《The Cactus》歌词

歌曲： The Cactus

所属专辑：Lah-Di-Dah

歌手： Jake Thackray

时长： 03:24

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When I and my new love my true love got married [00:00:00]

Our love our true love very nearly miscarried [00:00:06]

And one of the chief the contributory factors [00:00:11]

Was when my dear wife fell in love with a cactus [00:00:16]

On our wedding day my auntie Ivy gave us both a little pot [00:00:22]

A plastic what not [00:00:26]

Which contained a spiky cactus as a present it was tactless [00:00:27]

But my wife my life my golden girl she loved it from the start [00:00:30]

Though it was old and mouldy she took it to her very heart [00:00:37]

My snow white my aphrodite my pocket Venus [00:00:43]

Twas then that this venomous thing came between us [00:00:48]

When we had so much to delect and distract us [00:00:53]

Oh why did we cherish a perishing cactus [00:00:58]

At first she just felt sorry for this [00:01:04]

Horrid squalid lumpish parasite [00:01:06]

A rash compassion [00:01:09]

For her feelings got beyond her every day she grew still fonder [00:01:10]

Till this sickly tickly little squirt had got the household quashed [00:01:12]

Rent unpaid my tea not made my shirts my socks not washed [00:01:19]

My poor heart was bleeding from multiple fractures [00:01:26]

A dupe and a boob and a cuckold to a cactus [00:01:31]

She gave up her duties her food and her slumber [00:01:35]

For this potted hedgehog this son of a cucumber [00:01:40]

In spite of all her care her lavish [00:01:47]

Blandishments the creature still declined [00:01:49]

It pined for something [00:01:51]

It defied all kinds of fertiliser It began to fade away and die [00:01:52]

And only I knew why I recognised the state [00:01:56]

And it's a fact that what that cactus [00:02:02]

Lacked was a prickly little soul mate [00:02:04]

The feeling of grief's not confined to us only [00:02:09]

Like me this poor vegetable was just lonely [00:02:14]

For they need exactly those things which attract us [00:02:19]

So I went and bought him a little lady cactus [00:02:24]

We placed them spiky cheek to spiky [00:02:31]

Cheek upon our kitchen window sill [00:02:33]

And then withdrew We knew [00:02:35]

True love would run its course and [00:02:36]

We perforce had something similar to do [00:02:38]

And truth to tell well well within the hour [00:02:40]

My auntie's antisocial plant put out a happy cactus flower [00:02:45]

True love is in bloom now and everything's very nice [00:02:52]

No thorns in our fireside no spikes up our paradise [00:02:58]

My household is flourishing now and in fact I [00:03:03]

Have dozens of kids and a hundred little cacti [00:03:08]