One Day (有一天) (《土拨鼠日》音乐剧插曲) - Andy Karl/Tim Minchin/Barrett Doss
Written by：Tim Minchin
I was brought up in taffeta dresses
And taught to be pretty and precious
And spending my playtimes with plastic princesses
Who all had these bodies
Just utterly ludicrous
Minuscule waists and huge boobs and it's
All nippleless and no pubes
And no creases
I mean Jesus
It's pretty confusing
Especially at six
In that fairy tale world
All the girls end up happy ever after
Wooing their knights in shining armor
But some nights down the track
You can bet they'll be trapped
Spending nights in shining armor
While their knights spend their nights at a bar
Or at a ball with some harlot
I'm not bitter
It's just better that I don't fall for all that
Romantic bullsh*t now that I'm older
Although I don't mind
The thought of being tossed over a shoulder
And trotted off to a mansion
By some ruggedly handsome
Man in a fireman helmet
And have him just use me for sex
As I say it's a little complex
One day some day
My prince may come
But it doesn't seem likely
And even if he came and he liked me
It's likely he'd be
Not quite my type
Some day they say
He'll come riding up on the back of a horse
But of course I'm allergic to horses
How will I tell him
He'll just have to sell him
I went to school with a girl
I remember her well
She was pretty smart
And pretty as hell
Her folks had a farm
But she wouldn't stay of course
She wanted prince charming
So she went to LA of course
Managed to seduce
Famous actor or producer
Shacked up in a house in the hills
With a cat and a juicer
And a fancy car and a tennis court
But the guy wasn't quite the catch
She thought she'd caught
He treats her like trash and then
You know the drill
Takes his cat and his cash
And finds some younger girl
So she's left with this stupid corvette
And an empty swimming pool which she fills with regret
Smart girl but kind of dumb
And I'd rather be lonely than sit on my fanny
Waiting for my prince to come
One day some day
He'll come sweeping in and sweep me off my feet
And spend the next four decades wanting to cheat on me
Getting less handsome
And fighting his dragons
He'd know what to wear
He'd have a full head of hair
And his eyes would be brown or blue or green
Well I don't care
And his body would be toned
With those pecs like you get at the gym
But he won't spend all his time at the gym
And he'll love reading books
He'll be an excellent cook
He'll be good looking but not too aware of his looks
He'll be tender but tough
And smart but not smug
And attentive but not fawning
And he'll smell good in the morning
And he'll dance
And like hiking
And baking and biking
I'm not picky I just ask
That he likes me and I like him
And I'd rather be alone
If the only other option
Is succumb and settle down
With some condescending clown
With a great rating from some dating service
Some self professing Mr Perfect
Another narcissistic legend
Made a million out of hedge funds
Another sexually ineffectual
Self obsessing Metrosexuals
Pseudointellectual
Getting drunk and existential
Every time the steelers lose a game
Thanks but perhaps some other day
One day some day
My prince may come
But I won't hold my breath
There's only divorcees and weirdos left
And weird is fine
But not all the time
One day some day
My prince will come
So the fairy tales said
Thirty years later it's still in my head
That if I screw a frog
I will wake in a four poster bed
There was a day with a girl
I remember it well
Her name was
Janine
Or Janean
Or Joelle
It's Joelle
We drank piña coladas
Watched the sun setting over the bay
Watched the sun setting over the bay
We made love in the sand
And when we were through
We went back to her room
And watched ghostwriters II
Smoked half a joint
And ate half a pound of pate
It was way too much pate
Why couldn't that be my
One day
Some day
I'll cut down on fried chicken take away
My doctor said one day my heart will stop tickin'
Unless I cut down on that chicken
I will do it one day
I'll stop drinking so much
I'll stop dating men who are twenty years older
I'll get a new safety clip for my holster
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