[00:00:09] Mountain [00:00:13] Billy the mountain [00:00:22] A regular picturesque [00:00:27] Postcardy mountain [00:00:30] Residing between lovely [00:00:35] Rosamond and Gorman [00:00:39] With his stunning wife Ethell [00:00:44] A tree [00:00:51] A tree [00:00:58] Billy was a mountain [00:01:03] Ethel was a tree [00:01:04] Growing off of his shoulder [00:01:11] Billy was a mountain [00:01:16] Ethel was a tree [00:01:20] Growing off of his shoulder [00:01:25] Billy had two big [00:01:26] Caves for eyes [00:01:27] With a cliff for a jaw [00:01:29] That would go up 'n down [00:01:31] And whenever it did [00:01:32] He'd puff out some dust [00:01:33] And hack up a boulder [00:01:36] Hack [00:01:37] Hack up a boulder [00:01:39] Hack hack [00:01:40] Hack up a boulder [00:01:42] Hack hack hack [00:01:44] Hack up a boulder [00:01:47] Now one day a man in a checkered suit drove up in a big [00:02:02] Lincoln continental and he laid a huge [00:02:09] Bulging envelope right at the corner of billy the mountain [00:02:14] Right where his 'foot' was supposed to be [00:02:16] Now billy the mountain he couldn't believe it [00:02:21] All those postcards he'd posed for for over these years [00:02:25] And finally now at last his royalties [00:02:36] Billy the mountain was rich his eyeball caves widened in amazement [00:02:46] His cliff [00:02:47] Which was his jaw [00:02:48] It dropped thirty feet [00:02:54] Ooh a bunch of dust puffed out rocks and boulders hacked up [00:03:01] Hack hack hack hack hack hack hack [00:03:02] Crushing 'the Lincoln' [00:03:03] Now the man in the checkered suit well [00:03:03] Without his car he went screaming off into the desert at sunset [00:03:05] All the way to Rosamond to get a beer and tell everybody there [00:03:07] Including Ronnie Cook what had happened to his car [00:03:10] I gave him the money [00:03:10] He acted real funny [00:03:11] He hocked up a rock and [00:03:14] It totaled my car [00:03:16] Oh do you [00:03:17] Know any trucks [00:03:19] Might be bound for the Valley [00:03:23] I don't want to stand here [00:03:26] All night in this bar [00:03:28] Dear lord [00:03:28] I don't want to stand here [00:03:31] All night in this bar [00:03:33] No s**t [00:03:34] I don't want to stand here [00:03:37] All night in this bar [00:03:44] By two o'clock and the bars are already closed down [00:03:49] Billy had already broken 'the big news' to Ethel [00:03:55] With dust and boulders everywhere billy choked with excitement announced [00:04:06] Ethel we're going on a vacation [00:04:15] Yes and they were going on a vacation [00:04:19] Oh and Ethel Ethel Ethel Ethel just like a woman [00:04:23] Of course she was delighted she creaked a little bit [00:04:31] And some old birds flew off of her [00:04:36] Hey Mr Tambourine Man play a song [00:04:39] Billy told Ethel they were going to [00:04:45] They were going to New York [00:04:48] Ethel we're going to [00:04:57] New York [00:05:07] But first they were gonna stop in Las Vegas [00:05:11] It's off to Las Vegas [00:05:15] To check out the lounges [00:05:18] Pull a few handles [00:05:21] Drink a few beers [00:05:23] Oh Ethel [00:05:24] Ethel my darling [00:05:26] You know that I love you [00:05:29] I'm glad we could have a [00:05:32] Vacation this year [00:05:34] Oh neet o [00:05:35] Glad we could have a [00:05:37] Vacation this year [00:05:45] They left that night crunchin' across the mojave desert [00:05:51] Their voices echoing through the canyons of your minds [00:05:58] Ethel want to get a cuppa cawfee [00:06:09] There's a Howard Johnsons want to eat some clams [00:06:19] The first noteworthy piece of real estate they destroyed was Edwards Air Force Base [00:06:26] And to this very day 'wing nuts' and data reduction clerks alike [00:06:32] Speak in reverent whispers about that fateful night when [00:06:35] Test stand number one and the rocket sled itself got LUNCHED [00:06:44] By a famous mountain in and his small wooden wife [00:06:49] Good bye to Las Vegas [00:06:50] Farewell to the lounges [00:06:50] We pulled a few handles [00:06:51] We drank a few beers [00:06:53] Guess that George Putnam [00:06:53] Should be on the air now [00:06:54] With the biggest new story [00:06:56] That has broken this year [00:06:58] George Putnam [00:06:59] His biggest new story [00:06:59] That has broken this year [00:07:00] Take it away George [00:07:00] Word just in to the KTTV news service undeniably links [00:07:02] This mountain and his wife to d**g abuse [00:07:04] And pay offs as part of a San Joaquin Valley smut ring [00:07:10] However we can assure parents in the Southern California area [00:07:14] That a recent narcotics crack down [00:07:16] In Torrance Hawthorne Lomita [00:07:22] Westchester Playa del Rey Santa Monica [00:07:29] Tujunga Sunland San Fernando Pacoima Sylmar [00:07:36] Newhall Canoga Park [00:07:40] Palmdale Glendale Irwindale [00:07:45] Rolling Hills Granada Hills Shadow Hills Cheviot Hills [00:07:53] Will provide the secret evidence [00:07:55] The Palmdale grand jury has needed to seek a criminal indictment [00:08:00] And pave the way for stiffer legislation increased federal aid [00:08:07] And avert a crippling strike of bartenders and veterinarians throughout the inland empire [00:08:13] But it is this reporter's opinion that Ethel is a former Communist [00:08:18] Within the week Jerry Lewis had hosted a telethon [00:08:21] Wah wah wah nice lady [00:08:23] To raise funds for the injured [00:08:26] Injured [00:08:27] And homeless [00:08:29] Homeless [00:08:31] In Denver [00:08:38] As Billy had just levelled it and a few miles right outside of town [00:08:44] Billy caused a 'Oh Mein Papa' in the earth's crust [00:08:52] Right over the secret underground dumps where they keep the pools of old poison gas [00:09:07] And obsolete germ bombs just as a freak tornado cruised through [00:09:33] Sucking up two thirds of it [00:09:50] Suck suck suck [00:09:52] For untimely dispersal over vast stretches of WATTS [00:10:03] Now it was about this time I think it was right outside of Columbus Ohio that billy got his notice to report for his induction physical [00:10:16] Now believe me Ethel said she wasn't gonna let him go [00:10:17] I'm not gonna let you go billy [00:10:18] And george putnam the right wing creepo fascist pig newscaster from los angeles said [00:10:22] Take it away george putnam [00:10:23] The right wing fascist radical creepo pig newscaster from los angeles [00:10:26] We now have confirmed reports from an informed orange county minister [00:10:33] That ethell is still an active communist [00:10:38] And it's this reporter's opinion that she also practices witch craft [00:10:49] It was about this time that the telephone rang in the secret briefcase [00:10:54] Belonging to the one mortal man [00:10:56] Who might be able to stop all of this senseless destruction and save 'america herself' [00:11:06] Now some men say he looked like [00:11:13] He looked like [00:11:15] Felix Pappalardi [00:11:18] Felix Pappalardi [00:11:24] Still others say [00:11:25] Others say [00:11:26] Bulls**t man [00:11:26] Bulls**t man [00:11:27] He was just born [00:11:27] He was born [00:11:28] Next to the frozen beef pies at Gristede's [00:11:30] Frozen beef pies [00:11:32] Still others say [00:11:32] Others say he was just another [00:11:34] Again he was just a crazy Italian [00:11:37] Crazy Italian [00:11:38] Who drove a red car [00:11:39] You see it was hard to tell [00:11:40] But nobody knows [00:11:41] Nobody knew for sure [00:11:42] For sure [00:11:43] He was so [00:11:43] So [00:11:44] Mysterious [00:11:45] Mysterious [00:11:46] Oh yes he was [00:11:46] He was so [00:11:48] He was so he was so [00:11:49] Mysterious [00:11:54] He was so [00:11:57] Mysterious [00:12:05] Cause when a person gets to be [00:12:06] Such a hero folks [00:12:08] And marvelous beyond compute [00:12:12] You can never really tell [00:12:13] About a guy like that [00:12:15] Whether he's really a nice person [00:12:17] Or if he just smiles a lot [00:12:19] What [00:12:19] Or if he has a son named 'pinocchio' [00:12:23] Or what [00:12:25] Whether he's really a nice person or if he has a son named 'pinocchio' or what [00:12:30] Some men say he could fly [00:12:32] Some men say he could swim [00:12:33] Others say he could sing [00:12:34] Like neil sedaka [00:12:35] And all the girls in flushing [00:12:37] Would be amazed of him [00:12:38] Two three [00:12:40] Amazed of him [00:12:46] Time passes [00:12:52] January February March July [00:12:57] Wednesday [00:12:59] August [00:13:00] Irwindale [00:13:01] 2:30 in the afternoon [00:13:03] Sunday Monday [00:13:06] Funny Cars [00:13:07] Walnut [00:13:07] Friday [00:13:10] City of Industry [00:13:11] Big John Mazamanian [00:13:13] So when the phone rang [00:13:17] In the secret briefcase [00:13:20] Thank you [00:13:21] A strong masculine hand [00:13:24] With a wristwatch [00:13:26] And flexy bracelet [00:13:29] Grabbed it [00:13:32] And answered [00:13:34] In a deep calmly assured voice： [00:13:43] Yes this is he what a mountain with a tree growing off of its shoulder [00:13:57] You're fulla s**t man what what uh are are you sure [00:14:00] Oh well alright let me write this down then sorta take a few notes here to new york [00:14:08] Causing untold destruction [00:14:10] My baby my baby my baby my baby oh [00:14:13] My baby my baby my baby my baby [00:14:17] My baby my baby [00:14:19] My baby my baby my baby [00:14:25] My baby my baby [00:14:26] My baby my baby my baby [00:14:29] Wanted for draft evasion [00:14:37] Can I can I fly there immediately and reason with him [00:14:42] An expense account and per diem too [00:14:50] Some men say he could dance [00:14:54] Yes he could dance [00:14:56] And here it is ladies and gentlemen [00:14:59] The studebaker hoch dancing lesson &cosmic prayer for guidance featuring aynsley dunbar [00:15:06] Twirly twirly twirly twirly twirly twirly twirly hey [00:15:13] Right hand from the heart uh [00:15:16] Professional [00:15:16] Left hand from the heart uh [00:15:19] Exquisite [00:15:20] Right hand from the heart uh [00:15:22] Homunculus [00:15:23] Left hand from the left shoulder [00:15:26] To the heart uh [00:15:30] Twirly twirly twirly twirly twirly twirly twirly twirly hey [00:15:32] There were a number of rumors circulating about studebaker hoch recently [00:15:42] Consider if you will the rumors that have spread that he could write [00:15:46] The lord's prayer on the head of a pin [00:15:49] Some men say he could write the lord's prayer [00:15:53] On the head of a [00:15:57] Head of a [00:16:02] Head of a pin [00:16:09] Three dog night [00:16:11] Yeah [00:16:17] Other still maintain the fact [00:16:25] Good god [00:16:31] He was born next to the frozen beef pies [00:16:42] And that was the main influence on him [00:17:00] Boldly springing into action he phoned his wife [00:17:04] Who ran a modeling school [00:17:05] Whereupon she he ran around the back of 'gimbel's' [00:17:15] To see if he could find some big un used cardboard boxes [00:17:23] After which he hit up gristede's for some 'kaiser broiler foil' [00:17:27] Some 'aunt jemima syrup' and a pair of blunt scissors hey hey [00:17:35] Yes and in the parking lot across the street from the [00:17:39] One fifth avenue hotel [00:17:42] In between a pair of customized trucks where nobody was looking [00:17:46] He cut out a pair of really really nice wings and he covered 'em thoroughly with foil [00:17:51] Thoroughly with foil thoroughly with foil [00:17:55] Thoroughly with foil [00:18:02] Thorougly with foil [00:18:03] Thoroughly with foil [00:18:05] Thoroughly with with foil [00:18:13] Then he took those 'wings' [00:18:15] And wedged one under each of his powerful arms and sneaked into a telephone booth [00:18:26] He closed the door and he pulled down his gray denim bus driver type pants [00:18:36] And he spread even amounts of aunt jemima syrup all over the inside of his legs [00:18:42] Right underneath his boxer pretty shorts ha ha ha [00:18:47] Soon the booth was filling with flies [00:18:50] Help me help me help me [00:18:54] He held open the legs of his boxer shorts so they could all get in [00:19:00] Yes and when each and every one of those little [00:19:04] Each and every one of those little cocksuckin' flies had gone into his boxer shorts 404

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