[00:00:00] Lord Chancellor's Nightmare Song - Todd Rundgren
[00:00:08] Love unrequited robs me of me rest
[00:00:16] Love hopeless love my ardent soul encumbers
[00:00:23] Love nightmare like lies heavy of me chest
[00:00:31] And weaves itself into my midnight slumbers
[00:00:47] When you're lying awake with a dismal headache and
[00:00:49] Repose is tabood by anxiety
[00:00:51] I conceive you may use any language you choose to
[00:00:53] Indulge in without impropriety;
[00:00:55] For your brain is on fire the bed-clothes conspire of
[00:00:57] Usual slumber to plunder you:
[00:00:58] First your counter-pane goes and uncovers your toes
[00:01:00] And your sheet slips demurely from under you;
[00:01:03] Then the blanketing tickles you feel like mixed
[00:01:04] Pickles so terribly sharp is the pricking
[00:01:06] And you're hot and you're cross and you tumble and
[00:01:08] Toss til there's nothing twixt you and the ticking
[00:01:10] Then the bed-clothes all creep to the ground in a heap
[00:01:12] And you pick them all up in a tangle;
[00:01:14] Next your pillow resigns and politely declines to
[00:01:16] Remain at its usual angle
[00:01:18] Well you get some repose in the form of a dose
[00:01:20] With hot eye-balls and head ever aching
[00:01:22] But your slumbering teems with such horrible dreams
[00:01:24] That youd very much better be waking;
[00:01:26] For you dream you are crossing the channel and
[00:01:27] Tossing about in a steamer from harwich
[00:01:29] Which is something between a large bathing machine
[00:01:31] And a very small second class carriage
[00:01:33] And you're giving a treat
[00:01:34] (penny ice and cold meat) to
[00:01:35] A party of friends and relations
[00:01:37] Theyre a ravenous horde
[00:01:38] And they all come on board
[00:01:39] At sloane square and south kensington stations
[00:01:40] And bound on that journey you find your attorney
[00:01:42] (who started this morning from devon);
[00:01:44] Hes a bit undersizd and you don't feel surprisd
[00:01:46] When he tells you hes only eleven
[00:01:47] Well you're driving like mad with this singular lad
[00:01:49] (by the bye the ships now a four wheeler)
[00:01:51] And you're playing round games and he calls you bad
[00:01:52] Names when you tell him that ties pay the dealer;
[00:01:54] But this you cant stand so you throw up your hand
[00:01:56] And you find you're as cold as an icicle;
[00:01:58] In your shirt and your socks
[00:01:59] (the black silk with gold clocks)
[00:02:00] Crossing salsbury plain on a bicycle:
[00:02:01] And he and the crew are on bicycles too
[00:02:03] Which they've somehow or other invested in
[00:02:05] And he's telling the tars all the particulars of a
[00:02:07] Company he's interested in;
[00:02:08] Its a scheme of devices to get at low prices all
[00:02:10] Good from cough mixtures to cables
[00:02:12] (which tickled the sailors) by treating retailers as
[00:02:14] Though they were all vegetables;
[00:02:15] You get a good spadesman to plant a small tradesman
[00:02:17] (first take off his boots with a boot tree)
[00:02:19] And his legs will take root
[00:02:20] And his fingers will wshoot
[00:02:21] And they'll blossom and bud like a fruit tree;
[00:02:23] From the green grocer tree
[00:02:23] You get grapes and green pea
[00:02:24] Cauliflower pine apple and cranberries
[00:02:26] While the pastry cook plant cherry brandy will grant
[00:02:28] Apple puffs and three corners and banburys;
[00:02:30] The shares are a penny and ever
[00:02:31] So many are taken by
[00:02:32] Rothschild and baring
[00:02:34] And just as a few are allotted to you
[00:02:35] You awake and with a shudder despairing
[00:02:41] You're a regular wreck with a crick in your neck
[00:02:43] And no wonder you snore for your heads on the floor
[00:02:45] And you've needles and pins from your soles to your
[00:02:47] Shins and your flesh is acreep for your left legs asleep
[00:02:49] And youve cramp in your toes and a fly on your nose
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