[00:00:00] 小九老乐-赵本山&杨蕾 [00:00:02] （哼歌） [00:00:26] 媳妇还不回来 [00:00:31] 赵老乐又做饭呢 [00:00:33] 做饭呢 [00:00:34] 你不做饭呢 [00:00:35] 你拉倒吧你怕老婆 [00:00:38] 啥叫怕老婆这叫夫妻感情 [00:00:40] 懂不 [00:00:42] 小样这点事都整不明白 [00:00:44] 还说风凉话呢 [00:00:47] 我跟你说这人不咋地 [00:00:48] 个外面装得挺好 [00:00:50] 回家就给媳妇洗脚 [00:00:52] 我怕老婆我怕老婆 [00:00:54] 我能背着老婆干那么大件事 [00:00:58] 不能跟你说嘴太快了哼 [00:01:02] 我给你介绍俺家情况 [00:01:03] 我媳妇 [00:01:04] 小名叫小九 [00:01:05] 纯牌我们家二把手 [00:01:07] 啥事我说定了 [00:01:08] 她马上举手 [00:01:09] 我说八她不说九我说没她不敢说有 [00:01:12] 我说你给我站着 [00:01:13] 她可以随便走 [00:01:43] 呀 有点靠前了 [00:01:53] 刚才我吹牛你都听着了 [00:01:57] 我这点毛病你不知道呗 [00:01:59] 就是痛快痛快嘴 [00:02:02] 这不你告诉我的要注意男子汉形象 [00:02:05] 对外可以孟吹回来看着你马上就dui [00:02:13] 你看你究竟怎得了 [00:02:14] 你说话呀 [00:02:16] 我吧那点要做的不对的话 [00:02:18] 你这当领导的该批评就批评 [00:02:26] 我问你 指示 [00:02:31] 你最近是不是背着我干啥事了 [00:02:36] 嘿嘿你真能整 [00:02:39] 我还敢背你干啥事 [00:02:41] 没背我干啥事 [00:02:43] 我可告诉你啊 [00:02:44] 你可跟我说明白了 [00:02:46] 要不咱俩可没完 [00:02:48] 别媳妇安定团结才能治好家 [00:02:52] 你别跟我扯 [00:02:53] 说完算完事 [00:02:54] 来饭都凉了 [00:02:55] 说不说呀 [00:02:57] 说不说呀 [00:02:58] 来喝水 [00:02:59] 说不说呀 [00:03:00] 你看有啥话慢慢说吧 [00:03:02] 吵吵啥呀 [00:03:03] 你站住干啥去呀 [00:03:04] 我先躲一躲 [00:03:05] 你先消消火 [00:03:06] 你敢还没说完话呢 [00:03:09] 我不需答顾她 [00:03:10] 等一会消气了我还收拾不了她 [00:03:13] 回来 [00:03:17] 见笑了啊 [00:03:18] 嘿嘿哎呀 [00:03:32] 啊怕老婆 [00:03:35] 谁说怕老婆 [00:03:37] 我跟我跟你说 [00:03:41] 不是怕怕就是爱爱才能怕懂不嘿嘿 [00:03:47] 这个你怕老婆不（我还没老婆呢） [00:03:50] 没老婆那说就没用了 [00:03:54] 是这么回事 [00:03:55] 前两天我个她手 [00:03:56] 拿出来五百块钱来 [00:03:58] 完事吧借给我原来那对象了嘿 [00:04:03] 不敢正事你照你你也不敢 [00:04:06] 这事不能说的事 [00:04:07] 老乐 [00:04:08] 那什么来了 [00:04:11] 老乐呀 [00:04:13] 喊啥呀 [00:04:14] 我出来跟邻居唠会嗑喊啥呀 [00:04:17] 回家吧饭菜都凉了 [00:04:19] 凉你再给我热回去吧 [00:04:34] 咱俩一块回行不 [00:04:35] 我叫你回去你就回去我说话还不算咋得 [00:04:39] 现在我的这气还没消呢 [00:04:40] 我回去了我不还不得往出撵你吗 [00:04:45] 回去 [00:04:48] 你看大伙都见笑了 [00:04:50] 我们老乐平常脾气可大了 [00:04:52] 我可怕他了是不老乐 [00:04:55] 这事最好别跟大伙说 [00:04:59] 回去吧 [00:05:01] 今儿不是给你过生日吗 [00:05:02] 明天过 [00:05:05] 明不过期了 [00:05:06] 啊过期就作废了（回去吧） [00:05:09] 回去 [00:05:10] 你看你以后出来别扎围裙 [00:05:13] 等我回来做饭 [00:05:14] 你看你吧一到吃饭的时候就给我系这玩意 [00:05:17] 衣服埋不住 没办法 [00:05:25] 你就这点不好 [00:05:28] 衣服埋汰太挤 [00:05:29] 让大伙作笑 [00:05:31] 好像 [00:05:35] 嘿嘿 [00:05:39] 行呀你呀 [00:05:40] 真够意思 [00:05:42] 出息了是不 [00:05:43] 你给我坐那 [00:05:45] 哈哈哈哈哈 [00:05:51] 嘿嘿差点没做地上 [00:05:52] 嘿嘿 [00:05:57] 哈哈 [00:06:00] 媳妇别笑啊 [00:06:03] 我心里没底 [00:06:08] 过来过来呀 [00:06:14] 干啥呀四根蜡 [00:06:17] 今儿你不四岁吗 [00:06:20] 四十了嘿 [00:06:22] 哎点蜡过生日 [00:06:25] 哎哟别烧了媳妇 [00:06:27] [00:06:37] 来不生气了啊 [00:06:39] 两口子还真生气呀 [00:06:42] 今你不是过生日吗 对 [00:06:45] 我敬你一杯 [00:06:46] 不今儿呀我敬你敬我 [00:06:51] 我祝你喝酒啊 [00:06:54] 生日快乐 [00:06:56] 媳妇还挺能整的词 [00:06:57] 还祝我生日快乐.... [00:07:06] 吹吹 [00:07:08] 一盅一盅喝 [00:07:09] 吹不行 [00:07:10] 我让你吹蜡烛 [00:07:12] 嘿嘿呀媳妇呀媳妇这够档的还整个洋事 [00:07:19] 一口气吹灭 [00:07:23] 哎哟 [00:07:25] 吹过界了 [00:07:31] 乐儿 [00:07:31] 啊 [00:07:32] 你说 [00:07:36] 咱俩结婚这些年 [00:07:38] 我对你咋样呀 [00:07:40] 你咋突然说这话呢 [00:07:42] 啥也不说都在酒里 [00:07:45] 哎你说乐儿， [00:07:46] 我咋有啥话都跟你说 [00:07:49] 那就对了 跟别人说那不出事了 [00:07:52] 那你呢 [00:07:53] 啥话呀那都跟媳妇说那还叫老爷们呀 [00:07:55] 啥 [00:07:57] 啥话都给媳妇说那才叫老爷们呢 [00:08:02] 你别拿我当傻子 [00:08:04] 你跟我说实话 说啥 [00:08:07] 那五百块钱你到底借给谁了 [00:08:10] 我不给你说了吗 [00:08:12] 我就借老姨家那二白糊了吗 [00:08:15] 你拉倒吧你呀 [00:08:17] 我今天进城见二白糊了 [00:08:19] 二白糊咋说 [00:08:20] 根本没那回事 [00:08:21] 他真能嗅白糊 [00:08:23] 你说这小子够意思不 [00:08:24] 我都跟他定好啦 [00:08:25] 我说这钱哪 [00:08:26] 如果我媳妇要来问你的话 [00:08:28] 你千万千万就说借你了 [00:08:30] 要不然 [00:08:30] 编（完了）编好 [00:08:33] 别出差啊你给我说实施 [00:08:38] 那钱到底借谁了 [00:08:42] 说不说呀 [00:08:45] 菜整咸了 [00:08:51] 快点吃饭呀 [00:08:52] 起来 [00:08:54] 出去你咋这样呢 [00:08:55] 说急眼就急眼你这脾气 [00:08:57] 你说这都干啥呀 [00:08:59] 哎呀 [00:09:02] 九儿九 [00:09:03] 开门九儿九 [00:09:09] 有啥话咱直接对话吧行不 [00:09:11] 你没诚意我跟你对啥话呀 [00:09:13] 我告诉你啊你今天要不说实话 [00:09:16] 你就别想进这门 [00:09:19] 不进就不进，进不进门看谁开门 [00:09:28] 哈哈哈哈哈 [00:09:30] 老乐大哥这大半夜个外面站着干啥呢 [00:09:35] 那什么我媳妇没在家把钥匙锁屋了进不来 [00:09:39] 那好走吧上俺家去吧 [00:09:41] 别忙等一会不开门我再去 [00:09:43] 过来干啥玩意 [00:09:45] 多长时间没见面了我这来呀 [00:10:01] 你就别开门呀 [00:10:03] 行你就给我装神弄鬼你给我演戏吧 [00:10:06] 我 要不这样整你还不开门 [00:10:10] 行我看出来了你今天是不打算给我说实话了 [00:10:14] 是不 [00:10:16] 我告诉你啊 [00:10:18] 你不说实施 [00:10:21] 我也知道 [00:10:22] 你就诈吧 [00:10:23] 我诈你干啥 [00:10:24] 我今进城干啥去了 [00:10:26] 干啥去了 [00:10:28] 钱都要回来了 [00:10:31] 你真上她们家去了 [00:10:33] 我去了，那我 的钱我不要啊 [00:10:37] 你是不是有点过分了 [00:10:39] 谁过分我过分你过分哪 [00:10:42] 你呗 [00:10:43] 我都跟你说一百遍了你说我俩是处过一段 [00:10:47] 那能怎么 [00:10:47] 她有困难咱就不能帮一把吗，啊 [00:10:51] 她老爷们在部队你说孩子个家有病了 [00:10:55] 冲我借五百块钱我能不借吗 [00:10:57] 你怎么能要去呢 [00:10:59] 是人干的事吗你 [00:11:00] 那你干啥不跟我明说呀 [00:11:02] 我不告你了吗 [00:11:03] 你不管啥事你得跟我说句实话呀 [00:11:05] 我不害怕吗 [00:11:06] 你心里没鬼你怕啥呀 [00:11:08] 我不怕你心眼小吗 [00:11:09] 我心眼比你大 [00:11:10] 没事你老瞎合计 [00:11:12] 你不说我才瞎合计 [00:11:13] 你一瞎合计你老发脾气 [00:11:15] 你发脾气你连掐带拧的 [00:11:18] 这我都能忍是不 [00:11:20] 我就怕你犯这个头疼病 [00:11:21] 你脑袋一疼不吃饭不睡觉 [00:11:23] 大把大把竟吃药 [00:11:25] 有时候头还往墙上撞 [00:11:27] 我瞅着不着急吗 [00:11:29] 再者说了十多年了 [00:11:30] 你说我对你什么样你还不知道 404

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