You Need An Analyst (Album Version) - Allan Sherman // If you're always stealing goodies 如果你总是忍不住 From a big department store 要从百货商场偷东西吃 You need an analyst a psychoanalyst 你需要咨询分析师 心理分析师 If your pocket's full of little things 如果你的口装满了小东西 You've never owned before 你以前从未拥有过的东西 You need an analyst a psychoanalyst 你需要咨询分析师 心理分析师 If somebody says 如果有人说 "Good Morning" and politely tips his hat 早上好 然后礼貌地翻过帽子 And you frown and say 你却皱眉说 "I wonder what he really meant by that" 我真想知道他这是什么意思 If you're walking down the sidewalk 如果你走在人行道上 And you won't step on a crack 并不会踩到地上的坑 You're afraid if you step on a crack 但你却害怕会踩到坑 You'll break your mother's back 导致摔倒伤了你的腰 If you're at the philharmonic 如果你在听交响乐队演奏 And you start to do the twist 却开始跳起了扭摆舞 You need an analyst a psychoanalyst 你需要咨询分析师 心理分析师 You need an analyst you need an analyst 你需要咨询分析师 你需要分析师 We really must insist that you see an analyst 我们强烈建议你咨询分析师 If you're freezing 如果你因为假象的疾病 Or you're sweating from imaginary ills 感到寒冷彻骨或大汗淋漓 You need an analyst a psychoanalyst 你需要咨询分析师 心理分析师 If it takes an IBM machine to classify your pills 如果需要IBM机器才能把药分类 You need an analyst a psychoanalyst 你需要咨询分析师 心理分析师 If you tiptoe into bed 如果你踮着脚走上床 And you're as quiet as a mouse 你和老鼠一样安静 But the bed you tiptoe into is in someone else's house 但你踮脚走上的却是别人家的床 If you have a brand new raincoat 如果你有一件新雨衣 And of it you're very fond 你非常喜欢 In fact 事实上 You'd rather be alone with it than with a blond 比起金发美女 你更喜欢和雨伞待在一起 If you wear your wristwatch on your feet 如果你在脚上戴腕表 And stockings on your wrist 在手腕上穿丝袜 You need an analyst a psychoanalyst 你需要咨询分析师 心理分析师 You need an analyst you need an analyst 你需要咨询分析师 你需要分析师 We really must insist that you see an analyst 我们强烈建议你咨询分析师 If you're always tearing paper into teeny weeny bits 如果你总是把纸撕成零碎的小片 You need an analyst a psychoanalyst 你需要咨询分析师 心理分析师 If you've got a secret closet full of pomegranate pits 如果你有一个秘密衣柜 里面装满了石榴核 You need an analyst a psychoanalyst 你需要咨询分析师 心理分析师 If they ask you 如果人们问你 What your name is and you answer Bonaparte 你叫什名字 你却回答波拿巴 If you dig those daffy doodles 如果你喜欢疯狂涂鸦 That are known as modern art 被称作现代艺术的疯狂涂鸦 If you're walking down the street 如果你走在街上 And then you stop to tie your shoes 然后停下系鞋带 And you tie them to each other 你一边把两只鞋系在了一起 As you hum Saint Louis blues 一边哼着圣路易斯蓝调 Or if you're forty-six years old 或者 你四十六岁了 And never have been kissed 却从未被人吻过 Go kiss an analyst a psychoanalyst 去吻分析师 吻心理分析师吧 Go kiss an analyst go kiss an analyst 去吻分析师 去吻分析师吧 We really must insist that you kiss an analyst 我们强烈建议你去吻分析师 If you're always having arguments 如果你们总是争吵 When no one else is there 没有人的时候也和自己争吵 You need an analyst a psychoanalyst 你需要咨询分析师 心理分析师 And whenever you are angry if you kick your teddy bear 每当你生气时 你就去踢泰迪熊 You need an analyst a psychoanalyst 404

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