[00:00:00] Ernie (Fastest Milkman In The West) - The Hit Co. (热歌公司) [00:00:05] You could hear the hoof beats pound [00:00:06] As they raced across the ground, [00:00:09] And the clatter of the wheels as they spun 'round and 'round. [00:00:12] And he galloped into market street, [00:00:14] His badge upon his chest, [00:00:15] His name was Ernie, [00:00:17] And he drove the fastest milk cart in the west. [00:00:21] Now Ernie loved a widow, a lady known as Sue, [00:00:24] She lived all alone in Liddley Lane at number 22. [00:00:28] They said she was too good for him, she was haughty, [00:00:31] Proud and chic, [00:00:32] But Ernie got his cocoa there three times every week. [00:00:36] They called him Ernie, (Ernieeeeeeeeeee) [00:00:40] And he drove the fastest milk cart in the west. [00:00:43] She said she'd like to bathe in milk, [00:00:45] He said, "All right, sweetheart," [00:00:47] And when he'd finished work one night he loaded up his cart. [00:00:51] He said, "D'you want it pasturize? [00:00:53] 'Cause pasturize is best," [00:00:55] She says, "Ernie, [00:00:55] I'll be happy if it comes up to my chest." [00:00:59] That tickled old Ernie, (Ernieeeeeeeeeee) [00:01:02] And he drove the fastest milk cart in the west. [00:01:08] Now Ernie had a rival, an evil-looking man, [00:01:12] Called Two-Ton Ted from Teddington [00:01:14] And he drove the baker's van. [00:01:16] He tempted her with his treacle tarts [00:01:18] And his tasty wholemeal bread, [00:01:20] And when she seen the size of [00:01:21] His hot meat pies it very near turned her head. [00:01:24] She nearly swooned at his macaroon and he said, [00:01:27] "If you treat me right, [00:01:28] You'll have hot rolls every morning [00:01:30] And crumpets every night." [00:01:32] He knew once she sampled his layer cake [00:01:34] He'd have his wicked way, [00:01:36] And all Ernie had to offer was a pint of milk a day. [00:01:40] Poor Ernie, (Ernieeeeeeeeeee) [00:01:44] And he drove the fastest milk cart in the west. [00:01:49] One lunch time Ted saw Ernie's horse [00:01:51] And cart outside her door, [00:01:53] It drove him mad to find it was still there at half past four. [00:01:57] And as he lept down from [00:01:58] His van hot blood through his veins did course, [00:02:01] And he went across to Ernie's cart and didn't half kick his 'orse. [00:02:05] Whose name was Trigger, (Triggerrrrrrrr) [00:02:08] And he pulled the fastest milk cart in the west. [00:02:12] Now Ernie rushed out into the street, [00:02:14] His gold top in his hand, [00:02:16] He said, "If you wanna marry Susie [00:02:18] You'll fight for her like a man." [00:02:20] "Oh why don't we play cards for her?" [00:02:22] He sneeringly replied, [00:02:24] "And just to make it interesting [00:02:25] We'll have a shilling on the side." [00:02:28] Now Ernie dragged him from his van [00:02:30] And beneath the blazing sun, [00:02:32] They stood there face to face, [00:02:34] And Ted went for his bun. [00:02:36] But Ernie was too quick, things didn't go the way Ted planned, [00:02:40] And a strawberry flavoured yogurt sent it spinning from his hand. [00:02:45] Now Susie ran between them and tried to keep them apart, [00:02:48] And Ernie, he pushed her aside [00:02:50] And a rock cake caught him underneath his heart. [00:02:52] And he looked up in pained surprise [00:02:54] And the concrete hardened crust, [00:02:56] Of a stale pork pie caught him in the eye and Ernie bit the dust. [00:03:00] Poor Ernie, (Ernieeeeeeeeeee) [00:03:04] And he drove the fastest milk cart in the west. [00:03:08] Ernie was only 52, he didn't wanna die, [00:03:12] And now he's gone to make deliveries in that milk round in the sky. [00:03:16] Where the customers are angels and ferocious dogs are banned, [00:03:20] And the milkman's life is full of fun in that fairy, dairy land. [00:03:25] But a woman's needs are many fold and soon she married Ted, [00:03:29] But strange things happened on their wedding night [00:03:31] As they lay in their bed. [00:03:34] Was that the trees a-rustling? Or the hinges of the gate? [00:03:37] Or Ernie's ghostly gold tops a-rattling in their crate? 404

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