[00:00:00] 本字幕由腾讯音乐天琴实验室独家AI字幕技术生成
[00:00:04] 搞他下去先做一个自我介绍
[00:00:08] 太好了
[00:00:08] 我叫岳云鹏
[00:00:09] 是您是一个小学生
[00:00:11] 您克他们都喊我叫爱称
[00:00:13] 叫小月月
[00:00:14] 我具体是怎么回事儿我也不知道
[00:00:17] 哎
[00:00:17] 反正我觉得挺好的一个名字
[00:00:19] 反正挺肉头儿的a 小月月啊
[00:00:23] 他叫小森森
[00:00:24] 哎
[00:00:24] 这这这啊
[00:00:26] 宝贝儿还小是怎么着啊
[00:00:28] 孙啊孙没有
[00:00:30] 他叫孙越
[00:00:31] 孙老师
[00:00:32] 您老师捧哏呢
[00:00:33] 嗯
[00:00:33] 一直处于捧哏的状态
[00:00:35] 往桌子里头一站
[00:00:37] 把这个肚子放桌子上
[00:00:38] 把它稍微的舒服一些
[00:00:40] 你等一下啊
[00:00:41] 岳老师
[00:00:42] 他要是斗的话
[00:00:43] 且慢且慢
[00:00:44] 站在这儿容易猝死
[00:00:49] 你没日子说了干什么
[00:00:54] 干嘛呀
[00:01:00] 你别动啊
[00:01:02] 你催我也不动啊
[00:01:04] 干嘛我我找大象去找什么
[00:01:08] 你不怕有活力
[00:01:09] 这讨厌
[00:01:10] 你甭废话啊
[00:01:11] 您这胡说什么呢
[00:01:12] 胡庆
[00:01:12] 没有胡琴呢
[00:01:13] 谁把肚子放桌子上
[00:01:15] 告诉你
[00:01:16] 你哪只眼睛看见的
[00:01:18] 你不要动啊
[00:01:19] 我不动怎么啦
[00:01:20] 不要动
[00:01:20] 大伙儿可以看一看什么呀
[00:01:23] 哎
[00:01:25] 是不是在桌子上呢
[00:01:26] 没在啊
[00:01:27] 别动手
[00:01:28] 反正太胖了
[00:01:28] 你别说这她的肚子当然了也有好处的
[00:01:33] 肚子大还有好处
[00:01:34] 有好处怎么样
[00:01:35] 半夜睡觉冷啦呀
[00:01:37] 怎么冷了呢
[00:01:38] 把这个肚皮往上一瞪
[00:01:39] 走
[00:01:39] 你这就盖上了a
[00:01:45] 天然的被子就有这
[00:01:47] 我这肚皮是王八盖子是吧
[00:01:50] 不学没
[00:01:51] 没画王八有什么话的
[00:01:54] 嗯
[00:01:54] 啊
[00:01:55] 谁家肚子这么虚空啊
[00:01:56] 反正就是太酸
[00:01:58] 半夜他媳妇儿说了啦
[00:01:59] 风
[00:01:59] 我冷a 找你给他盖上了
[00:02:05] 这边再说一个也没关系
[00:02:06] 等你a 找你两片
[00:02:10] 反正是也有好处啊
[00:02:12] 有点儿好是不是
[00:02:13] 我一直很佩服她哦
[00:02:14] 您喜欢我
[00:02:15] 当然啦
[00:02:15] 大伙儿也喜欢相声啊
[00:02:16] 是啊
[00:02:17] 大伙儿都以为啊
[00:02:18] 这个相声啊是一门生意
[00:02:20] 生意
[00:02:21] 嗯
[00:02:22] 其实不对
[00:02:23] 那相声
[00:02:23] 我认为相声是一门手艺
[00:02:26] 怎么叫熟艺
[00:02:27] 脸熟是一宝哦
[00:02:29] 真的
[00:02:30] 咱俩走上台
[00:02:31] 大伙儿认识
[00:02:31] 咱们好一再来一个
[00:02:34] 大伙儿认识咱们俩熟
[00:02:36] 走到大街上
[00:02:36] 看见明星咱俩还聊聊几句呢
[00:02:39] 哦
[00:02:39] 看见明星也在聊天
[00:02:40] 诶
[00:02:40] 大哥大哥啊
[00:02:41] 看那谁骂谁呀
[00:02:43] 那个明星
[00:02:43] 明星奶奶是谁啊
[00:02:45] 再看这个明星
[00:02:46] 嗯
[00:02:48] 在这等着呢
[00:02:50] 这边儿大不了谁骂大哥谁呀
[00:02:53] 咱俩买水去吧
[00:02:54] a
[00:02:56] 没理人家想不起来了
[00:02:57] 但是
[00:02:57] 但是呢
[00:02:58] 脸熟哦
[00:02:59] 就是脸熟
[00:02:59] 对了
[00:03:00] 这是熟一熟一生意是什么呢
[00:03:03] 什么呀
[00:03:03] 生出一个主意来赚您的钱
[00:03:05] 这叫生意哦
[00:03:07] 这个是这个意思
[00:03:08] 嗯声又叫买卖
[00:03:10] 买卖
[00:03:10] 买卖分很多种
[00:03:11] 您说说
[00:03:12] 有让人的买卖
[00:03:13] 有不让人的买卖
[00:03:14] 还有气死三条人命的买卖
[00:03:16] 什么买卖啊
[00:03:17] 当铺
[00:03:18] 哦
[00:03:19] 过去那当铺
[00:03:20] 过去叫当铺哦
[00:03:21] 现在叫典当行
[00:03:22] 对对对啊
[00:03:23] 现在也有三方面
[00:03:25] 就有有几个叫典当行
[00:03:27] 嗯呃
[00:03:28] 具体是怎么回事儿呢
[00:03:29] 我给你讲一讲
[00:03:30] 好啊
[00:03:30] 过去有这么一个电视剧
[00:03:31] 叫做九九归一
[00:03:33] 老电视剧
[00:03:34] 讲究的就是当库里的故事
[00:03:36] 有的朋友说了
[00:03:37] 这个电视剧我没有看过
[00:03:38] 没有
[00:03:38] 没有关系
[00:03:39] 我来给你讲一讲是怎么回事儿
[00:03:41] 过去这个当铺掌柜的说人家东西不好哦
[00:03:44] 这也是他们这行的规矩哦
[00:03:45] 收到的规矩
[00:03:47] 对了哦
[00:03:47] 我对这个
[00:03:48] 特别的熟悉
[00:03:49] 是啊
[00:03:49] 就因为我们后台有有一只有一个演员
[00:03:53] 您说清楚了啊
[00:03:54] 来来
[00:03:55] 就说错了
[00:03:56] 有一个演员叫李文山
[00:03:59] 欧洲那个李老爷子
[00:04:00] 李文山的父亲李晓珊
[00:04:02] 李想当初就是一个无业游民
[00:04:05] 先等一下
[00:04:06] 他们家的都倒着排啊
[00:04:09] 怎么会大的牌呢
[00:04:10] 李文山的父亲叫李小三
[00:04:13] 里又删
[00:04:15] 这是孙子呀
[00:04:15] 这是李泰山这重孙子的
[00:04:18] 这个李珊珊
[00:04:19] 李珊珊的孙女儿的
[00:04:21] 这都是李老爷子
[00:04:22] a
[00:04:23] 李老爷子想当初是一个无业游民
[00:04:25] 想找一份工作
[00:04:27] 找来找去找来找去
[00:04:28] 找到一条当铺
[00:04:29] 哦
[00:04:30] 就跟这个经理说呀
[00:04:31] 嗯
[00:04:31] 经理
[00:04:32] 我想找一份工作
[00:04:33] 经理说了
[00:04:33] 你能干什么呀
[00:04:34] 能干什么呀
[00:04:35] 这里说了
[00:04:35] 我什么都行
[00:04:37] 什么都行
[00:04:38] 甭问呢
[00:04:38] 嗯
[00:04:39] 在别的当铺干过
[00:04:40] 不想在那儿干了
[00:04:41] 想上我们这儿干来
[00:04:43] 行吧
[00:04:43] 你啊呃
[00:04:44] 你看三贵吧
[00:04:46] 而且什么都行
[00:04:47] 就看三贵
[00:04:48] 他说的什么都行是什么意思呢
[00:04:50] 就是擦个桌子扫个地
[00:04:51] 这活碎活他能行
[00:04:53] 杂役啊
[00:04:54] 经理误会了
[00:04:55] 什么都行
[00:04:55] 那你看三贵吧
[00:04:56] 这三柜是什么意思
[00:04:57] 你看他有疑虑
[00:04:58] 嗯
[00:04:59] 三贵是什么意思啊
[00:05:01] 咱头等会儿等贵合
[00:05:02] 三等贵
[00:05:03] 这头等贵房契
[00:05:04] 特别值钱的东西
[00:05:05] 这是头等柜最大哦
[00:05:07] 二等贵
[00:05:07] 珍珠玛瑙
[00:05:08] 也是一些个特别值钱的东西
[00:05:10] 就二等贵气大戏软的没错
[00:05:12] 三等就是平常老百姓家里用的东西
[00:05:16] 三等贵
[00:05:17] 日用百货
[00:05:18] 对了
[00:05:18] 哦
[00:05:18] 你看三等贵吧
[00:05:20] 太好啦
[00:05:25] 嗯
[00:05:27] 等会儿
[00:05:28] 嗯
[00:05:28] 这老头儿什么毛病啊
[00:05:30] 这立马上任啦
[00:05:31] 这立马说话就变味儿了
[00:05:33] 上班了
[00:05:33] 哎哟
[00:05:34] 好
[00:05:34] 上班吧
[00:05:35] 上班儿挺高兴
[00:05:37] 弄个板凳往那一站
[00:05:38] 怎么用板凳柜台高啊
[00:05:40] 哦
[00:05:41] 他自己都看不着
[00:05:42] 对了
[00:05:42] 哦
[00:05:43] 那站he 弄一大烟袋
[00:05:44] 高兴啊
[00:05:45] 啊
[00:05:45] 挺好看
[00:05:46] 您还别说
[00:05:46] 嗯
[00:05:47] 没有不开张的油盐
[00:05:48] 有脏东西的真来了
[00:05:50] 当东西的来了
[00:05:51] 当的是什么呀什么呀
[00:05:53] 铙钹
[00:05:54] 脑补戏台上用的当东西
[00:05:56] 这位是唱戏的哦
[00:05:58] 戏班里出身
[00:05:59] 我就当那个小童砍
[00:06:00] 家里老母亲病了
[00:06:02] 急等着用钱把吃饭的家伙人家给当了蓝布包着包着
[00:06:07] 走过来一瞧
[00:06:07] 嚯
[00:06:08] 柜台怎么这么高啊
[00:06:09] 是啊
[00:06:10] 给他递上去
[00:06:11] 递上去吧
[00:06:13] 登记过呢
[00:06:15] D 货走
[00:06:17] 你a 他这个走
[00:06:18] 你跟你那个是一样的
[00:06:23] 人家这个是证明
[00:06:25] 但是数量是一样的
[00:06:28] 这位很高兴啊
[00:06:28] Le 来了
[00:06:29] 当东西了
[00:06:30] 没人当啊
[00:06:38] 好
[00:06:40] 这就是天生的
[00:06:41] 这仿佛特别高兴的样子
[00:06:43] 哎哟
[00:06:45] 打开这蓝布包
[00:06:48] 嗯
[00:06:49] 为什么呀
[00:06:51] 这是什么东西
[00:06:52] A
[00:06:53] 他不认识这个
[00:06:55] 不认识这个啊
[00:06:56] 认识这能活呢
[00:06:58] 你可都唱完当了
[00:06:59] 你怎么办啊
[00:06:59] 说的就是啊
[00:07:00] 说怎么办呢
[00:07:02] 他特别聪明
[00:07:03] 怎么聪明
[00:07:04] 他再问
[00:07:04] 再问一句啊
[00:07:06] 当多少干嘛
[00:07:07] 人家肯定得说下
[00:07:08] 他狠狠的往下压价
[00:07:10] 这位呢
[00:07:10] 肯定就不当了
[00:07:12] 拿起东西人家走了
[00:07:13] 我等下一位嫌便宜就不当
[00:07:16] 挺好的事情啊
[00:07:16] 好主意听当少多少钱呢
[00:07:27] 嗯
[00:07:27] 您
[00:07:28] 那您给写二十八二十买新的
[00:07:30] 这20 块钱
[00:07:31] 那红的啊
[00:07:32] 你写二十八二十干脆啊
[00:07:37] 怎么着
[00:07:37] 不要不要
[00:07:39] 不要的话
[00:07:40] 嗯
[00:07:41] 那您给多少钱呢
[00:07:42] 多少钱
[00:07:43] 五毛
[00:07:46] 20 块钱的东西你给五毛钱啊
[00:07:49] 是到了a 彤彤20 啊
[00:07:57] 毛蛋啊
[00:07:58] 对了
[00:07:59] 这等着用钱呢吗
[00:08:01] 这病多中啊
[00:08:01] 这得
[00:08:03] 嗯
[00:08:05] 你能否再说一遍
[00:08:08] 都不相信自己了
[00:08:10] 废什么话呀
[00:08:11] 嗯
[00:08:11] 我当了
[00:08:12] 当了
[00:08:13] 我急等着用钱
[00:08:14] 哎呦
[00:08:14] 快唱当妈最有难度的就是唱当是为什么呀
[00:08:18] 他的唱出这个东西是什么来
[00:08:20] A
[00:08:20] 说出名字来
[00:08:21] 旁边有一个血当的先生
[00:08:23] 呃
[00:08:24] 记录在那等着呢
[00:08:25] 嗯
[00:08:25] 年月日
[00:08:26] 什么东西人家都得记下来
[00:08:28] 当多少钱啊
[00:08:29] 写张老先生说了
[00:08:31] 唱吧
[00:08:32] 等着呢
[00:08:33] 准备好了
[00:08:35] 这身上冲洗成准备好了啊
[00:08:41] 这是什么呀
[00:08:42] 他很聪明的孩子
[00:08:43] 聪明
[00:08:44] 临时现编给编上来了
[00:08:45] 对了
[00:08:46] 这能编上编出一个名字来
[00:08:48] 哎哟
[00:08:49] 鞋怎么边准备好了
[00:08:54] 切骨短炮儿
[00:08:58] 救火用的铜草帽
[00:09:01] 一对儿红草帽
[00:09:08] 什么铜草帽
[00:09:09] 儿童草帽
[00:09:10] 嗯
[00:09:11] 是铜的呀
[00:09:12] 是草的呀
[00:09:15] 还救火用的
[00:09:16] 嗯
[00:09:17] 平常不能带吗
[00:09:19] 那
[00:09:19] 那肯定啊
[00:09:20] 哎呀
[00:09:21] 真有意思啊
[00:09:22] 同草帽
[00:09:23] 甭问他那边下刀子呢
[00:09:25] a high
[00:09:26] 那位顶着铜草帽救出来了
[00:09:28] A
[00:09:28] 还瞎解释啊
[00:09:29] 缺感冒儿童草帽
[00:09:31] 嗯
[00:09:31] 多少钱呢多少钱呢
[00:09:33] 五毛倒是也不会
[00:09:35] 刷刷点点
[00:09:36] 写完了
[00:09:36] 撕下来递过去
[00:09:38] 这位接过来
[00:09:39] 他心里也琢磨了
[00:09:40] 当东西呢
[00:09:43] 虫草吗
[00:09:44] 啊
[00:09:46] 还救火用的啊
[00:09:47] 这样我活着几十年
[00:09:50] 我都冤得慌啊
[00:09:51] 您冤什么呀
[00:09:52] 我就过火呀
[00:09:54] 我没带过他呀
[00:09:57] 你要带过您活不了几十年知道吗
[00:09:59] 烫也烫死了是不是啊
[00:10:02] 统统冒
[00:10:03] 哎哟
[00:10:04] 到底是铜的是草的呀
[00:10:06] 还有这个疑问呢
[00:10:07] 拿我们开心是不是
[00:10:09] 哎呀
[00:10:10] 真有意思
[00:10:11] 你拿穷人开心啊
[00:10:13] 拿去当片儿
[00:10:13] 换了五毛钱啊
[00:10:14] 走了
[00:10:15] 抓药
[00:10:16] 第二天这位又来了
[00:10:18] 怎么又来了五毛钱不够用的不够要
[00:10:21] 就当东西适适当的是单皮
[00:10:24] 单皮鼓也是细长用的a
[00:10:26] 他大舅不为的蛇皮
[00:10:28] 对了
[00:10:29] 抱着可就过来了
[00:10:30] 往那儿一瞧
[00:10:31] 嗯
[00:10:32] 不是你这什么意思
[00:10:34] 我找同草帽跟这位李爷较上劲了
[00:10:39] 李老爷子过来了
[00:10:40] 嗯嗯
[00:10:44] 怎么又是你这还不错
[00:10:48] 桥这个
[00:10:49] 桥这个吧
[00:10:51] 又递上去了
[00:10:52] 递上去了啊
[00:10:53] 这位小心翼翼的打开
[00:10:55] 嗯
[00:10:55] 还是蓝布包
[00:10:57] 翻屁股
[00:10:58] 还是不认识
[00:10:59] 这
[00:11:00] 这里老爷子没听过细
[00:11:02] 怎么办啊
[00:11:04] 按照昨天的方法来压价
[00:11:05] 狠狠的往下压价哦
[00:11:07] 看他还当不当
[00:11:08] 试试当了
[00:11:16] 二十二十二十二十
[00:11:19] 干脆怎么着吧
[00:11:21] 不要多少
[00:11:23] 那您给多少钱呢
[00:11:30] 四毛七分五
[00:11:33] 你们逮不着你们啊
[00:11:36] 四毛七分五
[00:11:38] 昨儿还五毛的吗
[00:11:39] 都没他们
[00:11:40] 嗯
[00:11:45] 到了
[00:11:48] 你要死吧
[00:11:49] 你这叫什么话
[00:11:52] 这怎么说话呢呢
[00:11:53] 到了什么
[00:11:54] 人家是买卖死铁档
[00:11:59] 准备好了
[00:12:00] 准备好了
[00:12:01] 今天是什么呀
[00:12:03] 哎呀
[00:12:04] 昨天太有意思了
[00:12:05] 诶
[00:12:06] 这边上瘾了
[00:12:07] 嗯
[00:12:09] 疼
[00:12:09] 草帽
[00:12:11] 你这人真幽默
[00:12:12] 这是幽默吗
[00:12:13] 你
[00:12:14] 你说相声的吧
[00:12:14] 你这别说
[00:12:15] 这他儿子说相声的时候快快快啊
[00:12:18] 什么
[00:12:19] 嗯
[00:12:20] 写写啊
[00:12:22] 怎么办
[00:12:23] 嗯
[00:12:23] 现编呢
[00:12:24] 还得现编岁暮团
[00:12:26] 就水木丁的拼凑旅行用的小皮洗脸盆一个
[00:12:38] 小皮鞋的门
[00:12:42] 什么小皮鞋脸盆
[00:12:45] 小皮洗脸盆
[00:12:47] 嗯
[00:12:48] 还旅行用的
[00:12:51] 就是这么说的啊
[00:12:52] 在家不能用吗
[00:12:53] 嗯
[00:12:54] 应该吧
[00:12:55] 皮洗脸盆儿能洗脸吗
[00:12:58] 洗完臭不想啦
[00:13:00] 哎呀
[00:13:00] 你太有意思啦
[00:13:02] 哎呀哎
[00:13:03] 你明天歇班儿吗
[00:13:04] 什么意思
[00:13:05] 你歇班我也歇班儿了
[00:13:08] 我就要跟你在一起上班
[00:13:09] 哎呀
[00:13:11] 我觉得没你我活不下去
[00:13:12] 有诱惑
[00:13:14] 哎呀
[00:13:15] 你太有意思了
[00:13:17] 他的小皮鞋脸盆
[00:13:20] 你等着啊
[00:13:21] 我现在就找东西啊
[00:13:24] 这等不得了
[00:13:25] 这个对她这个当时就回家找东西去了
[00:13:29] 是啊
[00:13:29] 找来找去找来找去
[00:13:31] 找到一个冒进
[00:13:32] 冒进过去有
[00:13:33] 现在不多见
[00:13:34] 老式的也是水银面的
[00:13:36] 现在的境况里头打后边看是木头
[00:13:39] 对打这边看是个镜子
[00:13:40] A 报道可就过来了
[00:13:42] 是吗
[00:13:42] 啊
[00:13:43] 投三次
[00:13:43] 来的时候还没有这么高兴
[00:13:45] 这回唱着歌就来了
[00:13:46] 哎呀哎呀
[00:13:50] 你这有新名字啦
[00:13:53] 跟孩子似的
[00:13:54] 我心情十分的愉悦
[00:13:56] 哎呀呀
[00:13:56] 听不懂
[00:13:57] 嗯
[00:13:57] 快一会就下班啦
[00:13:59] 哎呀
[00:13:59] 嗨
[00:14:01] 这还赶点儿呢啊
[00:14:04] 爸爸就过来了
[00:14:04] 嗯
[00:14:05] 完了一看
[00:14:06] 不是你
[00:14:07] 不是我
[00:14:07] 找同城
[00:14:08] 慢点儿
[00:14:09] 小皮洗脸盆
[00:14:10] 柘林老爷子送到里边儿吃饭呢
[00:14:14] 哦
[00:14:14] 吃饭点了
[00:14:15] 一听有人喊他
[00:14:17] 嗯
[00:14:17] 垃圾挽救
[00:14:18] 退了
[00:14:18] 都害怕烹菜了
[00:14:21] 嗯
[00:14:21] 心里琢磨了琢磨呢
[00:14:24] 只是他怎么弄
[00:14:27] 你说说
[00:14:28] 卖得出去瞧瞧
[00:14:29] 还得去瞧瞧
[00:14:31] 往外走啊
[00:14:32] 刚要走
[00:14:32] 写邓先生说了
[00:14:34] 嗯
[00:14:34] 等会儿等会儿
[00:14:36] 啊
[00:14:37] 冲啊
[00:14:38] 饭碗就扔了
[00:14:39] 哎呀
[00:14:41] 没你我活不下去了
[00:14:44] 您就是我的快乐
[00:14:46] 就是你的幸福
[00:14:48] 快点来啦
[00:14:50] 哎呀
[00:14:51] 真高兴
[00:14:52] 好了就过来了
[00:14:53] 嗯
[00:14:54] 往那儿一站
[00:14:55] 跟他说了
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