[00:00:00] Lord Chancellor's Nightmare Song - Todd Rundgren
[00:00:02] Written by：Gilbert & Sullivan
[00:00:07] Love unrequited robs me of me rest
[00:00:15] Love hopeless love my ardent soul encumbers
[00:00:22] Love nightmare like lies heavy on me chest
[00:00:30] And weaves itself into my midnight slumbers
[00:00:46] When you're lying awake with a dismal headache
[00:00:48] And repose is taboo'd by anxiety
[00:00:50] I conceive you may use any language
[00:00:51] You choose to indulge in without impropriety
[00:00:54] For your brain is on fire the bed-clothes conspire
[00:00:56] Of usual slumber to plunder you
[00:00:57] First your counter pane goes and uncovers your toes
[00:00:59] And your sheet slips demurely from under you
[00:01:01] Then the blanketing tickles you feel like mixed
[00:01:03] Pickles so terribly sharp is the pricking
[00:01:05] And you're hot and you're cross and you tumble and
[00:01:07] Toss 'til there's nothing 'twixt you and the ticking
[00:01:09] Then the bed clothes all creep to the ground in a heap
[00:01:11] And you pick 'em all up in a tangle
[00:01:13] Next your pillow resigns and politely declines
[00:01:15] To remain at its usual angle
[00:01:17] Well you get some repose in the form of a dose
[00:01:19] With hot eye balls and head ever aching
[00:01:21] But your slumbering teems with such horrible dreams
[00:01:22] That you'd very much better be waking
[00:01:24] For you dream you are crossing the Channel
[00:01:26] And tossing about in a steamer from Harwich
[00:01:28] Which is something between a large bathing machine
[00:01:30] And a very small second class carriage
[00:01:32] And you're giving a treat penny ice and cold meat
[00:01:34] To a party of friends and relations
[00:01:36] They're a ravenous horde and they all come on board
[00:01:37] At Sloane Square and South Kensington Stations
[00:01:39] And bound on that journey you find your attorney
[00:01:41] Who started this morning from Devon
[00:01:43] He's a bit undersiz'd and you don't feel surprised
[00:01:45] When he tells you he's only eleven
[00:01:46] Well you're driving like mad with this singular lad
[00:01:48] By the bye the ship's now a four wheeler
[00:01:50] And you're playing round games and he calls you bad names
[00:01:51] When you tell him that ties pay the dealer
[00:01:53] While this you can't stand so you throw up your hand
[00:01:55] And you find you're as cold as an icicle
[00:01:56] In your shirt and your socks the black silk with gold clocks
[00:01:58] Crossing Sal'sbury Plain on a bicycle
[00:02:00] And he and the crew are on bicycles too
[00:02:02] Which they've somehow or other invested in
[00:02:03] And he's telling the tars all the particulars
[00:02:05] Of a company he's interested in
[00:02:07] It's a scheme of devices to get at low prices
[00:02:09] All good from cough mixtures to cables
[00:02:11] Which tickled the sailors by treating retailers as
[00:02:13] Though they were all vegetables
[00:02:14] You get a good spades man to plant a small tradesman
[00:02:16] First take off his boots with a boot tree
[00:02:18] And his legs will take root and his fingers will shoot
[00:02:20] And they'll blossom and bud like a fruit tree
[00:02:21] From the green grocer tree you get grapes
[00:02:23] And green pea cauliflower pine apple and cranberries
[00:02:25] While the pastry cook plant cherry brandy will grant
[00:02:27] Apple puffs and three corners and banburys
[00:02:29] The shares are a penny and ever so many
[00:02:30] Are taken by Rothschild and Baring
[00:02:32] And just as a few are allotted to you
[00:02:34] You awake and with a shudder despairing
[00:02:40] You're a regular wreck with a crick in your neck
[00:02:42] And no wonder you snore for your head's on the floor
[00:02:44] And you've needles and pins from your soles to your shins
[00:02:46] And your flesh is acreep for your left leg's asleep
[00:02:48] And you've cramp in your toes and a fly on your nose
[00:02:49] And some fluff in your lung and a feverish tongue
[00:02:51] And a thirst that's intense
[00:02:52] And a general sense that you haven't been sleeping in clover
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