[00:00:00] Craigslist - Weird Al Yankovic (“怪人奥尔”扬科维奇) [00:00:07] // [00:00:07] Whoa yeah [00:00:23] // [00:00:23] You've got a '65 Chevy Malibu [00:00:31] 你得到了一辆雪弗兰迈锐宝车 [00:00:31] With automatic drive [00:00:35] 它有自动档 [00:00:35] A custom paint job too [00:00:40] 你还得到了一份定制油漆的工作 [00:00:40] I'll trade you for my old wheelbarrow [00:00:43] 我会用我的旧手推车与你做交易 [00:00:43] And a slightly used sombrero [00:00:47] 还有一个很少戴过的草帽 [00:00:47] And I'll even throw in a stapler if you insist [00:00:55] 如果你坚持的话 我还可以再加上一台订书机 [00:00:55] Craigslist [00:01:03] 克雷格网站 [00:01:03] I'm on Craiglist baby come on [00:01:08] 我已经登上了克雷格网站 宝贝 来吧 [00:01:08] Yeah [00:01:15] 太好了 [00:01:15] Well we shared a quick glance [00:01:19] 我们迅速交换了眼神 [00:01:19] Saturday at the mall [00:01:23] 周六在购物中心 [00:01:23] I never took a chance [00:01:27] 我没得到机会 [00:01:27] Never approached you at all [00:01:31] 从未接近过你 [00:01:31] You were a blonde half-Asian with a bad case of gas [00:01:35] 你是一个亚裔金发小妞 脾气很糟 [00:01:35] I was wearin' red Speedos and a hockey mask [00:01:39] 我穿着红色的泳裤 带着曲棍球面具 [00:01:39] Come on let's find that love connection that we missed [00:01:47] 来吧 让我们找到我们之前错过的爱情缘分 [00:01:47] On Craigslist [00:01:55] 在克雷格网站上 [00:01:55] Yeah Craigslist come on [00:02:03] 是的 克雷格网站 加油 [00:02:03] I'm on Craigslist [00:02:09] 我登上了克雷格网站 [00:02:09] Oh baby maybe you are too [00:02:13] 宝贝 或许你也可以 [00:02:13] Be bom ba chomb cadonk bin bam boo [00:02:45] // [00:02:45] An open letter to the snotty barista at the Coffee Bean on San Vacente [00:02:50] 这有一封写给在San Vacente林荫大道上一家加咖啡店里 [00:02:50] Boulevard [00:02:52] 一个下贱的咖啡师的公开信 [00:02:52] I know there were twenty people behind me in line [00:02:55] 我知道我身后有二十个人 [00:02:55] But I was on a cell phone call with my mother [00:03:00] 但是我正在和我的妈妈打电话 [00:03:00] Didn't you see me hold up my index finger [00:03:03] 难道你看不到我已经竖起了食指吗 [00:03:03] That means I'll order my soy decaf hazelnut latte in just a couple minutes [00:03:10] 那就意味着我将会在短短几分钟之内为这杯大豆咖啡因的咖啡付款 [00:03:10] So what's with the attitude lady [00:03:12] 那个不耐烦的女士 你怎么了 [00:03:12] No tip for you [00:03:15] 不会提示你 [00:03:15] Got a trashcan of Styrofoam peanuts [00:03:20] 你能得到一个用聚乙烯泡沫桶装的花生 [00:03:20] You can have 'em for free [00:03:23] 你可以免费拥有它们 [00:03:23] You can drop by on the weekend [00:03:28] 你可以在周末来这里 [00:03:28] And pick 'em up from me [00:03:31] 从我这得到它们 [00:03:31] But the trashcan ain't part of the deal [00:03:35] 但是这个桶不在交易的范围之内 [00:03:35] Only givin' you the peanuts get real [00:03:39] 我只会给你花生 别幻想了 [00:03:39] Don't have no Hefty bag so bring your own [00:03:44] 没有什么笨重的袋子 所以带上你自己的 [00:03:44] Don't bug me with questions on the phone [00:03:48] 不要在电话里给我指出错误 [00:03:48] Don't ask for help don't waste my time [00:03:52] 不要求助 不要浪费我的时间 [00:03:52] And don't complain 'cause they won't cost you a dime [00:03:56] 不要抱怨 因为他们不花你一美分 [00:03:56] Just ask yourself: [00:03:56] 只需问问自己 [00:03:56] Do you want my Styrofoam peanuts [00:04:00] 你想要用塑料泡沫桶装的花生吗 [00:04:00] You can have my Styrofoam peanuts [00:04:04] 你可以拿走我的 [00:04:04] Do you want my Styrofoam peanuts [00:04:08] 你想要用塑料泡沫桶装的花生吗 [00:04:08] You can have them all