[00:00:00] 本字幕由腾讯音乐天琴实验室独家AI字幕技术生成
[00:00:06] 谢谢您的掌声鼓励
[00:00:08] 刚才这个节目叫做俏皮话a
[00:00:10] 我们后台的中流砥柱是烧饼曹鹤阳
[00:00:14] 曹鹤阳不怎么样哈
[00:00:17] 给您说了一段俏皮话
[00:00:19] 像这样的节目不好演
[00:00:21] 不好演
[00:00:22] 得背得背啊
[00:00:23] 其实不好来
[00:00:24] 他们俩
[00:00:25] 他说他
[00:00:25] 他说他
[00:00:26] 他说他
[00:00:27] 他说他不好来他们俩好鄙视啊
[00:00:31] 厕所里头跳远怎么讲啊
[00:00:34] 过分了
[00:00:37] 就是他们俩比他马都恶心
[00:00:40] 知道二位很辛苦
[00:00:42] 下去休息休息
[00:00:43] 刚才这个节目啊
[00:00:45] 呃
[00:00:45] 俏皮话
[00:00:45] 俏皮话之前呢
[00:00:46] 那叫结巴论
[00:00:48] 结巴论是关于说的节目
[00:00:50] 今天咱们唱一回好啊
[00:00:52] 相声演员说学逗唱什么都得来唱
[00:00:55] 其实更难唱
[00:00:56] 更难
[00:00:56] 更不好来
[00:00:58] 作为一个演员做的研究
[00:00:59] 对小小酱经常研究
[00:01:02] 经常的
[00:01:02] 你怎么样啊
[00:01:03] 我看着题知道点儿都都知道点儿都知道
[00:01:06] 那我不废话了啊
[00:01:08] 我就问问您
[00:01:09] 您问问吧
[00:01:10] 有这么一个小曲儿
[00:01:11] 嗯
[00:01:11] 叫做和尚叹
[00:01:14] 听过吗
[00:01:16] 和尚叹
[00:01:17] 没听过
[00:01:18] 没听过没有我给您讲解一下
[00:01:20] 您来了
[00:01:20] 您来了为什么叫和尚叹啊
[00:01:22] 为什么呀
[00:01:22] 怎么叫和尚叹啊
[00:01:24] 您说因为他的父亲
[00:01:25] 嗯
[00:01:25] 就是和尚啊
[00:01:28] 甭别闹别闹
[00:01:30] 哎呀哎呀
[00:01:31] 怎么过瘾呢
[00:01:33] 你等等吧
[00:01:34] 七窍
[00:01:36] 我爸爸是和尚啊
[00:01:39] 我哪儿来的
[00:01:44] 你看我干嘛嘛
[00:01:50] 你说的我不看他啊
[00:01:52] 我问你呢
[00:01:53] 你说的
[00:01:56] 那怎么回事儿
[00:02:00] 怎么回事儿呢
[00:02:01] 说的咱俩岁数不合适
[00:02:03] 不合适是不合适
[00:02:06] 我仿佛比你还小几岁
[00:02:07] 多少多了
[00:02:09] 等等吧
[00:02:09] 啊
[00:02:10] 不是整清楚了
[00:02:10] 你把脑子里清楚了啊
[00:02:13] 回头我连思路都没了
[00:02:14] 你知道吗
[00:02:15] 怎么回事儿呢
[00:02:16] 怎么的
[00:02:18] 你一说的我爸爸是和尚
[00:02:20] 怎么回事儿
[00:02:20] 我的意思是说呀
[00:02:21] 啊
[00:02:22] 你爸爸不是正经的和尚
[00:02:26] 花和尚
[00:02:28] 承认了吧
[00:02:29] 承认这不你说的吗
[00:02:31] 你说的花和尚
[00:02:33] 你说的不是正经和尚啊
[00:02:35] 什么和尚啊
[00:02:36] 是那个脑袋上有有三角那个和尚吗
[00:02:45] 你就分手
[00:02:45] 今儿都歇的
[00:02:46] 知道吗
[00:02:48] 还有三角活着干话不是就说呀
[00:02:51] 啊
[00:02:52] 在他小时候脑袋上梳了一个小辫
[00:02:55] 那叫什么说说啊
[00:02:57] 别小便啊
[00:02:59] 这回可以走大街啊
[00:03:01] 小便啊
[00:03:03] 你往大的走
[00:03:04] 别大叔小片儿啊
[00:03:06] 那叫什么和尚来着什么
[00:03:07] 呃
[00:03:08] 什么和尚
[00:03:09] 12岁
[00:03:11] 跳墙和尚
[00:03:12] 对对对对
[00:03:13] 跳墙和尚
[00:03:14] 不光你爸爸是跳墙和尚
[00:03:16] 您呢
[00:03:17] 撒大爷都是跳墙和尚
[00:03:19] 我们一张的和尚给他们哥四个送到寺庙里头
[00:03:22] 嗯
[00:03:23] 寺庙里头有一位老和尚啊
[00:03:25] 叫**法师
[00:03:29] 您当您当**法师
[00:03:30] 什么**
[00:03:31] 说**
[00:03:32] 都当法师了
[00:03:33] a
[00:03:33] 制空啊**啊**法师
[00:03:35] 哎呀
[00:03:36] 非常喜欢他们哥四个
[00:03:37] 是啊
[00:03:38] 分别给他们起的发明了是吗
[00:03:40] 你大大爷啊
[00:03:41] 叫发坑
[00:03:42] 那我二大爷发明
[00:03:44] 三大爷发广
[00:03:45] 我爸发廊发廊
[00:03:49] 我买了流通货币
[00:03:50] 你爸爸审美审美
[00:03:53] 审美像话吗
[00:03:56] 孙美乐
[00:03:59] 沙宣呢
[00:04:02] 你爸爸姓岳啊
[00:04:03] 你爸爸怎么了
[00:04:07] 到底怎么回事儿啊
[00:04:14] 三星人民不会原谅你的
[00:04:16] 知道怎么回事
[00:04:17] 等等等等
[00:04:18] 你等你想清楚
[00:04:19] 谁发都发了啊
[00:04:22] 发什么
[00:04:23] 放狼放三声
[00:04:26] Lu 阿郎哈
[00:04:29] 人家汉语拼音是有毛病
[00:04:30] 你知道吗
[00:04:31] 我们数学老师学的玩伴郎
[00:04:35] 反正是庙里的
[00:04:36] 生活十分的辛苦
[00:04:37] 都那样
[00:04:38] 每天就是扫扫地啊a 念念经啊
[00:04:41] 天天闲着
[00:04:41] 他父亲是无机六受的什么词儿的
[00:04:44] 天天哼哼唧唧哼哼唧唧
[00:04:45] 哼出这么一个小曲儿来
[00:04:47] 是啊
[00:04:47] 和尚叹
[00:04:48] 和尚叹
[00:04:48] 唱起来好听啊
[00:04:49] 您来了
[00:04:50] 您学学啊
[00:04:50] 学学
[00:04:53] 小呀嘛小和尚
[00:04:56] 头光光
[00:04:58] 袈裟披
[00:04:59] 身上小木鱼儿敲个冰棒念佛
[00:05:05] 又呀么又烧香
[00:05:06] 一阳忽然刮过一阵风
[00:05:10] 一股香味儿飘过墙
[00:05:13] 呃
[00:05:13] 弥陀佛是什么
[00:05:17] 贼拉拉地想
[00:05:22] 问问你
[00:05:23] 怎么还有香味儿
[00:05:24] 怎么那么香啊
[00:05:25] 为什么那么香啊
[00:05:26] 为什么
[00:05:27] 因为这个和尚庙隔着一道墙
[00:05:29] 就是尼姑庵
[00:05:30] 就是
[00:05:32] 就是
[00:05:32] 这个事儿比较惨
[00:05:34] 是七窍人家盖的
[00:05:36] 不对啊
[00:05:36] 怎么啦
[00:05:37] 您各位琢磨琢磨
[00:05:38] 嗯
[00:05:38] 这和尚庙啊
[00:05:40] 旁边一堵墙吗
[00:05:41] 尼姑庵啊
[00:05:42] 前面的那个孤儿院不好吗
[00:05:47] 啊
[00:05:48] 谁也不挨着谁
[00:05:49] 是不是
[00:05:49] 哎
[00:05:50] 话哪能挨着吗
[00:05:52] 啊
[00:05:55] 那你怎么着
[00:05:56] 巧合什么什么巧合啊
[00:05:59] 金融危机啊
[00:06:01] 没听说搬一块儿住的没地方啦
[00:06:03] 小何啊
[00:06:05] 飘过来一股香味
[00:06:06] 同时呢
[00:06:07] 也飘过来一个小曲儿
[00:06:09] 叫尼姑叹
[00:06:11] 尼姑
[00:06:12] 为什么叫尼姑叹
[00:06:13] 嗯
[00:06:13] 什么叫尼姑叹
[00:06:14] 是因为她的母亲啊
[00:06:16] 就是尼姑来了
[00:06:18] 我们还是佛教家庭是吧
[00:06:21] 阿弥陀佛
[00:06:21] 什么阿弥陀佛
[00:06:22] 谁吗
[00:06:23] 尼姑啊
[00:06:24] 啊
[00:06:25] 你妈尼姑骂街不停啊
[00:06:30] 怎么母亲呢
[00:06:31] 我母亲问我哪儿来的
[00:06:33] 不是
[00:06:34] 我的意思是说呀哈
[00:06:35] 你母亲不是正经的尼姑
[00:06:39] 花尼姑
[00:06:42] 尼姑要不正经比和尚很厉害
[00:06:45] 不是什么叫花尼姑
[00:06:48] 赵强尼姑
[00:06:50] 尼姑也跳墙啊
[00:06:52] 哎呀
[00:06:52] 跳墙尼姑啊
[00:06:54] 不光**是跳墙尼姑是吗
[00:06:56] 您的撒一都是跳墙尼姑哦
[00:06:59] 配套来的
[00:07:00] 给她们姐四个送到尼姑庵里头
[00:07:02] 是尼姑庵里头有一位老尼姑叫智缺法师
[00:07:08] 智缺法师非常喜欢她们姐四个
[00:07:10] 是啊
[00:07:11] 分别给他们起了发明了是吗
[00:07:13] 你大姨啊
[00:07:14] 叫慧聪啊
[00:07:15] 二级慧明
[00:07:16] 三一
[00:07:16] 慧广
[00:07:17] 我妈烩饼吃
[00:07:20] 烩饼上画吗
[00:07:22] 为什么会屏上画吗
[00:07:24] 慧敏
[00:07:25] 慧敏a
[00:07:27] 你妈周慧敏
[00:07:30] 你爸爸你爸爸
[00:07:33] 你爸爸你爸爸孙地震
[00:07:36] 这话哪儿的事啊
[00:07:39] 慧敏但是摸阿敏
[00:07:43] 你可别我抽你啊
[00:07:45] 反正庙里的生活十分的辛苦
[00:07:47] 都拿这边就是扫地啊
[00:07:49] 一念念经啊
[00:07:51] 天天闲着
[00:07:52] 他母亲是无机六瘦的
[00:07:53] 都无机六瘦天天哼哼唧唧哼哼唧唧哼出这么一个小曲儿来
[00:07:57] 尼姑唱起来好听啊
[00:07:58] 是啊
[00:07:59] 我跟你学学啊
[00:07:59] 来来来吧
[00:08:01] 尼姑坐在庙堂四季花儿为谁开放
[00:08:10] 背地里埋怨我的心
[00:08:14] 你呀
[00:08:15] 人家的儿女成双配对儿啊
[00:08:21] 可怜小挪Lan 数着往X 朵鲜花插头上啊
[00:08:31] 插也插不上
[00:08:36] 为什么插不上
[00:08:39] 插不上**是个秃亮亮
[00:08:43] 玩儿他还真彻底是怎么着
[00:08:45] 哎
[00:08:45] 说呀
[00:08:46] 这两个人一辈子也不可能走到一起
[00:08:49] 碰不着
[00:08:50] 但是天下就有这么巧的事情
[00:08:52] 什么呀
[00:08:52] 这年4月
[00:08:54] 俩庙联合举办植树造林
[00:08:59] 这不闲的没事儿吗
[00:09:02] Ren to
[00:09:03] 苫布to
[00:09:03] 吗
[00:09:04] 啊
[00:09:05] 哪有这么一句啊
[00:09:07] 可小的事啊
[00:09:08] 哎呀
[00:09:08] 你父亲跟你母亲分到了一个组
[00:09:10] 太少了
[00:09:11] 你爸爸刨坑啊
[00:09:13] 你母亲扶树或两个人干的是热火朝天
[00:09:16] 说清楚了
[00:09:21] 说清楚了
[00:09:22] 怎么了
[00:09:23] 干什么热火朝天
[00:09:31] 就你这一座就职一板砖
[00:09:32] 知道吗啊
[00:09:36] 怎么这么刺激呢
[00:09:37] 谁呀
[00:09:39] 你想想都刺激了
[00:09:41] 说什么呢
[00:09:41] 你干什么呢
[00:09:43] 你说清楚了
[00:09:46] 植树啊啊
[00:09:48] 你说植树
[00:09:49] 你以为呢
[00:09:50] 植树
[00:09:52] 植树
[00:09:54] 这一天下来
[00:09:55] 他的父亲对母亲产生了好感
[00:09:57] 是啊
[00:09:57] 这一次机会就够了吗
[00:09:59] 是吗
[00:09:59] 不够啊
[00:10:00] 啊
[00:10:01] 这年5月
[00:10:02] 俩庙联合举办红五月歌咏比赛
[00:10:09] 闲的难受啊
[00:10:13] 搭了一个大牌子
[00:10:14] 哎呀
[00:10:15] 和胜芳派的是您的父亲呢
[00:10:17] 孤芳派的是您的母亲
[00:10:19] 两个人手拉着手走上台要唱山歌
[00:10:23] 这就手拉手拉你母亲先唱啊
[00:10:25] 唱起来很好听
[00:10:26] 我母亲怎么唱的
[00:10:27] 怎么唱呢
[00:10:29] 小尼姑
[00:10:31] 小根儿嘎叫声
[00:10:33] 和尚
[00:10:34] 听根芽
[00:10:35] 你往姑娘的脸上看
[00:10:38] 起名叫做什么花
[00:10:42] 小和尚
[00:10:44] 小根儿嘎叫了声姑娘紧跟牙
[00:10:48] 我往姑娘的脸上看
[00:10:51] 起名叫做玫瑰花儿
[00:10:55] 玫瑰花儿
[00:10:55] 你妈很高兴
[00:10:56] 试试啊
[00:10:59] 怎么了
[00:11:00] 这是讨厌小呢
[00:11:02] 不像跟干仗了
[00:11:05] 生和尚听根芽
[00:11:07] 你望姑娘的耳朵上看
[00:11:10] 起名叫做什么花儿
[00:11:14] 小和尚
[00:11:16] 小根儿夹着春姑娘听根芽
[00:11:20] 我往姑娘的耳朵上看
[00:11:22] 起名叫做牡丹花儿
[00:11:26] 你妈很高兴
[00:11:30] 缺德
[00:11:32] 小尼姑相跟干笑两声
[00:11:35] 和尚听根芽
[00:11:38] 王姑娘的脑袋上看
[00:11:40] 起名叫做什么啊
[00:11:50] 这是你教场
[00:11:51] 是我爸爸教场
[00:11:58] 你唱一个
[00:11:59] 不挑啦
[00:12:01] 我该说的你头疼了
[00:12:03] 告诉优酷的朋友们哪
[00:12:06] 你爸爸笑场了
[00:12:07] 怎么没有小和尚小根儿嘎唱着双姑娘听
[00:12:15] 镇压我旺姑娘的脑袋上看
[00:12:19] 起名叫做大松花大松大松花
[00:12:25] 你
[00:12:26] 你母亲一听啊什么啊
[00:12:28] 大松花大松花
[00:12:29] 讨厌
[00:12:30] 是缺德
[00:12:32] 哎哟呵们不跟你玩儿啦
[00:12:34] 门啊门走了
[00:12:36] 这好生气了
[00:12:38] 嗯哼
[00:12:38] 哎呀
[00:12:39] 我妈脾气还不小诶
[00:12:46] 这怎么意思
[00:12:47] 这个啊
[00:12:48] 怎么啦怎么啦
[00:12:49] 拉胯子
[00:12:50] 这都不是忘了告诉你了啊
[00:12:52] 你母亲上台的时候一不小心崴了一下脚
[00:12:55] 哪儿那么困呢
[00:12:56] 都以为你母亲生气了
[00:12:58] 生气啦
[00:12:59] 其实没有
[00:12:59] 怎么了
[00:13:00] 对你父亲产生了好感
[00:13:01] 哎哟
[00:13:02] 你父亲对你母亲播下了爱情的种子
[00:13:05] 终于在一个风雨交加的夜晚
[00:13:08] 两个人成功的私奔了
[00:13:11] 都跑了呗
[00:13:12] 下山了
[00:13:13] 还俗了
[00:13:14] 哎哟
[00:13:14] 结婚了
[00:13:15] 有情人终成眷属
[00:13:17] 试试看
[00:13:17] 怎么着怎么着
[00:13:18] 不到四个月
[00:13:20] 他降生了
[00:13:23] 它
[00:13:24] 你出去啦
[00:13:25] 什么干什么的
[00:13:27] 怎么便宜
[00:13:28] 四个月你越不对吗
[00:13:30] 啊
[00:13:31] 仨月
[00:13:31] 什么仨月
[00:13:32] 你调猫跟狗似的嘛
[00:13:34] 啊
[00:13:35] 承认了吧
[00:13:36] 谁承认啦
[00:13:37] 我怎么我就承认了
[00:13:38] 你挑一个我挑什么我挑加起来都不够
[00:13:41] 知道吗
[00:13:42] 十个月
[00:13:43] 十月怀胎
[00:13:44] 一朝分娩
[00:13:45] 剪断截
[00:13:46] 说
[00:13:46] 等他长到20岁的时候呢
[00:13:48] 太剪断了
[00:13:50] 他也谈恋爱了
[00:13:51] 都应该喜欢上隔壁杨家庄一个姑娘
[00:13:54] 杨家庄叫羊对
[00:13:57] 这个姑娘长得很漂亮
[00:13:58] 还漂亮呢
[00:13:59] 有些干这行了
[00:14:02] 一脸的古人是怎么着呢
[00:14:05] 杨查子
[00:14:06] 什么羊啊
[00:14:07] 对对对
[00:14:08] 杨阿翠
[00:14:10] 你跟
[00:14:11] 你跟杨姑娘搞对象啊
[00:14:12] 对
[00:14:12] 你猜完了我搞什么呀
[00:14:13] 还打花了
[00:14:16] 还不得什么意思呀
[00:14:17] 啊
[00:14:18] 翠翠
[00:14:20] 别啊别啊
[00:14:23] 好家伙了
[00:14:24] 你跟翠姑娘搞对象
[00:14:26] 这姑娘
[00:14:26] 杨姑娘搞对象这个事情啊
[00:14:28] 被你们隔壁二傻子看见了
[00:14:30] 隔壁二傻子
[00:14:31] 二傻子
[00:14:32] 二傻子给你们编了一个小曲儿
[00:14:33] 二傻子唱的啊啊啊
[00:14:41] 就这一句实话啊
[00:14:45] 甭来这套
[00:14:46] 没用没用没用了啊
[00:14:48] 翻啊翻啊翻的
[00:14:51] 给你一根儿挑讨厌劲儿的杨家庄唱起来好听啊
[00:14:56] 是啊
[00:14:56] 跟你学学啊
[00:14:57] 二傻子这么唱的真有劲
[00:15:05] 在城东有一个
[00:15:09] 那是杨家的庄啊
[00:15:13] 有一个老袁卖他就奔信仰啊
[00:15:21] 一辈子无有儿所生下一个女儿啊
[00:15:27] 这姑娘长得像婚姻大事没有妥当啊
[00:15:35] 杨姑娘中高每日盼想父郎啊
[00:15:43] 这一日闲下来无
[00:15:45] 老师站在门堂啊
[00:15:49] 走过来叫岁月中乔帝狼啊
[00:15:55] 大眼珠子高鼻梁
[00:15:58] 闲来没事儿嚼冰糖
[00:16:01] 走上前来
[00:16:03] 尊姑娘
[00:16:05] 这姑娘长得可是真漂亮啊
[00:16:11] 杨姑娘看看四外无有人行啊
[00:16:16] 低言乔语口
[00:16:20] 尊相公啊
[00:16:22] 今天晚上咱们两个来相会
[00:16:27] 要相逢在三更来趟我家中不中啊
[00:16:33] 我丈夫不在家
[00:16:36] 咱们两个里根楞
[00:16:40] 我毕生插足去了啊
[00:16:43] 我爹妈爹妈不在家
[00:16:45] 清楚了
[00:16:46] 您琢磨呀
[00:16:46] 杨姑娘对你有意思
[00:16:48] 就约您三更天去
[00:16:50] 三精能不去吗
[00:16:51] 能不去吗
[00:16:51] 二更天就去了
[00:16:53] 到那儿去
[00:16:53] 一开门
[00:16:54] 两个人热情的拥抱
[00:16:57] 省略1万个字
[00:16:59] 用不了
[00:16:59] 没那么好
[00:16:59] 真的
[00:17:02] 第二天早晨走的时候
[00:17:05] 杨姑娘送的
[00:17:05] 您
[00:17:06] 哎呀
[00:17:06] 依依不舍
[00:17:07] 恋恋不舍是吗
[00:17:08] 哼哼唧唧哼哼唧唧的哼出这么一个小曲儿
[00:17:11] 什么呀
[00:17:11] 叫送情郎哦
[00:17:13] 唱起来也好听
[00:17:16] 这都是送过的吧
[00:17:18] 有的是背诵过的
[00:17:20] 说了那么乱
[00:17:22] 谁背诵过呢
[00:17:23] 别举手啊
[00:17:24] 啊
[00:17:25] 真有举手啦
[00:17:26] 会唱的
[00:17:27] 咱们一起唱一唱吧
[00:17:28] 送槟榔你不教你又来呀
[00:17:35] 二不叫你愁啊
[00:17:39] 三不叫你穿错了
[00:17:44] 小妹妹
[00:17:45] 花兜兜啊
[00:17:49] 小妹妹D 叨叨
[00:17:53] 本是一个金锁链啊
[00:17:58] 情郎哥地叨叨吧
[00:18:03] 老爸他镀金高啊
[00:18:07] 小妹妹送我的郎啊
[00:18:11] 送到了大门东啊
[00:18:16] 偏干上这个老天爷
[00:18:20] 下雨又刮风啊
[00:18:27] 哺乳下点儿小雨儿好啊
[00:18:33] 下小鱼儿留啊的郎多待上几分钟啊
404
404，您请求的文件不存在!