[00:00:00] Santa Claus And His Old Lady - Cheech & Chong (切奇 & 崇) [00:00:00] "Ma-ma-ma-ma-cita [00:00:02] Donde esta Santa Cleese [00:00:05] The vato wit da bony knees [00:00:07] He coming down da street wit [00:00:08] No choos on his feet [00:00:10] And he's going to [00:00:11] No no that ain't it [00:00:12] Mamamasita donde esta Santa [00:00:14] Claus [00:00:15] Da guy wit da hair on his jaws [00:00:17] He's [00:00:18] Nah Hey man come [00:00:20] Over here man [00:00:21] I need some help man [00:00:23] Yeah man I can dig that [00:00:25] Like uh what are ya doing man [00:00:27] Aw I'm trying to write a song [00:00:29] About Santa Claus man [00:00:30] But it's not coming out [00:00:31] About who man [00:00:32] About Santa Claus man [00:00:33] You know Santa Claus man [00:00:34] Oh yeah man [00:00:35] I played with those dudes man [00:00:37] What [00:00:37] Yeah last year at the Fillmore man [00:00:39] Me and the bass player sat in man [00:00:41] Oh hey man you think [00:00:43] Santa Claus is a group huh [00:00:44] No it's not a group man [00:00:46] Wha They break up man [00:00:47] No man It's one guy man [00:00:48] Y'know he had a a red suit on man [00:00:50] With black patent leather choos [00:00:52] You know the guy man [00:00:54] Oh yeah he's with Motown ain't he [00:00:57] Yeah I played with that dude too man [00:00:59] He's a good singer man [00:01:00] No no hold on man [00:01:01] He's not with Motown man [00:01:04] Well then he's with Buddah man [00:01:06] No aw man you don't know [00:01:08] Who Santa Claus is man [00:01:09] Yeah well I'm not from here man [00:01:10] Like I'm from Pittsburgh man [00:01:12] I don't know too many local dudes [00:01:13] Ohhh I see Well hey man sit back [00:01:16] And relax and I'll tell you da story [00:01:17] About Santa Claus man [00:01:19] Listen [00:01:20] Once upon a time about hmmm [00:01:22] Five years ago there was [00:01:23] This groovy dude and [00:01:24] Has name was Santa Claus [00:01:25] Y'know [00:01:26] And he used to live over in the projects [00:01:27] With his old lady and [00:01:29] They had a pretty good thing together [00:01:30] Because his old lady was really fine [00:01:32] And she could cook and all that [00:01:34] Stuff like that y'know [00:01:35] Like she made da best brownies in town man [00:01:37] Oh I could remember 'em now man [00:01:39] I could eat one of 'em man [00:01:41] Wow did you know these people man [00:01:43] Oh yeah man [00:01:45] They used to live next door to me [00:01:46] Y'know [00:01:47] Until they got kicked out man [00:01:49] Wha [00:01:49] They got kicked out of the projects man [00:01:51] Yeah you know what happened man [00:01:52] They used ta live with all these midgets [00:01:54] Y'know and da midgets used [00:01:56] To make a lotta noise y'know [00:01:57] Like pounding and hammering [00:01:59] And pounding all night man [00:02:00] Typical freaks huh [00:02:01] Oh yeah man they were really freaks man [00:02:04] As a matter of fact [00:02:05] They all moved up north together y'know [00:02:08] Oh they had to go [00:02:09] Get their head together man [00:02:10] Yeah get their head together [00:02:11] And they started a commune y'know [00:02:13] It was called the uh [00:02:14] Santa Claus and his Old Lady Commune [00:02:16] It was a real famous one up there man [00:02:18] And they used to sit around and groove [00:02:20] All the time y'know [00:02:21] Oh yeah [00:02:22] Yeah a really good time man [00:02:23] That sounds heavy [00:02:24] Yeah they eat da brownies man [00:02:26] And they drink da tea man [00:02:28] And what they did most of da time [00:02:29] Though was make a lotta goodies [00:02:31] Y'know [00:02:31] And they had everything they needed [00:02:33] They only needed to come into town [00:02:34] Maybe once year or something like that [00:02:36] To pick up the welfare check [00:02:37] And the food stamps right [00:02:39] Yeah [00:02:40] No no what they did man is that [00:02:41] Once a year [00:02:42] When they made all the goodies [00:02:43] Y'know [00:02:44] They used ta put 'em in a beeg [00:02:45] Chopping bag and then [00:02:46] They used ta take da [00:02:47] Chopping bag and give and give 'em to all the [00:02:49] Boys and girls all da way around da world man [00:02:51] Hey well that's hip man [00:02:52] That sounds real nice [00:02:54] Oh yeah [00:02:55] They were really nice people man [00:02:56] And so much class man [00:02:58] They had so much class y'know [00:02:59] Like even take da way [00:03:00] They used ta deliver da toys y'know [00:03:02] It's like Santa Claus used ta have this [00:03:04] Really charp chort man y'know [00:03:06] It was lower to da ground [00:03:08] Had twice-pipes candy-apple red and button top [00:03:11] Oooo clean [00:03:13] Hey that sounds like a hip snowmobile man [00:03:15] No no it wasn't a snowmobile [00:03:16] It was a sled y'know [00:03:18] One of those big sleds y'know [00:03:19] And he used ta have it pulled [00:03:21] By some reindeers y'know like reindeers [00:03:23] Some what man [00:03:23] Some reindeers y'know [00:03:25] He used ta hook them onto da sled [00:03:26] And then he used ta stand up inside [00:03:28] Da sled and hold on to da reins and [00:03:30] Then call out their names like [00:03:31] On Donner On Blitzen On Chewy On Tavo [00:03:35] C'mon Becto [00:03:37] And then the reindeers [00:03:38] Used ta take off into da sky and [00:03:39] Fly across da sky man [00:03:41] Wow man That's far out man [00:03:44] Yeah And then when they flied across da sky [00:03:46] They used ta come down to places like [00:03:48] Oh Chicago L A [00:03:49] Nueva York and Pacoima and all those places [00:03:52] Y'know [00:03:52] And then land on top of people's roofs [00:03:54] And then 'ol Santa [00:03:55] Claus would make himself real small y'know [00:03:57] Like a real small guy and [00:03:59] He'd come down da chimney and [00:04:00] Then he would give you all da stuff that he [00:04:02] Made man And [00:04:03] Dig this man [00:04:03] He did it all in one night man [00:04:05] Hey just a minute man [00:04:07] Now how'd he do that man [00:04:09] Oh well man he took da freeway [00:04:10] How else man [00:04:11] No man No man [00:04:13] How'd he do all that other stuff man [00:04:15] Like how'd he make himself small man [00:04:18] And how'd he like [00:04:19] How'd he get the reindeer [00:04:21] Off the ground man [00:04:22] Oh well man [00:04:24] He had some magic dust man [00:04:26] Some magic dust [00:04:27] Yeah magic dust y'know [00:04:29] He used ta give a little bit to da reindeer [00:04:31] A little bit to Santa Claus [00:04:32] A little bit more for Santa Claus [00:04:34] A little bit more [00:04:34] And this would get the reindeer off man [00:04:37] Aw got 'em off man [00:04:38] Are you kidding man [00:04:39] They flew all da way around da world man [00:04:41] Hey that's far out man [00:04:44] Hey how come [00:04:45] I've never met this dude man [00:04:47] Oh man [00:04:48] He doesn't do that bit anymore man [00:04:49] It got too dangerous man [00:04:51] Yeah I can dig that man [00:04:52] 'Cause that's a dangerous bit man [00:04:54] Yeah lemme tell ya it sure was man [00:04:56] Like just two years ago man [00:04:57] He got stopped at the border y'know [00:04:59] And they took him into another room [00:05:00] And took off his clothes man [00:05:01] And searched him and searched his bag of [00:05:03] Goodies man [00:05:04] And then when he was leaving man [00:05:06] He was flying through [00:05:07] The air and somebody took a chot [00:05:08] And his reindeer y'know [00:05:09] Aw that's a drag man [00:05:10] Yeah it really was man [00:05:11] And then man he went down South man [00:05:13] And they tried to cut off his hair and [00:05:15] His beard man [00:05:16] And all the time [00:05:17] He was getting stopped and [00:05:18] Pulled over and asked for his id man [00:05:20] Just everywhere he went [00:05:22] He ran into too much recession man