[00:00:00] 本字幕由天琴实验室独家AI技术生成
[00:00:01] 我特别喜欢他是吗
[00:00:03] A
[00:00:03] 会的东西很多
[00:00:05] 我会什么呀
[00:00:06] 会说相声
[00:00:07] 会唱歌
[00:00:09] 会打篮球
[00:00:10] 特别的棒啊
[00:00:12] 什么都懂
[00:00:12] 有点儿记乱了不是吗
[00:00:15] 我就会说相声啊
[00:00:18] 就会说相声唱歌那个祝你平安哦
[00:00:22] 祝你平安
[00:00:25] 让男孩都围绕在你身边
[00:00:28] 您说那是女的孙悦
[00:00:30] 站台上能跳能唱
[00:00:32] 那个孙悦
[00:00:33] 那个孙悦
[00:00:33] 那个打篮球那是大高个儿
[00:00:36] 大高个孙悦
[00:00:37] 那打篮球的孙悦plus 是不是你合着我就个大点
[00:00:44] 太大了
[00:00:45] 没有这么说的
[00:00:46] 我特别喜欢跟他聊天儿是吗
[00:00:48] 这位老师满身的正能量
[00:00:51] 我天哎哎
[00:00:53] 什么叫正能肉啊
[00:00:54] 那叫正能量
[00:00:56] 满身的正能量a
[00:00:57] 新的一年到了
[00:00:58] 我想问问孙老师有没有什么新年愿望
[00:01:02] 如果给你一个机会
[00:01:03] 你想干什么
[00:01:05] 新年愿望
[00:01:06] 对
[00:01:07] 给我一次
[00:01:08] 哎
[00:01:08] 那我想减肥
[00:01:13] 太难了吧
[00:01:16] 什么叫太难了
[00:01:17] 你要不换一个什么叫坏不坏
[00:01:19] 他这个人什么都好啊
[00:01:22] 什么都幸福
[00:01:23] 是啊
[00:01:24] 首先有婚姻
[00:01:26] 他的婚姻特别的崎岖
[00:01:29] 您阿谁婚姻崎岖形容啊
[00:01:32] 那是没有崎岖
[00:01:33] 蜿蜒蜿蜒也不像话呀
[00:01:36] 啊
[00:01:36] 是坎坷
[00:01:37] 我这不怎么样啊
[00:01:38] 这他的婚姻特别的坎坷
[00:01:40] 磨网购的
[00:01:42] 嗯
[00:01:43] 我的媳妇儿是买的是吧
[00:01:45] 网聊的
[00:01:46] 网恋
[00:01:46] 哎
[00:01:47] 网恋
[00:01:47] 跟人家聊啊聊可劲聊
[00:01:50] 聊什么呢
[00:01:50] 聊好了
[00:01:51] 约好了
[00:01:51] 嗯
[00:01:52] 要见面了
[00:01:52] 好
[00:01:52] 见面
[00:01:53] 见面了
[00:01:53] a 的姑娘一瞧
[00:01:54] 哎呀大哥您
[00:01:56] 你也太胖了
[00:01:57] 嗯
[00:01:58] 你太胖了有风险
[00:01:59] 但那个姑娘我是胖了点儿
[00:02:01] 但我这个人人很好
[00:02:03] 而且呢
[00:02:04] 他有钱啊
[00:02:06] 姑娘说
[00:02:06] 哼
[00:02:07] 人很好
[00:02:07] 有钱行吧
[00:02:08] 啊
[00:02:09] 我答应你事
[00:02:10] 反正我也怀孕了
[00:02:11] 对孙悦一瞧
[00:02:12] 嚯
[00:02:12] 省事儿了
[00:02:13] 我的天
[00:02:15] 就结婚了
[00:02:16] 我是不是缺心眼儿啊我
[00:02:19] 最近好多了
[00:02:20] 嘿
[00:02:20] 你看我这婚姻
[00:02:21] 闹得我也想跟他学习
[00:02:23] 跟我学
[00:02:24] a
[00:02:25] 我也去网聊搞对象
[00:02:27] 网恋a
[00:02:29] 找一个网吧
[00:02:29] 嗯
[00:02:30] 进去交身份证啊
[00:02:32] 打开一个房间我就进去了
[00:02:33] 单间儿那当然辣
[00:02:35] 网聊骂你还别说
[00:02:37] 真有姑娘上钩是上钩
[00:02:39] 呃
[00:02:39] 真有姑娘上线上线AA 上线跟你聊
[00:02:43] 哎呀哎呦呦
[00:02:45] 聊好了
[00:02:46] 一切都量好了
[00:02:47] 明天上午九点半在一个商场见面啊
[00:02:51] 约会地点
[00:02:52] 对了
[00:02:52] 他穿一身红色的衣服哦耶
[00:02:55] 哎
[00:02:55] 打一车我就去了
[00:02:56] 打车去的
[00:02:57] 滴滴专车还滴滴打车a
[00:03:00] 打一打一个英菲尼迪我就去了
[00:03:01] 你知道吗
[00:03:02] 干嘛非得打英菲尼迪
[00:03:04] 因为人家赞助了
[00:03:07] 那是的
[00:03:09] ADA
[00:03:09] 英菲尼迪我就去了
[00:03:10] 嗯
[00:03:11] 到商场门口一看啊
[00:03:12] 这个红色的衣服
[00:03:13] 这个姑娘啊
[00:03:14] 长得
[00:03:14] 哎哟这漂亮啊
[00:03:16] 太难看了
[00:03:18] 难看成什么样啊什么样啊
[00:03:20] 冯小刚
[00:03:21] 长头发或者太寒碜了
[00:03:26] 浙大有法儿要吗
[00:03:26] 没法儿要
[00:03:27] 找不着姑娘啊
[00:03:28] 那是我自己的原因
[00:03:29] 找不着对象a
[00:03:30] 经过我仔细研究和分析啊
[00:03:32] 我发现了现在的姑娘喜欢什么样的什么样啊
[00:03:35] 喜欢个儿高的
[00:03:37] 哎哟
[00:03:37] 喜欢帅的
[00:03:39] 喜欢有钱的
[00:03:40] 哎呦
[00:03:40] 喜欢有气质的事啊
[00:03:42] 对不对啊
[00:03:43] 你看我怎么样您啊
[00:03:45] 您成功的都躲过了
[00:03:50] 躲得彻底吗
[00:03:51] 太彻底了
[00:03:53] 您这话我都不爱听
[00:03:55] 那什么叫不爱听呢
[00:03:56] 跟您
[00:03:57] 跟您说啊哈
[00:03:58] 人最重要的什么呀
[00:04:00] 是心灵a
[00:04:01] 这是心灵美
[00:04:02] 心灵美是最美的
[00:04:04] 对了
[00:04:04] 只要你找一个好老板
[00:04:06] 好老板好好工作
[00:04:08] 辛勤工作是每天早起晚归
[00:04:11] 经常加班儿啊
[00:04:13] 早晚这个老板怎么样会更有钱
[00:04:15] 哎嗨
[00:04:17] 老板有钱换更好的车
[00:04:19] 哎哟
[00:04:19] 更好的房子
[00:04:20] 那就给我们加个新的
[00:04:22] 找好工作
[00:04:23] a
[00:04:24] 刚才你也问了
[00:04:25] 是你
[00:04:25] 你什么工作
[00:04:26] 今天的工作
[00:04:28] 你那工作怎么怎么这么惨呀
[00:04:29] 我瞧着什么工作
[00:04:31] 我是一个啊我的
[00:04:36] 啊
[00:04:36] 卧底啊
[00:04:38] 修车的
[00:04:40] 什么叫修车的呀
[00:04:41] 这卧在车底下
[00:04:42] 那是换机油什么的
[00:04:43] 那就卧底嘛
[00:04:45] 卧底嘛不是
[00:04:46] 哎
[00:04:46] 你听过那首赞美卧底的歌吗
[00:04:49] 我的
[00:04:50] 还有哥呢
[00:04:51] 哥
[00:04:51] 我的老家
[00:04:53] 哎
[00:04:54] 就住在这个腿儿
[00:04:56] 我是这个屯里土生土长的人啊
[00:05:00] 这个屯子不咋大呀
[00:05:02] 有山有水有苏兰h ing 和睦
[00:05:06] 老少爷们更合群儿啊
[00:05:09] 诶
[00:05:10] 别唱别唱
[00:05:14] 这是卧底吗
[00:05:15] 这个人家是我的我的老家
[00:05:18] 我的老家吗
[00:05:19] 不
[00:05:19] 不是卧底老家还
[00:05:21] 妹妹
[00:05:21] 不是
[00:05:21] 哈
[00:05:22] 不是
[00:05:22] 反正我是个卧底
[00:05:24] 嗯
[00:05:25] 哎呀
[00:05:26] 豁出去
[00:05:27] 哪个卧底明目张胆的海鸭蛋马路这真行
[00:05:31] 我的吗
[00:05:31] 是不是修车是吧
[00:05:33] 不是警察
[00:05:36] 警察
[00:05:37] 不对不对不对
[00:05:40] 不太紧不不太紧a
[00:05:42] 我还没有事儿
[00:05:45] 保安哥哥
[00:05:47] 您瞧见了吗
[00:05:47] 宝儿
[00:05:48] 你看见了吗
[00:05:48] 狗眼看人低什么话
[00:05:50] 这叫你怎么看那么准呢
[00:05:53] 不是你就是保安
[00:05:54] 那保安怎么啦
[00:05:56] 哎
[00:05:56] 你说这个吗
[00:05:57] 不是
[00:05:57] 别看我是个保安怎么了
[00:05:58] 但是我挣得少怎么啦
[00:06:01] 我我没想
[00:06:03] 就没想你这么直白
[00:06:05] 我就说
[00:06:06] 那您一个月挣多少啊
[00:06:08] 不到2万
[00:06:08] 哦
[00:06:09] 不到两
[00:06:09] 你等a
[00:06:11] 你等会儿
[00:06:11] 你等会儿
[00:06:12] 你你干保安一个月不到2万怎么了
[00:06:15] 你挣得太多了
[00:06:17] 不是你准确挣多少
[00:06:19] 一千六一千
[00:06:22] 你你等会儿怎么了
[00:06:23] 1600都不到2万
[00:06:25] 到2万了吗
[00:06:29] 哦
[00:06:29] 那倒是没道
[00:06:30] 那倒是没道
[00:06:31] 别看我只挣1600啊
[00:06:33] 但是我很开心
[00:06:35] 你怎么还开心呢
[00:06:36] 因为我没有办法a high 任命你是吧
[00:06:41] 哎呀
[00:06:41] 你看我挣得少啊
[00:06:43] 我住的也不好跟他成正比的
[00:06:46] 照样开心
[00:06:47] 哎
[00:06:48] 这开心
[00:06:49] 哎哎
[00:06:49] 行行行行
[00:06:51] 呃
[00:06:52] 这1600块给解封了
[00:06:54] 你看
[00:06:54] 哎呀哎呀
[00:06:57] 要鼓掌都鼓掌啊
[00:06:58] 别塞两个的人呢
[00:07:03] 真有意思啊
[00:07:05] 不是您住怎么不好听
[00:07:08] 你见过上下铺吗
[00:07:09] 那大学里边都是上下铺
[00:07:11] 你见过上中下铺吗
[00:07:13] 那火车卧铺你见过上中上中下下铺嘛
[00:07:19] 四层的
[00:07:20] 嗯
[00:07:21] 没有
[00:07:22] 你见过上中上中中下下铺吗
[00:07:26] 我就住中层哦
[00:07:28] 你住三层a 啊
[00:07:30] 就是中间那层
[00:07:31] 哎
[00:07:31] 对了哦
[00:07:33] 照样很开心
[00:07:34] 那是那是那照样上班
[00:07:35] 每天上班
[00:07:36] 那是上班儿
[00:07:36] 那天我正上班儿呢
[00:07:38] 嗯
[00:07:38] 站在房顶上往下看往下看
[00:07:40] 嗯嗯
[00:07:44] 您等会儿吧
[00:07:45] 嘿嘿嘿嘿嘿嘿嘿嘿嘿
[00:07:47] 我就没瞧过那保安
[00:07:49] 站在房顶往下看这叫什么保安啊
[00:07:51] 怎么了
[00:07:52] 你干嘛呢
[00:07:53] 那天摄像头坏了
[00:07:56] 改肉摄像头了是吗
[00:07:58] 嗯
[00:08:00] 我问你个问题啊
[00:08:02] 如果说你突然间有钱了啊
[00:08:04] 你第一时间干什么捐了
[00:08:08] 我疯了
[00:08:10] 我刚有钱我就捐了
[00:08:12] 嗯
[00:08:13] 我疯了
[00:08:13] 我理你干嘛
[00:08:14] 我告诉你记住了啊
[00:08:15] 我干嘛
[00:08:16] 人突然间有钱了
[00:08:17] 第一时间干什么干什么
[00:08:18] 数一数的
[00:08:19] 嗨
[00:08:21] 这都什么呀
[00:08:22] 这小窍门啊
[00:08:23] 各位小窍门
[00:08:24] 数一数
[00:08:26] 财迷
[00:08:28] 我数了三天三宿没睡过来啊
[00:08:30] 这多少钱呐
[00:08:31] 我不识数啊
[00:08:33] 对对
[00:08:34] 你不识数
[00:08:35] 你数它干嘛
[00:08:36] 反正是有钱啦
[00:08:37] 哎哟
[00:08:37] 有钱我就得花钱是吗
[00:08:39] A
[00:08:39] 我过有钱人的日子
[00:08:41] 哎哟
[00:08:41] 我
[00:08:41] 我就吃吃
[00:08:43] 我吃方便面
[00:08:46] 这叫什么
[00:08:47] 有钱的用热水泡
[00:08:51] 你还拿凉水泡过呢
[00:08:52] 不好吃
[00:08:54] 那泡不开啊
[00:08:55] 我吃奢侈品
[00:08:57] 奢侈什么食品
[00:08:59] 黄焖鸡
[00:08:59] 米饭
[00:09:02] 好啊
[00:09:05] 我也穿衣服
[00:09:07] 您合着一直光着呢
[00:09:09] 是怎么制服啊
[00:09:10] 哦
[00:09:11] 换衣服啊
[00:09:12] 反正是有钱啊
[00:09:13] 投资投资
[00:09:14] 投资小卖部
[00:09:16] 投资小卖部
[00:09:17] 哎呀
[00:09:17] 慢慢变超市
[00:09:19] 超市变成大商场
[00:09:20] 哎哟哎呀
[00:09:21] 不能去商场怎么了
[00:09:22] 我想起了那个红衣服的女女孩儿
[00:09:24] 哎
[00:09:24] 对对对对
[00:09:25] 冯小刚长头发
[00:09:26] 哎呀
[00:09:26] 行行行
[00:09:27] 太寒碜了
[00:09:28] 反正是越来越有钱了啊a
[00:09:31] 巨有钱
[00:09:32] 有钱我就开心开心a
[00:09:34] 再给我机会a
[00:09:35] 怎么着
[00:09:35] 给我个机会我就干嘛搞房产
[00:09:38] 房地产我盖小区
[00:09:40] 哎呀
[00:09:41] 盖一个小区
[00:09:41] 给这个小区起一个名字叫什么呀
[00:09:43] 叫海
[00:09:44] 哦
[00:09:45] 较大的意思
[00:09:46] 房子我不卖
[00:09:47] 不卖干嘛
[00:09:48] 这个小区四周再盖四个小区啊
[00:09:50] 高价卖
[00:09:51] 卖得出去
[00:09:51] 因为这是海景房
[00:09:54] 你们也太骗人了吧
[00:09:56] 你们是有钱了
[00:09:57] AI 给我一个机会
[00:09:58] 大家来给一张床
[00:10:00] 哎呀
[00:10:00] 想睡我就睡
[00:10:01] 哎
[00:10:01] 想再给我个机会
[00:10:03] AA 我就变火锅
[00:10:04] 想吃我就吃
[00:10:05] 哎呀
[00:10:05] 再给我个机会我就变取款机
[00:10:07] 诶行
[00:10:08] 我就取钱
[00:10:09] 你呀
[00:10:09] 你等会儿吧
[00:10:10] 嘿嘿
[00:10:11] 我再给你个机会
[00:10:12] 你瞧瞧病去吧
[00:10:15] 你就是
[00:10:15] 就你这种人
[00:10:16] 我早瞧明白了
[00:10:18] 好高骛远
[00:10:19] 不脚踏实地
[00:10:21] 一天到晚给我个机会
[00:10:22] 给我个机会
[00:10:24] 给你1万个机会
[00:10:25] 你也把握不住
[00:10:26] 告诉你机会天天有
[00:10:27] 得自己争取
[00:10:29] 自己把握
[00:10:30] 自己坚持
[00:10:31] 把握住一个机会
[00:10:33] 你就能成功
[00:10:34] 告诉你记住了啊
[00:10:35] 以后踏踏实实做人
[00:10:37] 踏踏实实做事
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