[00:00:00] 本字幕由腾讯音乐天琴实验室独家AI字幕技术生成
[00:00:03] 感谢各位
[00:00:03] 嗯
[00:00:04] 这个谦儿哥好长时间没睡觉啊
[00:00:08] 也不知道他干嘛去了
[00:00:11] 我陪着您待着
[00:00:12] 哎
[00:00:15] 来了这些人啊
[00:00:16] 看着大伙儿打心里就高兴
[00:00:18] 是捧
[00:00:20] 真支持
[00:00:21] 对
[00:00:21] 多听相声有好处
[00:00:23] 嗯
[00:00:23] 多听相声说明您爱国
[00:00:25] 爱国
[00:00:26] 5000年的传统文化都在相声里得到体现
[00:00:29] 嗯啊
[00:00:30] 你现在来说好多人到不了现场
[00:00:33] 嗯
[00:00:33] 网上下载也能听
[00:00:35] 哪儿都有啊
[00:00:36] 好多人在MP3 里装的都是相声啊
[00:00:39] 喜欢这个吗
[00:00:40] 方便
[00:00:40] 对来不了剧场
[00:00:42] 没事儿一样能听
[00:00:43] 拿起来
[00:00:44] 时代在发展
[00:00:45] 社会在进步
[00:00:46] 嗯
[00:00:46] 你当初
[00:00:47] 你你敢想象呃
[00:00:48] MP 3
[00:00:49] 那时候哪有啊
[00:00:50] 没有啊
[00:00:51] 没有当年懂得什么叫健身吗
[00:00:54] 那时候也没有你照相机
[00:00:56] 100年前没有
[00:00:58] 有也没这么好是
[00:01:00] 而且没有照相
[00:01:01] 这人废话
[00:01:06] 嗨
[00:01:09] 快点
[00:01:09] 照我坚持不了多一会儿啊
[00:01:11] 他们不干啊
[00:01:13] 糖尿病身体不成
[00:01:14] 不挨着这个手机过去有吗
[00:01:18] 没有
[00:01:18] 你不是说过去了
[00:01:19] 你倒退几年
[00:01:21] 倒退个十年八年
[00:01:22] 是这么普及吗
[00:01:23] 这根本就不是这样
[00:01:24] 没有对
[00:01:26] 当初那个年头儿
[00:01:27] 就是你祖父那会儿
[00:01:29] 你爷爷那会儿解放前了啊
[00:01:31] 那是啊
[00:01:32] 他爷爷在村子里负责点什么工作对有点儿什么事儿
[00:01:35] 拿大铁皮喇叭就起个扩音子
[00:01:38] 老乡们都出来吧
[00:01:40] 皇军不抢粮食
[00:01:43] 汉奸呢
[00:01:44] 是怎么着
[00:01:44] 这就是他爷爷
[00:01:45] 不是干这个的
[00:01:47] 后来就有电了啊
[00:01:49] 村里也装那个大喇叭队
[00:01:52] 有一个人在屋里喊带电了他
[00:01:54] 他不是富
[00:01:55] 在村子里就喊着他大爷也负责村东头张寡妇、李寡妇
[00:01:59] 王寡妇再不交电钱
[00:02:02] 晚上我踹你们家门去或踹寡妇门呢
[00:02:06] 啊
[00:02:07] 干这事儿
[00:02:08] 时代在发展
[00:02:09] 现在这个手机人手一个啊
[00:02:12] 人都有
[00:02:13] 一天比一天先进队
[00:02:15] 包括彩铃
[00:02:16] 彩铃也多呀
[00:02:17] 前两年哪有啊
[00:02:18] 短信彩铃没有
[00:02:19] 现在各种各样
[00:02:20] 我手机就是是吗
[00:02:22] 每一个不同的朋友来的电话声音都不一样
[00:02:24] 有区别啊
[00:02:26] 啷哩个哩个啷哩个啷哩个啷
[00:02:31] 这是曲艺圈的朋友哦
[00:02:33] 单弦儿来唱
[00:02:34] 单弦儿的
[00:02:34] 嗯
[00:02:35] T t touch 令他令他令他唱快板儿的黑
[00:02:40] 起来
[00:02:41] 砰砰我媳妇儿啊
[00:02:44] 他长期受压迫的结果
[00:02:46] 嗯嗯
[00:02:47] 爸爸接电话吧
[00:02:49] 这个雨下给我换一个铃声啊
[00:02:56] 就说这意思啊
[00:02:58] 什么意思啊
[00:02:59] 时代在发展
[00:03:00] 社会在进步啊
[00:03:02] 人们的生活水平提高了
[00:03:04] 人往高处走水往低处流
[00:03:07] 对人都想好
[00:03:08] 嗯
[00:03:09] 都想
[00:03:10] 成功做点儿大事
[00:03:12] 是女老师就算不错
[00:03:14] 我一般在相声界里边儿
[00:03:16] 这就算头沟了吧
[00:03:18] 不敢这么说
[00:03:19] 嗯
[00:03:19] 够了
[00:03:19] 刚封了
[00:03:20] 哪儿的事了不起
[00:03:21] 我们剧场那个经理说
[00:03:23] 别的演员不行
[00:03:24] 谁不行
[00:03:25] 看不上
[00:03:26] 唯独体育老师啊
[00:03:27] 他挑三个大拇哥
[00:03:28] 夸了剧场经理
[00:03:31] 三只手有个六指儿
[00:03:33] 嗨
[00:03:33] 捂脸了不起
[00:03:35] 没有他
[00:03:35] 家庭也很好
[00:03:36] 熏陶老师的父亲们啊
[00:03:39] 在别家门这儿
[00:03:42] 没有那么些人
[00:03:43] 他父亲总爱倚着门说话
[00:03:45] 嗨
[00:03:46] 那不算于老师的父亲
[00:03:49] 王老爷子
[00:03:50] 嗯
[00:03:50] 在这北京来说法什么呀
[00:03:54] 我姓于
[00:03:55] 我爸爸也得姓于
[00:03:56] 还有这么巧的事儿
[00:03:59] 不是巧劲儿派出所有人挑的是吧
[00:04:02] 没有啊
[00:04:03] 子承父姓都得这么说
[00:04:04] 他们老爷子那是了不起的人
[00:04:06] 嗯
[00:04:07] 普通话能有这样的儿子吗
[00:04:08] 嗨
[00:04:09] 阿政府也很器重他父亲
[00:04:11] 那倒是啊
[00:04:12] 政府说了
[00:04:13] 只要能找到他爸爸在哪儿
[00:04:15] 给10万块
[00:04:17] 要能送来给的还多
[00:04:19] 嗯嗯
[00:04:20] 鸡饭呢是怎么着
[00:04:21] 了不起啊
[00:04:22] 所以他有这个成绩
[00:04:24] 中国相声界第一个买车的人叫余谦
[00:04:27] 买的早点
[00:04:28] 那些个腕儿还蹬自行车
[00:04:30] 拿着月票的时候啊
[00:04:31] 于老师已经都都开上车了
[00:04:34] 嗨
[00:04:34] 我买了一辆
[00:04:35] 那叫聚力三邦子呀
[00:04:40] 我骑三轮车
[00:04:41] 他那些个腕儿还拿月票
[00:04:42] 你有这就不错了
[00:04:43] 我还不如拿月票坐公汽喝着呢
[00:04:46] 就是属于自己想上哪儿上哪儿去啊
[00:04:49] 就是冬天冷啊
[00:04:51] 车里边儿套一炉子前玻璃开一窟窿
[00:04:54] 走烟囱
[00:04:55] 嚯后斗儿拉200块红梅
[00:04:56] 嘟嘟嘟嘟嘟嘟嘟
[00:04:58] 暖和一冬天是自己烧了
[00:05:00] 那就啊
[00:05:01] 后来就有钱了
[00:05:02] 那就换了一辆新的巨力
[00:05:04] 嗨
[00:05:06] 我换一个四个轮的
[00:05:07] 怎么样啊
[00:05:08] 拉着一个备胎
[00:05:09] 备胎管什么用啊
[00:05:11] 到今天于老师更了不得了啊
[00:05:13] 穿的也很讲究
[00:05:14] 嗯
[00:05:15] 吃的也最好
[00:05:16] 吃的什么东西下来
[00:05:17] 他先吃什么啊
[00:05:19] 了不起住的房子也很好啊
[00:05:21] 他住的房子也很好啊
[00:05:23] 楼上楼下四层楼是700平米
[00:05:25] 带魔帝的王乐
[00:05:27] 我把三蹦子搬屋去了
[00:05:29] 又不是怎么了
[00:05:31] 哎
[00:05:31] 那个就是一小门儿开开之后进去能哦
[00:05:33] 电梯电梯
[00:05:34] 嗨带电梯的您说清楚了
[00:05:37] 我向你学吧
[00:05:38] 谈不上好吗没有
[00:05:40] 因为我一直我就认识这么句话就
[00:05:42] 嗯你高人有罪
[00:05:44] 这对能耐大就是能耐大
[00:05:45] 你不服人呐
[00:05:46] 不行
[00:05:46] 骂街不解决问题啊哎
[00:05:49] 我没用像于老师学吧
[00:05:51] 我会成为一个出类拔萃的人
[00:05:54] 您啊
[00:05:54] 嗯我会都是我本身来说
[00:05:56] 我这人品质很好啊
[00:05:58] 那是基本
[00:05:59] 哎你看我这个人这么讲吧
[00:06:00] 啊走到街上看一大皮包
[00:06:02] 打开一看都是钱
[00:06:03] 是别人就拿着跑了
[00:06:04] 嗯
[00:06:05] 这是我
[00:06:06] 等失主
[00:06:07] 哎
[00:06:07] 这就对了
[00:06:08] 嗯
[00:06:09] 拾金不昧这四个字儿说的是我
[00:06:12] 您能做到等失主好施主要说不要我再要
[00:06:16] 嗨人
[00:06:17] 凭什么不要啊
[00:06:19] 您您见着人跟人怎么说呀
[00:06:22] 你别跟他说呀
[00:06:24] 啊
[00:06:25] 那您还等什么
[00:06:26] 施主啊
[00:06:26] 这儿你等他过去
[00:06:27] 哦
[00:06:27] 确定是他
[00:06:28] 他走了你再回家
[00:06:30] 好吗
[00:06:30] 您这钱拿得真踏实
[00:06:32] 我
[00:06:32] 我会成功的吧
[00:06:33] 嗯
[00:06:34] 我会成为一个出类拔萃的人呢
[00:06:36] 那你有什么本事啊
[00:06:37] 嘿
[00:06:38] 怎么了
[00:06:39] 你欺负人
[00:06:39] 你这是怎么欺负人了
[00:06:41] 从这些人给我下不来台没有
[00:06:43] 我就是问一问呢
[00:06:44] 你这
[00:06:44] 你这说的是人话
[00:06:45] 你有什么撇辣子
[00:06:46] 你有什么本事
[00:06:47] 你这
[00:06:48] 你这叫侮辱我你知道吗
[00:06:49] 怎么侮辱我一世英名毁于你手
[00:06:51] 什么英明啊
[00:06:52] 得亏沫没有
[00:06:54] 没有我悔什么呀
[00:06:56] 有也毁你手里边儿了
[00:06:57] 这不是没有吗
[00:06:58] 我心灵手巧啊
[00:06:59] 为什么呀我
[00:07:00] 我会切羊肉片儿
[00:07:02] 啊
[00:07:03] 我还会切牛肉片哦
[00:07:05] 还会磨刀
[00:07:06] 磨完刀切片
[00:07:08] 还切牛肉片
[00:07:09] 别切了
[00:07:09] 能干一厨师去不就完了
[00:07:11] 对呀
[00:07:11] 可以呀
[00:07:12] 行行出状元嘛
[00:07:14] 对吗
[00:07:14] 我们有一个同行的一个一个大姐啊
[00:07:17] 也是厨师
[00:07:18] 谁呀
[00:07:19] 大长今啊大长今
[00:07:22] 韩国韩国远道远跟
[00:07:25] 那通过精湛的厨艺啊
[00:07:26] 就把皇上都勾搭到手了啊
[00:07:29] 哦
[00:07:29] 我通过我这厨艺啊
[00:07:31] 我怎么弄俩娘娘一块儿过日子呢
[00:07:34] 心还真大
[00:07:35] 弄俩娘娘
[00:07:36] 嗯
[00:07:36] 有一正公益片的啊
[00:07:38] 咱别想这个啦
[00:07:39] 嗯
[00:07:39] 我
[00:07:39] 我很愿意这样啊
[00:07:41] 我开了一个孩子一个饭店
[00:07:42] 好韩国料理
[00:07:44] 嗯
[00:07:44] 我叫小长今
[00:07:45] 小常接开张
[00:07:47] 客人来了
[00:07:47] 啊
[00:07:48] 来了
[00:07:48] 卤煮怎么还卖卤煮啊
[00:07:50] 还以为跟小肠陈是哥们儿呢
[00:07:53] 好吗不是连锁店
[00:07:54] 这个
[00:07:54] 我我想了
[00:07:55] 我我得讨个吉利
[00:07:57] 甭讨吉利
[00:07:57] 我得先讨一好的
[00:07:59] 好的吉利的兆头
[00:08:01] 对
[00:08:01] 你看人家都是请个请个
[00:08:04] 那个跟屋里空着
[00:08:05] 我怎么就不行呢
[00:08:06] 你也可以想想
[00:08:07] 干大事业
[00:08:08] 先讨一个吉利怎么讨
[00:08:09] 北京西山有一座古庙
[00:08:11] 哦
[00:08:12] 里面有一老老神仙吧
[00:08:13] 老和尚的货
[00:08:14] 说话很灵啊
[00:08:16] 他那儿有那个戴着那个护身符啊
[00:08:19] 对啊
[00:08:19] 我去求一个吧
[00:08:20] 请一个去
[00:08:21] 我请一个
[00:08:22] 已经很虔诚
[00:08:23] 对
[00:08:23] 早晨五点钟我就起床了
[00:08:25] 那么早前程吗
[00:08:27] 嗯
[00:08:27] 这是很重要的
[00:08:28] 嗯
[00:08:28] 你见过咱们西藏的喇嘛
[00:08:30] 知道人家那磕长头
[00:08:31] 嗯
[00:08:32] 那就说明是虔诚
[00:08:33] 对了
[00:08:33] 啪就扔那儿了
[00:08:35] 没摔那么狠啊
[00:08:36] 这不是人家真的夸
[00:08:38] 就磕头
[00:08:39] 对我以后要发财了
[00:08:40] 我家里养六个喇嘛干嘛呀
[00:08:42] 擦地啊
[00:08:44] 拿喇叭当墩布用啊
[00:08:46] 干净干净呢
[00:08:48] 您先后世那是以后的事儿了啊
[00:08:50] 我先说眼前吧
[00:08:51] 对我
[00:08:51] 我先去上西山
[00:08:53] 五点出来
[00:08:54] 车坏了哟
[00:08:55] 你这事儿闹的啊
[00:08:56] 呃
[00:08:57] 走着去
[00:08:58] 步行走着
[00:08:59] 去也去喝
[00:09:00] 心要虔诚吗
[00:09:01] 嗯
[00:09:02] 走到西山
[00:09:03] 中午12点
[00:09:04] 嗯
[00:09:04] 一上午的功夫
[00:09:05] 你这
[00:09:06] 这心
[00:09:06] 够虔诚了吧
[00:09:07] 可以啦
[00:09:08] 够虔诚吧
[00:09:08] 嗯
[00:09:09] 迈步走
[00:09:10] 一进庙
[00:09:11] 小和尚迎出来了
[00:09:12] 啊
[00:09:12] 施主从哪儿来啊啊
[00:09:14] 我说
[00:09:14] 打东土大唐而来
[00:09:16] 哈哈
[00:09:16] 取经来了
[00:09:18] 开玩笑啊
[00:09:18] 就是开玩笑
[00:09:19] 您到底是来求签呢啊
[00:09:21] 还是做宝剑呢
[00:09:23] 什么寺庙啊
[00:09:25] 这是
[00:09:25] 怎么还要做保健呢
[00:09:27] 这里头
[00:09:28] 这这庙叫宝剑寺吗
[00:09:30] 什么保健四
[00:09:31] 想当初一个传说吗
[00:09:32] 越王勾践啊
[00:09:34] 构建啊啊
[00:09:35] 有谁构建呢
[00:09:37] 还挺贱的
[00:09:38] 就是回大宝剑杀人吗
[00:09:40] 然后就那件我不听力能切羊肉片儿
[00:09:43] 白切羊肉吃啊你
[00:09:45] 你不懂这个呀
[00:09:46] 我是不懂您有多少科学
[00:09:48] 这都是这寺庙里的您
[00:09:50] 所以他后来按着宝剑跟那儿供着
[00:09:52] 盖着庙叫宝剑寺
[00:09:54] 哦
[00:09:54] 我们来求得呢
[00:09:55] 小保健啊
[00:09:56] 护身符儿坐着小个
[00:09:57] 拿红绳子系这好护身符吗
[00:09:59] 嗯
[00:09:59] 小保健吧啊
[00:10:01] 就别提这个了啊
[00:10:02] 你们怎么愿意求这个啊
[00:10:04] 我求保健来呢
[00:10:05] 哎
[00:10:05] 您跟我来上边来进去吧啊
[00:10:07] 老师傅在后边儿了啊
[00:10:09] 拐弯抹角到后边禅堂老和尚跟这儿坐着喝大长眉毛噢
[00:10:14] 到地下
[00:10:15] 嗯
[00:10:16] 这坐着啊
[00:10:17] 对过坐
[00:10:18] 一姑娘都这么漂亮啊
[00:10:20] 太漂亮了啊
[00:10:21] 干嘛的啊
[00:10:21] 做保健还是做保健吗
[00:10:24] 这个呢
[00:10:25] 什么什么废话
[00:10:26] 他干嘛来的
[00:10:27] 也求保健来着
[00:10:28] 求保健啊
[00:10:29] 姑娘太好看了
[00:10:30] 破了相都比你好看
[00:10:32] 别拿我比喻呢
[00:10:33] 坐着啊
[00:10:34] 也是来求求保健请老老和尚指点迷津的哦
[00:10:38] 也说老师给他讲呢
[00:10:40] 讲什么呢
[00:10:41] 千古流传美好的姻缘
[00:10:49] 王二姐张廷秀把na 佳话
[00:10:54] 千古传
[00:10:58] 老和尚出家之前是唱二人转的那个
[00:11:02] 要尊敬一下好不好
[00:11:03] 废话
[00:11:04] 他唱的就是这个
[00:11:05] 大姐
[00:11:06] 大姐我道远啊
[00:11:07] 我五点出来
[00:11:08] 12点到这儿
[00:11:09] 我夹个塞儿行不行
[00:11:11] 哦
[00:11:11] 您受累
[00:11:12] 您坐这边儿来
[00:11:12] 在前边儿来吧
[00:11:13] 我跟着啊
[00:11:14] 不知道师父啊
[00:11:15] 弟子求您指点迷津啊
[00:11:17] 您说说女施主啊
[00:11:19] 什么眼神儿啊
[00:11:21] 换人了
[00:11:22] 这二大爷大爷我我嗯
[00:11:24] 大爷看吧
[00:11:25] 改大爷了
[00:11:26] 嗯
[00:11:29] 你弄哪去了你
[00:11:30] 嗯嗯
[00:11:31] 等佳哥等我一会儿
[00:11:32] 等会儿
[00:11:33] 嗯嗯嗯
[00:11:35] 也不是什么正经和尚
[00:11:36] 这个说吧说吧
[00:11:40] 什么事儿说
[00:11:41] 嗯
[00:11:42] 老师
[00:11:42] 我这求您指点弟子迷津
[00:11:45] 我要奋斗
[00:11:46] 要成为一个了不起的人
[00:11:47] 您看我应该注意什么
[00:11:49] 说说
[00:11:49] 等一会儿
[00:11:50] 等一会儿别惦记他了
[00:11:52] 这还一人呢
[00:11:53] 没看见吗
[00:11:55] 菩提本非树
[00:11:57] 明镜亦非台
[00:11:58] 本来无一物
[00:12:00] 何处染尘埃
[00:12:02] 哎哟哎哟
[00:12:03] 太好了
[00:12:04] 我感动了
[00:12:04] 我这说的真好真好
[00:12:06] 妈真好真好说什么呢
[00:12:07] 谁知道啊
[00:12:09] 没听清楚
[00:12:09] 还好
[00:12:10] 真好
[00:12:10] 真好
[00:12:11] 老师傅您
[00:12:12] 您再来一个
[00:12:12] 再来一个
[00:12:13] 再来一个
[00:12:14] 大爷大爷受累
[00:12:15] 再来一个
[00:12:15] 再来一个
[00:12:16] 再来一个啊
[00:12:18] 再来一个啊
[00:12:19] 弄和尚带翻厂
[00:12:20] 嗯
[00:12:21] 道德三皇五帝
[00:12:22] 功名夏侯
[00:12:23] 商周五霸
[00:12:24] 七雄闹春秋
[00:12:25] 顷刻兴亡过手
[00:12:27] 青史几行名
[00:12:28] 姓北邙
[00:12:29] 无数荒丘
[00:12:30] 前人播种后人收
[00:12:31] 说是龙争虎斗
[00:12:35] 哎哟
[00:12:35] 太好了
[00:12:35] 太好了
[00:12:36] 嗯
[00:12:36] 你再来一个
[00:12:37] 再来一个
[00:12:37] 还是说大爷
[00:12:38] 这个来来
[00:12:39] 嗯
[00:12:39] 还来了啊
[00:12:40] 再说多等会儿
[00:12:42] 等会儿别电着啊
[00:12:46] 还没完事儿呢啊
[00:12:47] 就这样
[00:12:49] 千古流传最好的一员
[00:12:54] 王二姐不唱这段儿
[00:12:56] 他一般说
[00:12:57] 俩准唱一个
[00:12:58] 嗯
[00:12:58] 好
[00:12:59] 还是二人转
[00:13:00] 就是肚囊窄一点
[00:13:01] 红肉窄一点儿
[00:13:02] 就算是没别的了
[00:13:03] 我说行
[00:13:03] 我谢谢您
[00:13:04] 谢谢您啊
[00:13:05] 我听懂了
[00:13:05] 弟子听懂了
[00:13:06] 哦
[00:13:06] 你赶紧把宝剑给我吧
[00:13:08] 嗯
[00:13:08] 我带上
[00:13:08] 我好好得个好惨啊
[00:13:11] 护身符等着啊
[00:13:12] 小和尚后面拿来了
[00:13:14] 老师傅拿起来
[00:13:15] 毕恭毕敬啊
[00:13:16] 施主
[00:13:18] 这个保健非同小可
[00:13:20] 为什么
[00:13:20] 呃
[00:13:21] 她是贫僧特意走光的啊
[00:13:23] 你先了解一下这个
[00:13:25] 行了
[00:13:25] 别说了
[00:13:26] 说特意走光的呀
[00:13:28] 对老和尚特意走光的
[00:13:30] 没听说过
[00:13:31] 你看谁这儿挂一个光屁股老和尚啊
[00:13:34] 你不要胡说
[00:13:35] 好不废话
[00:13:36] 老和尚走光
[00:13:37] 干嘛走光啊
[00:13:38] 人家这庙里和由高僧开光
[00:13:41] 开光的
[00:13:44] 你骗我吧
[00:13:47] 这我骗你什么
[00:13:48] 你小时候一块儿玩儿
[00:13:49] 孩子在一块打起来了啊
[00:13:50] 把这裤子扒下来了
[00:13:51] 他要我自个开光内叫走光
[00:13:56] 知道吗
[00:13:57] 这个呢
[00:13:58] 这叫开光啊
[00:14:00] 这就不不扒老和尚裤子了废话
[00:14:03] 你扒老和尚裤子干嘛
[00:14:04] 那扒谁裤子呢
[00:14:06] 谁的裤子也不扒不扒怎么怎么开光了呢
[00:14:11] 您怎么不明白
[00:14:12] 这东西就叫开光
[00:14:13] 跟裤子搭裤子没关系
[00:14:14] 穿着裤子啊穿着裤子多新鲜处
[00:14:17] 那怎么叫走光呢
[00:14:20] 谁说走光了
[00:14:21] 到底谁裤子扒了给谁
[00:14:23] 裤子也没扒不扒裤子吧
[00:14:26] 裤子这东西就叫开过就开光哎
[00:14:29] 对了可可
[00:14:29] 闹清楚这件事
[00:14:30] 嗯
[00:14:31] 我我谢谢您
[00:14:32] 谢谢您太好了
[00:14:33] 嗯
[00:14:33] 谢谢老师
[00:14:34] 我有您保佑我以后会了不起的啊
[00:14:37] 问一下
[00:14:37] 我还有什么需要注意的吗
[00:14:40] 千古流传AJ 美好的力量啊啊啊
[00:14:47] 鼻子把这半拉图上就是荆州哦
[00:14:50] 我就是公安部的车了哇
[00:14:53] 回家拿笔
[00:14:54] 涂完之后挂在我的车上
[00:14:56] 嗯
[00:14:56] 开车就出来了
[00:14:57] 过去了
[00:14:58] 警察一看劲儿还蓝呢
[00:15:01] 林总啊
[00:15:01] 要疯啊
[00:15:02] 嗯
[00:15:03] 我今o 嗯
[00:15:04] 公安部的车是啊
[00:15:06] 邓飞啊
[00:15:07] 公安部还有摩地呢
[00:15:09] 好骂
[00:15:11] 哈哈
[00:15:12] 您不认识别的车吧
[00:15:15] 开这玩意
[00:15:16] 开灌啊
[00:15:17] 灌一说吧
[00:15:18] 我又
[00:15:19] 我又受到打击了啊
[00:15:21] 为什么每次我都快跑到终点才被人通知取消了比赛资格呢
[00:15:25] 谁让您参赛的人都说
[00:15:27] 干大事得交点学费啊
[00:15:29] 我这学费够够拍六个黄金假的了
[00:15:31] 哈哈
[00:15:32] 到现在我也没成功啊
[00:15:34] 为什么呢
[00:15:35] 没有
[00:15:36] 为什么我想了
[00:15:37] 我不能听别人的啊
[00:15:38] 我老指着别人完成不了
[00:15:40] 那倒是我自己干吧
[00:15:41] 对
[00:15:41] 脚踏实地踏踏实实
[00:15:43] A
[00:15:43] 从小打小闹干起
[00:15:45] 做什么一步一步来嘛啊
[00:15:46] 先干房地产
[00:15:47] 对
[00:15:48] 这就不小了
[00:15:49] 这个我得干点有谱的事儿
[00:15:52] 您这还有谱儿
[00:15:53] 我上王府井先买块地去
[00:15:55] 王府井儿还有地吗
[00:15:56] 你买不下来我去行为什么
[00:15:58] 我就就跟那儿负责
[00:15:59] 哦
[00:16:00] 厕所的卫生
[00:16:02] 找厕所那两间都归他管
[00:16:04] 一男一女
[00:16:05] 我找他去啊
[00:16:06] 刚好找他啊
[00:16:07] 我就就双规了
[00:16:09] 扫厕所的也双规啊
[00:16:12] 他调整跟墩布那数对不上
[00:16:14] 呵
[00:16:15] 这偷这玩意儿有什么用啊
[00:16:16] 这
[00:16:17] 嗯
[00:16:18] 我得找人捞他呀
[00:16:19] 是吧
[00:16:19] 还捞呢
[00:16:20] 找人捞他呀啊啊
[00:16:22] 我舅姥爷倒是在北京市公安局噢
[00:16:25] 压着呢
[00:16:26] 压着爷俩
[00:16:28] 一辈子没见
[00:16:29] 这回见着了a
[00:16:30] 在这儿能说话去了
[00:16:31] 哎
[00:16:32] 有一个说相声
[00:16:32] 李菁噢
[00:16:34] 他舅舅在美国大使馆
[00:16:36] A 负责厕所卫生
[00:16:38] 全是扫厕所
[00:16:40] 找他去干嘛啊
[00:16:41] 舅舅啊
[00:16:41] 快点救救我
[00:16:42] 救救吧
[00:16:43] 啊哈哈啊
[00:16:44] 帮帮我
[00:16:45] 他说就不行
[00:16:46] 去不了去不了
[00:16:47] 孩子真管不了这事儿
[00:16:48] 为什么我现在没有档期啊
[00:16:50] 扫厕所还有什么档期
[00:16:52] 他就一个人盯厕所卫生
[00:16:54] 没人换班儿
[00:16:55] 那就走了
[00:16:55] 就脏了就啊
[00:16:57] 我想了想
[00:16:58] 拉倒吧
[00:16:59] 怎么啊
[00:17:00] 我内内厕所盘起来也没有太大的作用
[00:17:03] 那我盖80 层
[00:17:04] 也都是两居
[00:17:06] A 对厅很小啊
[00:17:09] 根本就没有听
[00:17:10] 一男厕所
[00:17:11] 一个女厕所
[00:17:12] 哪来的听啊
[00:17:13] 有一个窗户是买纸什么的
[00:17:15] 啊哈
[00:17:16] 这售票的那个哪儿卖D 啊
[00:17:18] 便宜啊
[00:17:20] 德云社有个说相声叫徐德亮
[00:17:22] 哦
[00:17:22] 我知道我姥姥家门口啊
[00:17:25] 50 块钱一亩
[00:17:26] 真便宜啊
[00:17:27] 兄弟可别跟别人说
[00:17:28] 啊啊
[00:17:29] 这便宜
[00:17:29] 咱们吵吵着买去
[00:17:30] 咱们大伙儿凑1000块钱啊
[00:17:32] 咱买D 去
[00:17:33] 1000块钱都回家推自行车去啊
[00:17:36] 胡同口集合
[00:17:37] 看完咱们上那儿买D
[00:17:38] 去做这几个股东
[00:17:39] 嗯嗯
[00:17:40] 徐德亮说我不去啊
[00:17:42] 我不说你鸡贼是吧
[00:17:44] 也懒得登
[00:17:45] 我驮着你
[00:17:45] 咱俩倒班儿来
[00:17:46] 带折到不了哪儿啊
[00:17:48] 柴达木啊柴达木
[00:17:51] 我一听
[00:17:52] 啊
[00:17:52] 这太没谱了
[00:17:53] 一点谱都没挨达木
[00:17:55] 嗯
[00:17:55] 那都算三环外了
[00:17:57] 什么三环外
[00:17:59] 您弄点地理知识看看好不好啊
[00:18:01] 三环里啊
[00:18:02] 什么三环里
[00:18:03] 三环里
[00:18:03] 三环外
[00:18:04] 新疆啦
[00:18:05] 新疆村儿
[00:18:06] 海淀那边我认识
[00:18:08] 您没出过北京市吗
[00:18:09] 不不不
[00:18:10] 新疆自治区了
[00:18:12] 哎呀
[00:18:12] 不进了这一趟啊
[00:18:14] 你说这真盖上房
[00:18:15] 嗯
[00:18:15] 我的业主上班儿是个问题
[00:18:18] 想的还真远
[00:18:19] 为了那儿买房
[00:18:20] 把单位都辞了不合适
[00:18:22] 那是我给他们挖地铁行不行
[00:18:24] 从北京到新疆的地铁不堵车
[00:18:27] 快成就到了
[00:18:28] 是哇啊
[00:18:29] 你说卖楼的钱够挖地铁的吗
[00:18:31] 就您这1000块钱
[00:18:32] 够呛
[00:18:33] 够呛也行
[00:18:35] 怎么挖着挖着挖到山西就挖出煤来了啊
[00:18:38] 我一边卖着没一边
[00:18:40] 哇好
[00:18:41] 倒着点儿走
[00:18:41] 再挖着挖到陕西啊
[00:18:43] 就挖出兵马俑来了
[00:18:45] 或洗干净洗上八荣八耻
[00:18:47] 扛到潘家园就卖了he 好吗
[00:18:49] 嗯
[00:18:50] 是真的东西当假的卖
[00:18:52] 这也是能弄一下
[00:18:53] 对这合适也不行
[00:18:55] 再挖着到黄河还漏水呢啊
[00:18:57] 地铁里我的业主带着草帽披着雨衣
[00:19:00] 打着伞或多慎得慌的呢
[00:19:02] 就这样不行
[00:19:04] 而且从地理位置上讲啊
[00:19:05] 他们跟我说柴达木属于是嗯
[00:19:08] 盆地知道吗
[00:19:10] 小盆儿没盆地
[00:19:13] 盆a
[00:19:14] 大的字眼
[00:19:14] 哎
[00:19:15] 盆地儿啊
[00:19:16] 没有一个是小字眼儿
[00:19:17] 怎么说盆地俩都是听过这个地儿
[00:19:21] 跟你正贼逗你玩儿知道吗
[00:19:24] 我还能加字啊
[00:19:25] 谁跟你加字儿啊盆地
[00:19:27] 盆地就这么说
[00:19:28] 存水下雨
[00:19:29] 存水啊滑
[00:19:30] 一场雨下来
[00:19:31] 四层楼都没了
[00:19:33] 哦
[00:19:33] 我那房才盖了三层楼
[00:19:34] 对
[00:19:35] 那就全淹了
[00:19:36] 那不行啊啊
[00:19:37] 哎呀
[00:19:38] 这怎么办呢
[00:19:39] 就能有高一点儿的地儿
[00:19:41] 有哪儿
404
404，您请求的文件不存在!