[00:00:00] 本字幕由腾讯音乐天琴实验室独家AI字幕技术生成
[00:00:00] 银锤将裴元庆勇冠三军
[00:00:04] 瓦刚山中
[00:00:05] 将军不是对手
[00:00:06] 被打得闭门不战
[00:00:10] 大家正束手无策
[00:00:13] 徐茂公回山
[00:00:16] 见着程咬金、秦琼等人把自己的竹一说
[00:00:22] 诸位要想收服裴元庆
[00:00:26] 必须把裴元庆的夫人他俩儿子喝
[00:00:32] 他的女儿接到山寨
[00:00:36] 然后呢
[00:00:37] 把裴小姐许给咱们皇上
[00:00:42] 两下结了
[00:00:43] 亲
[00:00:44] 在请裴仁基上瓦岗山
[00:00:49] 大家一听都笑
[00:00:51] 先问a 万岁啊
[00:00:53] 你乐意吗
[00:00:55] 一谈到这事儿
[00:00:57] 程咬金不好意思了
[00:00:58] 这大绿脸
[00:00:59] 那又变紫了
[00:01:01] 这这像话吗啊
[00:01:04] 你说陪小姐长得貌美啊
[00:01:07] 知书懂礼
[00:01:08] 对呀
[00:01:09] 那也不般配呀
[00:01:11] 我不认识字儿是个粗人
[00:01:14] 说话粗鲁
[00:01:16] 都是你们把我推上来叫我当皇上
[00:01:19] 其实我这皇上就跟卖花生一样
[00:01:23] 可一堆一堆往外卖
[00:01:25] 不定哪一天我就嫁风
[00:01:28] 或者脱袍让位
[00:01:29] 陪小姐嫁给我
[00:01:31] 不是一朵鲜花插到**上了
[00:01:33] A 万岁
[00:01:35] 你怎么说话
[00:01:37] 陪小姐嫁给你正合适
[00:01:40] 你是皇上
[00:01:41] 她是正宫娘娘啊
[00:01:44] 天下的女孩想当正宫娘娘的
[00:01:47] 你说那得有多少啊
[00:01:51] 裴小姐岁数大了不好往外嫁给你不正合适吗
[00:01:55] 这阿三哥呀
[00:01:58] 说的不错
[00:02:00] 可别闹出错儿
[00:02:01] 人家不乐意
[00:02:02] 咱可变
[00:02:03] 欺负人家啊
[00:02:05] 等于我抢人家不哪能呢
[00:02:08] 你放心
[00:02:09] 那人家怎么能上山呢
[00:02:11] 有办法
[00:02:12] 我倚裴仁基的名义给家里写封信
[00:02:16] 就说he 裴元庆已经投降
[00:02:19] 瓦岗山派人搬取家小
[00:02:22] 这样就把陪老夫人和裴小姐等人搬到山上
[00:02:28] 到山上之后有人给你做媒
[00:02:31] 你就等着当新郎
[00:02:33] 我们那喝你的喜酒吧
[00:02:35] 嗯
[00:02:35] 好啊
[00:02:36] 老三胎
[00:02:37] 哎
[00:02:38] 你积德了半件好事儿
[00:02:39] 那我就等着当新郎咯
[00:02:42] 他不管了
[00:02:44] 再说
[00:02:44] 徐茂公和魏征一商量
[00:02:46] 怎么能弄出裴仁基的笔记J 好办
[00:02:50] 就派侯君集到营中弄来一封信
[00:02:54] 还不容易吗
[00:02:56] 按照这个笔记
[00:02:58] 给陪老夫人写了封信
[00:03:00] 连夜派王伯党
[00:03:01] 谢英灯带50 名军卒前往龙虎庄榨取裴仁基的夹角
[00:03:08] 这两个人来到龙虎庄
[00:03:10] 把书信呈给老夫人
[00:03:12] 老夫人看了
[00:03:15] 转脸又递给他的女儿培元龙、裴元虎
[00:03:19] 这两人老实巴交的守在家里
[00:03:22] 武艺不精
[00:03:24] 为人忠厚
[00:03:26] 一切事儿呢
[00:03:28] 是翠云小姐当家翠云小姐拿过这封信
[00:03:32] 一看是他父亲笔记信以为真
[00:03:36] 娘啊既然
[00:03:39] 我父亲和我兄弟已经投降
[00:03:42] 瓦岗山
[00:03:44] 我们如果不搬家
[00:03:47] 大隋朝一定派兵
[00:03:49] 马超拿我们满门家眷
[00:03:52] 咱们快走吧
[00:03:54] 好
[00:03:55] 老妇人叫俩儿子
[00:03:57] 收拾金银细软之物
[00:03:59] 粗笨东西不要了
[00:04:00] 庄子也不要了
[00:04:02] 随后跟着瓦钢军呢
[00:04:05] 出发了
[00:04:07] 剪断接触
[00:04:09] 这一天
[00:04:10] 来到瓦岗山下
[00:04:12] 不敢走前山
[00:04:14] 走到后山
[00:04:16] 因为潜山有张大斌和裴仁基的联营
[00:04:21] 后山羊肠小道
[00:04:25] 刚走不太远
[00:04:26] 就听山上鼓乐齐鸣
[00:04:29] 从山上下来时几声小饺
[00:04:34] 两下打了对头教义
[00:04:37] 称平从轿里走出几位老夫人
[00:04:40] 谁呀
[00:04:41] 第一个是程咬金的母亲莫氏
[00:04:45] 尤俊达的母亲上官是秦琼的母亲宁氏听说陪老夫人来了
[00:04:52] 赶紧迎接
[00:04:55] 寒暄已毕
[00:04:56] 接到山上来到帅府后牙
[00:05:01] 秦琼、徐茂公等人过来给陪老夫人建立
[00:05:06] 老夫人在上侄儿给你磕头了
[00:05:09] 哎呀
[00:05:11] 将军请起
[00:05:12] 请问你们几位都谁呀
[00:05:15] 在下秦琼秦叔宝啊
[00:05:17] 我叫徐茂公
[00:05:19] 哦哦哦
[00:05:20] 秦叔宝
[00:05:21] 这名字我可知道可鼎鼎有名啊a
[00:05:25] 我全家都来了
[00:05:27] 裴仁基
[00:05:27] 这个老天杀的在哪儿呢
[00:05:30] 为何不来见我
[00:05:32] 呃
[00:05:33] 这秦琼磕完头站起来
[00:05:36] 刚想张嘴说话
[00:05:38] 徐茂公说
[00:05:39] 老夫人
[00:05:41] 陪老将军正在山下安营
[00:05:44] 他还没投降呢啊
[00:05:47] 陪老夫人一愣
[00:05:50] 既然我的丈夫和我的儿子没有归降
[00:05:54] 你怎么把我给接来了
[00:05:56] 你这不是蒙我老太太吗
[00:05:59] 哎
[00:06:00] 老人家
[00:06:02] 我们早有耳闻
[00:06:03] 老人家深明大义
[00:06:05] 隋朝天子昏庸无道
[00:06:09] 听残言博纳中雨
[00:06:11] 据我们知道
[00:06:12] 裴老将军领着三少爷出征
[00:06:16] Pi 来个元帅叫张大斌
[00:06:19] 这个人是有名的贪官鱼文化节的干儿子
[00:06:25] 他来既不会统领三军
[00:06:28] 又不能将场真杀
[00:06:30] 什么也不会
[00:06:32] 他就是看着你的丈夫和你的儿子
[00:06:36] 而且呢
[00:06:38] 早晚裴氏父子要吃他的亏
[00:06:43] 我们把您请到山上
[00:06:46] 没有别的
[00:06:47] 确实是喜欢裴元庆he Pei 老将军
[00:06:53] 老人家
[00:06:55] 别怪我们啦
[00:06:56] 把您先给请到山上
[00:06:59] 请您谅解
[00:07:03] 陪老夫人是明白人
[00:07:06] 低声跟她女儿一商量
[00:07:09] 裴翠云说
[00:07:10] 娘啊
[00:07:10] 我们娘几个已经上山啦
[00:07:13] 我们还出得去吗
[00:07:15] 再者说了
[00:07:16] 人家说的对我父亲和我兄弟早晚要吃奸相的亏
[00:07:22] 咱们先在这儿住下
[00:07:25] 但有一点
[00:07:27] 请秦元帅
[00:07:29] 无论如何
[00:07:30] 把我的父亲
[00:07:31] 我的兄弟
[00:07:33] 也给街道山寨
[00:07:36] 徐浩顾客秦琼点头
[00:07:39] 你放心小姐
[00:07:40] 老夫人
[00:07:42] 几天之后
[00:07:43] 他准能来到山上
[00:07:45] 然后给他们安排一个跨院
[00:07:48] 这一家子单独住在一起
[00:07:50] 吃喝应用俱全
[00:07:52] 伺候的舒舒服服
[00:07:55] 没事儿领他们到瓦岗山的三阶六师看了看
[00:08:00] 这里头一片繁华景象
[00:08:02] 看看军队
[00:08:03] 看看见关
[00:08:04] 看看山寨
[00:08:05] 陪老夫人点点头
[00:08:08] 看来我的丈夫是得归到瓦岗山瓦
[00:08:12] 冈山将来必有出头之日
[00:08:17] 到了这一天
[00:08:19] 排摆酒宴
[00:08:21] 秦琼的母亲来宴请陪老夫人
[00:08:26] 在酒席钱
[00:08:27] 秦老夫人说
[00:08:29] 啊
[00:08:29] 老姐姐
[00:08:31] 哎呀
[00:08:31] 你真有福气
[00:08:33] 三个儿子一个女儿
[00:08:35] 你像我就一个儿子
[00:08:38] 太姑啊
[00:08:39] 你呢
[00:08:40] 还有个女儿
[00:08:41] 有女儿
[00:08:42] 有贴身小棉袄
[00:08:44] 今年多大了
[00:08:45] 24 岁定没定亲呢
[00:08:49] 哎
[00:08:49] 高门不成低门
[00:08:51] 不就叫我那个老头子给耽误了
[00:08:54] 哦哦哦啊
[00:08:57] 其实这样
[00:08:59] 妹妹有一言
[00:09:00] 不知当讲不当讲
[00:09:02] 陪老夫人说
[00:09:03] 嗨
[00:09:04] 咱姐俩虽然认识没有几天
[00:09:07] 可是一见如故
[00:09:08] 有什么话您尽管说啊
[00:09:11] 姐姐呃
[00:09:14] 翠云小姐尚未出阁
[00:09:16] 这可太好了
[00:09:18] 我们大魔国大德天子尚未订婚
[00:09:24] 还未立正宫呢
[00:09:27] 我想
[00:09:28] 我从种做法把翠云小姐
[00:09:31] 利维重工不知老姐姐意下如何
[00:09:34] 陪老太太听这话站起来
[00:09:37] 哎哟
[00:09:38] 饶妹妹啊
[00:09:39] 要说别的什么都行
[00:09:42] 这件事儿可不行
[00:09:44] 我们不敢高攀哪
[00:09:46] 万岁
[00:09:47] 乃一国之主
[00:09:48] 真龙天子小女如此丑陋
[00:09:52] 烟感当一国之母
[00:09:56] 他们里边儿老太太说话
[00:09:58] 在外间屋
[00:09:59] 那些将官听着心里暗暗发笑
[00:10:02] 偷偷看了一眼坐在陪老夫人旁边的小姐也都吃了一惊啊
[00:10:08] 但见裴翠云不高不矮
[00:10:10] 不胖不瘦
[00:10:11] 生就一张瓜子脸
[00:10:13] 眉如三春柳叶弯木
[00:10:16] 姒姓何入深潭
[00:10:19] 樱桃小口好端庄
[00:10:21] 一笑
[00:10:22] 酒窝显腮边
[00:10:24] 头晌青丝乌云碗
[00:10:27] 春笋阈值时
[00:10:29] 指尖往那儿一坐
[00:10:31] 恰似嫦娥出月宫
[00:10:34] 又如仙女照人间
[00:10:37] 暗暗喝彩呀
[00:10:39] 像这样的美人
[00:10:41] 老太太还说丑
[00:10:43] 咱这位卖私盐的阿丑又怎么说呢
[00:10:47] 在旁边
[00:10:48] 程咬金的母亲看着翠云心里暗乐心想
[00:10:55] 哇愁
[00:10:56] 要能娶这么个媳妇儿得打板供起来
[00:10:59] 可不知道人家乐意不乐意
[00:11:02] 听话
[00:11:02] 听音儿
[00:11:03] 陪老夫人没说不行
[00:11:05] 而是说怕配不上
[00:11:08] 秦母说
[00:11:08] 老姐姐
[00:11:09] 依我看
[00:11:10] 翠云小姐有福气才是正宫国母
[00:11:16] 我看就这么定了
[00:11:17] 哎哟
[00:11:17] 这怎么能行呢
[00:11:19] 不敢高攀a
[00:11:21] 你别这么说
[00:11:23] 咱们问问老太后
[00:11:24] 乐意不乐意牛脸问程咬金的母亲莫氏
[00:11:31] 老夫人
[00:11:32] 你看你这儿媳妇怎么样
[00:11:35] 末世赶紧说
[00:11:36] 哎呀
[00:11:37] 太好了
[00:11:38] 我是求之不得
[00:11:40] U 陪老夫人
[00:11:42] 想他也乐意
[00:11:44] 我女儿今年24 了
[00:11:47] 要能当上国母
[00:11:50] 这也就算有福气
[00:11:52] 也是我们老裴家祖上冒青烟了
[00:11:55] 扭头看看裴翠云
[00:11:58] 翠云那这个婚事你看怎么样
[00:12:03] 翠云把头一低
[00:12:04] 脸红了
[00:12:06] 微微地点点头
[00:12:08] 就算同意了
[00:12:10] 众人陪着陪
[00:12:11] 是母子尽欢而散徐茂公择选
[00:12:16] 良辰吉日要给程咬金成亲
[00:12:20] 这两天
[00:12:21] 程咬金既高兴又害怕
[00:12:23] 听母亲说
[00:12:24] 裴翠云长得十分貌美
[00:12:28] 自己这张脸儿有点儿
[00:12:29] 姥姥不疼
[00:12:30] 舅舅不爱
[00:12:31] 还很凶
[00:12:32] 甭别的
[00:12:33] 当响马的料儿
[00:12:35] 现在要当新郎
[00:12:37] 能不能把新娘给吓死呢
[00:12:41] 大家给他打气儿a 万岁啊
[00:12:44] 甭管那个
[00:12:45] 你现在是皇帝
[00:12:47] 你要是卖私盐的呢
[00:12:49] 长得比这再漂亮也不成
[00:12:51] 现在不一样
[00:12:53] 谁嫁给你就是娘娘啊啊
[00:12:55] 你啊
[00:12:56] 听着点儿好了
[00:12:57] 就这么地
[00:12:59] 转眼到了这一天
[00:13:01] 瓦缸山寨
[00:13:03] 彩旗飘扬
[00:13:04] 鼓乐喧天一片节日景象
[00:13:08] 金銮殿打扫干干净净
[00:13:10] 彩带高挂
[00:13:11] 公婆才女换上新装
[00:13:14] 甭说是瓦缸
[00:13:16] 寨里就是城里头
[00:13:18] 家家熏灯
[00:13:20] 户户结彩呀
[00:13:22] 君主是瓶酒方肉
[00:13:24] 喝喜酒
[00:13:26] 吉时一到徐茂公
[00:13:29] 当司理给程咬金和裴翠云主婚剪断接说拜天地
[00:13:35] 拜二老
[00:13:37] 老乘客裴翠云又对着拜了拜
[00:13:40] 由宫女蒋娘娘送入后宫
[00:13:45] 程咬金在前边儿跟众人喝酒
[00:13:49] 他不敢过去
[00:13:50] 为什么他觉得自己长得太难看了
[00:13:54] 怕点灯
[00:13:55] 吓着娘娘
[00:13:56] 干脆我晚点去跟徐茂公商量
[00:13:59] 我这玩意出来
[00:14:01] 你说把他吓死怎么办
[00:14:03] 不要紧有办法
[00:14:05] 今天要必无鬼
[00:14:07] 洞房不点灯
[00:14:09] 那今天晚上不点灯
[00:14:10] 明天早晨天一亮
[00:14:12] 人家看见我呢a
[00:14:14] 生米做成熟饭
[00:14:16] 到时候再说
[00:14:17] 那就看你能耐了
[00:14:18] 别的我就不管了
[00:14:19] 反正把媳妇给你骗到手了
[00:14:22] 哎呀
[00:14:22] 徐3 a
[00:14:23] 你缺德别着
[00:14:25] 我记得我成全你了
[00:14:28] 你多大了
[00:14:29] 对大嗓门倍儿光棍了
[00:14:32] 这回也有了老婆了
[00:14:34] 别的老婆
[00:14:35] 人家是娘娘
[00:14:36] 对对对对对对
[00:14:37] 一直捱到天黑了
[00:14:40] 后宫不许点灯
[00:14:44] 二更之后
[00:14:46] 程咬金才悄悄地到了洞房
[00:14:51] 一夜无书
[00:14:52] 到第二天早晨
[00:14:55] 裴翠云早早就起来了
[00:14:58] 宫国才女伺候她梳洗打扮
[00:15:01] 收拾完了
[00:15:03] 程咬金该上朝了
[00:15:06] 哪知道天光大亮
[00:15:08] 程咬金不敢起床
[00:15:10] 不但不敢起床把脑袋蒙上了
[00:15:13] 为什么呢
[00:15:14] 他怕娘娘看见呢
[00:15:16] 自己着急啊
[00:15:18] 憋的出了一身汗
[00:15:20] 嗯
[00:15:21] 媳妇儿是骗到手啦
[00:15:24] 要是裴翠云看见我这模样
[00:15:27] 还不得跟我闹
[00:15:28] 还不得急啊
[00:15:28] 这怎么办呢
[00:15:30] 一直耗到景阳钟响
[00:15:33] 这都催他上朝
[00:15:35] 哎呀
[00:15:36] 这怎么办
[00:15:36] 裴翠一看你老婆起来不像话呀
[00:15:39] 叫文武群臣笑话呀
[00:15:42] 急忙走到床边微微
[00:15:45] 晃晃
[00:15:46] 万岁
[00:15:47] 该上朝了啊
[00:15:50] 上朝哎呀
[00:15:52] 是得起来
[00:15:53] 要不起来大伙儿非笑话我不可
[00:15:56] 再说我娶了媳妇儿不上朝的坏
[00:15:59] 明儿想的是一狠心把被子一撩
[00:16:02] 把红头发蓝靛脸露出来了
[00:16:06] 就这一露脸
[00:16:08] 那把裴翠云吓的啊的一声扑通坐地下
[00:16:13] 都没气儿了
[00:16:14] 老陈一看娘娘吓的跌坐在地上
[00:16:17] 也顾不得别的了
[00:16:19] 撑地跳下龙床
[00:16:20] 一伸手就把裴素云抱起来
[00:16:23] 连声呼喊
[00:16:24] 娘娘醒来
[00:16:25] 娘娘醒来
[00:16:26] 那位说
[00:16:27] 皇上管娘娘和妃子叫梓童爱妃
[00:16:31] 老城干嘛称娘娘啊
[00:16:34] 因为老成从小穷苦
[00:16:36] 后来造反
[00:16:37] 当了皇上连字都不认识
[00:16:39] 懂得那些词吗
[00:16:41] 听别人喊娘娘
[00:16:42] 她也喊上了
[00:16:45] 白菜园
[00:16:46] 半天还醒过来
[00:16:48] 睁开了双眼
[00:16:50] 二目发直看着程咬金
[00:16:53] 程咬金说
[00:16:53] 哎
[00:16:54] 娘娘对对你别害怕
[00:16:56] 我是人
[00:16:58] 你是不是看我老成长得难看吓晕了
[00:17:03] 嘿嘿嘿
[00:17:04] 我虽然长得不好
[00:17:05] 可心地善良
[00:17:07] 自幼受苦
[00:17:08] 对老娘最笑我不是什么山寨王
[00:17:12] 是因为昏君杨广残暴不到我劫皇杠反山东三斧子取金的三斧子定瓦缸探地穴
[00:17:22] 得宝被大家推我当皇上
[00:17:25] 我虽然说当了皇上
[00:17:27] 可没亡了天下穷苦老百姓
[00:17:30] 我是想领着大伙儿推倒隋朝
[00:17:33] 使天下百姓有吃有喝
[00:17:35] 到那个时候
[00:17:36] A 我听你的
[00:17:38] 我们家你当家
[00:17:39] 如果你叫我当
[00:17:41] 我就当着你永远是国母
[00:17:44] 有的是皇上轮流做
[00:17:46] 今天到我家
[00:17:47] 你就是一朝国母
[00:17:50] 你要不让我当呢
[00:17:52] 嘿嘿
[00:17:52] 我找一个有德之人为陪你过一辈子
[00:17:56] 舒心日子
[00:17:57] 我听你的行不行啊
[00:18:00] 裴翠云躺在程咬金怀里
[00:18:04] 睁着两眼一边儿
[00:18:05] 听着程咬金说话
[00:18:07] 一边儿看老城这张脸
[00:18:09] 倒觉得好看起来不那么可怕了
[00:18:13] 她一看这张脸
[00:18:15] 太特殊了
[00:18:17] 北斗头这块儿有个者两个外眼犄角儿
[00:18:21] 一边一个折
[00:18:22] 一咧着腮帮子左右
[00:18:25] 脸蛋上一边一个纸
[00:18:27] 你让他一瞧
[00:18:27] 这五个纸怎么瞧怎么像五个别敷在脸上趴着
[00:18:33] 这叫五福升天
[00:18:36] 嘴大嘴唇厚
[00:18:38] 嗯嘴大能吞山河
[00:18:41] 我这个皇上不是一般人
[00:18:43] 确实大福大贵之人自己贵为一朝国母
[00:18:48] 祖上有德光宗耀祖
[00:18:52] 想着想着他躺在老城的怀里噗呲笑出声来了
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