Handy (便利) - Weird Al Yankovic (“怪人奥尔”扬科维奇) 腾讯享有翻译作品的著作权 First things first I'm a craftsman 首先也是最重要的 我是名专业工匠 Remodelling is my only passion 旧物改造是我唯一的爱好 And I'm the greatest in the business 我可是这行业里的顶尖人才 Want referrals yo 你想要证明? My clientele will bear you witness 我的客户就是最好的证明 I can help when your door jamb sticks 即便你的门框黏住不能动 我也搞得定 There is nothing in the world I can't fix 这世上就没有我修不了的东西 I do tiles I do stone I do bricks 什么瓷砖啊 地板砖啊 墙砖啊 我都能修 Call me I'll come rushing over with my bag of tricks 只需一通电话 身怀各种绝技的我立马现身 Where you go when your disposal is rusted 你的排污管都锈了 你还跑去哪儿 Termite problem making you disgusted 家有白蚁出没 你不恶心吗 When your front window is busted 当你前车窗破裂时 Just one man that's always trusted 此刻 只有我才是可信的男人 I'm so handy you already know 我随叫随到 你早就知道 I'll fix your plumbing when your toilets over flows 你马桶漏水时 我会立即维修你的管道 I'm so handy I'll bring you up to code 随叫随到 当你洗碗机烫得快要爆炸时 When your dishwasher's about to explode 我会让它立马恢复正常 Now you see that your furnace is needing some service 你看到你的炉灶需要加固 I'm fully bonded no need to be nervous 我会帮你完全固定好 无需担心 Perhaps you would like a new counter Formica 或许你会想买个全新的福米卡灶台 Maybe I'll hook up your dish washer combo dryer 我可以帮你安装洗碟机 组装烘干机 But all your pipes are antique 但你家所有的管道都太旧了 Your water pressure's too weak 所以你家的水压不够 You got an attic full of dry rot 你家阁楼都烂了 Because your roof sprung a leak 因为你家的屋顶漏水 Your fridge is starting to reek 你的冰箱开始冒烟 Your hardwood floors really squeak 你的实木地板松动 咯吱咯吱响 But don't you worry I'll just show you my amazing technique 但请不用担心 请让我展现我惊人的技术 Now let me glue that glue that and screw that screw that 让我粘紧 粘紧那螺丝 Any random chore you got well I can do that do that 无论你有什么烦恼 我都能帮你解决 Or maybe I'll just rewire your house for fun 或许我只是为了好玩才给你家重装电线 I got 99 problems but a switch ain't one 我有很多的问题 但这小开关可难不倒我 I'm so handy everyone said so 我随叫随到 大家都这么说 I'll grout your bathroom resurface your patio 我会修补你的浴室 重铺你家庭院地板砖 I'm so handy I'm the guy to know 我随叫随到 你吸尘器坏了的时候 When your leaf blower doesn't blow-oh-oh-oh 我就是那个知道怎么修的人 Patch the drywall clean your gutters and mow the lawn 修补干板墙 清洗排污管 修剪草坪 Make that phone call I'll install anything you want 只需一通电话 我能帮你安装任何东西 Yeah check my big staple gun my socket wrenches are second to none 是啊 看看我的超大型号的钉枪 套筒扳手也是首屈一指的 I won't quit 'til I'm done don't even care if I hammer my thumb 我才不会半途而废 即便被锤子砸了我的拇指我也不会在意 Still rocking my screwdriver 仍会转动我的螺丝刀 Got the whole world thinking I'm MacGuyver 我要让整个世界都觉得我无所不能 Your heating bills are shocking 你的暖气费高的惊人 I can solve that with some duct tape and some caulking 只需一些胶带堵缝 就能帮你轻松搞定 Your house is a disaster huh 你家就是场大悲剧 Need a guy whose a master with the plaster huh 需要一个修理大神帮你搞定 Let me be your stripper 让我来做你的脱料板 404

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