Criminal - Original Cartel A lot of people ask me stupid f**kin' questions A lot of people think that what I say on record Or what I talk about on a record that I actually do in real life Or that I believe in it Or if I say that I want to kill somebody that I'm actually gonna do it Or that I believe in it Well sh*t if you believe that Then I'll kill you You know why Cause I'm a criminal Criminal You god damn right I'm a criminal Yeah I'm a criminal My words are like a dagger with a jagged edge That will stab you in the head Whether you're a fag or les' Or the homo-sex hermaph' or a trans'a'vest' Pants or dress hate fags The answer's "yes" Homophobic Nah you're just hetero phobic Starin' at my jeans watchin' my genitals bulgin' (ooh ) That's my motherf**kin' balls you'd better let go of 'em They belong in my scrotum You'll never get hold of 'em Hey it's me Versace Whoops somebody shot me And I was just checkin' the mail Get it checkin' the 'male' How many records you expectin' to sell After your second L P sends you directly to jail Come on relax guy I like gay men Right ken give me an amen (amen ) Please lord this boy needs Jesus Heal this child help us destroy these demons Oh and please send me a brand new car And a prostitute while my wife's sick in the hospital Preacher preacher fifth grade teacher You can't reach me my mom can't neither You can't teach me a goddamn thing 'cause I watch t v and Comcast cable And you ain't able to stop these thoughts You can't stop me from toppin' these charts And you can't stop me from droppin' each March With a brand new C-D for these f**kin' retards Duh and to think it's just little ol' me Mr "Don't give a f**k " still won't leave I'm a criminal Cause every time I write a rhyme These people think it's a crime To tell em what's on my mind I guess I'm a criminal But I don't gotta say a word I just flip 'em the bird And keep goin' I don't take sh*t from no one I'm a criminal Cause every time I write a rhyme These people think it's a crime To tell em what's on my mind I guess I'm a criminal But I don't gotta say a word I just flip 'em the bird And keep goin' I don't take sh*t from no one My mother did drugs tar liquor cigarettes and speed The baby came out disfigured ligaments indeed It was a seed who would grow up just as crazy as she Don't dare make fun of that baby cause that baby was me I'm a criminal An animal caged who turned crazed But how the f**k you supposed to grow up when you weren't raised So as I got older and I got a lot taller My dick shrunk smaller but my balls got larger I drink more liquor to f**k you up quicker Than you'd want to f**k me up for sayin' the word My morals went when the president got oral Sex in his oval office on top of his desk Off of his own employee Now don't ignore me you won't avoid me You can't miss me I'm white blond-haired And my nose is pointy I'm the bad guy who makes fun of people that die In plane crashes and laughs As long as it ain't happened to him Slim shady I'm as crazy as em- Inem and Kim combined the maniac's in Replacin' the doctor cause Dre couldn't make it today He's a little under the weather so I'm takin' his place (mm-mm-mm ) oh that's Dre with an A K to his face Don't make me kill him too and spray his brains all over the place I told you Dre you should've kept that thing put away I guess that will teach you not to let me play with it eh I'm a criminal Aight look (uh huh) just go up in that motherf**ker Get the motherf**kin' money and get the f**k up outta there Aight I'll be right here waitin' on you Aight Yo 'em What Don't kill nobody this time Aw'right god damn f**k How you doin' Hi how can I help you Yeah I need to make a withdrawal Okay Put the f**kin' money in the bag b**ch and I won't kill you What oh my god don't kill me I'm not gonna kill you b**ch quit lookin' around Don't kill me please don't kill me I said I'm not gonna f**kin' kill you Hurry the f**k up boom thank you Windows tinted on my ride when I drive in it So when I rob a bank run out and just dive in it 404

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