I Keed (Album Version) - Triumph The Insult Comic Dog I thought my CD was done but that's not what they say Do an insult track we need it for radio play Cram in the names I'll take a long hard pee Time to mess up the biz like an MP3 American Idols that's who I look for In the poop section of my local record store Ruben or clay oh which should I pick It's like choosing which puddle of vomit to lick And when I want something even more fruity and fake I look up 'N' for N'Sync or 'T' for Timberlake So many skills Justin's making a buck at Does he rap Does he sing He doesn't know what to suck at Now as for the bitches let's give Britney thanks For the face that launched a million pre-teen skanks You were a virgin that had to be hard You've had more bones in your mouth than a St Bernard I keed I keed He just make a little joke I joke with you Little dog little joke I keed I keed He just make a little joke Yeah you're a great actress too Little dog little joke Now let's go to Wal-mart where they won't sell my CD That company's nuts are in a jar in aisle 3 But you can see Christina in all her sluthood It's like watching porn but the music's not as good I want to stuff my TV's crotch with a dollar Still I'd hump you if I could wear my flea collar You're looser than my poop after eating Honeydew Only 50 Cent's been plugged more than you And yet you're too old for Fred Durst to desire He's checking out the cast of Lizzie McGuire Soon Fred will try to get Mandy Moore To open for him and I don't mean on tour You're not the first Durst poor R Kelly His videos premiere at the L A P D I believe they set up an innocent guy You know what else I believe I can fly I keed I keed He just make a little joke I joke with you Little dog little joke I keed I keed He just make a little joke I believe Michael too yes Little dog little joke Now look how friggin' cool those guys from the Strokes are Their riffs are three times as old as my jokes are Hey White Stripes guy is that your wife or your sister Shouldn't you be playing country music mister Hey Coldplay maybe you should be Coldsore Back when you were U2 I liked you so much more Somehow your song Yellow reminds me of pee I think 'cause when it's over it's a big relief to me Now Pink is that your hair or a tattoo I didn't know Supercuts had a drive-thru Yo Nelly what the hell kind of name is that That's about as gangsta as an easter bonnet hat And Snoop says he's clean now you make the call The guy's higher than Billy Joel's cholesterol Snoop there's only room for one dog putz And I can rap can you lick your own nuts Poop Diddy are you in show business still I didn't know wearing a suit was a skill J Lo J Lo the giant tail-o For a doggy's nose that's the Holy Grail-o Shakira's butt's fine but it won't hold still you see I sniffed Elton John's tush just for all the history I sniffed J-Lo's ass and got too touchy-feely She let loose a bomb that was bigger than chili I keed I keed He just make a little joke I joke with you Little dog little joke I keed I keed Nothing wrong with your butt I even like I don't like Affleck Nothing wrong with your butt Avril Lavigne punk queen now there's a kidder Go back north Celine needs a babysitter Philip Glass atonal ass you're not immune Write a song with a f**king tune And on the list of pussies don't leave off MTV I scared them and Eminem so they gave the hook to me Slim Shady why do you find me so scary We're just two regular dudes who banged Mariah Cary Wipe off that frown just do without it Hey my mom was a bitch But I don't go writing songs about it I keed I keed He just make a little joke I joke with you Little dog little joke I keed I keed He just make a little joke You know I never meant to hurt you Never meant to make you cry I keed I keed He just make a little joke It's a joke you see Laffy laffy laffy ha ha 404

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