《The Return Of Albert(Albert Comes Back)》歌词

歌曲： The Return Of Albert(Albert Comes Back)

所属专辑：The Classic Monologues (Digitally Remastered)

歌手： Stanley Holloway

时长： 04:29

播放 下载lrc歌词 下载纯文本歌词

The Return Of Albert (Albert Comes Back) - Stanley Holloway[00:00:00]

You've heard how young Albert Ramsbottom[00:00:04]

In the zoo up at Blackpool one year[00:00:07]

With a stick with a horse's head handle[00:00:10]

Gave a lion a poke in the ear[00:00:13]

The name of the lion was Wallace[00:00:16]

The poke in the ear made him wild[00:00:19]

And before you could say Bob's your uncle[00:00:22]

He'd up and he'd swallowed the child[00:00:26]

He were sorry the moment he'd done it[00:00:29]

With children he'd always been chums[00:00:32]

And besides he'd no teeth in his noddle[00:00:36]

And he couldn't chew Albert on the gums[00:00:39]

He could feel the lad movin' inside him[00:00:43]

As he lay on his bed of dried ferns[00:00:46]

And it might have been little lad's birthday[00:00:49]

He wished him such happy returns[00:00:52]

But Albert kept kicking and fighting[00:00:56]

Till Wallace arose feeling bad[00:00:59]

And felt it were time that he started[00:01:02]

To stage a comeback for the lad[00:01:05]

So with his head down in a corner[00:01:09]

On his front paws he started to walk[00:01:12]

And he coughed and he sneezed and he gargled[00:01:16]

'Till Albert shot out like a cork[00:01:20]

Old Wallace felt better directly[00:01:24]

And his figure once more became lean[00:01:27]

But the only difference with Albert[00:01:31]

Was his face and his hands were quite clean[00:01:34]

Meanwhile mister and missus Ramsbottom[00:01:38]

And gone home to tea feelin' blue[00:01:41]

Ma says I feel down in the mouth like[00:01:45]

Pa says aye I bet Albert does too[00:01:49]

Said ma it just goes for to show yer[00:01:53]

That the future is never revealed[00:01:56]

If I'd thought we was goin' to lose him[00:01:59]

I'd have not had his boots soled and heeled[00:02:02]

Let's look on the bright side said father[00:02:06]

What can't be helped must be endured[00:02:09]

Every cloud has a silvery lining[00:02:12]

And we did have young Albert insured[00:02:16]

A knock on the door came that moment[00:02:19]

As father these kind words did speak[00:02:22]

'Twas the man from the prudential he'd called for[00:02:26]

Their tuppence per person per week[00:02:29]

When father saw who had been knockin'[00:02:33]

He laughed and he kept laughin' so[00:02:36]

That the young man said what's there to laugh at[00:02:40]

Pa said you'll laugh and all when you know[00:02:43]

Excuse him for laughing said mother[00:02:47]

But really things happen so strange[00:02:50]

Our Albert's been ate by a lion[00:02:54]

You've got to pay us for a change[00:02:57]

Said the young feller from the prudential[00:03:00]

Now come come let's understand this[00:03:03]

You don't mean to say that you've lost him[00:03:08]

Ma says oh no we know where he is[00:03:11]

When the young man had heard all the details[00:03:16]

A purse from his pocket he drew[00:03:19]

And he paid them with interest and bonus[00:03:22]

The sum of nine pounds four and two[00:03:26]

Pa had scarce got his hand on the money[00:03:30]

When a face at the window they see[00:03:34]

And mother says eeh look it's Albert[00:03:37]

And father says aye it would be[00:03:42]

Young Albert came in all excited[00:03:45]

And started his story to give[00:03:48]

And pa says I'll never trust lions[00:03:51]

Again not as long as I live[00:03:55]

The young feller from the [00:03:58]

To pick up the money began[00:04:00]

And father says eeh just a moment[00:04:03]

Don't be in a hurry young man[00:04:07]

Then giving young Albert a shilling[00:04:10]

He said pop off back to the zoo[00:04:12]

Here's yer stick with the horse's head handle[00:04:16]

Go and see wot the tigers can do[00:04:19]