[00:00:00] Hi! My name is.. (what?) My name is.. (who?)
[00:00:04] My name is.. {scratches} Slim Shady
[00:00:07] Hi! My name is.. (huh?) My name is.. (what?)
[00:00:09] My name is.. {scratches} Slim Shady
[00:00:14] Ahem.. excuse me!
[00:00:18] Can I have the attention of the class
[00:00:20] for one second?
[00:00:23] Hi kids! Do you like violence? (Yeah yeah yeah!)
[00:00:26] Wanna see me stick Nine Inch Nails through each one of my eyelids? (Uh-huh!)
[00:00:29] Wanna copy me and do exactly like I did? (Yeah yeah!)
[00:00:32] Try cid and get f**ked up worse that my life is? (Huh?)
[00:00:34] My brains dead weight, I'm tryin to get my head straight
[00:00:37] but I can't figure out which Spice Girl I want to impregnate (Ummmm..)
[00:00:40] And Dr. Dre said, "Slim Shady you a basehead!"
[00:00:43] Uh-uhhh! "So whys your face red? Man you wasted!"
[00:00:46] Well since age twelve, I've felt like I'm someone else
[00:00:48] Cause I hung my original self from the top bunk with a belt
[00:00:51] Got pissed off and ripped Pamela Lees tits off
[00:00:54] And smacked her so hard I knocked her clothes backwards like Kris Kross
[00:00:57] I smoke a fat pound of grass and fall on my ass
[00:00:59] faster than a fat B***h who sat down too fast
[00:01:02] Cmere slut! (Shady, wait a minute, thats my girl dog!)
[00:01:06] I don't give a f**k, God sent me to piss the world off!
[00:01:09] Hi! My name is.. (what?) My name is.. (who?)
[00:01:12] My name is.. {scratches} Slim Shady
[00:01:14] Hi! My name is.. (huh?) My name is.. (what?)
[00:01:18] My name is.. {scratches} Slim Shady
[00:01:19] Hi! My name is.. (what?) My name is.. (who?)
[00:01:23] My name is.. {scratches} Slim Shady
[00:01:25] Hi! My name is.. (huh?) My name is.. (what?)
[00:01:29] My name is.. {scratches} Slim Shady
[00:01:31] My English teacher wanted to have sex in junior high
[00:01:34] The only problem was my English teacher was a guy
[00:01:37] I smacked him in his face with an eraser, chased him with a stapler
[00:01:40] and stapled his nuts to a stack of paper (Owwwwwwww!)
[00:01:42] Walked in the strip club, had my jacket zipped up
[00:01:45] Flashed the bartender, then stuck my dick in the tip cup (Wsssshhhhh...)
[00:01:48] Extraterrestrial, killin pedestrians
[00:01:50] Rapin lesbians while they screamin: "LETS JUST BE FRIENDS!"
[00:01:53] Ninety-nine percent of my life I was lied to
[00:01:56] I just found out my mom does more d**e than I do
[00:01:59] I told her Id grow up to be a famous rapper
[00:02:02] Make a record about doin drugs and name it after her (Oh thank you!)
[00:02:05] You know you blew up when the women rush your stands
[00:02:07] and try to touch your hands like some screamin Usher fans (Aaahhhhhh!)
[00:02:10] This guy at White Castle asked for my autograph (Dude, can I get your autograph?)
[00:02:13] So I signed it: Dear Dave, thanks for the support, ASSHOLE!
[00:02:16] Hi! My name is.. (what?) My name is.. (who?)
[00:02:19] My name is.. {scratches} Slim Shady
[00:02:22] Hi! My name is.. (huh?) My name is.. (what?)
[00:02:26] My name is.. {scratches} Slim Shady
[00:02:38] Stop the tape! This kid needs to be locked away! (Get him!)
[00:02:41] Dr. Dre, don't just stand there, OPERATE!
[00:02:44] I'm not ready to leave, its too scary to die
[00:02:47] Ill have to be carried inside the cemetery and buried alive
[00:02:50] Am I comin or goin? I can barely decide
[00:02:53] I just drank a fifth of vodka -- dare me to drive? (Go ahead)
[00:02:56] All my life I was very deprived
[00:02:58] I ain't had a woman in years, and my palms are too hairy to hide
[00:03:01] Clothes ripped like the Incredible Hulk (hachhh-too)
[00:03:03] I spit when I talk, Ill f**k anything that walks (Cmere)
[00:03:06] When I was little I used to get so hungry I would throw fits
[00:03:09] HOW YOU GONNA BREAST FEED ME MOM? (WAH!) YOU Ain't GOT NO TITS! (WAH!)
[00:03:13] I lay awake and strap myself in the bed
[00:03:15] Put a bulleproof vest on and shoot myself in the head (BANG!)
[00:03:18] I'm steamin mad (Arrrggghhh!)
[00:03:19] And by the way when you see my dad? (Yeah?)
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