[00:00:00] 本字幕由腾讯音乐天琴实验室独家AI字幕技术生成
[00:00:01] 西伯大头鬼
[00:00:03] 房书安
[00:00:04] 在饭馆吃饭
[00:00:07] 育人
[00:00:08] 一个老者
[00:00:10] 两个人一见如故
[00:00:13] 非常投机
[00:00:15] 这人啊
[00:00:16] 有天生带人缘儿的
[00:00:19] 有不带人缘儿的
[00:00:21] 这玩意儿还不分丑俊
[00:00:24] 你看有的人吗
[00:00:26] 走到哪里都受欢迎
[00:00:28] 有的人走到哪都讨厌
[00:00:31] 就是不该谁不欠谁
[00:00:34] 别人都烦他
[00:00:36] 这就是有没有人员
[00:00:39] AJ 老头儿就有人缘
[00:00:42] 房书安就够挑剔的了
[00:00:45] 怎么瞅这老头儿啊
[00:00:47] 这么带劲
[00:00:49] 所以打开话匣子
[00:00:51] 就弹起没完来了
[00:00:54] 今儿个也打着防传
[00:00:57] 什么事儿也没有
[00:00:58] 浑身上下飘轻
[00:01:01] 喝着酒
[00:01:02] 心里热乎乎的
[00:01:03] 脸上发着烧
[00:01:05] 说几个没完没了
[00:01:09] 俺这老头儿呢
[00:01:10] 什么都爱问
[00:01:12] 也是什么都爱说
[00:01:15] 这就是酒逢知己千杯少
[00:01:18] 话不投机半句多呀
[00:01:22] 谈来谈去
[00:01:23] 谈到神州泪
[00:01:25] 这老头就问
[00:01:27] 那你们开封府
[00:01:30] 都请了谁了
[00:01:32] 你请谁了
[00:01:33] 嘿
[00:01:34] 老头
[00:01:35] 大概
[00:01:35] 也许你知道
[00:01:37] 也许你不知道
[00:01:39] 最厉害的就是少林派吧的名僧之二
[00:01:46] 铜金刚铁罗汉磨成大泥佛
[00:01:51] 欧阳普中的欧阳老剑客
[00:01:55] 那是我们的台柱子
[00:01:58] 其他的
[00:01:59] 乾坤五老
[00:02:01] 中山古老
[00:02:03] 山西二绝
[00:02:05] 云南三老
[00:02:07] 辽东六老
[00:02:09] 喝那多了
[00:02:10] 累死我也介绍不完
[00:02:15] 哦
[00:02:17] 老头儿笑着点了点头
[00:02:21] 这些人
[00:02:22] 我觉着
[00:02:23] 似乎没什么能耐
[00:02:26] 就像你说的
[00:02:27] 你内应
[00:02:28] 台柱子
[00:02:30] 铜金刚铁罗汉
[00:02:31] 磨成大力佛欧阳普中
[00:02:35] 我觉着好像是个饭桶
[00:02:38] 他有什么本事
[00:02:40] 能给你们帮兵助阵啊
[00:02:43] 老头儿
[00:02:45] 你胡说
[00:02:46] Re 白马说话要有分寸
[00:02:50] 您呢
[00:02:51] 最好嘴下留德姑娘
[00:02:54] 你可长疮
[00:02:57] 你还说什么
[00:02:59] 同金刚铁罗汉磨成大力佛
[00:03:02] 欧阳普忠没能耐
[00:03:04] 嘿呀
[00:03:06] 你是孤陋寡闻呐
[00:03:09] 那是少林八大名僧之一啊
[00:03:13] 少林派你听说过吗
[00:03:15] 那十分了得呀
[00:03:18] 讲的是里练一口气
[00:03:21] 外练筋骨皮
[00:03:23] 大口天罡气
[00:03:25] 小口天罡气
[00:03:27] 大力昆仑嚷呢
[00:03:30] 都捐了
[00:03:31] 算了算了
[00:03:32] 喝酒喝酒
[00:03:34] 我说了半天了你也不懂
[00:03:38] 老头也了了a 是
[00:03:41] 我是有点外行
[00:03:43] 反正什么我都不懂
[00:03:46] 我就知道你说了这么半天
[00:03:48] Na 没什么高人
[00:03:51] 我真替你们开封府的担心呢
[00:03:54] 哎
[00:03:54] 其实呢
[00:03:56] 我说这也没用
[00:03:57] 我担那心干嘛呀
[00:03:58] 打歪了打上了跟我有什么关系呢
[00:04:01] 对不对呢
[00:04:02] 咱这是闲谈
[00:04:04] 想起什么说什么
[00:04:05] 天一句地一句
[00:04:08] 我想你也不能见怪
[00:04:10] 那怎么能呢
[00:04:11] 闲谈吗
[00:04:12] 无拘无束
[00:04:13] 您有您的看法
[00:04:15] 对不对
[00:04:16] 咱随便讲
[00:04:19] 我说
[00:04:20] 少爷
[00:04:22] 有没有
[00:04:24] 峨嵋剑侠参加还没来呢
[00:04:29] 我们下了请贴吗
[00:04:31] 但是可能是道远呢
[00:04:34] 也不是为什么都没到
[00:04:37] 那你们都请的谁啊
[00:04:38] 哎
[00:04:39] 怎么辣
[00:04:41] 白云剑客夏侯仁那是上三门的总门长
[00:04:45] 听说过吗
[00:04:47] 夏侯仁
[00:04:50] 没听说过
[00:04:52] 怎么个总门
[00:04:53] 长黑上三门是什么你懂吗
[00:04:57] 就是形意、八卦、太极
[00:05:00] 三个人合在一起
[00:05:02] 叫上三门
[00:05:05] 在武林当中
[00:05:06] 上三门首屈一指
[00:05:10] 我刚才说的白云剑客夏侯仁就是总门长啊
[00:05:15] 还有他师弟一字峨眉女马凤宫
[00:05:21] 还有个女的叫寒江孤雁柏玲
[00:05:24] 女剑客上
[00:05:25] 云凤还有个最厉害的叫白衣神童小剑魔白老白女子
[00:05:33] 这你听说过吗
[00:05:36] 哦
[00:05:36] 这几个吗
[00:05:38] 我都查的
[00:05:39] 好像听说过
[00:05:41] 还有谁哦
[00:05:44] 还有冰山北极岛的呢
[00:05:47] 长发道人雪如莲
[00:05:49] 你听说过吗
[00:05:51] 飞飞上人诸葛随霹雳
[00:05:54] 狂风水上浮舟
[00:05:56] 诸葛元英震北海恶面
[00:05:59] 昆仑叟上官方癌呢
[00:06:03] 我说这有什么用呢
[00:06:05] 有的是
[00:06:06] 都得给我们帮忙
[00:06:09] 你说
[00:06:09] 你还替我们干什么行
[00:06:14] 俺也是
[00:06:15] 人是不少
[00:06:17] 就你这一说
[00:06:19] 天花乱坠的
[00:06:20] 似乎挺热闹
[00:06:22] 但我总觉着
[00:06:24] 似乎这些人都没有什么真格的本事
[00:06:29] 比起我嘞
[00:06:31] 都差一大快
[00:06:34] 老头儿这话一出口
[00:06:35] 不要紧
[00:06:36] 房书安刚喝了口酒
[00:06:39] 还没等咽下去
[00:06:42] 叫老头儿把他气得全喷出来了
[00:06:47] Pen 了老头一脸
[00:06:49] 老头儿往旁边一闪身
[00:06:51] 赶紧掏出手绢擦
[00:06:54] 我发现你这怎么了
[00:06:58] 哎哟我的妈呀
[00:07:00] 我说我找了多少年
[00:07:02] 我都没找着
[00:07:04] 您找什么
[00:07:05] 我找牛皮大王啊
[00:07:08] 今儿我总算碰巧了
[00:07:10] 踅摸着
[00:07:12] 您真能吹
[00:07:14] 您吹得咕咕嘎咕嘎
[00:07:17] 我就更能吹了
[00:07:19] 你比我还强的十倍
[00:07:23] 法爷
[00:07:24] 你怎么这么说话
[00:07:25] 这么说话是客气的
[00:07:28] 我
[00:07:28] 老头
[00:07:29] 你越来越不像话了
[00:07:32] 你说什么
[00:07:33] 这帮人加一块儿都不如你
[00:07:37] 嗯
[00:07:38] 我是这么说的
[00:07:40] 我说您那是哪个门户的
[00:07:43] 您是哪位
[00:07:46] 你有什么本事敢说这大话
[00:07:49] 啊
[00:07:53] 法爷
[00:07:55] 大概你是挑理啦
[00:07:58] 我说这些话您不爱听啊
[00:08:01] 当然不爱听了
[00:08:03] 是骡子是马得牵出来溜溜
[00:08:07] 你说你比人家强
[00:08:09] 你强在什么地方
[00:08:11] 对不对呢
[00:08:13] 那我坐这儿我也能说
[00:08:15] 我说武林
[00:08:17] 所有练武的人都不如我
[00:08:21] 那好使吗
[00:08:22] 我说横推800无对手
[00:08:26] 轩辕重出武圣人于和于九年是饭桶
[00:08:30] 我说封杀那雪不粘
[00:08:32] 是汉同我说81 门总文章
[00:08:36] 普渡普老剑客也是赞同德行啊
[00:08:40] 聂高人可有罪
[00:08:44] 说的严重一点
[00:08:46] 阴天下雨打雷的时候都得小心挨挨雷击
[00:08:53] 哈哈哈哈
[00:08:56] 法爷
[00:08:58] 行
[00:08:59] 你这人是直肠子
[00:09:02] 有什么说什么
[00:09:04] 老朽我也是直肠子
[00:09:07] 有什么也说什么
[00:09:10] 我这人G 不骄傲
[00:09:13] 也不爱吹牛皮
[00:09:15] 你讲话呢
[00:09:17] 没拿出几手来
[00:09:19] 你不相信
[00:09:22] 这也是实情
[00:09:24] 那么我拿出几手来
[00:09:26] 你得评价评价
[00:09:29] 可以吗
[00:09:30] 你听啊
[00:09:32] 那你说
[00:09:33] 你想拿出手什么来
[00:09:36] 就这样吧
[00:09:37] 咱俩在酒桌上
[00:09:40] 有这么多人吃饭
[00:09:42] 能说把衣服脱了动五八超吗
[00:09:47] 说为了这点儿事儿
[00:09:48] 咱饭不吃了
[00:09:50] 找个没人的地去跳跳的也不合适
[00:09:56] 我说就在这酒桌上去解决问题呢
[00:10:00] 行啊
[00:10:01] 那你冷一声我听听
[00:10:04] 嗯
[00:10:05] 这样吧
[00:10:07] 你刚才说了那么多
[00:10:08] 那么多人
[00:10:11] 也就是说
[00:10:11] 吴亦好背
[00:10:13] 那是啊
[00:10:14] 就是武艺高
[00:10:17] 他们的武艺高高不过我去
[00:10:19] 你信吗
[00:10:20] 我不信啊
[00:10:22] 不信
[00:10:24] 我说他们不高
[00:10:25] 什么原因
[00:10:27] 他们D 交手
[00:10:30] AJ 白刃格斗
[00:10:32] 用进手的招数
[00:10:34] 说长厉害得拍上
[00:10:37] 才能见想得
[00:10:39] 碰上才能受伤
[00:10:42] 可我跟他们不一样
[00:10:45] 我离得多远把吧
[00:10:48] 这一晃他就得趴下
[00:10:51] 不用粘上它就得倒霉
[00:10:55] 你说是比他们高不
[00:10:57] 嗯嗯嗯嗯
[00:11:00] 老头你有病吧
[00:11:02] 没钱看病
[00:11:03] 我拿钱行不
[00:11:05] 你是不是脑袋发热
[00:11:06] 胡说八道
[00:11:08] 那
[00:11:09] 那怎么他呢就放吧
[00:11:11] 他就能趴下呢
[00:11:12] 我怎么就没听说过呢
[00:11:15] 招啊
[00:11:17] 正因为你没听说过
[00:11:19] 你才感觉到奇怪
[00:11:21] 你才说我吹牛
[00:11:24] 你要亲眼目睹
[00:11:26] 你就不会这么说
[00:11:29] 不信咱俩试验试验
[00:11:31] 哎
[00:11:32] 这不
[00:11:32] 咱俩坐到对面骂
[00:11:34] 看看
[00:11:35] 有鸡翅
[00:11:36] 你往后拉了椅子
[00:11:38] 我也往后拉了椅子
[00:11:40] 保持一定距离
[00:11:42] 好吗
[00:11:44] 我也不用打你一巴掌
[00:11:47] 我弹你个脑吧
[00:11:50] 来这么一下
[00:11:52] 你看能谈上谈不上
[00:11:56] 我还真就不听邪啦
[00:11:59] 好嘞
[00:12:00] 那么呢
[00:12:01] 咱马上就演练
[00:12:04] 这老头啊
[00:12:06] 往后拉了椅子
[00:12:08] 防护安哪里啦
[00:12:10] 两个人的距离能有六尺左右
[00:12:13] 中间隔着饭桌
[00:12:16] 在看老头儿把俩手张开
[00:12:19] 桑耶
[00:12:21] 你看我手里有东西吗
[00:12:23] 没有
[00:12:24] 再看看我手背有东西吗
[00:12:27] 没有啊
[00:12:28] 没有在看我的袖子里头有东西吗
[00:12:32] 没有好
[00:12:33] 没有你上演
[00:12:37] 老头儿说着
[00:12:38] 把右手举起来
[00:12:40] 用拇指和中指扣在一起
[00:12:44] 看见没
[00:12:46] 我要谈你的老包
[00:12:49] 脑门儿啊
[00:12:51] 你可做好了
[00:12:52] 别谈个跟头
[00:12:54] 我现在就要演练了啊
[00:12:57] 那行
[00:12:58] 那行行行
[00:12:59] 我就挨你一下子
[00:13:01] 我看老头儿你吹牛吹到什么程度来吧
[00:13:07] 在看房书安坐
[00:13:09] 稳的了腰板儿
[00:13:11] 拔的倍儿直
[00:13:12] 把细花大头一晃
[00:13:14] 小帽子往后脑勺推了推
[00:13:17] 露出他的脑门儿
[00:13:19] 来
[00:13:19] 您往这儿来吧
[00:13:21] 这地方挺宽敞
[00:13:23] 来了啊
[00:13:25] 你可做本的啊
[00:13:27] A 说来就来了
[00:13:32] 啊
[00:13:34] 就见老头子一盘
[00:13:38] 防川就觉得脑门子挡了一下
[00:13:42] 给小榔头敲了一下箱子
[00:13:46] 老唐在那椅子上一蹦
[00:13:48] 多高慢一慢
[00:13:52] 把许多吃饭的人都吓一跳
[00:13:54] 哇
[00:13:55] 怎么了这是
[00:13:57] 有的站起来往这边看
[00:14:00] 防川也顾及不了
[00:14:03] 就觉得眼前直冒金星
[00:14:06] 两耳呼呼生风啊
[00:14:09] 脑门子上火烧火燎的难受
[00:14:13] 用手一划了块鼓起个疙瘩
[00:14:17] 这疙瘩跟算盘子儿差不多少
[00:14:22] 还有
[00:14:24] 房书安茜说
[00:14:26] 今儿个我遇上鬼了
[00:14:28] 不能啊
[00:14:30] 光天化日
[00:14:32] 朗朗乾坤
[00:14:33] 哪来的鬼
[00:14:35] 要不这老头是老狐狸精
[00:14:38] 它使用的什么法术
[00:14:41] 离着我这么远
[00:14:42] 谈老公怎么弹这么疼呢
[00:14:46] 难道武林界还有这种功夫
[00:14:50] 简直不可思议啊
[00:14:53] 老方赤露的多
[00:14:54] 十把椅子往前拉
[00:14:57] Li la
[00:14:58] 老头儿也把椅子拉回到原位
[00:15:02] 两个人保持着一定距离
[00:15:04] 中间还是这桌子
[00:15:06] 老头儿了方言
[00:15:09] 疼吗
[00:15:10] 疼啊
[00:15:11] 没那么疼的
[00:15:12] 钻心透骨
[00:15:14] 哎哟我的妈呀
[00:15:16] 哎呀
[00:15:16] 这脑袋都大了三圈
[00:15:19] 方炎
[00:15:21] 别着急
[00:15:22] 我现在就教你
[00:15:24] 不疼
[00:15:24] 把手放下
[00:15:26] 猜猜
[00:15:27] 这老头儿吐了口吐沫
[00:15:30] 网防鼠按脑门子上一摸
[00:15:33] 嗯
[00:15:34] 用手一摁
[00:15:36] 还疼五年
[00:15:39] 哎
[00:15:40] 就不疼
[00:15:41] 累我
[00:15:42] 你会嫌弃啊
[00:15:46] 老爷子
[00:15:47] 你是不是用暗器打击我呀
[00:15:49] 你可能不对啊
[00:15:51] 你跟我玩发火
[00:15:54] 法爷
[00:15:55] 老朽胡子都白了
[00:15:58] 能说话不算数
[00:16:01] 你不信再检查检查
[00:16:03] 咱再来一回
[00:16:05] 我是用手弹的还是用个案ti 来了
[00:16:08] 试试跟一下
[00:16:12] 我就受不了了
[00:16:16] 我
[00:16:16] 老爷子你练的这叫啥功夫
[00:16:19] 那除了弹脑崩之外
[00:16:22] 还有什么
[00:16:24] 长法呀
[00:16:25] 弹脑崩儿算什么
[00:16:27] 是你逼得我没办法了
[00:16:29] 开个玩笑
[00:16:32] 真要动手
[00:16:33] 我用双掌
[00:16:36] 拿这个牌才实惠
[00:16:40] 妹妹
[00:16:40] 你你这么打能有多大的劲儿哎
[00:16:44] 跟其他人史的长法是一样的
[00:16:48] 什么金沙掌、银砂掌、铜砂掌铁砂掌
[00:16:53] 各种掌法都是一个道理
[00:16:57] 不过我这不用挨上就能打着
[00:17:00] 跟他们不同
[00:17:01] D 在于此
[00:17:03] 你刚才说的那帮人会这个吗
[00:17:07] 你听
[00:17:08] 哪个人会这种功夫
[00:17:10] 没听说过
[00:17:11] 真没听说过
[00:17:13] 我说
[00:17:13] 老爷子你真是个老神仙呢
[00:17:15] 你呢
[00:17:16] 可了不得哎
[00:17:18] 我老爷子
[00:17:20] 请问您仙乡何处尊姓大名
[00:17:25] 哎
[00:17:26] 我是种地的农村小老头儿
[00:17:31] 我哪来的大饼
[00:17:34] 旁人也不认识我我也不认识旁人
[00:17:38] 我就是种完地了
[00:17:39] 没事儿在家呆着
[00:17:41] 吃饱了撑的就瞎啄磨
[00:17:43] 就练出这么一套功夫来
[00:17:46] 你骗我
[00:17:47] 这不是实话
[00:17:49] 呢
[00:17:50] 老爷子尊姓大名
[00:17:51] 能赏起来吗
[00:17:53] 无名少姓
[00:17:55] 你实在要记不住了呢
[00:17:57] 你就管我叫无名氏就可以了
[00:18:02] 我老爷子开什么玩笑
[00:18:04] 我求你了
[00:18:05] 你姓什么告诉我就行
[00:18:07] 无名氏
[00:18:08] 无名氏方言
[00:18:11] 别往下问
[00:18:12] 我要说不说的事儿
[00:18:15] 你问的海枯石烂我也不能说
[00:18:18] 那好了
[00:18:20] 我这个人也有自尊心
[00:18:22] 绝不强人所难
[00:18:25] 哎呀
[00:18:26] 我老爷们
[00:18:27] 你可真了不起
[00:18:28] 怎么办
[00:18:29] 今儿我请客
[00:18:31] 这饭钱我掏了
[00:18:33] 这还不说我老爷子
[00:18:36] 能不能跟我一块儿走啊
[00:18:39] 上哪儿去
[00:18:40] 跟我到秦家老店呢
[00:18:43] 我们请了100多人呢
[00:18:46] 都在亲家老店
[00:18:48] 我领您去见识见识这些高人
[00:18:52] 也让大伙儿开开眼见见您
[00:18:55] 谁让咱是新交的朋友呢
[00:18:58] 哎
[00:18:59] 你也露两手
[00:19:00] 让他们开开眼
[00:19:02] 我仿佛还能交上你这样的朋友
[00:19:05] 我脸上也增光
[00:19:08] 不必不必方言
[00:19:10] 方才我没说吗
[00:19:12] 我是农村来的
[00:19:15] 见不得大世面
[00:19:17] 见的人多了
[00:19:18] 我有点儿发傻
[00:19:21] 说什么我都不会说
[00:19:24] 岂不被人耻笑啊
[00:19:26] A 再者一说
[00:19:29] 我见不见他们有什么关系
[00:19:32] 人家见不见我有什么关系
[00:19:35] 没必要
[00:19:38] 我不去不去
[00:19:39] 不去
[00:19:40] 不去
[00:19:40] 不去
[00:19:42] 我姥爷吧
[00:19:43] 既然话说到这儿了
[00:19:46] 您了看我不合适
[00:19:48] 你也不能跟我到处真情
[00:19:50] 也不能露出您的决议
[00:19:53] 这话是这意思吗
[00:19:55] 是啊
[00:19:56] 咱俩投缘对不对啊
[00:19:59] 既然投缘对劲儿
[00:20:02] 我想请您给我帮个忙
[00:20:05] 行吗
[00:20:06] 行了
[00:20:07] 你说吧
[00:20:08] 帮什么忙
[00:20:10] 但我这人没啥能耐
[00:20:12] 竟挨欺负
[00:20:15] 可我呢
[00:20:16] 自尊心挺强
[00:20:18] 还老想出人头地
[00:20:20] 干点轰轰烈烈的大事
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