[00:00:00] 本字幕由腾讯音乐天琴实验室独家AI字幕技术生成
[00:00:01] 花和尚鲁智深贪酒过量啊
[00:00:07] 现在就像个疯子
[00:00:09] 差不多少公开
[00:00:11] V 被五台山文殊院的佛归酒气熏人
[00:00:17] 离了歪斜的满嘴里哇啦
[00:00:20] 也不知说些什么玩意儿
[00:00:22] 这就要进山门
[00:00:24] 人家把门的和尚能让他进吗
[00:00:27] 按照文殊院的规矩
[00:00:29] 和尚偷着喝酒就得打
[00:00:34] 人家把猪账拿出来
[00:00:36] 把鲁智深给拦住
[00:00:38] 断喝一声
[00:00:40] A 鲁智深
[00:00:42] 你好大的胆子
[00:00:44] 你竟敢吃酒带醉
[00:00:46] 这还了得吗
[00:00:48] 休走
[00:00:48] 找打
[00:00:49] J 2 位也不值得深浅
[00:00:52] 他们也不知道
[00:00:53] 鲁智深地底今儿个可捅了篓子了
[00:00:57] 鲁智深一个没注意
[00:01:00] 挨了一个驻扎正宵的后背上
[00:01:03] 那玩意儿挺疼啊
[00:01:05] 这家伙都打击了
[00:01:07] 哇呀哈哈哈
[00:01:11] 好突然呀
[00:01:13] 你们敢打我
[00:01:15] 其实他本身也是个秃子
[00:01:17] 骂别人还是秃驴
[00:01:20] 伸手把竹杖抢过来往磕膝盖上一遍噶吧
[00:01:25] 把主站给掰折
[00:01:28] 挥手一拳正打在小河上
[00:01:31] 后背上
[00:01:31] 把小和尚打得嗷的一声
[00:01:34] 从山门外边儿打到里边去了
[00:01:37] 那个小和尚见识不好
[00:01:39] 浑身就跑
[00:01:41] 就这样
[00:01:42] 鲁智深迈大步进了山门
[00:01:45] 嗯嗯
[00:01:48] 好久啊好久啊
[00:01:52] 到这块儿风一吹
[00:01:55] 他觉着胸膛里头一闹腾
[00:01:58] 哇
[00:01:58] 一声吐J 加土这个臭劲儿就甭提了院儿里边儿
[00:02:05] 出来进去竟是和尚
[00:02:07] 见此情景
[00:02:09] 焉有不气之理
[00:02:12] 有人急忙禀报了间四间四一看啊弥陀佛
[00:02:23] 佛都念不出来了
[00:02:26] 马上聚众三四十人各拿条手棒子把鲁智深给包围了
[00:02:35] 尖刺就恨他打给我打
[00:02:38] 教育教育这个野东西
[00:02:42] 他是什么和尚
[00:02:43] 他纯粹是个花和尚
[00:02:45] 哎
[00:02:46] 打这之后
[00:02:48] J 绰号传开了
[00:02:50] 花和尚鲁智深就这么得来的名儿
[00:02:55] 漫说
[00:02:56] 三四十人呢
[00:02:57] 再多一倍
[00:02:59] 也治不服他
[00:03:01] 鲁智深一开什么你们想要给老虎旅胡子来吧
[00:03:11] 晒甲金谷发懒正好拿你们练刀练刀
[00:03:17] 一转圈就倒
[00:03:19] 一天就听见哎哟铺哎哟
[00:03:22] 哎哟互动互动
[00:03:26] 把这些和尚打得四散奔逃啊
[00:03:31] 鲁智深哈哈大笑
[00:03:34] 你别看醉成这样儿了啊
[00:03:36] 到他还认得
[00:03:38] 晃晃悠悠回到她住那地方去
[00:03:42] 咱没说吗
[00:03:43] 这是练坐禅
[00:03:45] DD 100 多盒上
[00:03:48] 人家照常都在练功
[00:03:51] 屋里头素素静静的
[00:03:53] 她咣一下进来了
[00:03:55] 哇
[00:03:58] 一进门儿就吐了一地
[00:04:01] 把这些和尚惊得把眼全睁开了
[00:04:04] 弥陀佛不怕丑
[00:04:07] 全把鼻子堵上
[00:04:09] 领班的大和尚一看
[00:04:11] 这还了得赶紧过来
[00:04:15] 鲁智深
[00:04:16] 你
[00:04:17] 你
[00:04:17] 你这要干什么
[00:04:19] 催晒家喝了酒心里难受
[00:04:25] 我要睡觉啊
[00:04:29] 他把大和尚补了到旁边去
[00:04:33] 来到床边是倒头便睡
[00:04:36] 时间不大
[00:04:37] 他睡着了
[00:04:38] 哎哟
[00:04:39] 这家和尚可不干了
[00:04:40] 这屋也没法待
[00:04:42] 太臭了
[00:04:43] 连被打的和尚
[00:04:45] 100来人去找老当家的去了
[00:04:49] 真长老文婷一皱眉
[00:04:52] 善哉善哉
[00:04:54] 罪过罪过呀
[00:04:58] 他现在干什么呢
[00:05:00] 他已经睡了
[00:05:01] 让他睡吧
[00:05:04] 酒醒之后
[00:05:06] 把他叫来
[00:05:07] 我要开导于他
[00:05:10] 这些手作间四不服气儿老当家的
[00:05:15] 您是不是对他太有点偏爱
[00:05:18] 您都有点溺爱不明了
[00:05:22] 这就是把他惯的
[00:05:23] 要不惯的哪有
[00:05:25] 今天而当休得多说
[00:05:29] 当初我就说过
[00:05:32] 只顾剃度于他
[00:05:35] 此人心地善良
[00:05:37] 秉性刚直
[00:05:40] 虽然时下凶顽
[00:05:42] 命中驳杂
[00:05:44] 酒后却得清净
[00:05:48] 正果非凡
[00:05:50] 汝等不急也
[00:05:53] 大伙儿一听就来了
[00:05:55] He j 老当家的可气
[00:05:57] 不把这鲁智深捧上了天
[00:06:00] 我们这么老多人都赶不上他
[00:06:04] 这诚心谈后台
[00:06:06] 大伙儿愤愤不服
[00:06:09] 等到第二天
[00:06:11] 小和尚来了
[00:06:13] 鲁智深醒醒醒醒鲁智深醒醒和鲁智深
[00:06:18] 这觉睡得香啊
[00:06:19] 听得耳边呼唤
[00:06:22] 揉揉眼睛就翻身坐起来了
[00:06:25] 哎呀
[00:06:26] 好帅呀好帅
[00:06:29] 什么事儿
[00:06:30] 开饭了你就惦记吃
[00:06:33] 老方丈找你问话
[00:06:36] 就见鲁智深啊一个箭步窜出去了
[00:06:39] 大伙儿一看
[00:06:40] 还是老当家的好时候呢
[00:06:43] 你看看
[00:06:43] 他比兔子跑得快
[00:06:45] 哪知道他一转身奔后边儿**去了
[00:06:49] 憋的等拉完了净完手
[00:06:54] 把衣服规整规整
[00:06:56] 这才来到方丈
[00:06:59] 可这阵儿他酒醒了
[00:07:00] 也知道自己犯了大错
[00:07:02] 而这个鲁智深这人最讲道理
[00:07:05] 不过你别看喝醉了酒耍疯
[00:07:08] 现在他明白了
[00:07:10] 深感内疚哇
[00:07:12] 规规矩矩往百变上衣贵
[00:07:17] 师父在上
[00:07:19] 弟子鲁智深参拜老师
[00:07:24] 阿弥陀佛之身哪
[00:07:29] 你知道你犯了什么过错了
[00:07:32] 不
[00:07:33] 弟子知道
[00:07:35] 我为犯了五戒的第四届不要贪杯食荤
[00:07:42] 我喝酒了
[00:07:44] 哎
[00:07:46] 你明明知道败坏了佛门的规矩
[00:07:52] 为什么明知故犯呢
[00:07:55] 师傅容弟子回禀我呀
[00:07:59] 嗜酒如命
[00:08:01] 多日不喝酒
[00:08:03] 把我馋坏了
[00:08:05] 实在有点儿抑制不住了
[00:08:08] 故此我才喝了酒
[00:08:10] 喝完酒我耍疯
[00:08:12] 闯下大祸
[00:08:14] 师傅您处置我打骂啊
[00:08:18] 干什么都行
[00:08:20] 老方丈一看这人蛮讲道理
[00:08:23] 也罢
[00:08:24] 只差灭你出发
[00:08:29] 看在赵施主的份上也就算了
[00:08:34] 下不为例
[00:08:36] 再不准时集邮
[00:08:39] 你记住了吗
[00:08:41] 弟子不敢
[00:08:42] 弟子不敢
[00:08:45] 好吧
[00:08:46] 你留下来
[00:08:48] 来人
[00:08:49] 准备早膳
[00:08:52] 你看看
[00:08:53] 老方丈不但没处罚他
[00:08:56] 还准备丰盛的早饭
[00:08:59] 两个人共进早餐
[00:09:02] 把那些合成气的鼻子都歪了
[00:09:05] 其实这J 老当家的糊涂了
[00:09:08] 嘿
[00:09:09] 你要这么惯他
[00:09:10] 往后他更眼里没人了
[00:09:13] 大伙儿是干鼓肚梅州呢
[00:09:16] 其实老方丈啊
[00:09:17] 的确对她偏爱
[00:09:21] 你得看鲁智深那样
[00:09:24] 老和尚从心里往外喜欢他
[00:09:27] 他说的真不假
[00:09:29] 他看出来了
[00:09:30] 鲁智深这人口快
[00:09:32] 心知
[00:09:33] 心地善良
[00:09:36] 尤其他看中的是
[00:09:39] 你照潭月照
[00:09:40] 施主那有钱呐
[00:09:43] 这是赵施主
[00:09:44] D 表弟要把鲁智深给得罪了
[00:09:48] 不是把财神爷给得罪了
[00:09:51] 那对文殊院的损失也太大了
[00:09:54] 哎
[00:09:55] 多方面的原因吧
[00:09:58] 所以他老袒护乳达
[00:10:01] 今儿个吃早饭的时候
[00:10:02] 一边吃老当家的
[00:10:05] 一边给他讲道理
[00:10:07] 就得循循善诱
[00:10:09] 鲁智深一边听着一边点头
[00:10:13] 两个时辰之后
[00:10:14] 饭也吃完了
[00:10:16] 这话也讲完了
[00:10:18] 老方丈笑笑呵呵
[00:10:20] 地址山
[00:10:21] 那去吧
[00:10:23] 往后千万不要破坏佛门的规矩了
[00:10:27] 弟子再也不敢了
[00:10:30] 鲁智深回去了
[00:10:32] 心说
[00:10:32] 哎
[00:10:33] 这老和尚还真不错
[00:10:36] 对我蛮够意思
[00:10:39] 我以为把我找去啦
[00:10:41] 不定你怎么处罚我呢
[00:10:44] 不但没说
[00:10:45] 旁的还请我吃顿饭
[00:10:49] 她低下头
[00:10:50] 回味回味
[00:10:52] 觉着老师傅说那些道理都是对的
[00:10:56] 怪就怪我自己
[00:10:58] 我怎么那么馋
[00:11:01] 我就没有决心改了吗
[00:11:04] 从今以后
[00:11:05] 我再也不要贪杯
[00:11:08] 甚至连想也不要想多的
[00:11:11] 要想喝酒
[00:11:12] 我就掐我自己的大腿
[00:11:16] 诉说简短
[00:11:17] 五个月
[00:11:18] 鲁智深没犯错误
[00:11:21] 哎
[00:11:21] 挺守规矩
[00:11:22] 和尚没开还行啊
[00:11:25] 老当家的找他谈次话还挺有效率
[00:11:29] 要照这样下去
[00:11:32] 还算个和尚
[00:11:34] 转眼之间
[00:11:35] 到了第二年春天
[00:11:37] 春暖花开
[00:11:39] 万物复苏
[00:11:41] 是大好的季节呀
[00:11:44] 这天
[00:11:45] 鲁智深没事儿来到山门外边儿
[00:11:50] 吸了几口新鲜的空气
[00:11:53] 看了看寺外的风景
[00:11:56] 哎呀
[00:11:56] 真是风景如画
[00:11:59] 鲁智深屈指一算
[00:12:02] 上山快一年了
[00:12:05] 哎呀
[00:12:06] 什么时候是我出头之日
[00:12:11] 难道我这一辈子就在这儿当和尚吗
[00:12:15] 要那样
[00:12:16] 我也太有点窝囊了
[00:12:19] 哎
[00:12:22] 他心里头又胡思乱想开了
[00:12:25] 哎
[00:12:25] 正在这时候
[00:12:27] 他听着远处有打铁的生
[00:12:32] 叮叮当当
[00:12:33] 叮叮当当
[00:12:34] 叮叮当当
[00:12:34] 叮叮
[00:12:36] 听了听还挺远
[00:12:38] 有时候这方啊
[00:12:40] 把这声音给飘来了
[00:12:42] 鲁智深异响
[00:12:44] 哪有
[00:12:45] 铁匠炉啊
[00:12:47] 我这儿还攒了不少银子
[00:12:50] 怎么办呢
[00:12:51] 我让他给你打一条铁禅杖
[00:12:55] 没事儿做练功用的
[00:12:57] 对我去看看
[00:13:00] 他顺着声音
[00:13:01] 它就下了山了
[00:13:03] 哎哟
[00:13:04] 一走就是十几里呀
[00:13:06] 你说在山顶怎么听那么镇
[00:13:09] 等来到山脚下一看
[00:13:11] 闹了半天
[00:13:12] 是一座小镇店
[00:13:15] 虽然只有一条街
[00:13:17] 还挺热闹
[00:13:18] 做买的做卖的
[00:13:20] 车来人往红蓝绿与
[00:13:24] 让人目不暇接呀
[00:13:27] 花和尚鲁智深一看高了兴J 半年来的
[00:13:32] 连门儿都没出过
[00:13:34] 这回我得好好溜达溜达
[00:13:36] 他东撒摸撒摸西看一看
[00:13:39] 穿街而过
[00:13:41] 哎
[00:13:41] 真找着那家铁匠炉了
[00:13:44] 三间门脸
[00:13:46] 旁边有个大院儿之志鹏
[00:13:49] 炉子通红的
[00:13:52] 里边儿好几个伙计
[00:13:54] 涨钱的涨钱儿
[00:13:55] 轮锤的轮锤
[00:13:58] 鲁智深被手一看
[00:14:01] 又打了不少半成品
[00:14:03] 都在那摆着
[00:14:05] 多数啊
[00:14:06] 都是农具
[00:14:08] 只有几样是刀枪
[00:14:11] 看那样打得还不错
[00:14:13] 他正看着呢
[00:14:15] 有个伙计一抬头
[00:14:17] 冲他一乐
[00:14:19] 是吧
[00:14:20] 你有事儿吗
[00:14:21] 阿弥陀佛
[00:14:23] 我想打造一条禅杖
[00:14:27] 你们接活不接活
[00:14:29] 哎
[00:14:30] 师傅请进来吧
[00:14:30] 请进来
[00:14:32] 答什么
[00:14:33] 我们都能达把她让进来
[00:14:35] 搬把椅子
[00:14:36] 他坐起来
[00:14:37] 这伙计是个负责的
[00:14:39] 就问
[00:14:41] 师傅在哪出家
[00:14:42] 五台山文殊院
[00:14:45] He
[00:14:46] 咱们都是邻居
[00:14:48] 实不相瞒呢
[00:14:51] 我们的一切一切全仰仗着保山呢
[00:14:56] 请问师父
[00:14:57] 您要打一条什么样的残障
[00:15:00] 有图纸吗
[00:15:03] 什么叫图纸
[00:15:04] 就是涂鸦
[00:15:06] 鲁智深一波脑袋没有
[00:15:09] 反正你们手艺好
[00:15:11] 你们想给打什么残障就打什么
[00:15:15] 只要港口儿好就行
[00:15:18] 那好嘞
[00:15:19] 您放心大胆交给我们
[00:15:21] 准保样式新颖
[00:15:24] 您使着是得心应手
[00:15:28] 那好
[00:15:30] 刀你们打不打打呀
[00:15:32] 你没开这有好几把
[00:15:33] 这这我不要
[00:15:35] 我要带鞘的刀
[00:15:38] 就叫戒刀吧
[00:15:40] 分量要加重一些行
[00:15:44] 要那样
[00:15:45] 给您打造一把后背
[00:15:48] 坚持雁翎刀
[00:15:51] 您看怎么样
[00:15:53] 比别的刀加重四两
[00:15:56] 呃
[00:15:56] 不行不行
[00:15:57] 轻轻轻轻
[00:15:59] 要比别的刀重上一倍
[00:16:02] 嗨
[00:16:03] 这颗新鲜
[00:16:04] 那您能拿得动啊
[00:16:06] 那玩屎
[00:16:06] 这可压手腕
[00:16:08] A 越重越好
[00:16:11] 那您的禅杖
[00:16:13] 准备要多少斤的呃
[00:16:17] 100斤
[00:16:19] 你看怎么样
[00:16:20] 伙计一听吓的缩脖
[00:16:23] 我师父
[00:16:24] 您别开玩笑了
[00:16:26] 哪有使那么重的
[00:16:29] 那是说书讲古
[00:16:32] 要是真的话
[00:16:33] 没有就是关王刀
[00:16:37] 那是举世无双的
[00:16:39] 只有81斤
[00:16:42] 那是祖宗啦
[00:16:45] 哪有打100斤的na
[00:16:50] 我不敢跟官方也比
[00:16:52] 那就打80 斤的吧
[00:16:55] 80 斤也重点儿
[00:16:58] 师傅
[00:16:59] 我给您出个主意
[00:17:01] 干脆我给您打造一条62 斤
[00:17:06] 那就够重的
[00:17:09] 可是打完之后
[00:17:10] 您别嫌沉呐
[00:17:12] 要废了可不行
[00:17:13] 你还得照样付钱
[00:17:15] 好啦
[00:17:17] 就依你打造一条62 斤重的禅杖
[00:17:23] 样式一定要好
[00:17:25] 您包给我们了
[00:17:26] 您要不满意
[00:17:28] 您甭给钱
[00:17:29] 您看好不好
[00:17:30] 我们如数把银子退给你
[00:17:33] 一言为定
[00:17:35] 打造这两样需要多少钱呢
[00:17:38] 不多
[00:17:38] 您给五两白银
[00:17:41] 可真不贵
[00:17:43] 先付钱
[00:17:45] 鲁智深从怀里拿出五两银子给了火情
[00:17:49] 问伙计什么时候来取货
[00:17:52] 伙计说快
[00:17:53] 三天之后您还这时候来
[00:17:56] 我们指定就打造完了
[00:17:59] 投完了
[00:18:00] 到时候我要满意
[00:18:02] 必定重重给你赏钱
[00:18:04] 好的
[00:18:05] 师傅
[00:18:06] 我手里有活儿
[00:18:07] 不陪您啦
[00:18:08] 您乐意看您就歇会儿
[00:18:10] 不乐意看有事儿您办事儿去
[00:18:12] 杀一家告辞
[00:18:14] A 鲁智深挺高兴
[00:18:17] 从铁匠炉出来
[00:18:19] 兴致正浓
[00:18:22] 还接茬儿溜达
[00:18:24] 旁边就是酒馆
[00:18:27] 鲁智深一踢鼻子
[00:18:30] 哎呀
[00:18:31] 又想喝酒了
[00:18:35] 一想
[00:18:36] 我已经发了誓
[00:18:37] 不喝酒啊
[00:18:39] 我怎么这馋虫又上来了
[00:18:42] 真他娘的没出息
[00:18:45] 就这样啊
[00:18:46] 偷偷的掐了自己大腿里子一下啊
[00:18:50] 掐的还真疼
[00:18:53] 他打了个激灵
[00:18:55] 平胸从酒馆儿先不过去不喝
[00:19:00] 看看我自己
[00:19:01] 能管住我自己不
[00:19:04] 没走几步
[00:19:06] 又一家酒馆
[00:19:09] 哎
[00:19:09] 这家的酒坛子还没盖
[00:19:12] 风珍一飘啊
[00:19:13] 哎
[00:19:14] 这个九位
[00:19:15] 这个诱人呢
[00:19:18] 嗯
[00:19:20] 他娘的
[00:19:21] 怎么这么多卖9 D
[00:19:24] 偏在我鼻子底下卖酒
[00:19:27] 这真叫人难受
[00:19:31] 不喝
[00:19:33] 他又掐了自己一下
[00:19:36] 哪知道这都是自欺欺人地招儿
[00:19:40] 哎呀
[00:19:40] 往前没走了几步
[00:19:43] 他自己管不住自己
[00:19:46] 这馋虫啊
[00:19:47] 顺着嗓子眼往上爬
[00:19:50] 这不是他闹心呢
[00:19:53] 哎呀
[00:19:55] 机会难得呀
[00:19:59] 不然的化
[00:20:00] 我再开一回荤
[00:20:04] 在解一回馋
[00:20:06] 这回喝完了
[00:20:08] 下半辈儿是滴酒不沾
[00:20:12] 就这一回
[00:20:14] 还不多喝
[00:20:17] 适可而止
[00:20:19] 千万别捅娄子
[00:20:22] 对
[00:20:22] 少喝点怕啥对不对啊
[00:20:26] 谁也不知道
[00:20:28] 嗯
[00:20:28] 就这一回啊
[00:20:30] 智山那a 记住了啊
[00:20:32] 就这一回
[00:20:33] A 记住了
[00:20:34] 呵
[00:20:34] 自己跟自己还演戏呢
[00:20:37] 卖不
[00:20:38] 他进了酒馆
[00:20:40] 拉把椅子往那儿一坐
[00:20:41] 伙计就愣住了
[00:20:43] 师傅
[00:20:43] 您要干什么
[00:20:45] 拿酒来晒一下
[00:20:48] 要喝酒
[00:20:50] 哼
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