《Could You Please Oblige Us With A Bren Gun》歌词

歌曲： Could You Please Oblige Us With A Bren Gun

所属专辑：The Compact Coward

歌手： Noel Coward and Orchestra

时长： 03:26

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Could You Please Oblige Us with a Bren Gun - Noel Coward and Orchestra[00:00:00]

Colonel Montmorency who was in Calcutta in ninety two[00:00:08]

Emerged from his retirement for the war[00:00:11]

He wasn't very pleased with all he heard and all he saw[00:00:15]

But whatever he felt he tightened his belt and organised a corps[00:00:19]

Poor colonel Montmorency thought[00:00:23]

Considering all the wars he'd faught[00:00:26]

The home guard was his job to do or die[00:00:28]

But after days and weeks and years bravely drying his many tears[00:00:31]

He wrote the following letter to the minister of supply[00:00:36]

Could you please oblige us with a bren gun[00:00:40]

Or failing that a hand grenade will do[00:00:43]

We've got some ammunition in a rather damp condition[00:00:47]

And major huss has a arquebus was used at waterloo[00:00:51]

With the vicar's stirrup pump a pitchfork and a stave[00:00:55]

It's rather hard to guard an aerodrome[00:00:59]

So if you can't oblige us with a bren gun[00:01:03]

The home guard might as well go home[00:01:07]

Could you please oblige us with a bren gun[00:01:10]

We're getting awfully tired of drawing lots[00:01:14]

Today we had a shipment of some curious equipment[00:01:18]

And just for a prank they sent us a tank that ties itself in knots[00:01:22]

On Sunday's mock invasion captain Clark was heard to say[00:01:26]

He hadn't even got a brush and comb[00:01:29]

So if you can't oblige us with a bren gun[00:01:34]

The home guard might as well go home[00:01:37]

Colonel Montmorency planned in case the enemy tried to land[00:01:45]

To drive them back with skill and armoured force[00:01:49]

He realised his army should be mechanised of course[00:01:53]

But somewhere inside experience cried my kingdom for the horse[00:01:57]

Poor colonel Montmorency tried at infinite cost to time and pride[00:02:02]

To tackle his superiors again[00:02:07]

Having just one motorbike fourteen swords and a marlin spike[00:02:11]

He wrote the following letter in the following urgent strain[00:02:15]

Could you please oblige us with a bren gun[00:02:19]

We need it very badly I'm afraid[00:02:23]

Our local crossword solver has an excellent revolver[00:02:27]

But during a short attack on a fort the trigger got mislaid[00:02:31]

In course of operations planned for Friday afternoon[00:02:35]

Our orders are to storm the hippodrome[00:02:39]

So if you can't oblige us with a bren gun[00:02:43]

The home guard might as well go home[00:02:47]

Could you please oblige us with a bren gun[00:02:51]

The lack of one is wounding to our pride[00:02:54]

Last night we found the cutest little german parachutist[00:02:58]

He looked at our kit and giggled a bit and laughed until he cried[00:03:02]

We'll have to hide that armoured car when marching through Berlin[00:03:06]

We'd almost be ashamed of it in the Rome[00:03:10]

So if you can't oblige us with a bren gun[00:03:14]

The home guard might as well go home[00:03:18]