[00:00:00] The Gift - The Velvet Underground (地下丝绒)
[00:00:01] Waldo Jeffers had reached his limit
[00:00:04] It was now mid-august
[00:00:06] Which meant that he had been separated
[00:00:08] From marsha for more than two months
[00:00:10] Two months and all he had to show were three dog-eared letters
[00:00:13] And two very expensive long distance phone calls
[00:00:16] True when school had ended and she'd returned to wisconsin
[00:00:20] And he to locust pennsylvania
[00:00:22] She had sworn to maintain a certain fidelity
[00:00:25] She would date occasionally but merely as amusement
[00:00:29] She would remain faithful
[00:00:31] But lately waldo had begun to worry
[00:00:34] He had trouble sleeping at night
[00:00:36] And when he did he had horrible dreams
[00:00:40] He lay awake at night
[00:00:41] Tossing and turning underneath his printed quilt protector
[00:00:45] Tears welling in his eyes
[00:00:47] As he pictured marsha
[00:00:48] Her sworn vows overcome by
[00:00:51] Liquor and the smooth soothings of some neanderthal
[00:00:54] Finally submitting to the final caresses of sexual oblivion
[00:00:59] It was more than the human mind could bear
[00:01:02] Visions of marsha's faithlessness haunted him
[00:01:05] Daytime fantasies of sexual abandon permeated his thoughts
[00:01:09] And the thing was they wouldn't understand who she really was
[00:01:13] He waldo alone understood this
[00:01:16] He had intuitively grasped every nook and cranny of her psyche
[00:01:20] He had made her smile and she needed him
[00:01:23] And he wasn't there
[00:01:25] The idea came to him on the thursday
[00:01:27] Before the mummers parade was scheduled to appear
[00:01:30] He had just finished mowing and edging
[00:01:32] The edelsons lawn for a dollar-fifty
[00:01:33] And had checked the mailbox to see
[00:01:35] If there was at least a word from marsha
[00:01:38] There was nothing more than a circular
[00:01:39] Form the amalgamated aluminum company of america
[00:01:41] Inquiring into his awning needs
[00:01:43] At least they cared enough to write
[00:01:46] It was a new york company
[00:01:48] You could go anywhere in the mails
[00:01:51] Then it struck him
[00:01:52] He didn't have enough money to go
[00:01:54] To wisconsin in the accepted fashion
[00:01:56] True but why not mail himself
[00:01:59] It was absurdly simple
[00:02:00] He would ship himself parcel post special delivery
[00:02:04] The next day waldo went to the supermarket
[00:02:06] To purchase the necessary equipment
[00:02:08] He bought masking tape a staple gun and a medium sized
[00:02:12] Cardboard box just right for a person of his build
[00:02:15] He judged that with a minimum of jostling
[00:02:17] He could ride quite comfortably
[00:02:19] A few airholes some water
[00:02:21] A selection of midnight snacks
[00:02:23] And it would probably be as good as going tourist
[00:02:26] By friday afternoon waldo was set
[00:02:28] He was thoroughly packed and the post office
[00:02:30] Had agreed to pick him up at three o'clock
[00:02:32] He'd marked the package "FRAGILE"
[00:02:34] And as he sat curled up inside
[00:02:36] Resting in the foam rubber cushioning he'd thoughtfully included
[00:02:39] He tried to picture the look of awe
[00:02:41] And happiness on marsha's face
[00:02:42] As she opened the door saw the package tipped the deliverer
[00:02:46] And then opened it to see her waldo finally there in person
[00:02:50] She would kiss him and then maybe they could see a movie
[00:02:54] If he'd only thought of this before
[00:02:56] Suddenly rough hands gripped his package
[00:02:59] And he felt himself borne up
[00:03:01] He landed with a thud in a truck
[00:03:03] And then he was off
[00:03:04] Marsha bronson had just finished setting her hair
[00:03:08] It had been a very rough weekend
[00:03:10] She had to remember not to drink like that
[00:03:13] Bill had been nice about it though
[00:03:15] After it was over he'd said that he still respected her and
[00:03:18] After all
[00:03:19] It was certainly the way of nature and even though no
[00:03:22] He didn't love her
[00:03:23] He did feel an affection for her
[00:03:26] And after all they were grown adults
[00:03:28] Oh what bill could teach waldo
[00:03:31] But that seemed many years ago
[00:03:34] Sheila klein
[00:03:35] Her very very best friend walked in through
[00:03:38] The porch screen door into the kitchen
[00:03:41] Oh god it's absolutely maudlin outside
[00:03:44] Ugh I know what you mean I feel all icky
[00:03:49] Marsha tightened the belt on her cotton robe
[00:03:51] With the silk outer edge
[00:03:53] Sheila ran her finger over some salt grains on the kitchen table
[00:03:56] Licked her finger and made a face
[00:03:59] I'm supposed to be taking these salt pills but
[00:04:01] She wrinkled her nose
[00:04:02] They make me feel like throwing up
[00:04:05] Marsha started to pat herself under the chin
[00:04:07] An exercise she'd seen on television
[00:04:10] God don't even talk about that
[00:04:12] She got up from the table and went to the sink
[00:04:15] Where she picked up a bottle of pink and blue vitamins
[00:04:17] Want one Supposed to be better than steak
[00:04:19] And attempted to touch her knees
[00:04:22] I don't think I'll ever touch a daiquiri again
[00:04:25] She gave up and sat down
[00:04:27] This time nearer the small table that supported the telephone
[00:04:30] Maybe bill'll call
[00:04:32] She said to sheila's glance
[00:04:34] Sheila nibbled on a cuticle
[00:04:36] After last night I thought maybe you'd be through with him
[00:04:40] I know what you mean
[00:04:41] My god
[00:04:41] He was like an octopus
[00:04:42] Hands all over the place
[00:04:44] She gestured
[00:04:45] Raising her arms upward in defense
[00:04:47] The thing is after a while
[00:04:49] You get tired of fighting with him
[00:04:50] You know and after all he didn't really do anything
[00:04:53] Friday and saturday so I kind of owed it to him
[00:04:55] You know what I mean
[00:04:56] She started to scratch
[00:04:58] Sheila was giggling with her hand over her mouth
[00:05:01] I'll tell you I felt the same way and even after a while
[00:05:05] She bent forward in a whisper
[00:05:07] I wanted to
[00:05:08] And now she as laughing very loudly
[00:05:11] It was at this point that
[00:05:12] Mr Jameson of the clarence arrow post office
[00:05:14] Rang the door bell of the large tucco colored frame house
[00:05:18] When marsha bronson pened the door
[00:05:20] He helped her carry the package in
[00:05:22] He had his yellow and his green slips of paper signed
[00:05:24] And left with a fifteen-cent tip
[00:05:26] That marsha had gotten out of her mothers
[00:05:28] Small beige pocket book in the den
[00:05:30] What do you think it is
[00:05:31] Sheila asked
[00:05:33] Marsha stood with her arms folded behind her back
[00:05:36] She stared at the brown cardboard carton
[00:05:38] That sat in the middle of the living room
[00:05:40] I don't know
[00:05:42] Inside the package waldo quivered with excitement
[00:05:44] As he listened to the muffled voices
[00:05:47] Sheila ran her fingernail over the masking tape
[00:05:49] That ran down the center of the carton
[00:05:52] Why don't you look at the return address
[00:05:53] And see who it is from
[00:05:55] Waldo felt his heart beating
[00:05:57] He could feel the vibrating footsteps
[00:06:00] It would be soon
[00:06:02] Marsha walked around the carton
[00:06:03] And read the ink-scratched label
[00:06:06] Ugh god it's from waldo
[00:06:08] That schmuck
[00:06:09] Said sheila
[00:06:11] Waldo trembled with expectation
[00:06:14] Well you might as well open it
[00:06:16] Said sheila
[00:06:16] Both of them tried to lift the stapled flap
[00:06:19] Ah shit
[00:06:21] Said marsha groaning
[00:06:22] He must have nailed it shut
[00:06:24] They tugged at the flap again
[00:06:26] My god you need a power drill to get this thing opened
[00:06:30] They pulled again
[00:06:32] You can't get a grip
[00:06:35] They both stood still breathing heavily
[00:06:38] Why don't you get the scissors
[00:06:40] Said sheila
[00:06:41] Marsha ran into the kitchen
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