[00:00:00] I chose to believe every word I was fed
[00:00:02] And I thought the coals on my back were a product
[00:00:04] Of the lack you left when you stepped back
[00:00:06] And racked your brain for a reason to stay,
[00:00:08] But you could not seem to formulate any such thought in your head.
[00:00:12] So you left with nothing more than a reason you kept silent
[00:00:14] And my mind would riot stuck in self-perpetuated mental violence
[00:00:18] And dreams kept private.
[00:00:19] The ambition to fix this wish list of selfish misfit realist missions
[00:00:23] Contained within a vision of wishful thinking
[00:00:25] And sinking deep into a new bit of
[00:00:27] Misproportioned emotions leaking through a seeping truth
[00:00:31] Constructed by my need to feel important
[00:00:33] When you would look back and think
[00:00:34] Of all the little things that you regret.
[00:00:36] I just wanted you to think of me when you think back
[00:00:38] To all those little things that you regret.
[00:00:40] I spent so much time convincing myself that the rest of this mess
[00:00:42] That I stressed within this relationship was a product of the world’s oppressions,
[00:00:46] Not my deep desire to be needed.
[00:00:48] And it’s hard to admit but I guess I’ve come to terms with the fact
[00:00:51] That I just want to be needed,
[00:00:52] And I convinced myself that I needed to be needed.
[00:00:55] And if that was true, I would still be smiling
[00:00:57] Like you still today but for different reasons.
[00:01:00] I chose to dismiss the possible instance
[00:01:01] That the lips I love to kiss could form the words goodbye
[00:01:04] And it was a simple lie but I told it to you
[00:01:06] And like the captain of a sinking ship choosing to believe
[00:01:09] The bottom of the ocean was a better source of oxygen.
[00:01:12] It’s so nice and I still chose to believe I misinterpreted your dialect 
[00:01:15] And everything you said about it.
[00:01:17] Your diction, your diatribe, posture, body language and connotations,
[00:01:21] All pointed in the same direction
[00:01:23] The selection of contingent messages postponed until further notice 
[00:01:27] Because I was ashamed to admit the problem
[00:01:29] And pretend your happiness came from me
[00:01:31] And that your happiness was important.
[00:01:33] But we aborted the sorted truths we once distorted
[00:01:35] When I saw the shape of your dress when you wore it.
[00:01:38] And that was enough until it wasn’t
[00:01:40] And that’s when you finally felt supported.
[00:01:42] So the others courted you and you mentally recorded
[00:01:45] And endorsed the force perform of compliments you received came in
[00:01:49] And you felt empowered enough to take your final bow
[00:01:52] And find love within the arms of another instead of this heart of mine.
[00:01:56] And that’s fine because I would do the same,
[00:01:58] And I would leave me. Not because I’m useless
[00:02:01] And not because I’m broken.
[00:02:02] Not because I’m sad and not because I’m worthless.
[00:02:05] But because I saw value in your smile but not in your values,
[00:02:09] And I’m sorry, and I love you.
[00:02:12] And that’s why I can finally sleep at night,
[00:02:15] Because you are free and you can thrive,
[00:02:18] And I’m just happy I got to be a part of your life.
[00:02:22] I’m just happy I got to be a part of the journey
[00:02:24] That you call your life.
[00:02:26] And I finally feel fine because I spent so long trying
[00:02:29] To change you, not realizing I was the one who needed to change.
[00:02:33] I was selfish to assume you loved me more than you love yourself
[00:02:37] Even though I never felt the same. And there’s so many things
[00:02:40] That my selfishness tried to take away but you were the one
[00:02:43] That was the hardest to watch walk away.
[00:02:47] But thank you for letting me be a part of everything
[00:02:49] You were building and creating and finding truth and life
[00:02:52] And you were relating so much beauty, and I love you, and I’m sorry.
[00:03:00] Thank you for letting me be a part of your journey.
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