[00:00:00] WHAT'S FUNNY - Bo Burnham [00:00:30] My show is a little bit silly and [00:00:33] A little bit pretentious [00:00:35] Like Shakespeare's willy or [00:00:38] Noam Chomsky wearing a strap on [00:00:46] It's also a little bit gay and a little offensive [00:00:51] Like Thanksgiving Day or [00:00:54] Noam Chomsky wearing a strap on [00:01:02] So put your cell phones to vibrate [00:01:08] And put your vibrators to cell phone mode [00:01:13] Welcome to the show it goes a little bit like this [00:01:16] JOKE [00:01:16] Exactly [00:01:17] Welcome to my flow it flows a little bit like this [00:01:19] With a rap a dist and a [00:01:21] Swift rap on the wrist a wrap and a kiss [00:01:23] Like Hershey's wrapping a kiss shit [00:01:25] I got a show that'll test ya kids [00:01:27] Then ask one question and the question is [00:01:28] Whats funny whats funny [00:01:30] Whats funny whats funny [00:01:31] Whats funny whats funny [00:01:32] Whats funny whats funny [00:01:38] Whats funny whats funny [00:01:39] Whats funny whats funny [00:01:42] Oh yeah [00:01:45] Humor is often linked to shared experience [00:01:48] Like a guy gets up an says [00:01:50] "have you noticed that public restrooms [00:01:50] Have really inefficient hand dryers [00:01:52] Oh my god yes I have HA HA HA [00:01:56] Really good point they should fix that [00:01:58] Its good to know that somebody finally gets me [00:02:01] Because my wife divorced me [00:02:02] Which Sub-Consciously forced me [00:02:03] To lose all sense of self [00:02:05] So its nice to think about hand [00:02:06] Dryers and not that cheating whore [00:02:09] Because stand up comedy is actually pretty easy [00:02:13] If your an asian comic just get up and say [00:02:15] "My mothers got the weirdest f**king accent" [00:02:17] Then just do a chinese accent [00:02:19] Because everybody laughs at the chinese accent [00:02:22] Because they privately thought [00:02:23] That your people were laughable [00:02:24] And now you've given them the [00:02:25] Chance to express that in public [00:02:30] If youre a musical comic [00:02:32] Just give 'em a little weird voice inflection [00:02:34] Then take a Viagra and slap 'em [00:02:37] With a rock hard misdirection [00:02:39] Whats funny whats funny [00:02:40] Whats funny whats funny [00:02:41] Whats funny whats funny [00:02:43] Whats funny whats funny [00:02:49] Whats funny whats funny [00:02:50] Whats funny whats funny [00:02:53] When the audience says [00:02:55] When I was a baby maybe [00:02:56] I laughed at people jiggling keys [00:02:59] Now I'm older and bolder [00:03:00] And just get mad 'cause i notice [00:03:01] That the keys are to a hummer [00:03:03] F**k my life I don't f**k my wife [00:03:05] So f**k my wife and f**k my life [00:03:07] And my son is gay but not sitcom gay [00:03:09] Daughters a whore like another [00:03:11] Girl who used to be her mother [00:03:12] But the marriage made [00:03:13] Her miss merry americana [00:03:14] I wanna a teen without screaming prima-donna [00:03:16] But the radical feminists made my wife a man [00:03:20] If i die happy the situation will be [00:03:23] Auto erotic-exfixiation [00:03:25] I hate my life and it hates me back [00:03:28] And my friend is black [00:03:30] But I don't know what to call him [00:03:32] So I just call him [00:03:35] "What-up Jamaal" [00:03:38] Even though his name is Steve [00:03:40] I Hate my job I hate my life [00:03:41] Hate my kids I hate my wife [00:03:42] Jews would know I do it; Judas beat me to it [00:03:44] I'm slowly slipping into a solopcystic coma [00:03:47] And I masturbate because [00:03:48] I'm the only one who's standards [00:03:50] Are low enough to f**k me [00:04:11] Whats funny whats funny [00:04:13] Whats funny whats funny [00:04:14] Whats funny whats funny [00:04:15] Whats funny whats funny [00:04:20] Whats funny whats funny [00:04:22] Whats funny whats funny 404

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