[00:00:00] The Lady's Paying - Nicolas Colicos/Patti LuPone/Kevin Anderson/Ensemble [00:00:00] Written by:Andrew Lloyd Webber [00:00:04] Hurry up the birthday boy is on his way [00:00:08] This is a surprise celebration [00:00:11] I hope you've remembered everything I've said [00:00:16] I want to see a total transformation [00:00:19] What's all this [00:00:21] Happy birthday darling did you think we'd forgotten [00:00:23] Thanks [00:00:24] These people are from the best men's shop in town [00:00:26] I had them close it down for the day [00:00:28] Norma now listen [00:00:28] I'll leave you boys to it [00:00:37] Happy birthday welcome to your shopathon [00:00:39] What's going on [00:00:41] Help yourself it's all been taken care of [00:00:45] Anyone who's anyone is dressed by me [00:00:48] Well golly gee [00:00:49] Pick out anything you'd like a pair of [00:00:53] You just point I'll do the rest [00:00:55] I've brought nothing but the best [00:00:57] You're a very lucky writer [00:00:59] Come along now get undressed [00:01:02] Unless I'm much mistaken [00:01:04] That's a 42 inch chest [00:01:06] I don't understand a word you're saying [00:01:10] Well all you need to know's the lady's paying [00:01:13] It's nice to get your just reward this time of year [00:01:16] Get outta here [00:01:17] And all my merchandise is strictly kosher [00:01:21] When you've thrown away all your old worn out stuff [00:01:24] Hey that's enough [00:01:25] Perhaps you'd like to model for my brochure [00:01:29] I have just the thing for you [00:01:31] Chalk stripe suits [00:01:32] In black [00:01:32] Or blue [00:01:33] Glen plaid trousers [00:01:34] Cashmere sweaters [00:01:35] Bathing shorts for Malibu [00:01:38] Here's a patent leather lace up [00:01:40] It's a virtuoso shoe [00:01:42] And a simply marvelous coat made of vicuna [00:01:47] You know what you can do with your vicuna [00:01:50] Come on Joe you haven't even started yet [00:01:52] You wanna bet [00:01:54] I thought by now he'd look the height of fashion [00:01:57] He always takes forever making up his mind [00:02:00] Don't be unkind [00:02:01] I thought you writers knew about compassion [00:02:05] I love flannel on a man [00:02:08] This will complement his tan [00:02:10] We'll take two of these and four of those [00:02:12] I'm still your greatest fan [00:02:14] Very soon now we'll have stopped him [00:02:17] Looking like an also ran [00:02:19] You're going to make me sorry that I'm staying [00:02:22] Well all right I'll choose after all I'm paying [00:02:26] Evening clothes [00:02:27] I want to see your most deluxe [00:02:29] Won't wear a tux [00:02:30] Of course not dear tuxedos are for waiters [00:02:33] What we need are tails a white tie and top hat [00:02:36] I can't wear that [00:02:37] Joe second rate clothes are for second raters [00:02:41] I seek today of that [00:02:42] Se wow filling station shirt [00:02:45] And the boring baggie jacket [00:02:47] And with yesterday desert [00:02:49] I don't have to go to premieres [00:02:52] I'm never on display [00:02:54] You seem to forget that I'm a writer [00:02:57] Who cares what you wear when you're a writer [00:03:01] I can't join and please don't be so mean to me [00:03:04] Ok all right [00:03:05] You will be charming to my new year's eve party [00:03:08] I've been invited somewhere else on new year's eve [00:03:12] Thats why no [00:03:13] Try always see the new year's eve party [00:03:17] I can't do without you Joe I need you [00:03:21] I've sent out every single invitation [00:03:25] All right Norma I give in [00:03:27] Of course you do [00:03:29] And when they've dressed you [00:03:31] You'll 'cause a sensation [00:03:34] We equip the chosen few of Movie land and [00:03:37] The latest cut [00:03:38] We dress every movie star and crooner [00:03:42] From their shiny toecaps to their hatband [00:03:45] Conceal your gut [00:03:46] You won't regret selecting the vicuna [00:03:50] If you need a hand to shake [00:03:52] If there's a girl you want to make [00:03:54] If there's a soul you're out to capture [00:03:56] Or a heart you want to break