《Good Advice(LP版)》歌词

歌曲： Good Advice(LP版)

所属专辑：Allan In Wonderland (US Release)

歌手： Allan Sherman

时长： 08:36

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Good Advice - Allan Sherman[00:00:01]

I know a man named Otis who invented a room [00:00:10]

And his heart was filled with pride [00:00:14]

I said to Mr Otis ＂What does your room do ＂[00:00:17]

He said ＂It goes from side to side ＂[00:00:21]

So I said ＂Mr Otis if you take my advice [00:00:25]

You'll be the richest man in town [00:00:28]

You gotta take that room that goes from side to side [00:00:31]

And make it go up and down ＂[00:00:35]

And that was good advice good advice [00:00:38]

Good advice costs nothing and it＇s worth the price [00:00:43]

I sincerely doubt[00:00:46]

That the world could do without[00:00:48]

My good advice [00:00:49]

Sir Isaac Newton came around to my house one day [00:00:57]

His face was all sunburned and red [00:01:00]

He said he didn't want to sleep in the shade of a tree [00:01:04]

Because an apple might fall on his head [00:01:07]

I said ＂Sir Isaac you dumbbell take my advice [00:01:11]

Go right back there and sleep beneath that tree [00:01:15]

And if you let that rotten apple fall down on your head [00:01:18]

Why you'll discover gravity ＂[00:01:22]

And that was good advice good advice [00:01:26]

Good advice costs nothing and it's worth the price [00:01:30]

The world's a better place [00:01:33]

Since I gave the human race[00:01:35]

My good advice [00:01:37]

A man named Mr Waterman invented a tube [00:01:44]

He was sad because it sprung a little leak [00:01:47]

He said ＂Darn it when I hold my tube on a piece of paper [00:01:51]

The ink leaks out and makes a little streak ＂[00:01:55]

He said ＂I've gotta find a way to stop that leak [00:01:59]

I'll start working on my leakproof tube again ＂[00:02:02]

I said ＂Waterman you idiot don't stop that leak [00:02:05]

You just invented a fountain pen ＂[00:02:09]

And that was good advice good advice [00:02:13]

Good advice costs nothing and it's worth the price [00:02:17]

I'm so worldly wise [00:02:21]

I should get the Nobel Prize [00:02:22]

For good advice [00:02:24]

Good old Henry Ford he was a hardworking man [00:02:32]

He worked all night and all day [00:02:35]

I said ＂Henry watcha doing ＂[00:02:38]

And Henry he said ＂I'm inventing the Chevrolet ＂[00:02:40]

He said ＂I've already built twenty-five models [00:02:46]

One for each letter from A to Z ＂[00:02:50]

I said ＂Henry you fool there are twenty-six letters in the alphabet [00:02:53]

He said ＂Good heavens I forgot the Model T ＂[00:02:57]

And that was good advice good advice [00:03:00]

Good advice costs nothing and it's worth the price [00:03:05]

It's fruitful as can be [00:03:08]

And it's absolutely free [00:03:10]

My good advice [00:03:12]

Wilbur and Orville were two brothers named Wright [00:03:19]

The nicest pair of kids you've ever seen [00:03:22]

They worked twelve years on a secret project [00:03:26]

They thought it was a washing machine [00:03:29]

I said ＂Fellas what are all those wings for ＂[00:03:33]

They said ＂For hanging clothes out to dry ＂[00:03:37]

I said ＂You fools take that washing machine out to Kitty Hawk [00:03:40]

And see if the darn thing all fly ＂[00:03:44]

And that was good advice good advice [00:03:48]

Good advice costs nothing and it's worth the price [00:03:52]

I'm so smart that I'm[00:03:56]

Gonna win a Guggenheim [00:03:57]

For good advice [00:03:59]

(One more time)[00:04:10]

Benjamin Franklin was a charming old man [00:04:23]

He was always flying his kite [00:04:26]

One night I said ＂Benjy why ain't you out with your kite ＂[00:04:30]

He said ＂Because it's raining tonight ＂[00:04:34]

I said ＂Benjy sweety you go right back out there [00:04:37]

And to your kite string tie a key [00:04:41]

This may shock you Benjy my boy [00:04:44]

But that's electricity ＂[00:04:48]

And that was good advice good advice [00:04:52]

Good advice costs nothing and it's worth the price [00:04:56]

I'll be fond of you[00:05:00]

If you'll only listen to[00:05:01]

My good advice [00:05:03]

Ooga Magoog was a Neanderthal man [00:05:11]

A very poorly educated soul [00:05:14]

He had a great big square thing made of solid stone [00:05:18]

And in the middle of it was a hole [00:05:22]

One day he had to go from his cave in Natchez[00:05:25]

To his uncle's cave in Mobile [00:05:29]

I said ＂Round off those corners[00:05:32]

And buy a set of tires [00:05:35]

And Ooky baby that's a wheel ＂[00:05:37]

And that was good advice good advice [00:05:41]

Good advice costs nothing and it's worth the price [00:05:44]

Harvard offered me[00:05:48]

A Phi Beta Kappa key[00:05:49]

For good advice [00:05:51]

Sigmund Freud he had an unfurnished house [00:05:59]

He was a very nosy fellow so it seems [00:06:02]

He had no chairs [00:06:06]

So he made all his friends stand around all day [00:06:07]

And tell him all their secrets and their dreams [00:06:10]

Well while they stood there talking till they got fallen arches [00:06:13]

They yelled ＂My feet are killing me Ouch ＂[00:06:17]

I said ＂Sigmund don't you realize you've got a gold mine here [00:06:20]

Go out and buy yourself a leather couch ＂[00:06:24]

And that was good advice good advice [00:06:27]

Good advice costs nothing and it's worth the price [00:06:32]

Every word you're told[00:06:36]

Will be 18 karat gold [00:06:37]

That's good advice [00:06:39]

Alexander Graham Bell was building a fence[00:06:47]

With some wood and a long piece of wire [00:06:50]

He said ＂There's something strange going on around here [00:06:54]

I keep hearing the voice of Uncle Myer ＂[00:06:57]

I said ＂Mr Graham Cracker ＂ (that was my little joke)[00:07:01]

＂With that wire you got the world in your palm [00:07:05]

Just get a mouthpiece and an earpiece and a piece in between [00:07:08]

And you'll sponsor The Telephone Hour ＂[00:07:12]

And that was good advice good advice [00:07:17]

Good advice costs nothing and it's worth the price [00:07:20]

Every word ya hear[00:07:24]

Is the message of the year [00:07:25]

It's good advice [00:07:27]

Christopher Columbus was a seaman second class[00:07:35]

When I told him that the Indies could be found[00:07:38]

By sailing to the West instead of sailing to the East [00:07:42]

I advised him that I thought the world was round [00:07:45]

(I really thought so )[00:07:48]

And then I sent him down to ask good Queen Isabella[00:07:49]

To pawn her jewels for all their worth [00:07:52]

Next day he set sail and as everyone knows [00:07:56]

He fell off the edge of the Earth [00:08:00]

And that was bad advice bad advice [00:08:03]

Bad advice is just the same as good advice [00:08:08]

Everybody makes[00:08:11]

Occasional mistakes [00:08:13]

And that was bad advice[00:08:15]