[00:00:00] Mountain [00:00:00] Billy the mountain [00:00:15] A regular picturesque [00:00:21] Postcardy mountain [00:00:26] Residing between lovely [00:00:31] Rosamond and Gorman [00:00:40] With his stunning wife Ethell [00:00:44] A tree [00:00:44] A tree [00:00:58] Billy was a mountain [00:01:03] Ethel was a tree [00:01:04] Growing off of his shoulder [00:01:12] Billy was a mountain [00:01:17] Ethel was a tree [00:01:18] Growing off of his shoulder [00:01:25] Billy had two big [00:01:27] Caves for eyes [00:01:28] With a cliff for a jaw [00:01:30] That would go up 'n down [00:01:32] And whenever it did [00:01:33] He'd puff out some dust [00:01:35] And hack up a boulder [00:01:35] Hack [00:01:35] Hack up a boulder [00:01:41] Hack hack [00:01:42] Hack up a boulder [00:01:42] Hack hack hack [00:01:47] Hack up a boulder [00:01:50] Now one day a man in a checkered suit drove up in a big [00:01:54] Lincoln continental and he laid a huge [00:02:01] Bulging envelope right at the corner of billy the mountain [00:02:04] Right where his 'foot' was supposed to be [00:02:07] Now billy the mountain he couldn't believe it [00:02:10] All those postcards he'd posed for for over these years [00:02:14] And finally now at last his royalties [00:02:23] Billy the mountain was rich his eyeball caves widened in amazement [00:02:32] His cliff [00:02:33] Which was his jaw [00:02:34] It dropped thirty feet [00:02:40] Ooh a bunch of dust puffed out rocks and boulders hacked up [00:02:49] Hack hack hack hack hack hack hack [00:02:50] Crushing 'the Lincoln' [00:02:52] Now the man in the checkered suit well [00:02:57] Without his car he went screaming off into the desert at sunset [00:03:09] All the way to Rosamond to get a beer and tell everybody there [00:03:14] Including Ronnie Cook what had happened to his car [00:03:19] I gave him the money [00:03:23] He acted real funny [00:03:26] He hocked up a rock and [00:03:29] It totaled my car [00:03:31] Oh do you [00:03:32] Know any trucks [00:03:34] Might be bound for the Valley [00:03:38] I don't want to stand here [00:03:41] All night in this bar [00:03:44] Dear lord [00:03:44] I don't want to stand here [00:03:48] All night in this bar [00:03:50] No s**t [00:03:51] I don't want to stand here [00:03:54] All night in this bar [00:04:02] By two o'clock and the bars are already closed down [00:04:07] Billy had already broken 'the big news' to Ethel [00:04:13] With dust and boulders everywhere billy choked with excitement announced [00:04:23] Ethel we're going on a vacation [00:04:33] Yes and they were going on a vacation [00:04:37] Oh and Ethel Ethel Ethel Ethel just like a woman [00:04:41] Of course she was delighted she creaked a little bit [00:04:47] And some old birds flew off of her [00:04:51] Hey Mr Tambourine Man play a song [00:04:56] Billy told Ethel they were going to [00:05:02] They were going to New York [00:05:05] Ethel we're going to [00:05:17] New York [00:05:25] But first they were gonna stop in Las Vegas [00:05:28] It's off to Las Vegas [00:05:33] To check out the lounges [00:05:36] Pull a few handles [00:05:39] Drink a few beers [00:05:42] Oh Ethel [00:05:43] Ethel my darling [00:05:45] You know that I love you [00:05:48] I'm glad we could have a [00:05:51] Vacation this year [00:05:54] Oh neet o [00:05:55] Glad we could have a [00:05:58] Vacation this year [00:06:06] They left that night crunchin' across the mojave desert [00:06:12] Their voices echoing through the canyons of your minds [00:06:18] Ethel want to get a cuppa cawfee [00:06:32] There's a Howard Johnsons want to eat some clams [00:06:43] The first noteworthy piece of real estate they destroyed was Edwards Air Force Base [00:06:49] And to this very day 'wing nuts' and data reduction clerks alike [00:06:55] Speak in reverent whispers about that fateful night when [00:06:59] Test stand number one and the rocket sled itself got LUNCHED [00:07:08] By a famous mountain in and his small wooden wife [00:07:18] Good bye to Las Vegas [00:07:22] Farewell to the lounges [00:07:25] We pulled a few handles [00:07:28] We drank a few beers [00:07:32] Guess that George Putnam [00:07:34] Should be on the air now [00:07:37] With the biggest new story [00:07:40] That has broken this year [00:07:43] George Putnam [00:07:44] His biggest new story [00:07:46] That has broken this year [00:07:53] Take it away George [00:07:55] Word just in to the KTTV news service undeniably links [00:08:02] This mountain and his wife to d**g abuse [00:08:06] And pay offs as part of a San Joaquin Valley smut ring [00:08:13] However we can assure parents in the Southern California area [00:08:17] That a recent narcotics crack down [00:08:19] In Torrance Hawthorne Lomita [00:08:20] Westchester Playa del Rey Santa Monica [00:08:21] Tujunga Sunland San Fernando Pacoima Sylmar [00:08:22] Newhall Canoga Park [00:08:24] Palmdale Glendale Irwindale [00:08:25] Rolling Hills Granada Hills Shadow Hills Cheviot Hills [00:08:27] Will provide the secret evidence [00:08:29] The Palmdale grand jury has needed to seek a criminal indictment [00:08:35] And pave the way for stiffer legislation increased federal aid [00:08:42] And avert a crippling strike of bartenders and veterinarians throughout the inland empire [00:08:53] But it is this reporter's opinion that Ethel is a former Communist [00:09:01] Within the week Jerry Lewis had hosted a telethon [00:09:04] Wah wah wah nice lady [00:09:07] To raise funds for the injured [00:09:09] Injured [00:09:10] And homeless [00:09:12] Homeless [00:09:14] In Denver [00:09:21] As Billy had just levelled it and a few miles right outside of town [00:09:26] Billy caused a 'Oh Mein Papa' in the earth's crust [00:09:33] Right over the secret underground dumps where they keep the pools of old poison gas [00:09:42] And obsolete germ bombs just as a freak tornado cruised through [00:10:12] Sucking up two thirds of it [00:10:17] Suck suck suck [00:10:17] For untimely dispersal over vast stretches of WATTS [00:10:27] Now it was about this time I think it was right outside of Columbus Ohio that billy got his notice to report for his induction physical [00:10:38] Now believe me Ethel said she wasn't gonna let him go [00:10:41] I'm not gonna let you go billy [00:10:44] And george putnam the right wing creepo fascist pig newscaster from los angeles said [00:10:50] Take it away george putnam [00:10:51] The right wing fascist radical creepo pig newscaster from los angeles [00:10:57] We now have confirmed reports from an informed orange county minister [00:11:02] That ethell is still an active communist [00:11:08] And it's this reporter's opinion that she also practices witch craft [00:11:19] It was about this time that the telephone rang in the secret briefcase [00:11:25] Belonging to the one mortal man [00:11:27] Who might be able to stop all of this senseless destruction and save 'america herself' [00:11:35] Now some men say he looked like [00:11:37] He looked like [00:11:37] Felix Pappalardi [00:11:39] Felix Pappalardi [00:11:41] Still others say [00:11:43] Others say [00:11:43] Bulls**t man [00:11:43] Bulls**t man [00:11:44] He was just born [00:11:45] He was born [00:11:46] Next to the frozen beef pies at Gristede's [00:11:47] Frozen beef pies [00:11:50] Still others say [00:11:51] Others say he was just another [00:11:52] Again he was just a crazy Italian [00:11:54] Crazy Italian [00:11:56] Who drove a red car [00:11:57] You see it was hard to tell [00:11:59] But nobody knows [00:11:59] Nobody knew for sure [00:12:00] For sure [00:12:01] He was so [00:12:01] So [00:12:02] Mysterious [00:12:03] Mysterious [00:12:04] Oh yes he was [00:12:06] He was so [00:12:08] He was so he was so [00:12:10] Mysterious [00:12:15] He was so [00:12:18] Mysterious [00:12:26] Cause when a person gets to be [00:12:28] Such a hero folks [00:12:30] And marvelous beyond compute [00:12:34] You can never really tell [00:12:35] About a guy like that [00:12:37] Whether he's really a nice person [00:12:39] Or if he just smiles a lot [00:12:41] What [00:12:41] Or if he has a son named 'pinocchio' [00:12:46] Or what [00:12:48] Whether he's really a nice person or if he has a son named 'pinocchio' or what [00:12:55] Some men say he could fly [00:12:56] Some men say he could swim [00:12:58] Others say he could sing [00:12:59] Like neil sedaka [00:13:00] And all the girls in flushing [00:13:01] Would be amazed of him [00:13:03] Two three [00:13:05] Amazed of him [00:13:10] Time passes [00:13:15] January February March July [00:13:21] Wednesday [00:13:21] August [00:13:22] Irwindale [00:13:23] 2:30 in the afternoon [00:13:24] Sunday Monday [00:13:24] Funny Cars [00:13:26] Walnut [00:13:26] Friday [00:13:26] City of Industry [00:13:27] Big John Mazamanian [00:13:37] So when the phone rang [00:13:40] In the secret briefcase [00:13:43] Thank you [00:13:44] A strong masculine hand [00:13:47] With a wristwatch [00:13:48] And flexy bracelet [00:13:52] Grabbed it [00:13:54] And answered [00:13:57] In a deep calmly assured voice： [00:14:02] Yes this is he what a mountain with a tree growing off of its shoulder [00:14:13] You're fulla s**t man what what uh are are you sure [00:14:18] Oh well alright let me write this down then sorta take a few notes here to new york [00:14:28] Causing untold destruction [00:14:33] My baby my baby my baby my baby oh [00:14:34] My baby my baby my baby my baby [00:14:35] My baby my baby [00:14:36] My baby my baby my baby [00:14:43] My baby my baby [00:14:44] My baby my baby my baby [00:14:48] Wanted for draft evasion [00:14:54] Can I can I fly there immediately and reason with him [00:15:00] An expense account and per diem too [00:15:08] Some men say he could dance [00:15:13] Yes he could dance [00:15:15] And here it is ladies and gentlemen [00:15:18] The studebaker hoch dancing lesson &cosmic prayer for guidance featuring aynsley dunbar [00:15:26] Twirly twirly twirly twirly twirly twirly twirly hey [00:15:33] Right hand from the heart uh [00:15:35] Professional [00:15:36] Left hand from the heart uh [00:15:38] Exquisite [00:15:40] Right hand from the heart uh [00:15:42] Homunculus [00:15:43] Left hand from the left shoulder [00:15:46] To the heart uh [00:15:48] Twirly twirly twirly twirly twirly twirly twirly twirly hey [00:15:55] There were a number of rumors circulating about studebaker hoch recently [00:16:02] Consider if you will the rumors that have spread that he could write [00:16:07] The lord's prayer on the head of a pin [00:16:11] Some men say he could write the lord's prayer [00:16:16] On the head of a [00:16:22] Head of a [00:16:25] Head of a pin [00:16:27] Three dog night [00:16:39] Yeah [00:16:48] Other still maintain the fact [00:17:00] Good god [00:17:06] He was born next to the frozen beef pies [00:17:15] And that was the main influence on him [00:17:28] Boldly springing into action he phoned his wife [00:17:32] Who ran a modeling school [00:17:34] Whereupon she he ran around the back of 'gimbel's' [00:17:40] To see if he could find some big un used cardboard boxes [00:17:46] After which he hit up gristede's for some 'kaiser broiler foil' [00:17:52] Some 'aunt jemima syrup' and a pair of blunt scissors hey hey [00:17:58] Yes and in the parking lot across the street from the [00:18:01] One fifth avenue hotel [00:18:03] In between a pair of customized trucks where nobody was looking [00:18:07] He cut out a pair of really really nice wings and he covered 'em thoroughly with foil [00:18:14] Thoroughly with foil thoroughly with foil [00:18:20] Thoroughly with foil [00:18:21] Thorougly with foil [00:18:26] Thoroughly with foil [00:18:36] Thoroughly with with foil [00:18:46] Then he took those 'wings' [00:18:48] And wedged one under each of his powerful arms and sneaked into a telephone booth [00:19:00] He closed the door and he pulled down his gray denim bus driver type pants [00:19:07] And he spread even amounts of aunt jemima syrup all over the inside of his legs [00:19:11] Right underneath his boxer pretty shorts ha ha ha [00:19:18] Soon the booth was filling with flies [00:19:21] Help me help me help me [00:19:25] He held open the legs of his boxer shorts so they could all get in [00:19:30] Yes and when each and every one of those little [00:19:34] Each and every one of those little cocksuckin' flies had gone into his boxer shorts 404

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