I'll get candles and my mom's lace tablecloth. 我带蜡烛跟我妈的蕾丝桌布
And since it's Rachel's birthday... 既然是瑞秋的生日…
...I thought I'd poach a salmon. …我想我煮一条鲑鱼
What? 怎么样嘛？
Question. Why do we always have parties where you poach things? 我要问为什么每次开派对 你都要水煮东西啊？
You want to be on the food committee? 你想总掌食物委员会吗？
Question 2. Why do we always have parties with committees? 问题二，为什么每次派对 都要有食物委员会？
Why can't we just get pizza and beer and have fun? 为什么不买些披萨跟啤酒 大家高兴就好了嘛？
I agree. Fancy parties are only fun if you're fancy on the inside. 我认为花俏的派对 是给打心底花俏的人的
You don't want it to be special? 你们不想要点特别的？
Fine. You can throw any kind of party you want. 很好，你们爱怎么样就怎么样
Joey,they're not real! 乔伊，那是假的
I start miles beneath the surface of these things. They're fake. 我这里面空空如也
See? Honk,honk! 看，空空
Wow,it's like porno for clowns! 像给小丑看的小电影
The One With Two Parties
六人行 第2季 第22集 一个头两个大
Neither of Rachel's sisters can come. 我跟瑞秋的妹妹讲了 她们都不能够来
I still have to invite Dylan and Emma and Shannon Cooper. 那我还得邀请迪伦 艾玛，还有古香浓
No Shannon Cooper. 不要香浓
Why not her? 为什么呢？
Because she.... 因为她…
She steals stuff. 会偷东西
Or maybe she doesn't and Joey slept with her and never called her back. 又或许她不会偷东西，但他跟 她上床后就没再打电话给她了
Joey,that is horrible. 乔伊，那太过份了
Hey,I liked her. 我喜欢她，好吗？
Maybe too much. 或许太喜欢了
I don't know. 我不知道
I guess I just got scared. 我猜我只是怕了
I didn't think anyone would buy that. Okay! 没想到有人会吃这一套
Hi,honey. How did it go? 蜜糖，好玩吗？
It was the graduation from hell. 地狱的毕业典礼
My cousin went to hell on a football scholarship. 我表弟是靠足球奖学金 上“地狱大学”的
It's supposed to be a joyous occasion. 这本来应该是个快乐的场合
Nobody thought my sister would graduate from college. 我妹妹从大学毕业了 谁也没想到
It's a testament to what a girl from Long lsland will do for a Celica. 真正证明了一个长岛女孩 为了一部车会做什么
What happened? 到底怎么了？
My parents happened. 我宝贝父母呀
All they had to do was sit in the same stadium,smile... 他们只需要坐在同一个体育馆 骄傲地微笑…
...and not talk about the divorce. But no! …绝口不提离婚的事 但不！
They got into a fight during the commencement address. 开幕致词到一半时 他们就吵得不可开交了
Bishop Tutu actually had to stop and shush them. 主教还得停下来 叫他们两个住口
You know the good news? 你们知道好消息是什么吗？
I get to serve coffee for the next eight hours. 我接着可以帮人 倒八小时的咖啡
I guess we don't invite her parents. 那我们可以不要邀请她父母
-How about just her mom? -Why her mom? 只邀她妈妈，怎么样？ 为什么？
Because I already invited her. 因为我已经邀了
Did you ask Stacy Roth? 你邀了史戴西吗？
Can't invite her. 不，不能邀她
She also steals. 她也会偷东西
Here are the candles. Where's the birthday cake? 这是生日蛋糕的蜡烛 那生日蛋糕呢？
We're not having birthday cake. 我们不吃生日蛋糕
We're having birthday flan. 我们吃生日派饼
Excuse me? 什么？
It's a traditional Mexican custard dessert. 是一种传统墨西哥软冻点心
That's nice. 不错呀
Happy birthday,Rachel. Here's some goo! 生日快乐，瑞秋，来些膏
Dr. Greene! 林医生
Oh,my God! It's Rachel's dad. 老天啊，是瑞秋的爸爸
Why are you here? 你来做什么？
The father can't see the daughter on her birthday? 怎么了？女儿生日 老爸过来看看也不行吗？
No,no,the father can. 不…老爸当然可以
But since I am the roommate, I can tell you she's not here. 但是由于我是她室友 我可以告诉你她不在
And I'll pass along the message. Okay? So bye-bye. 我会转告她你来过了 所以，拜拜
You're having a party. 你们开派对呀
Just a surprise gathering of some people Rachel knows. 只是一群 瑞秋认识的人的惊喜聚会
-This is Phoebe,Chandler and Joey. -I'll never remember all that. 这是菲比，钱德，乔伊 太多人了我记不住
So what's the deal? 所以你们是要…瑞秋回来
Rachel comes home,people pop out and yell stuff? Is that it? 大家跳出来尖叫 是不是这样子？
Hi,Monica. 摩妮卡
The Chinese menu guy. Forgot the menus. 有人送了中餐馆菜单来 他忘了菜单了
So basically,just a Chinese guy. 所以基本上只是个中国人而已
Dr. Greene,come with me. We'll put your jacket on Rachel's bed. 林医生，你跟我来好了 我们把外套放瑞秋床上
All right. That sounds like a two-person job. 好啊，那似乎需要两个人
Well,my goodness! What was that? 我的天，你刚干嘛你？
Sandra,I thought you were Rachel. We weren't ready for you yet. 真对不起，我以为你是瑞秋 可是我们还没准备好
-You thought I was Rachel? -Yes,because you look so young. 你以为我是瑞秋？ 对啊，你看起来好年轻
And because you're both, you know,white women. 而且基本上你们两个都是… 白种女人
Oh,I missed you kids. Should I put my coat in the bedroom? 我好想念你们 我应该把外套放房间吗？
-No,I'll take that for you. -Oh,well,thank you. 不，交给我好了 那就谢了
Such a gentleman. Thank you. 真是个绅士啊
It all looks so nice. So festive. All the balloons. 看起来真棒，喜气洋洋的 那么多汽球
Oh,the funniest thing happened to me on the way here. 我过来的时候碰见一两件怪事
-I was driving -That's great! 我在开… 太棒了
I can't wait to hear the rest, but I have to go to the bathroom. 我等不及你说完 我快憋不住了
Hey,come with me. 跟我来
You know,like at a restaurant. It'll be fun! Come on. 你知道，像在餐厅 会很好玩的，来吧…
Oh,my God. Oh,my God. Oh,my God! 天啊…
Think. Think. 想一想，快想一想
What would Jack and Chrissy do? 杰克跟克丽会怎么做？
Okay,now that your coat is safely in the bed 你的外套安全上床了…
We can come back out in the living room. 我们现在可以回客厅了
Joey and Chandler,it's time you take Dr. Greene over to your place. 对了，乔伊，钱德，我想你们 应该带林医生到你们那边去
Yes,absolutely. 对，完全正确
Why,again? 为什么？
Because that's where the party is,you goon! 因为派对在那边呀，呆子
-See,this is just the staging area. -Right,it's the staging area. 这边只是准备区 对…准备区而已
This is clearly in the wrong apartment. 这个放错地方了
All right,you guys are off to party number one. 好吧，你们这些去一号派对
And you.... 而你们呢…
You are off to party number two. 去二号派对
All right,let's keep it moving, let's keep it moving. 继续走，继续走，快
At least send some women to my party. 你至少送些女的来我这边好吗
Thank you for such a wonderful dinner. 谢谢你美妙的晚餐
Thanks for being born. 谢谢你出生
Thank you for my beautiful earrings. They're perfect. 谢谢你这对漂亮的耳环 真的好美
I love you. 我爱你
Now,you can exchange them if you want,okay? 你要的话可以拿去换
Now I love you even more. 现在我更爱你了
Surprise! 惊喜…
Oh,my gosh! 天啊…
Wow! 哇！
Oh,my God. Mom! 天啊…妈
This is so great! 太棒了
Happy birthday,sweetie. 生日快乐，瑞秋
You! I had no idea! 你…我完全不知
-Really? -No,I knew. 真的？ 不，我知道的
All right. 好
There's food and drinks on the table. 各位，桌上有吃的跟喝的
Go across the hall. Right now,Joey and Chandler's. 现在去对面 乔伊跟钱德那边，去呀
-Why? -Just go. 为什么？ 去就是了
Surprise! 惊喜！
Happy birthday,sweet pea. 生日快乐，小甜豆
Daddy! 爸爸
Both of them are here? Both of them? Both of them are here? 他们都来了，两个都来了？
Well,we could count again? 我们可以再算一次
I can't believe this! 我无法相信有这种事
You know,this is ridiculous. 这太荒唐了
This is your birthday,your party. 这是你的生日，你的派对
Let's put them together. If they can't deal with it,who cares? 我说把他们放在一起，如果 他们应付不来的话，谁在乎？
-I do. -That's who. 我在乎 就是你
Are you gonna be okay? 你不要紧吧？
I don't really have a choice. I can look at the bright side. 我根本就别无选择嘛 我可以往好的方面想啊
I get two birthday parties and two birthday cakes. 我有两个生日派对 还有两个生日蛋糕
Well,actually... 其实只有…
...just one birthday flan. …一个生日派饼
It's a traditional Mexican custard dessert. 那是一种墨西哥软冻点心
Talk to Monica. She's on the food committee. 你去跟摩妮卡讲比较好 她是食物委员会的人
Some girl just walked up to me and said,"I want you,Dennis"... 有个女的刚刚走过来跟我说 “我要你，丹尼”…
...and stuck her tongue down my throat. …然后给了我一个热吻
I love this party! 我爱这个派对
-Quick volleyball question. -Volleyball. 我有个排球问题 排球？
We set up a court in your room. 我们在你房间弄了个球场
You didn't like that gray lamp,did you? 你不是真的喜欢 那个灰灯，对不对？
A woman stuck her tongue down my throat. I'm not even listening to you. 刚才有个女人给我一个热吻 我根本就没听你说话
-Dennis! -Okay,that's me. 丹尼… 她在叫我了
Can you keep Dad occupied? I'm gonna talk to Mom for a while. 蜜糖，你陪我爸一下，好吗？ 我要去跟我妈讲一下话
Do you have any ideas for any openers? 那我用什么话当… 当开场白
Stay clear of "I'm the guy that's doing your daughter"... 你只要避开“我是那个上 你女儿的人”…
...and you should be okay. …就不会有问题了
I want you to take a piece of paper 我要你们一个人拿一张纸…
Here you go. And write down your most embarrassing memory. 拿去 然后写下你们最臭的回忆
... because they will dry out. …不然的话，笔会干掉的
Hi,Dr. Greene. 林医生
So how's everything in the... 血管外科游戏中…
...vascular surgery... …的一切…
...game? …都还好吗？
It's not a game,Ross. A woman died on my table today. 那不是游戏，罗斯 今天有个女人死在我手术台上
I'm sorry. 很遗撼
That's the good thing about my job. 那就是我工作的好处
All the dinosaurs on my table are already dead. 因为我在工作台上的那些恐龙 都已经死了
Listen,I don't mean to be a pain about this... 听着，各位 我并不是故意要烦你们的…
You want to push the caps... 你们应该是要用力按…
... until you hear them click. …按到喀的一声为止
Where you going? 你要去哪里啊？
I was sort of thinking about maybe 我…我只是在想，或许我…
No! No,you can't go! No,this is fun. 不…你不能走 不，这很好玩
We're just starting. Here's your marker. 来嘛…我们才刚开始 来，这是你的笔
If you want to go,just go. 听着，你想走就走好了
She'll yell at me again. 不，她会再吼我
All right,I can get you out. 好吧，我可以把你弄出去
What? 什么？
In a minute,I'll create a diversion. 等一下我们来个声东击西
-I think I need a drink. -I'll get it for you. 我想来杯喝的 我去帮你拿
-What do you want? -Scotch. 你要喝什么？ 威士忌
I'll be back in 10 seconds with your scotch on the rocks in a glass. 好，我十秒钟之内 会带着你的威士忌加冰块回来
Neat! 纯
Cool. 正
Neat,as in no rocks. 纯的，不加冰块
Hello,Ross! Where have you been? 罗斯，你上哪儿去了？
Stay clear of the salmon mousse. 避开那些鲑鱼慕斯
Scotch neat. 纯威士忌
That's Rachel's father's drink. 瑞秋她爹就爱那玩意儿
Mine too. Isn't that neat? 我也是，很酷，不是吗？
Scotch neat. 纯威士忌
Would you excuse me? 我先失陪了
Where are you sneaking off to,mister? 你想溜到哪里去呢，先生？
I'm getting my cigarettes. 我要去拿我外套里的香烟
No. 不…
What do you mean "no"? 什么意思啊？
See,because that's the staging area. 因为那边是准备区
You go in there,it'll ruin the whole illusion of the party. 你一去的话 你对派对的幻影就都成空了
Take your scotch back in there... 你还是带着你的威士忌回去…
...and I will get your cigarettes for you,sir. …然后我去帮你拿香烟 好吗？
-Get my glasses too. -All righty-roo. 还有我的眼镜 有我就搞定了
What a great moment to say that for the first time. 真是第一次说那句话的好时机
Okay,the first person's most embarrassing memory is... 我现在来看看 第一个人的最臭的回忆就是…
... "Monica,your party sucks." …“摩妮卡，你的派对真逊”
Very funny. 非常幽默
Oh,no! Did someone forget to use a coaster? 天啊，有人忘了用杯垫吗？
What? 什么？
I don't see anything. 我没有看到呀
Great,I'm seeing water rings again. 是吗？我的眼睛又花了
Ross,whose glasses are those? 罗斯，那是谁的眼镜啊？
Mine. 我的
You wear bifocals? 你戴远近两用的眼镜？
I have a condition apparently... 我的视力…
...that I require... …显然同时…
...two different sets of focals. …需要用到两种镜片
Do you know my husband has glasses just like that? 你知道我先生也有一副 跟你一样的眼镜吗？
Well,those are very popular frames. 那副镜框很流行
Neil Sedaka wears them. 尼尔席达卡也有一副
I hear you can get people out of here. 听说你有办法弄我们出去 是不是？
You didn't tell me your boyfriend smokes. 你并没有告诉我你男友会抽烟
Yeah,like a chimney. 对，像根烟囱
Big smoker. 大烟枪
Big,big smoker. 超大烟枪
In fact,I'm gonna go into the hallway and fire up this bad boy. 事实上，我现在就去走廊上 点燃这根大坏蛋了
Are you wearing my glasses? 你在戴我的眼镜吗？
Yes. 对
I was just warming up the earpieces for you. 我只是在替你 把那个耳架弄暖一点
Is that one of my cigarettes? 那是我的香烟吗？
Yes,it is. I was just moistening the tip. 对，没错 我在把这个烟屁股弄湿
She's taking the trash out, so I can get you out of here. 好了，她去倒垃圾了 我可以弄你们出去了
But it has to be now. She'll be back any minute. 可是你们得马上走 她随时会回来
What about my friend? 那我朋友呢？
Only the three of you. Any more and she'll get suspicious. 不行，只有你们三个 超过三个她就会起疑心的
-Let me just get my coat. -There isn't time! 好吧，我去拿外套 没有时间了
Just leave everything. 什么都不要拿
They'll take care of you next door. 隔壁那些人会照顾你们的
Is it true they have beer? 他们有啤酒是真的吗？
Could you guys please keep it down? 你们小声一点，好不好？
We're trying to start a Boggle tournament. 我们要来个文字游戏锦标赛
You! 你
And you. 还有你
You're supposed to be at my party. 你们应该在我的派对的啊
And Gunther! 还有阿刚
What are you doing here? 你在这个地方干什么啊？
Welcome to the fo 欢迎光临…
All right,I'm sorry. But these people needed me. 好吧，对不起嘛 可是这些人需要我啊
They work hard all week. It's Saturday night. 他们辛苦了一个礼拜 今天是周末
They deserve to have a little fun. Go! 他们有权享一点儿乐的，去
You know,my party is fun. 我的派对很好玩
It's a little quieter, less obvious sort of fun. 或许是安静了一点吧 比较含蓄的乐趣
But if people would just give it a chance,it's 但如果大家给它一个机会 那会比较…
-You want me to see a therapist? -Sweetheart,you have a problem. 你要我去看心理医生？ 亲爱的，你显然有问题了
You've chosen a boyfriend exactly like your father. 你居然选了一个 跟你爸一模一样的男朋友
Okay,Mom,I'll make an appointment. 妈，我会先去挂号的
But right now,I gotta go. I gotta go do a thing. 现在我得走了 我得去做一件事
Did you know your mother spent $1200 on bonsai trees? 你知道吗？你老妈居然花了 一千二百块买一个盆栽
I felt like Gulliver. 我觉得我好像巨人在小森林里
Daddy,I really want to hear more about this... 爸，你知道吗？ 我真的很想再多听，真的…
...but I just have to do some stuff. …但我有点事要处理
You work and you work and you work at a marriage... 我一直很努力 想要挽救我们的婚姻…
... but all he cares about is his stupid boat. …可是他只关心他那艘蠢船
You work and you work and you work on a boat. 我一直一直努力的去弄我的船
He always ridiculed my pottery classes. 他老是嘲笑我的烧陶课
And you sand it and varnish it. 磨好了之后还要上釉
But when all is said and done, he still drinks out of the mugs. 但他还是用我做的杯子喝东西
One night of her yoga and Bridges of Madison County.... 听她念一晚她的瑜珈 还有她的“麦迪逊之桥”…
-The scotch,the cigarettes.... - The bonsais and the Chihuahua.... 威士忌，香烟… 盆栽和吉娃娃狗…
I may have only been in therapy for three weeks now but 我或许只看了 三个礼拜的心理医生，但…
What the hell does she want with half a boat? 她要半条船干什么？
Okay,okay,you can be shirts and I'll be skins. 你衣服留着我光着身子好了
How you holding up there,tiger? 你没事吧，老虎？
Sorry. When my parents were getting divorced,I got a lot of "tigers." 很抱歉，我父母在闹离婚时 很多人叫我“老虎”
I got a lot of "champs," "chiefs," "sports." 很多人叫我 “冠军”“老大”“君子”
I even got a "governor." 还有人叫我“州长”
This is it,isn't it? This is what my life will be like. 就这样了，是不是？ 我的生活就会变成这样
My mom there,my dad there. 我妈跟我爸一人一个地方
Thanksgiving,Christmas. 感恩节，圣诞节
She gets the house,he's in a condo my sister will decorate with wicker. 她得到房子，他住在我妹用 柳条家具帮他布置的公寓
I relied on a carefully regimented program... 我利用了我精心策划的计划…
...of denial... …拒绝面对现实…
...and wetting the bed. …还有尿床
You know,I just It's so weird. 这太诡异了
I mean,I was in there just listening to them bitch about each other. 我是说，我人在里面 却听着他们两个人骂来骂去
All I kept thinking about was the Fourth of July. 可是心里却一直在想着国庆日
Because it reminded you of the way... 因为那让你想起我们的祖先…
...our forefathers used to bitch at each other? …从前也是骂来骂去的吗？
It's just this thing. Every year we would... 是这样子的啦 我们每年…
...go out on my dad's boat and watch the fireworks. …都会坐我爸的船出海 去看烟火
Mom always hated it because the ocean air made her hair all big. 可是我妈讨厌去 因为海风会把她的头发吹膨
My sister Jill would be throwing up over the side... 我妹妹吉儿 则会靠在船边呕吐…
...and Dad would be upset because nobody helped. …我爸会不高兴 因为没有人帮他忙
And when we did help,he'd scream at us for doing it wrong. 当我们帮忙的时候呢 他又会吼叫说我们越帮越忙
But then when the fireworks started, everybody just shut up. 但是当烟火开始的时候 大家都闭嘴了
You know,and it'd get really cold. 然后天气会变得很冷
And we'd all just sort of smoosh under this one blanket. 我们会全部都挤在 一条毯子下面
It never occurred to anybody to bring another one. 从来没有人想到要多带一条来
And now it's.... 但是现在…
Yeah,I know. 对，我知道
Thanks for coming. I hope you had fun. 谢谢光临，希望你们玩得开心
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