[00:00:00] A Visit From St. Nicholson - Bob Rivers
[00:00:04] Twas' the fright before Christmas
[00:00:05] No one upset me
[00:00:07] With a big bowl of popcorn watching TV
[00:00:10] I stretched gave a yawn settled back in my chair
[00:00:13] In hopes that St Nicholson soon would be there
[00:00:16] The children were lying awake without sleep
[00:00:18] They'd seen all his movies
[00:00:20] He gives them the creeps
[00:00:22] I'd cued up cuckoo's nest with my trusty remote
[00:00:24] To the part where he had all the nuts in the boat
[00:00:27] When out in the yard there arose such a noise
[00:00:30] I turned off the TV to see what it was
[00:00:32] And what to my wandering eyes should approach
[00:00:35] But the Los Angeles Lakers and
[00:00:36] Pat Riley their coach
[00:00:38] The limo was racing the team at it's heels
[00:00:41] That's when I saw him the man at the wheel
[00:00:44] He ranted and cursed and waved
[00:00:45] Round his swizzle stick
[00:00:47] And I knew in a second it must be Jack Nick
[00:00:50] More rapid than the Celtics these
[00:00:51] Lakers they came
[00:00:53] He screamed like a mad man
[00:00:54] And called them by name
[00:00:55] Now Magic now Worthy now Scott and Kareem
[00:00:59] On Cooper on Rambis and the rest of the team
[00:01:02] Down the chimney St Nicholson came with a groan
[00:01:06] Then he brushed off the suit and said Honey I'm home
[00:01:10] He was wearing a trench coat with beer it was stained
[00:01:14] And his shirt was clawed to shreds by Shirley Maclaine
[00:01:17] He had a fat face and a flabby beer belly
[00:01:19] From too many trips to the bar and the deli
[00:01:22] He said it's tough when an actor becomes fat and lazy
[00:01:26] I only get calls to play weirdo's and crazies
[00:01:29] And middle aged has been's with washed up careers
[00:01:33] But I'll fix them all and play Santa this year
[00:01:36] And with that he buried his head in the sack and said
[00:01:39] Let's see what you get from your old buddy Jack
[00:01:42] A hatchet for daddy he reared back his head
[00:01:45] To scare all those little buggers upstairs in bed
[00:01:49] And a stiff drink for mommy in a nice tall glass
[00:01:52] She could really use something to
[00:01:54] Kill that bug up her chimney
[00:01:55] With a wink of his eye and a twist of his face
[00:01:58] He threw all the stockings into the fireplace
[00:02:01] What could I do what could I say
[00:02:04] What would I wear on my feet Christmas day
[00:02:06] I asked for a reason and turning his head
[00:02:09] He looked straight at me and here's what he said
[00:02:12] Why you wanna know why
[00:02:15] Do you really wanna know why pal I'll tell you why
[00:02:20] When you're out Christmas shopping
[00:02:22] You know doing your little Christmas things
[00:02:26] With all your little Christmas friends
[00:02:28] Spreading all that Christmas cheer
[00:02:30] With those stupid Christmas songs
[00:02:33] Did you ever stop and think of
[00:02:34] Picking up a little something for old Jack
[00:02:37] Did you ever stop to think of what
[00:02:39] Jack might like for Christmas
[00:02:41] You know Jack from the movies up on the big screen
[00:02:45] Pouring his heart out giving it everything he's got
[00:02:48] Day in and day out just trying as hard as he can
[00:02:51] To bring a tiny little bit of sunshine
[00:02:54] Into your miserable little humdrum lives
[00:02:57] Did you ever think of good ole Jack for a second
[00:03:00] No not once maybe old Jack just wasn't that good
[00:03:04] Maybe I wasn't good enough
[00:03:05] In the postman always rings twice
[00:03:08] Acting my guts out for you in that one
[00:03:10] Cuckoo's nest the shining witches of fricking Eastwick
[00:03:13] Prizzi's fricking honor all for you pal
[00:03:16] Just to brighten things up for you
[00:03:18] Not good enough though is it
[00:03:20] No you want me to brighten up the Christmas season too
[00:03:23] Isn't that what you want pal
[00:03:25] Okay let's make things real bright around here
[00:03:27] What do you say we decorate the tree
[00:03:29] String up these pretty lights here
<!doctype html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="utf-8">
<meta http-equiv="X-UA-Compatible" content="IE=edge">
<meta name="viewport" content="width=device-width, initial-scale=1, maximum-scale=1, user-scalable=no">
<title>404</title>
<style>
	body{
		background-color:#444;
		font-size:14px;
	}
	h3{
		font-size:60px;
		color:#eee;
		text-align:center;
		padding-top:30px;
		font-weight:normal;
	}
</style>
</head>

<body>
<h3>404，您请求的文件不存在!</h3>
</body>
</html>