[00:00:30] It's been a long and lonely trip but
[00:00:32] I'm glad that I took it because it was well worth it.
[00:00:34] I got to read a couple books and do some research
[00:00:36] Before I reached my verdict.
[00:00:38] Never thought that I was perfect.
[00:00:39] Always thought that I had a purpose.
[00:00:41] Used to wonder if I'd live to see my first kiss.
[00:00:45] The most difficult thing I ever did
[00:00:47] Was recite my own words at a service
[00:00:49] Realizing the person I was addressing probably
[00:00:51] Wasn't looking down from heaven.
[00:00:53] Or cooking up something in hell's kitchen
[00:00:56] Trying to listen in or eaves drop
[00:00:57] From some another dimension.
[00:00:59] It was self serving just like this is.
[00:01:01] Conveniently religious on Easter Sunday and on Christmas.
[00:01:05] The television went from being a babysitter to a mistress.
[00:01:08] Technology made it easy for us
[00:01:10] To stay in touch while keeping a distance
[00:01:12] 'Til we just stayed distant and never touched.
[00:01:15] Now all we do is text too much.
[00:01:16] I don't remember much from my youth.
[00:01:18] Maybe my memory is repressed.
[00:01:20] Or I just spent too much time
[00:01:21] Wondering if I'd live to have sex.
[00:01:23] Fell in love for the first time in 4th grade
[00:01:26] But I didn't have the courage to talk to her.
[00:01:28] In 8th grade I wrote her the note
[00:01:30] But I slipped it in someone else’s locker.
[00:01:32] Considered killing myself 'cause of that.
[00:01:34] It was a big deal.
[00:01:35] It was a blown cover.
[00:01:36] It was over for me.
[00:01:37] My goose was cooked.
[00:01:38] Stick a fork it me.
[00:01:39] The jig is up.
[00:01:40] I blew my chances the rest is history
[00:01:42] Our future was torn asunder.
[00:01:43] It became abundantly clear that
[00:01:44] I was only brought here to suffer.
[00:01:47] At least I didn't include my name.
[00:01:49] Thankfully I wrote the whole note in code
[00:01:51] And it had 10 layers of scotch tape safety
[00:01:53] Seal making it impossible to open.
[00:01:55] Plus it was set to self destruct.
[00:01:57] Whoever read it probably died…laughing.
[00:01:59] I wonder if they lived long enough
[00:02:00] To realize what happened.
[00:02:02] A year later I came to understand that
[00:02:05] Wasn't love that I was feeling for her.
[00:02:07] I had someone else to obsess over.
[00:02:09] I was older. I was very mature.
[00:02:11] I forged my time signature
[00:02:12] While practicing my parents autograph
[00:02:14] Cause I was failing math.
[00:02:16] Disconnected the phone when
[00:02:17] I thought the teacher would call my home.
[00:02:19] I checked the mailbox twice a day
[00:02:20] At the end of a long dirt road.
[00:02:22] Steamed open a couple envelopes like
[00:02:24] I was in private detective mode.
[00:02:26] If you snoop around long enough
[00:02:28] For something in particular
[00:02:29] You're guaranteed to find it.
[00:02:31] For better or worse that's how I learned that
[00:02:33] It's best to just keep some things private.
[00:02:36] It was the best of times.
[00:02:40] It was the end of times.
[00:02:45] It was the best of times.
[00:02:47] It was the end of times.
[00:02:49] It was the best of times.
[00:02:51] It was the end of times.
[00:02:52] Best of times end of times
[00:02:54] I was always on deck I was next in line.
[00:02:56] An only child with a pen and pad writing a list of things that
[00:02:59] I could never have.
[00:03:00] The walls in my house were paper thin.
[00:03:02] Every squabble seemed to get deafening.
[00:03:04] If my memory serves me correctly
[00:03:05] I made it a point to void and forget some things.
[00:03:08] Probably to keep from being embarrassed.
[00:03:10] Never meant to upset or give grief to my parents.
[00:03:12] Kept my secrets…hid my talents…
[00:03:13] In my head never under the mattress.
[00:03:16] Therapy couldn't break me.
[00:03:17] Never learned a word that would insure safety.
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