[00:00:00] 本字幕由天琴实验室独家AI技术生成
[00:00:00] 酒是穿肠毒药
[00:00:04] 色是刮骨钢刀
[00:00:07] 财是惹祸的根苗
[00:00:10] 气是雷烟火炮
[00:00:14] 这四句话
[00:00:16] 千真万确
[00:00:19] 这喝酒啊
[00:00:20] 的确是好事儿
[00:00:23] 使人兴奋
[00:00:24] 舒筋活血
[00:00:27] 但是不能过量
[00:00:30] 要一过量
[00:00:32] 就有害了
[00:00:34] 它能使人
[00:00:36] 头脑不清
[00:00:40] 知识的人
[00:00:41] 胡说八道啊
[00:00:44] 就拿鲁智深来说
[00:00:47] 贪酒
[00:00:48] 过量啊
[00:00:50] 现在就像个疯子
[00:00:52] 差不多少了
[00:00:55] 公开违背五台山文殊院的佛规
[00:01:00] 酒气熏人
[00:01:02] 哩啦歪斜的
[00:01:04] 满嘴哩哩哇啦
[00:01:05] 也不知说些什么玩意儿
[00:01:08] 这就要进山门
[00:01:11] 人家把门的和尚能让他进吗
[00:01:14] 按着文殊院的规矩
[00:01:17] 和尚偷着喝酒
[00:01:19] 就得打
[00:01:22] 人家把朱杖拿出来了
[00:01:25] 把鲁智深给拦住
[00:01:27] 断喝一声
[00:01:28] 诶
[00:01:30] 鲁智深
[00:01:31] 你好大的胆子
[00:01:33] 你竟敢吃酒带醉
[00:01:36] 这还了得吗
[00:01:38] 休走
[00:01:39] 找打
[00:01:42] 这二位也不知道深浅
[00:01:45] 他们也不知道鲁智深的底
[00:01:50] 今儿个可捅了娄子了
[00:01:53] 鲁智深一个没注意
[00:01:56] 挨了一竹杖
[00:01:57] 正削到后背上
[00:01:59] 那玩意儿挺疼啊
[00:02:01] 这下把他打击了
[00:02:03] 哇呀呀呀
[00:02:06] 好秃驴呀
[00:02:09] 你们敢打我
[00:02:11] 其实他本身也是个秃子
[00:02:14] 骂别人还是秃驴
[00:02:16] 伸手把竹杖抢过来往磕膝盖上一垫
[00:02:20] 嘎巴
[00:02:21] 把竹杖给掰折
[00:02:24] 回手一拳
[00:02:26] 正打在小和尚后背上
[00:02:28] 把小和尚打的嗷的一声
[00:02:31] 从山门外边打到里边去了
[00:02:35] 那个小和尚见势不好
[00:02:37] 回身就跑
[00:02:40] 就这样
[00:02:41] 鲁智深迈大步进了山门
[00:02:44] 嗯
[00:02:45] 好酒啊好酒
[00:02:53] 到这块
[00:02:53] 风一吹
[00:02:55] 他觉着胸膛里头一闹腾
[00:02:58] 哇一声吐了
[00:03:00] 这家吐的
[00:03:02] 这个臭劲儿就甭提了
[00:03:06] 院里边儿出来进去
[00:03:08] 竟是和尚啊
[00:03:10] 见此情景
[00:03:12] 焉有不弃之理
[00:03:15] 有人急忙禀报了监寺
[00:03:18] 监寺一看
[00:03:20] 啊
[00:03:21] 弥陀佛
[00:03:25] 佛佛佛佛
[00:03:26] 那佛都念不出来了
[00:03:29] 马上聚众
[00:03:31] 三四十人
[00:03:33] 各拿笤帚、棒子
[00:03:37] 把鲁智深给包围了
[00:03:39] 监寺就恨他呀
[00:03:41] 打
[00:03:42] 给我打
[00:03:43] 教育教育这个野东西
[00:03:46] 他是什么和尚
[00:03:48] 他纯粹是个花和尚
[00:03:51] 诶打这之后
[00:03:54] 这绰号传开了
[00:03:56] 花和尚鲁智深
[00:03:59] 就这么得来的名
[00:04:03] 慢说
[00:04:03] 三四十人呢
[00:04:05] 再多一倍
[00:04:07] 也制不服他呀
[00:04:10] 鲁智深一看
[00:04:11] 什么狗娘养的
[00:04:15] 你们想要给老虎捋胡子
[00:04:18] 来吧
[00:04:20] 山家筋骨发懒
[00:04:22] 正好拿你们练达练达
[00:04:27] 一转圈就倒
[00:04:29] 一天就听见哎哟噗通噗通
[00:04:32] 哎哟哎哟通噗通
[00:04:34] 噼里啪啦
[00:04:38] 把这些和尚打的四散奔逃啊
[00:04:42] 鲁智深是哈哈大笑
[00:04:46] 你别看醉成这样了
[00:04:49] 那道儿他还认得
[00:04:51] 晃晃悠悠回到他住那地方去了
[00:04:55] 咱没说吗
[00:04:57] 这是练坐禅的地方
[00:05:00] 100多和尚呢
[00:05:02] 人家照常都在练功
[00:05:04] 屋里头肃肃静静的
[00:05:07] 他咣下进来了
[00:05:09] 呜哇
[00:05:11] 一进门就吐了一地
[00:05:15] 把这些和尚惊的把眼全睁开了
[00:05:18] 迷陀婆啪
[00:05:19] 给抽
[00:05:21] 全把鼻子堵上了
[00:05:24] 领班的大和尚一看
[00:05:26] 这还了得
[00:05:29] 赶紧过来了
[00:05:31] 鲁智深
[00:05:32] 你你你这要干什么
[00:05:35] 去你娘的
[00:05:38] 哀家喝了酒心里难受
[00:05:42] 我要睡觉啊
[00:05:48] 他把大和尚布拉到旁边去来到床边是倒头便睡
[00:05:55] 时间不大
[00:05:56] 他睡着了
[00:05:58] 哎哟
[00:05:59] 这下和尚可不干了
[00:06:01] 这屋也没法儿待呀
[00:06:02] 太臭了
[00:06:04] 连被打的和尚100来人
[00:06:08] 去找老当家的去了
[00:06:11] 真长老闻听一皱眉
[00:06:14] 善哉善哉
[00:06:18] 罪过
[00:06:19] 罪过呀
[00:06:22] 他现在干什么呢
[00:06:24] 他已经睡了
[00:06:26] 让他睡吧
[00:06:29] 酒醒之后把他叫来
[00:06:32] 我要开导于他
[00:06:36] 这些首座监寺
[00:06:38] 不服气儿
[00:06:40] 老当家的
[00:06:42] 您是不是对他太有点偏爱了
[00:06:47] 您都有点儿溺爱不明了
[00:06:50] 这就是把他惯的
[00:06:52] 要不惯他哪有今天
[00:06:55] 尔等休得多说
[00:06:59] 当初我就说过
[00:07:01] 只顾剃度于他
[00:07:04] 此人心地善良
[00:07:07] 秉性刚直
[00:07:10] 虽然时下凶顽
[00:07:12] 命中驳杂
[00:07:14] 酒后却得清净
[00:07:17] 正果非凡
[00:07:20] 汝等不及也
[00:07:23] 大伙儿一听又来了
[00:07:25] 呵
[00:07:26] 这老当家的可气不
[00:07:28] 把这鲁智深捧上了天
[00:07:30] 我们这么老多人都赶不上他
[00:07:34] 这诚心袒护他呀
[00:07:38] 大伙儿是愤愤不服啊
[00:07:41] 等到第二天
[00:07:43] 小和尚来了
[00:07:45] 鲁智深
[00:07:46] 醒醒
[00:07:46] 醒醒
[00:07:47] 鲁智深
[00:07:48] 醒醒
[00:07:49] 和鲁智深
[00:07:50] 这觉睡得香啊
[00:07:52] 听得耳边呼唤
[00:07:55] 揉揉眼睛就翻身坐起来了
[00:07:58] 哎呀
[00:07:59] 好睡呀好睡
[00:08:03] 什么事
[00:08:04] 开饭了你就惦记吃
[00:08:07] 老方丈找你问话
[00:08:11] 就见鲁智深啊
[00:08:13] 一个箭步蹿出去了
[00:08:15] 大伙儿一看
[00:08:16] 还是老当家的好使唤呢
[00:08:18] 你看看他比兔子跑得快
[00:08:21] 哪知道他一转身奔后边***去了
[00:08:25] 憋的
[00:08:26] 等拉完了
[00:08:28] 净完手
[00:08:29] 把衣服规整规整
[00:08:32] 这才来到方丈
[00:08:36] 可这阵儿他酒醒了
[00:08:37] 也知道自己犯了大错了
[00:08:41] 这个鲁智深
[00:08:42] 这人最讲道理不过
[00:08:45] 你别看喝醉了酒耍疯
[00:08:48] 现在他明白了
[00:08:50] 深感内疚啊
[00:08:52] 规规矩矩往拜殿上一跪
[00:08:56] 师傅
[00:08:58] 在上
[00:08:59] 弟子鲁智深
[00:09:01] 参拜老师
[00:09:05] 阿弥陀佛
[00:09:10] 智山呐
[00:09:12] 你知道你犯了什么过错了不
[00:09:16] 弟子知道
[00:09:18] 我违犯了五届的
[00:09:21] 第四届不要贪杯石婚
[00:09:25] 我喝酒了
[00:09:27] 哎
[00:09:30] 你明明知道败坏了佛门的规矩
[00:09:35] 为什么明知故犯呢
[00:09:39] 师傅
[00:09:41] 容弟子回禀
[00:09:43] 我呀
[00:09:44] 嗜酒如命
[00:09:46] 多日不喝酒
[00:09:47] 把我馋坏了
[00:09:49] 实在有点抑制不住了
[00:09:53] 故此我才喝了酒
[00:09:55] 喝完酒
[00:09:56] 我耍疯
[00:09:57] 闯下大祸
[00:09:59] 师傅
[00:10:00] 您处置我吧
[00:10:02] 打骂啊
[00:10:03] 干什么都行
[00:10:06] 老方丈一看这人蛮讲道理呀
[00:10:10] 也罢
[00:10:11] 志差
[00:10:13] 念你初犯
[00:10:16] 看在赵施主的份上
[00:10:19] 也就算了
[00:10:21] 下不为例
[00:10:23] 再不准
[00:10:25] 19
[00:10:26] 你记住了吗
[00:10:27] 弟子不敢
[00:10:29] 弟子不敢
[00:10:32] 好吧
[00:10:33] 你留下来
[00:10:35] 来人
[00:10:36] 准备早膳
[00:10:38] 你看呢
[00:10:41] 老方丈不但没处罚他
[00:10:44] 还准备丰盛的早饭
[00:10:48] 两个人共进早餐
[00:10:52] 把那些和尚气的鼻子都歪了
[00:10:55] 这这这这老当家的糊涂了
[00:10:59] 嘿
[00:11:00] 你要这么惯他
[00:11:01] 往后他更眼里没人了
[00:11:05] 大伙儿是干鼓肚
[00:11:06] 没咒念
[00:11:08] 其实老方丈啊
[00:11:10] 的确对他偏爱
[00:11:13] 你别看鲁智深那样
[00:11:16] 老和尚从心里往外喜欢他
[00:11:20] 他说的真不假
[00:11:23] 他看出来了
[00:11:25] 鲁智深这人口快心直
[00:11:27] 心地善良
[00:11:31] 尤其他看重的是
[00:11:33] 那赵檀月
[00:11:35] 赵施主
[00:11:37] 那有钱呢
[00:11:40] 这是赵施主的表弟
[00:11:43] 要把鲁智深给得罪了
[00:11:46] 不是把财神爷给得罪了
[00:11:50] 那对文殊院的损失也太大了
[00:11:55] 多方面的原因吧
[00:11:57] 所以他老袒护鲁达
[00:12:02] 今儿个吃早饭的时候
[00:12:04] 一边吃
[00:12:05] 老当家的一边给他讲道理
[00:12:09] 就得循循善诱
[00:12:13] 鲁智深一边听着
[00:12:15] 一边点头
[00:12:18] 两个时辰之后
[00:12:19] 饭也吃完了
[00:12:21] 话也讲完了
[00:12:23] 老方丈笑笑呵呵的
[00:12:25] 智山呐
[00:12:26] 去吧
[00:12:27] 往后千万不要破坏佛门的规矩了
[00:12:32] 弟子再也不敢了
[00:12:35] 鲁智深回去了
[00:12:37] 心说
[00:12:37] 嘿
[00:12:38] 这老和尚还真不错
[00:12:41] 对我蛮够意思
[00:12:44] 我以为把我找去了
[00:12:46] 不定得怎么处罚我呢
[00:12:49] 不但没说旁的
[00:12:51] 还请我吃顿饭
[00:12:53] 他低下头
[00:12:55] 回味回味
[00:12:57] 觉着老师傅说那些道理都是对的
[00:13:01] 怪就怪我自己
[00:13:03] 我怎么那么馋
[00:13:06] 我就没有决心改了吗
[00:13:09] 从今以后
[00:13:10] 我再也不要贪杯
[00:13:13] 甚至连想也不要想多的
[00:13:17] 要想喝酒我就掐我自己的大腿
[00:13:23] 书说简短
[00:13:24] 五个月
[00:13:27] 鲁智深没犯错误
[00:13:30] 诶停守规矩
[00:13:32] 和尚没看
[00:13:33] 还行啊
[00:13:35] 老当家的
[00:13:36] 找他谈次话
[00:13:38] 还挺有效力
[00:13:41] 要照这样下去
[00:13:43] 还算个和尚
[00:13:46] 转眼之间
[00:13:48] 到了第二年春天
[00:13:51] 春暖花开
[00:13:53] 万物复苏
[00:13:55] 是大好的季节呀
[00:13:58] 这天
[00:14:00] 鲁智深
[00:14:01] 没事儿
[00:14:02] 来到山门外边
[00:14:04] 吸了几口新鲜的空气
[00:14:08] 看了看寺外的风景
[00:14:10] 哎呀
[00:14:10] 真是风景如画呀
[00:14:15] 鲁智深屈指一算
[00:14:18] 上山快一年了
[00:14:21] 哎呀
[00:14:22] 什么时候是我出头之日呢
[00:14:26] 难道我这一辈子就在这儿当和尚吗
[00:14:31] 要那样
[00:14:32] 我也太有点儿窝囊了
[00:14:35] 哎
[00:14:38] 他心里头又胡思乱想开了
[00:14:41] 诶正在这时候
[00:14:43] 他听着远处有打铁的声
[00:14:48] 叮叮当当叮叮当当叮叮当当叮
[00:14:52] 听了听还挺远
[00:14:54] 有时候这个风啊
[00:14:56] 把这声音给飘来了
[00:15:00] 鲁智深一想
[00:15:02] 哪有铁匠炉啊
[00:15:05] 我这还攒了不少银子
[00:15:07] 这么办吧
[00:15:09] 我让他给我打一条铁禅杖
[00:15:12] 没事儿
[00:15:13] 做练功用的
[00:15:15] 对我去看看
[00:15:18] 他顺着这个声音
[00:15:19] 他就下了山了
[00:15:21] 哎哟
[00:15:22] 一走就是十几里呀
[00:15:25] 你说在山顶
[00:15:26] 怎么听那么真
[00:15:29] 等来到山脚下一看
[00:15:31] 闹了半天
[00:15:32] 是一座小镇店
[00:15:35] 虽然只有一条街
[00:15:37] 还挺热闹
[00:15:39] 做买的做卖的
[00:15:41] 车来人往
[00:15:43] 红男绿女
[00:15:46] 让人目不暇接呀
[00:15:50] 花和尚
[00:15:51] 鲁智深一看
[00:15:52] 高了兴了
[00:15:54] 这半年来的连门都没出
[00:15:57] 这回我得好好溜达溜达
[00:16:01] 他东撒摸撒摸西看一看
[00:16:04] 穿街而过
[00:16:06] 诶
[00:16:07] 真找着那家铁匠炉了
[00:16:11] 翻间门脸儿
[00:16:13] 旁边有个大院
[00:16:14] 支着棚
[00:16:15] 炉子通红啊
[00:16:18] 里边好几个伙计
[00:16:20] 掌钱的掌钱
[00:16:22] 抡垂的抡垂
[00:16:24] 鲁智深背手一看
[00:16:27] 有
[00:16:27] 打了不少半成品
[00:16:30] 都在那儿摆着
[00:16:33] 多数都是农具
[00:16:39] 看那样儿
[00:16:40] 打的还不错
[00:16:42] 他正看着呢
[00:16:44] 有个伙计一抬头
[00:16:46] 冲他一乐
[00:16:48] 师傅
[00:16:49] 你有事儿吗
[00:16:50] 阿弥陀佛
[00:16:54] 我想打造一条禅杖啊
[00:16:58] 你们接活不接活
[00:17:00] 诶师傅请进来吧
[00:17:01] 请进来
[00:17:02] 打什么
[00:17:03] 我们都能打
[00:17:06] 把他让进来
[00:17:07] 搬把椅子
[00:17:08] 他坐下了
[00:17:09] 这伙计是个负责的
[00:17:11] 就问
[00:17:13] 师傅在哪儿出家
[00:17:14] 五台山文殊院呵
[00:17:18] 咱们都是邻居
[00:17:20] 实不相瞒呢
[00:17:23] 我们这一切一切全仰仗着宝山呢
[00:17:28] 请问师傅
[00:17:29] 您要打一条什么样的禅杖
[00:17:32] 有图纸吗
[00:17:35] 什么叫图纸
[00:17:36] 就是图样
[00:17:37] 鲁智深一拨楞脑袋
[00:17:39] 没有
[00:17:41] 反正你们手艺好
[00:17:43] 你们想给打什么禅杖就打什么
[00:17:47] 只要钢口好就行
[00:17:50] 那好嘞
[00:17:51] 您放心大胆交给我们了
[00:17:54] 准保样式新颖
[00:17:56] 您使着是得心应手
[00:18:00] 那好
[00:18:02] 刀你们打不打
[00:18:03] 打呀
[00:18:04] 你没看这有好几把
[00:18:06] 这
[00:18:06] 这我不要
[00:18:07] 我要带鞘的刀
[00:18:11] 就叫借刀吧
[00:18:13] 分量要加重一些
[00:18:16] 行
[00:18:17] 要那样给您打造一把
[00:18:21] 后背尖赤雁翎刀
[00:18:25] 您看怎么样
[00:18:26] 比别的刀加重四两啊
[00:18:30] 不
[00:18:30] 不行不行
[00:18:31] 请请请请
[00:18:32] 要比别的刀重上一倍
[00:18:36] 嗨
[00:18:36] 这可新鲜
[00:18:37] 那您能拿得动啊
[00:18:39] 那玩意儿使着可压手腕子
[00:18:41] 诶
[00:18:42] 越重越好
[00:18:44] 那您那禅杖
[00:18:46] 准备要多少斤的诶
[00:18:51] 100斤
[00:18:52] 你看怎么样
[00:18:54] 伙计一听
[00:18:55] 下地缩脖
[00:18:57] 我说师傅
[00:18:58] 您别开玩笑了
[00:19:00] 哪有使那么重的
[00:19:02] 那是说书讲古
[00:19:05] 要是真的话
[00:19:07] 没有
[00:19:08] 就是关王刀
[00:19:10] 那是举世无双的
[00:19:13] 只有81 斤呢
[00:19:16] 那是祖宗了
[00:19:19] 哪有打100斤的
[00:19:22] 那
[00:19:24] 我不敢跟关王爷比
[00:19:26] 那就打80 斤的吧
[00:19:30] 80 斤也重点
[00:19:32] 诶师傅我给您出个主意
[00:19:35] 干脆我给你打造一条
[00:19:38] 62 斤
[00:19:40] 那就够重的了
[00:19:43] 可是打完之后
[00:19:45] 您别嫌沉呢
[00:19:46] 要废了可不行
[00:19:48] 你还得照样付钱好了
[00:19:51] 就依你打造一条62 斤重的禅杖
[00:19:57] 样式一定要好
[00:19:59] 您包给我们了
[00:20:01] 您要不满意
[00:20:02] 您甭给钱
[00:20:03] 您看好不好
[00:20:04] 我们如数把银子退给你
[00:20:07] 一言为定
[00:20:09] 打造这两样需要多少钱呢
[00:20:12] 不多
[00:20:13] 您给五两白银
[00:20:16] 还真不贵
[00:20:18] 先付钱
[00:20:21] 鲁智深从怀里拿出五两银子
[00:20:25] 给了伙计了
[00:20:26] 问伙计什么时候来取货
[00:20:29] 伙计说快三天之后
[00:20:32] 您还这时候来
[00:20:33] 我们指定就打造完了
[00:20:35] 妥了
[00:20:37] 到时候我要满意
[00:20:39] 必定重重给你赏钱
[00:20:41] 好的
[00:20:42] 师傅
[00:20:43] 我手里有活儿
[00:20:44] 不陪您了
[00:20:45] 您乐意看
[00:20:46] 您就歇会儿
[00:20:47] 不乐意看
[00:20:48] 有事您办事儿去
[00:20:49] 哀家告辞
[00:20:52] 诶鲁智深挺高兴
[00:20:55] 从铁匠炉出来
[00:20:58] 兴致正浓
[00:21:00] 他接茬
[00:21:01] 溜达
[00:21:02] 旁边就是酒馆
[00:21:05] 鲁智深一提鼻子
[00:21:08] 哎呀
[00:21:10] 又想喝酒了
[00:21:13] 一想我已经发了誓不喝酒啊
[00:21:17] 我怎么这馋虫又上来了
[00:21:21] 真他娘的没出息
[00:21:24] 就这样啊
[00:21:25] 偷偷的掐了自己大腿里子一下啊
[00:21:29] 掐的还真疼我
[00:21:31] 他打了个激灵
[00:21:34] 挺胸从酒馆前边过去了
[00:21:37] 不喝
[00:21:39] 看看我自己能管住我自己不
[00:21:43] 没走几步
[00:21:44] 又一家酒馆
[00:21:47] 诶这家这酒坛子还没盖风这一飘啊
[00:21:52] 诶这个酒味这个诱人呢
[00:21:56] 嗯
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