[00:00:29] Straight down the parkway follow your nose [00:00:33] To a place where nobody wants to go [00:00:36] It's a fare and a half they're having a larf [00:00:40] Everybody's broken or they're a dwarf [00:00:47] Pierrot mirror on the wall who is the ace est of them all [00:00:52] The catcliffe girl who gets out before her 18th birthday [00:00:57] There's a little old man by the side of the road [00:01:01] Just where he came from nobody knows [00:01:04] He's so picturesque a physical wreck [00:01:08] A dirty old bloke with no self respect [00:01:11] Ow [00:01:12] Oh god [00:01:13] You'd better leave town [00:01:15] Before you get caught in the catcliffe shakedown [00:01:18] Yeah [00:01:19] [00:01:25] It's a step to the left a step to the right [00:01:29] You do the catcliffe Shakedown with all of your might [00:01:32] Oh baby shakedown [00:01:39] Pudgy 12 year olds in Union Jack shorts addicted to [00:01:43] Coffee whitener and frankfurters [00:01:46] And those boys who said Hey mister we just want your car [00:01:50] Cause we're taking a girl to the reservoir are outside the pub [00:01:54] Fine figures of men exercising and dieting just doesn't suit them [00:01:59] Have a meal in a glass [00:02:01] We're having a laugh [00:02:03] Just come over here and your face we will smash [00:02:06] Oh [00:02:07] Oh god [00:02:08] You'd better leave town [00:02:10] Before you get caught in the catcliffe shakedown [00:02:13] Yeah [00:02:15] Shakedown [00:02:16] Shakedown [00:02:18] Shakedown [00:02:20] Oh no it's not that bad really [00:02:25] Not if you've been living in Bosnia for the last year [00:02:29] Home brew is still big news round these parts [00:02:32] No airing cupboard should be without it [00:02:36] They were going to open an airport can you imagine it [00:02:39] Whilst in the area why not stock up [00:02:42] On string or try some of our duty free Parkin [00:02:45] Oh yeah [00:02:48] Let's go [00:02:50] See the rainbow high above the viaduct [00:02:56] Glowing with all the colours of a bottle of spilt milk [00:03:04] Oh it's so beautiful but I don't know what it means [00:03:11] Oh rainbow high above what exactly are you advertising [00:03:20] And our idea of sophisticated humour is setting fire [00:03:24] To our farts with disposable lighters [00:03:29] Why not try our delicious lager [00:03:31] Style drink with a chocolate flavoured candy covered biscuit [00:03:35] Look at those buttercups over there mummy [00:03:37] Hold one under your chin [00:03:39] What's butter mummy [00:03:40] Oh it's just a different make of margarine [00:03:47] See the rainbow high above the viaduct [00:03:53] Glowing with all the colours of a bottle of spilt milk [00:04:01] Oh it's so beautiful but I don't know what it means [00:04:08] Oh rainbow high above what exactly are you advertising [00:04:18] The film now cuts to reveal who is watching this docudrama [00:04:22] A middle class couple sit in wonder as the titles roll [00:04:28] All nicotine stains and beer bellies in this programme were real [00:04:31] [00:04:38] But upstairs in his room [00:04:40] Amongst the airfix planes is a small boy [00:04:46] He sits in the dark [00:04:49] Listening for the sound of the train that crosses [00:04:52] The viaduct at four o'clock every morning [00:04:56] The train that carries the dismembered remains [00:05:03] The dismembered remains of matchstick matchstick cats and dogs [00:05:11] And it's coming and it's coming coming [00:05:16] Oh yeah [00:05:20] What you looking at [00:05:22] I don't know label's fell off [00:05:24] I'm going aht [00:05:29] Am I so beautiful you can't stop looking at me [00:05:32] Am I so beautiful [00:05:35] You don't scare me [00:05:38] I'll take you all on [00:05:42] You and whose army [00:05:46] Me me and my fisty [00:05:52] Catcliffe you don't intimidate me [00:05:54] Your Parkway and your shopping centre [00:05:57] Your Panda Pops and pottery [00:06:00] Your motorway junction [00:06:02] Overwhelming stench of failure 404

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