
[00:19:00] 真是的啊
[00:19:05] 真好
[00:19:07] 你们家人全在比赛的
[00:19:08] 这个问题点数少
[00:19:17] 在我们家有人不能别关注了
[00:19:19] 你说问的哑口无言
[00:19:21] 不可能
[00:19:22] 您送我儿子了吗
[00:19:31] 您还别了
[00:19:33] 真是的
[00:19:34] 我怎么忘了算他儿子
[00:19:37] 前两天他媳妇给他生儿
[00:19:41] 虽然说不大
[00:19:43] 就这么大
[00:19:45] 那人家一口人呢
[00:19:47] 我给王乐老师您看这怎么办
[00:19:52] 陈海东啊
[00:19:54] 这就是你的不对
[00:19:55] 知道吗
[00:19:56] 我怎么了
[00:19:56] 你们俩住的近
[00:19:58] 是我们俩住的近
[00:19:59] 我们俩俩住进队
[00:20:01] 他骑着生孩子
[00:20:02] 你
[00:20:05] 还真是给忘了啊
[00:20:07] 真是给忘了
[00:20:08] 你忘了啊
[00:20:09] 你忘了你来这儿干嘛
[00:20:11] 我知道你是王
[00:20:13] 我是王呢
[00:20:15] 咱俩在一块儿
[00:20:16] 您看我真对不住您了
[00:20:20] 您就把这六块钱
[00:20:22] 您就别丢人了
[00:20:23] 你知道吗
[00:20:24] 您就别说了
[00:20:25] 别数落我了
[00:20:26] 您想想办法怎么办
[00:20:28] 想办法是吧
[00:20:29] 啊
[00:20:30] 你加一块钱给您七块钱啊
[00:20:36] 七块钱
[00:20:36] 七块钱我给你出主意啊
[00:20:37] 没人说他
[00:20:38] 他说什么
[00:20:39] 他说我没算他儿子
[00:20:41] 你没算他儿子啊
[00:20:44] 你就说你算他儿子了
[00:20:48] 红口白牙不认账了
[00:20:50] 死了不让我就说我算他儿子
[00:20:53] 还了咱俩人没错
[00:20:55] 您说错了诶
[00:20:58] 你说刚才我没做你家谁
[00:21:00] 你没撞儿子
[00:21:01] 我告诉你儿子了
[00:21:15] 她问我什么时候正在向着他儿子
[00:21:19] 我现在就算你儿子啊
[00:21:25] 他问我在哪
[00:21:27] 我就在这儿呢
[00:21:29] 你儿子
[00:21:30] 你放儿子可好看了我才明白
[00:21:45] 我要算他儿子
[00:21:46] 他们家亲戚
[00:21:47] 我不算到他们家了
[00:21:56] 你把我过去给他了是吧
[00:22:00] 来了哇哇哇哇
[00:22:02] 你跟
[00:22:03] 谁火的旺旺收转会费的
[00:22:05] 转会费忘了啊
[00:22:08] 我我怎么了
[00:22:09] 你琢磨着
[00:22:11] 你惯着他了
[00:22:12] 可不呐喊咱们吃亏了
[00:22:16] 可不吃亏了嘛
[00:22:18] 我叫他下来干嘛来了
[00:22:20] 妈呀
[00:22:21] 啊
[00:22:22] 我再出一主意
[00:22:23] 可别加钱了啊
[00:22:25] 你看眼睛瞪你呢
[00:22:27] 你这东西加一块儿
[00:22:29] 这儿出个好主意
[00:22:31] 你说咱俩这都都折面儿知道吗
[00:22:34] 哪呀
[00:22:35] 他上来怎么说的
[00:22:36] 他上来跟你哭吗
[00:22:38] 他跟你说那个家里难过
[00:22:40] 心里难过
[00:22:40] 你就直接跟他哭怎么着
[00:22:43] 你们家几口人
[00:22:44] 我们家六口
[00:22:51] 跟他说吧
[00:22:52] 你就说说吧
[00:22:53] 肯定不信他
[00:22:55] 不信他就得给你说
[00:22:57] 得给我说
[00:22:58] 哎
[00:22:58] 你蒜头的男生答应段
[00:23:00] 到第七口
[00:23:01] 他们算你儿子呢
[00:23:02] 咱们不拆出来了吗
[00:23:04] 到第八号还没算你孙子呢
[00:23:06] 咱还这么一半啊
[00:23:13] 这挡风保暖你哭着啊
[00:23:15] 保暖的二胡怎么拉啊
[00:23:34] 我心里难受很难受啊
[00:23:37] 我们家困难困难困难困难困难困难困难
[00:23:45] 怎么办
[00:23:46] 我们家人
[00:23:48] 啊
[00:23:52] 我下不去手啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊
[00:24:13] 怎么办
[00:24:14] 为什么
[00:24:15] 刚才我坐你们家门口
[00:24:16] 我追了
[00:24:17] 我跟你说
[00:24:17] 我们家的人数多
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