[00:00:00] The Lady's Paying - Classical Artists [00:00:01] Written by:Don Black/Christopher Hampton/Andrew Lloyd Webber [00:00:03] Norma: [00:00:04] Hurry up the birthday boy is on his way [00:00:08] This is a surprise celebration [00:00:11] I hope you've remembered everything I've said [00:00:15] I want to see a total transformation [00:00:19] Joe: [00:00:20] What's all this [00:00:21] Norma: [00:00:21] Happy birthday darling [00:00:23] Did you think we'd forgotten [00:00:24] Joe: [00:00:24] Well I don't know [00:00:25] Norma: [00:00:26] These people are from the best men's shop in town [00:00:28] I had them close it down for a day [00:00:29] Joe: [00:00:29] Norma now listen [00:00:30] Norma: [00:00:30] I'll leave you boys to it [00:00:35] Manfred: [00:00:35] Happy birthday welcome to your shopathon [00:00:38] Joe: [00:00:38] What's going on [00:00:39] Manfred: [00:00:40] Help yourself it's all been taken care of [00:00:43] Anyone who's anyone is dressed by me [00:00:46] Joe: [00:00:46] Well golly gee [00:00:47] Manfred: [00:00:47] Pick out anything you like a pair of [00:00:51] You just point I'll do the rest [00:00:53] I have brought nothing but the best [00:00:55] You're a very lucky writer [00:00:58] Come along now get undressed [00:01:00] Unless I'm much mistaken [00:01:02] That's a 42 inch chest [00:01:04] Joe: [00:01:05] I don't understand a word you're saying [00:01:08] Manfred: [00:01:08] Well all you need to know's the lady's paying [00:01:11] It's nice to get your just reward this time of year [00:01:14] Joe: [00:01:15] Get out of here [00:01:15] Manfred: [00:01:16] And all my merchandise is strictly Kosher [00:01:19] When you've thrown away all your old worn out stuff [00:01:22] Joe: [00:01:22] Hey that's enough [00:01:23] Manfred: [00:01:24] Perhaps you'd like to model for my brochure [00:01:28] I have just a thing for you chalk stripe suits [00:01:31] Salesman: [00:01:31] In black [00:01:31] Or blue [00:01:32] Glen paid trousers [00:01:33] Cashmere sweaters [00:01:34] Bathing shorts for Malibu [00:01:37] Here's a patent leather lace up [00:01:39] It's a virtuoso shoe [00:01:41] Manfred: [00:01:41] And a simply marvelous coat made of vicuna [00:01:45] Joe: [00:01:45] You know what you can do with your vicuna [00:01:48] Norma: [00:01:48] Come on Joe you haven't even started yet [00:01:52] Joe: [00:01:52] You wanna bet [00:01:52] Norma: [00:01:53] I thought by now he'd look the height of fashion [00:01:56] He always takes forever making up his mind don't be unkind [00:02:01] I thought you writer knew about compassion [00:02:05] I love Flannel on a man [00:02:07] Manfred: [00:02:07] This will complement his tan [00:02:09] Norma: [00:02:09] We'll take two of these and four of those [00:02:12] Manfred: [00:02:12] I'm still your greatest fan [00:02:13] Very soon now we'll have stopped him looking like an also ran [00:02:18] Joe: [00:02:18] You're going to make me sorry that I'm staying [00:02:21] Norma: [00:02:22] Well all right I'll choose after all I'm paying [00:02:25] Manfred: [00:02:25] Evening clothes [00:02:26] Norma: [00:02:26] I want to see your most deluxe [00:02:28] Joe: [00:02:29] Won't wear a tux [00:02:30] Norma: [00:02:30] Of course not dear tuxedos are for waiters [00:02:33] Manfred: [00:02:33] What we need are tails a white tie and top hat [00:02:36] Joe: [00:02:37] I can't wear that [00:02:37] Norma: [00:02:38] Joe second rate clothes are for second raters [00:02:40] Joe: [00:02:41] Norma please [00:02:41] Norma: [00:02:42] Shut up I'm rich [00:02:43] Not some platinum blonde * [00:02:45] I own so many apartments [00:02:47] I've forgotten which is which [00:02:49] Joe: [00:02:49] I don't have to go to premieres [00:02:52] I'm never on display [00:02:54] You seem to forget that I'm a writer [00:02:58] Who cares what you wear when you're a writer [00:03:01] Norma: [00:03:01] I care Joe and please don't be so mean to me [00:03:04] Joe: [00:03:05] OK all right [00:03:06] Norma: [00:03:06] You can't come to my New Year's Eve party 404

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