[00:00:00] Lord Chancellor's Nightmare Song - Todd Rundgren [00:00:08] Love unrequited robs me of me rest [00:00:16] Love hopeless love my ardent soul encumbers [00:00:23] Love nightmare like lies heavy of me chest [00:00:31] And weaves itself into my midnight slumbers [00:00:47] When you're lying awake with a dismal headache and [00:00:49] Repose is tabood by anxiety [00:00:51] I conceive you may use any language you choose to [00:00:53] Indulge in without impropriety; [00:00:55] For your brain is on fire the bed-clothes conspire of [00:00:57] Usual slumber to plunder you: [00:00:58] First your counter-pane goes and uncovers your toes [00:01:00] And your sheet slips demurely from under you; [00:01:03] Then the blanketing tickles you feel like mixed [00:01:04] Pickles so terribly sharp is the pricking [00:01:06] And you're hot and you're cross and you tumble and [00:01:08] Toss til there's nothing twixt you and the ticking [00:01:10] Then the bed-clothes all creep to the ground in a heap [00:01:12] And you pick them all up in a tangle; [00:01:14] Next your pillow resigns and politely declines to [00:01:16] Remain at its usual angle [00:01:18] Well you get some repose in the form of a dose [00:01:20] With hot eye-balls and head ever aching [00:01:22] But your slumbering teems with such horrible dreams [00:01:24] That youd very much better be waking; [00:01:26] For you dream you are crossing the channel and [00:01:27] Tossing about in a steamer from harwich [00:01:29] Which is something between a large bathing machine [00:01:31] And a very small second class carriage [00:01:33] And you're giving a treat [00:01:34] (penny ice and cold meat) to [00:01:35] A party of friends and relations [00:01:37] Theyre a ravenous horde [00:01:38] And they all come on board [00:01:39] At sloane square and south kensington stations [00:01:40] And bound on that journey you find your attorney [00:01:42] (who started this morning from devon); [00:01:44] Hes a bit undersizd and you don't feel surprisd [00:01:46] When he tells you hes only eleven [00:01:47] Well you're driving like mad with this singular lad [00:01:49] (by the bye the ships now a four wheeler) [00:01:51] And you're playing round games and he calls you bad [00:01:52] Names when you tell him that ties pay the dealer; [00:01:54] But this you cant stand so you throw up your hand [00:01:56] And you find you're as cold as an icicle; [00:01:58] In your shirt and your socks [00:01:59] (the black silk with gold clocks) [00:02:00] Crossing salsbury plain on a bicycle: [00:02:01] And he and the crew are on bicycles too [00:02:03] Which they've somehow or other invested in [00:02:05] And he's telling the tars all the particulars of a [00:02:07] Company he's interested in; [00:02:08] Its a scheme of devices to get at low prices all [00:02:10] Good from cough mixtures to cables [00:02:12] (which tickled the sailors) by treating retailers as [00:02:14] Though they were all vegetables; [00:02:15] You get a good spadesman to plant a small tradesman [00:02:17] (first take off his boots with a boot tree) [00:02:19] And his legs will take root [00:02:20] And his fingers will wshoot [00:02:21] And they'll blossom and bud like a fruit tree; [00:02:23] From the green grocer tree [00:02:23] You get grapes and green pea [00:02:24] Cauliflower pine apple and cranberries [00:02:26] While the pastry cook plant cherry brandy will grant [00:02:28] Apple puffs and three corners and banburys; [00:02:30] The shares are a penny and ever [00:02:31] So many are taken by [00:02:32] Rothschild and baring [00:02:34] And just as a few are allotted to you [00:02:35] You awake and with a shudder despairing [00:02:41] You're a regular wreck with a crick in your neck [00:02:43] And no wonder you snore for your heads on the floor [00:02:45] And you've needles and pins from your soles to your [00:02:47] Shins and your flesh is acreep for your left legs asleep [00:02:49] And youve cramp in your toes and a fly on your nose