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[00:00:01] 鲁达
[00:00:03] 在五台山
[00:00:04] 文殊院
[00:00:06] 落发为僧
[00:00:10] 把脑瓜剃了个倍儿亮
[00:00:14] 掌刀的刚要给他刮胡子
[00:00:18] 他不干了
[00:00:20] 从那儿一跃而起呀
[00:00:23] 呃
[00:00:23] 等等等等等等
[00:00:26] 我说咱商量商量
[00:00:27] 怎么样
[00:00:29] 哀家最喜欢胡须
[00:00:33] 这玩意给我留着
[00:00:35] 没事儿
[00:00:37] 我捋一捋
[00:00:38] 觉着心里头痛快
[00:00:42] 在山上出家的僧人谁听过这种词儿啊
[00:00:48] 大伙儿一听
[00:00:49] 哄堂大笑
[00:00:53] 至真长老把脸往下一沉
[00:00:57] 哗楞楞楞楞楞
[00:01:00] 一晃掌中的金鼎九连环
[00:01:04] 锁匠
[00:01:06] 父亲
[00:01:09] 然后他对鲁达说
[00:01:12] 汝听着
[00:01:15] 寸草不留
[00:01:18] 六根清净
[00:01:22] 与汝剔除
[00:01:24] 免得争经
[00:01:28] T
[00:01:30] 是是是
[00:01:31] 唰一刀胡子剃下去了
[00:01:35] 鲁达一摸着下巴颏和腮帮
[00:01:38] 呵
[00:01:39] 觉着这个别扭啊
[00:01:42] 没办法
[00:01:43] 在这儿就得听人家的
[00:01:47] 剃完了之后还不算
[00:01:50] 尖刺
[00:01:52] 把他引到禅床的旁边
[00:01:55] 让他跪到智真长老的脚下
[00:02:00] 有真长老给他磨柄受祭
[00:02:06] 用手摸着他的天灵盖
[00:02:09] 似唱非唱
[00:02:12] 似讲非讲
[00:02:15] 老当家的微闭二目
[00:02:18] 声音洪亮
[00:02:22] 汝记着
[00:02:24] 出家之人
[00:02:26] 讲的是三归五戒
[00:02:32] 三规者
[00:02:34] 一要皈依佛性
[00:02:38] 二要皈奉正法
[00:02:42] 三要皈敬师友
[00:02:47] 汝知否
[00:02:50] 鲁达呀
[00:02:52] 也听明白了
[00:02:53] 不知道怎么回答
[00:02:55] 诶
[00:02:56] 哀家啊
[00:02:58] 听清了
[00:02:59] 哗
[00:03:00] 人们又乐了
[00:03:03] 心说什么词儿啊
[00:03:05] 什么叫筛家呀
[00:03:08] 你就说弟子知道了
[00:03:10] 那就得了呗
[00:03:13] 长老又把九连环晃动了一下
[00:03:18] 然后众人才鸦雀无声
[00:03:22] 真长老
[00:03:23] 接着往下说
[00:03:26] 五戒者
[00:03:29] 一不要杀生害命
[00:03:34] 二不要偷盗摸取
[00:03:38] 三不要奸盗邪淫
[00:03:43] 四不要贪酒十荤
[00:03:46] 五不要胡言妄语
[00:03:52] 若知否
[00:03:55] 嗯
[00:03:56] 我听明白了
[00:03:57] 听明白了
[00:03:59] 要牢牢记住
[00:04:02] 是
[00:04:04] 这阵首座过来了
[00:04:08] 往上奉献衣钵戒谍
[00:04:12] 哎
[00:04:13] 就是那度牒
[00:04:16] 度牒是什么呢
[00:04:17] 就是和尚的证明
[00:04:20] 你光穿上和尚的衣服
[00:04:23] 那不行
[00:04:24] 得让老方丈给起个法名
[00:04:29] 老方丈寻思了片刻
[00:04:33] 这样吧
[00:04:35] 从今之后
[00:04:37] 你的法号就叫智深
[00:04:44] 赵员外一听
[00:04:46] 给他提醒
[00:04:47] 还不叩头谢老师赠法号之恩诶
[00:04:53] 多谢方丈
[00:04:55] 多谢师傅
[00:04:58] 从这开始
[00:05:00] 鲁达就叫鲁智深
[00:05:05] 你这名是他的法号
[00:05:09] 然后又举行法事
[00:05:13] 哎呀
[00:05:14] 鲁智深心说
[00:05:16] 感情吃哪行饭也不容易
[00:05:20] 过去我没接触过和尚
[00:05:23] 不懂得这里的规矩
[00:05:26] 感情这里边儿
[00:05:27] 这事儿
[00:05:27] 老了
[00:05:29] 有些事儿
[00:05:31] 让人啼笑皆非
[00:05:34] 忙活了两个时辰
[00:05:37] 收弟子的仪式这才结束
[00:05:41] 然后有监寺
[00:05:43] 把他领下去
[00:05:45] 沐浴
[00:05:46] 更衣
[00:05:47] 脑袋也剃了
[00:05:49] 衣服得换呢
[00:05:51] 俗家的衣服不行
[00:05:52] 从里往外
[00:05:55] 这回鲁智深
[00:05:57] 里边是灰布僧衣
[00:06:00] 胖袜云履
[00:06:03] 外边披着袈裟
[00:06:05] 嗯
[00:06:06] 他把俩胳膊竖起来看了看
[00:06:09] 嗯
[00:06:09] 这玩意儿不错呀
[00:06:10] 穿着挺得劲
[00:06:13] 二次回来
[00:06:14] 拜见老师
[00:06:16] 接下来赐斋饭
[00:06:20] 从这开始不兴动荤腥了
[00:06:23] 嗯
[00:06:25] 都得吃素的
[00:06:28] 可赵员外一看
[00:06:30] 一切就绪
[00:06:31] 安排妥帖了
[00:06:34] 家里头一大堆事儿
[00:06:36] 不能再久留了
[00:06:38] 这才提出向老方丈辞行
[00:06:43] 老方丈也是恋恋不舍
[00:06:46] 一看去意已决
[00:06:48] 也不便挽留了
[00:06:50] 临行之时啊
[00:06:52] 赵员外跟老方丈说
[00:06:55] 老当家的
[00:06:56] 我这个表弟
[00:06:58] 军汉出身
[00:07:00] 性情粗暴
[00:07:02] 初入佛门
[00:07:04] 不懂得规矩
[00:07:06] 万一有个闪失
[00:07:09] 万望老人家高抬贵手
[00:07:12] 看在我薄面之上
[00:07:15] 多加原谅
[00:07:17] 老和尚点点头
[00:07:20] 檀越尽管放心
[00:07:22] 老僧知道
[00:07:25] 这赵员外真是场面人儿
[00:07:28] 比方说给首座监寺都寺之客书记
[00:07:34] 这
[00:07:34] 这都是当头的和尚
[00:07:36] 每人都送了一份礼物
[00:07:39] 让他们关照鲁达
[00:07:41] 鲁智深
[00:07:44] 交代完了
[00:07:45] 又把鲁智深叫到没人的地方
[00:07:49] 压低了声音
[00:07:51] 恩公
[00:07:52] 我要走了
[00:07:54] 我最不放心的
[00:07:57] 就是您的脾气
[00:07:59] 秉性啊
[00:08:00] 您跟过去不一样了
[00:08:03] 现在是佛门弟子
[00:08:05] 理应谨守三宝的佛规呀
[00:08:10] 你放心
[00:08:12] 虽然我不在文殊院
[00:08:15] 春夏秋冬四季的衣服
[00:08:18] 你的零花钱
[00:08:20] 你的一切一切全包在我身上
[00:08:24] 如果我有空就来看你
[00:08:27] 你有哪些困难
[00:08:29] 尽管命人去给我捎信儿
[00:08:33] 哎呀
[00:08:34] 好心人呢
[00:08:36] 我这就感恩不尽呢
[00:08:39] 你放心
[00:08:40] 山下从此往后变成另外一个人了
[00:08:46] 一定谨守佛门的规矩也就是了
[00:08:50] 诶那就好那就好
[00:08:52] 那保重吧
[00:08:54] 我告辞了
[00:08:56] 哎呀
[00:08:57] 临行之时
[00:08:58] 鲁智深把他送到山门外
[00:09:01] 眼含痛泪
[00:09:03] 挥手告别
[00:09:05] 赵员外坐上轿子
[00:09:07] 带着仆人们走了
[00:09:10] 鲁智深回到文殊院
[00:09:14] 有知客的和尚领着他前院后院转悠转悠
[00:09:20] 你得熟悉熟悉环境啊
[00:09:23] 哪是大雄宝殿
[00:09:25] 哪是三世佛殿
[00:09:28] 哪是观音殿
[00:09:30] 哪是地藏殿
[00:09:33] 还有什么念经的经堂啊
[00:09:37] 甚至吃饭的伙房
[00:09:40] 厕所都交代的清清楚楚
[00:09:44] 最后把他领到文殊院紧后边这层院子
[00:09:50] 这院里还栽着不少的树木
[00:09:54] 环境清幽啊
[00:09:56] 一拉溜有十间房子
[00:09:59] 推门进去一看呢
[00:10:02] 这里边儿有1 00多和尚
[00:10:05] 正在这
[00:10:07] 五心朝天
[00:10:08] 闭目养神
[00:10:10] 练习打坐的功夫
[00:10:15] 原来刚入文殊院
[00:10:18] 这第一步的功课就得在这儿完成
[00:10:21] 你
[00:10:22] 和尚
[00:10:23] 必须得做
[00:10:25] 这个做工可要命啊
[00:10:29] 这就是佛门所说的禅功
[00:10:33] 也叫坐禅
[00:10:35] 一般的人腿发硬要不会盘腿可要了命了
[00:10:41] 比上刑都难受
[00:10:45] 堂头僧
[00:10:46] 赶紧迎接
[00:10:48] 监寺
[00:10:49] 告诉给他找个床位
[00:10:52] 能没有空地方吗
[00:10:54] 就这样给他加了一张床
[00:10:56] 放了一个蒲团
[00:10:58] 监寺
[00:10:59] 告诉他
[00:11:00] 智深呢
[00:11:01] 从今以后
[00:11:03] 你就在这块做工
[00:11:07] 所用的东西都放在床下
[00:11:10] 有什么事要请示堂头僧大师兄
[00:11:15] 他不答应的事儿不准你办
[00:11:18] 诶
[00:11:19] 山家明白了
[00:11:22] 等一切的事儿过后
[00:11:24] 到了晚上
[00:11:26] 鲁智深就感觉到腰酸腿疼
[00:11:30] 脑袋嗡嗡直响啊
[00:11:34] 心说这个麻烦都要把我抖了
[00:11:37] 散架子了
[00:11:39] 好好的睡他一觉
[00:11:42] 人家都在那坐着打禅练做功
[00:11:46] 他可好
[00:11:47] 把僧鞋脱了
[00:11:49] 仰面朝天往床上一弹
[00:11:52] 哎哟哎哎诶
[00:11:55] 好啊
[00:11:56] 水呀
[00:11:59] 堂头僧一看
[00:12:01] 像话吗
[00:12:02] 哪有出家人
[00:12:04] 呃
[00:12:05] 四脚朝天往这儿一躺
[00:12:08] 唐头僧赶紧过来了
[00:12:10] 阿弥陀佛
[00:12:12] 置身不可
[00:12:14] 坐起来
[00:12:16] 打禅得练坐功
[00:12:18] 你没看见吗
[00:12:20] 都在这儿坐着呢
[00:12:22] 哀家困了
[00:12:24] 我要睡觉不行
[00:12:27] 要想睡觉也得坐着睡
[00:12:29] 别人什么样你什么样
[00:12:32] 鲁智深把眼睛一瞪
[00:12:34] 胡说
[00:12:36] 我今儿个特别难受
[00:12:38] 我就是想躺着睡觉
[00:12:40] 我不懂你们这儿的规矩
[00:12:44] 说完
[00:12:45] 他不理堂头僧了
[00:12:47] 把头一歪
[00:12:49] 时间不大是鼻息如雷
[00:12:52] 呀呼呼的
[00:12:53] 他睡了
[00:12:55] 那100多和尚瞅瞅他
[00:12:58] 直咧嘴
[00:12:59] 心说
[00:13:00] 怎么收了这么个野鸟啊
[00:13:02] 这是什么玩意儿
[00:13:05] 由他在这一带头
[00:13:07] 整个这屋不就乱套了吗
[00:13:10] 可大伙儿敢怒而不敢言
[00:13:14] 第二天呢
[00:13:15] 堂头僧把这事儿竟禀报首座了
[00:13:20] 首座是文殊院的二把手
[00:13:23] 仅次于老方丈至臻呢
[00:13:27] 不敢跟长老说
[00:13:29] 跟首座说
[00:13:30] 这鲁智深什么玩意儿
[00:13:32] 头一天就破坏佛门的规矩
[00:13:35] 躺着睡觉
[00:13:38] 首座晃晃脑袋算了
[00:13:42] 你还不知道吗
[00:13:44] 他是老方丈的红人
[00:13:48] 当家的对他格外的偏爱
[00:13:53] 这鸡毛蒜皮的事儿就甭说了
[00:13:56] 他爱怎么地怎么地吧
[00:13:58] 打这儿之后
[00:14:00] 人家别人都练坐功
[00:14:03] 唯有他躺着睡觉
[00:14:06] 这鲁智深也太有点不拘小节了
[00:14:10] 你要合衣而卧
[00:14:12] 不影响旁人还行
[00:14:14] 这位不去热了
[00:14:16] 脱个走油蜡大光杆儿
[00:14:21] 让别人观之不雅呀
[00:14:24] 另外
[00:14:24] 不管什么时候
[00:14:26] 他起来是大扇大叫
[00:14:29] 大说大笑
[00:14:31] 走路的脚步也重
[00:14:34] 最使人讨厌的是
[00:14:37] 那厕所离着远
[00:14:40] 他有时候就不去
[00:14:41] 转到坐公堂后面
[00:14:44] 跑这儿便秘来
[00:14:47] 被人家发现之后啊
[00:14:49] 禀报首座
[00:14:50] 首座一看
[00:14:51] 这像话吗
[00:14:52] 这
[00:14:52] 这是清净禅林
[00:14:54] 哪有随便***尿尿的
[00:14:57] 禀报了老方丈
[00:14:59] 老方丈微微一皱眉
[00:15:02] 哎
[00:15:04] 他不懂清规
[00:15:07] 这也无需大惊小怪
[00:15:10] 他随便吧
[00:15:12] 你派两个小和尚给他收拾收拾不就得了吗
[00:15:16] 啊嘿
[00:15:18] 还带服侍大小便的
[00:15:22] 可老当家的说话
[00:15:24] 谁敢不听
[00:15:26] 诶这鲁智深随便
[00:15:29] 书说简短
[00:15:30] 光阴似箭
[00:15:32] 日月如梭
[00:15:35] 到入冬的季节了
[00:15:37] 这天一天比一天冷啊
[00:15:40] 鲁智深实在觉得太枯燥太烦闷了
[00:15:48] 这一天
[00:15:49] 吃完了饭
[00:15:50] 他出了山门
[00:15:52] 登高眺望五台山的景致
[00:15:57] 他一看呢
[00:15:58] 树叶都落了
[00:16:00] 寺外也是一片荒凉
[00:16:04] 不由得心里头一阵的难过
[00:16:08] 哎
[00:16:09] 向我
[00:16:11] 鲁达
[00:16:12] 乃是提辖官呢
[00:16:16] 只因打死人命
[00:16:18] 逃门在外
[00:16:20] 直落成这般模样
[00:16:23] 人不人鬼不鬼
[00:16:26] 纯属是个怪物
[00:16:29] 我怎么能出家呢
[00:16:31] 受这号窝囊气
[00:16:34] 好在呢
[00:16:35] 老方丈对我格外的开恩
[00:16:40] 有些事儿啊
[00:16:41] 只要发现是我干的
[00:16:44] 也就算过去了
[00:16:46] 这老师还不错
[00:16:49] 但有一样不让开荤
[00:16:52] 净吃素
[00:16:55] 这玩意儿真叫人受不了
[00:16:58] 这吃素哪有吃肉香
[00:17:01] 嗯
[00:17:02] 就拿我来说吧
[00:17:04] 多少年来
[00:17:05] 大碗喝酒
[00:17:07] 大口吃肉
[00:17:08] 冷不丁的楞不叫吃
[00:17:11] 谁受得了啊
[00:17:14] 前些时
[00:17:15] 赵员外偷偷摸摸的
[00:17:18] 还给我送点儿荤腥
[00:17:20] 最近能有半个多月没给我送吃的了
[00:17:25] 简直
[00:17:26] 我这身上都冒清水了都
[00:17:29] 哎
[00:17:31] 太馋了
[00:17:34] 他胡思乱想
[00:17:36] 一看
[00:17:37] 山门外半山腰有一座八角凉亭
[00:17:43] 他上山那会儿
[00:17:44] 还在这凉亭休息过
[00:17:47] 就这样的信步走进凉亭
[00:17:51] 往石墩上一坐
[00:17:54] 抱着磕膝盖
[00:17:55] 胡思乱想
[00:17:57] 嗨
[00:17:57] 您说巧不巧
[00:17:59] 正这时候
[00:18:01] 有一个送酒的人唱着山歌而来
[00:18:08] 鲁智深呢
[00:18:09] 这鼻子也好使唤
[00:18:10] 离着多远
[00:18:12] 他就闻着这酒香了
[00:18:14] 赶紧把眼睛睁开了
[00:18:17] 一看这小伙啊
[00:18:19] 能有二十七八岁
[00:18:21] 挑着挑
[00:18:22] 前后俩坛子都封着
[00:18:26] 腰里头系着围裙
[00:18:29] 可能经常上山
[00:18:31] 箭步如飞
[00:18:34] 这挑子
[00:18:35] 合山合山合山
[00:18:36] 嘎吱嘎吱嘎吱嘎吱
[00:18:38] 还带点的
[00:18:40] 这小伙儿一边唱着
[00:18:42] 一边奔文殊院
[00:18:44] 哎呀
[00:18:47] 鲁智深一看是心花怒放
[00:18:50] 他赶紧站起来了
[00:18:52] 施主诶
[00:18:54] 卖酒的
[00:18:55] 你过来
[00:18:56] 你过来
[00:18:57] 其实他不叫这个人
[00:18:59] 也得上凉亭来歇歇腿儿
[00:19:03] 何况叫他呢
[00:19:05] 这小伙把这酒挑啊
[00:19:07] 就挑进凉亭
[00:19:09] 往旁边一放
[00:19:11] 师傅
[00:19:11] 什么事
[00:19:14] 我说你这里边儿装的是什么好酒
[00:19:20] 嘿
[00:19:21] 想什么来什么
[00:19:24] 卖给我一坛子
[00:19:25] 怎么样
[00:19:26] 这小伙上下打量打量鲁智深
[00:19:31] 我说
[00:19:32] 师傅
[00:19:33] 你不是说梦话吗
[00:19:36] 要不你就是没睡醒撒
[00:19:38] 腻称吧
[00:19:40] 你既是五台山文殊院的和尚
[00:19:43] 你就应该懂这儿的规矩
[00:19:47] 连我这不是出家人
[00:19:49] 我全都懂啊
[00:19:51] 这第四届就是不要贪酒开荤呢
[00:19:57] 您怎么要犯清规呀
[00:19:59] 再者一说了
[00:20:01] 我们这卖酒的都归文殊院管
[00:20:05] 住的是文殊院的房子
[00:20:08] 种的是文殊院的地
[00:20:09] 连我们做小买卖都使的是文殊院的本钱
[00:20:15] 甄长老一再交代
[00:20:19] 这酒绝不能给和尚喝
[00:20:22] 如果我们偷着卖给和尚
[00:20:25] 就要收回我们的房子地
[00:20:28] 还要把我们送到官府治罪
[00:20:31] 饭碗子就砸了
[00:20:34] 我说大和尚
[00:20:35] 你这不没事儿拿我寻开心吗
[00:20:38] 你是诚心试验试验我怎么的
[00:20:42] 哎呀
[00:20:43] 我说这位大哥
[00:20:45] 我是诚心实意
[00:20:48] 老实跟你说
[00:20:50] 我出家不久
[00:20:51] 我就喜欢喝酒啊
[00:20:54] 这样吧
[00:20:55] 睁一眼闭着一眼
[00:20:57] 你行个方便
[00:20:59] 卖给我一坛子
[00:21:00] 要多少钱我给多少钱
[00:21:02] 不是不是
[00:21:03] 不不不不行不行不行
[00:21:05] 你
[00:21:05] 你就给我万两黄金
[00:21:08] 我也不能砸我的饭碗
[00:21:10] 我我走了
[00:21:11] 我走了
[00:21:13] 这位说着话
[00:21:14] 挑起挑来
[00:21:15] 转身要走
[00:21:16] 鲁智深能放他走吗
[00:21:18] 一伸手把那挑子绳子攥住了
[00:21:22] 说什么他也不撒开
[00:21:24] 这小伙子也走不了了
[00:21:26] 鲁智深嬉皮笑脸
[00:21:29] 我大哥
[00:21:31] 卖给我一坛子得了呗
[00:21:33] 你知我知
[00:21:35] 别人谁知道
[00:21:36] 不行不行
[00:21:37] 你说死我也不能干
[00:21:40] 那我且问你
[00:21:42] 你既然这酒不卖
[00:21:44] 又不准和尚喝酒
[00:21:46] 你
[00:21:47] 你
[00:21:47] 你给谁送去
[00:21:49] 那文殊院有谁能喝这两坛子酒
[00:21:53] 哎呀
[00:21:54] 我和尚你真不明白
[00:21:57] 你还没看见吗
[00:21:58] 文殊院里不光是和尚啊
[00:22:01] 还有不少打杂的俗家呢
[00:22:04] 你家俗家可以喝呀
[00:22:07] 我这是卖给他们的
[00:22:09] 他们能喝我就能喝
[00:22:12] 俩人争来争去
[00:22:14] 鲁智深这火爆的脾气
[00:22:16] 上来啊
[00:22:17] 啪一巴掌
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