My Mom Lyrics
Yeah 
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah   
Okay  Alright 
Yo  Yo 
Yo  Yo 
Alright  money comes first 
Here we go now 
My mom loved Valium and lots of drugs 
That's why I am like I am --'cuz I'm like her 
Because my mom loved Valium and lots a' drugs 
That's why I'm on what I'm on --'cuz I'm my mom 
"My mom  my mom" --I know you're probably
Tired of hearing the "my mom" oh-oh whoa-oh 
But this is just a story of when I was just a shorty
And how I became hooked on Va-al-iu-um 
Valium was in everything: food that I ate 
The water that I drank  f**king peas in my plate 
She sprinkled just enough of it just to season my steak
So everyday I had at least three stomach aches 
Now tell me what kind of mother would want to see her
Son be grow up to be an under-a-f**kin'-chiever 
My teacher didn't think I was gonna' be nothing  either:
"What the f**k you stickin' gum up under the f**kin' seat for "
"Mrs  Mathers  your son has been huffing ether 
Either that or the motherf**ker's been puffin reefer "
But all of this huffin' and puffin' wasn't what it was  either 
It was neither  I was buzzin'  but it wasn't what she thought 
Pee in a tea cup  B**ch  you ain't my keeper  I'm sleepin';
What the f**k you keep on f**kin' with me for 
Slut  you need to leave me the f**k alone; I ain't playin' 
Go find you a white crayon and color a f**kin' zebra 
My mom loved Valium and lots of drugs 
That's why I am like I am --'cuz I'm like her 
Because my mom loved Valium and lots a' drugs 
That's why I'm on what I'm on --'cuz I'm my mom 
Wait a minute  This ain't dinner  this is paint thinner 
"You ate it yesterday; I ain't hear no complaints  did I "
"Now here's a plate full of pain killers 
Now just wait 'til I crush the Valium and put it in your potatoes 
You little motherf**ker  don't you sit there and make
That retarded f**kin' face without even tastin' it "
"You'd better lick the f**kin'  plate; you ain't wastin' it 
Put your face in it before I throw you in the basement again 
And I ain't givin' in  You're gonna' just sit there and want to f**kin' play spin again
Until next Thanksgiving  and if you still ain't finished it 
I'll use the same sh*t again  and when I make spinach dip  it'll be placed in the sh*t 
You little sh*t  wanna' sit there and play innocent 
A rat fell and hit me in K-Mart  and they witnessed it 
Child support  Your father  he ain't sent the sh*t 
So what if he did  It's none of your dang business  kid "
My mom  there's no one else quite like my mom 
I know I should let bygones be bygones 
But she's the reason why I am high on what I'm high on 
'Cuz my mom loved Valium and lots of drugs 
That's why I am like I am --'cuz I'm like her 
Because my mom loved Valium and lots a' drugs 
That's why I'm on what I'm on --'cuz I'm my mom 
My mom loved Valium  Now  what I am is a party animal 
I am what I am  but I'm strong to the finish wit' me Valium spinach 
But my bars only last about two minutes 
But I don't want to swallow it without chewin' it 
I can't even write a rhyme without you in it  my Valium  my Val-i-um  Oh 
Man  I never thought that I could ever be a drug addict 
--"nah  f**k that  I can't have it happen to me " but that's actually
What has ended up happenin' in a tragedy f**kin' passin' it up back to me 
And it's probably where I got acquainted with the taste  ain't it 
Pharmaceuticals are the bomb  Mom  Beautiful 
She killed the f**kin' d**e with the medicine she done fed it 
Feed it a f**kin' aspirin and say that it has a headache 
"Here  wanna' snack  You hungry  you f**kin' brat 
Look at that  It's a Xanax  Take it and take a nap  Eat it "
But I don't need it 
"Well f**k it  then break it up 
Take a little piece and beat it before you wake Nathan up "
Alright  Ma  you win  I don't feel like arguin' 
I'll do it --pop and gobble it  start wobblin' 
Stumble  hobble  tumble  slip  trip  then I fall in bed
With bottle of meds and a Heath Ledger bobble head 
My mom loved Valium and lots of drugs 
That's why I am like I am --'cuz I'm like her 
Because my mom loved Valium and lots a' drugs 
That's why I'm on what I'm on --'cuz I'm my mom 
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