《Ernie(The Fastest Milkman in the West)(2003 Remaster)》歌词

歌曲： Ernie(The Fastest Milkman in the West)(2003 Remaster)

所属专辑：Nostalgic Children’s Songs

歌手： Benny Hill

时长： 03:53

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Ernie (The Fastest Milkman in the West) [2003 - Remaster[00:00:00]

You could hear the hoof beats pound as they raced across the ground[00:00:04]

And the clatter of the wheels as they spun round and round[00:00:08]

And he galloped into Market Street his badge upon his chest[00:00:11]

His name was Ernie and he drove the fastest milk cart in the west[00:00:14]

Now Ernie loved a widow a lady known as sue[00:00:20]

She lived all alone in liddley lane at number twenty[00:00:23]

They said she was too good for him she was haughty proud and chic[00:00:27]

But Ernie got his cocoa there three times every week[00:00:30]

They called him Ernie Ernie[00:00:35]

And he drove the fastest milk cart in the west[00:00:38]

She said she'd like to bathe in milk he said all right sweetheart[00:00:42]

And when he'd finished work one night he loaded up his cart[00:00:46]

He said you want it pasteurize cause pasteurize is best[00:00:49]

She says Ernie I'll be happy if it comes up to my chest[00:00:53]

That tickled old Ernie Ernie[00:00:57]

And he drove the fastest milk cart in the west oh[00:01:00]

Now Ernie had a rival an evil looking man[00:01:06]

Called two ton ted from teddington and he drove the baker's van[00:01:10]

He tempted her with his treacle tarts and his tasty wholemeal bread[00:01:14]

And when she seen the size[00:01:17]

Of his hot meat pies it very near turned her head[00:01:18]

She nearly swooned at his macaroon and he said if you treat me right[00:01:22]

You'll have hot rolls every morning and crumpets every night[00:01:26]

He knew once she sampled his layer cake he'd have his wicked way[00:01:29]

And all Ernie had to offer was a pint of milk a day[00:01:33]

Poor Ernie Ernie[00:01:37]

And he drove the fastest milk cart in the west oh[00:01:41]

One lunch time ted saw Ernie's horse and cart outside her door[00:01:46]

It drove him mad to find it was still there at half past four[00:01:50]

And as he let down from his van[00:01:54]

Hot blood through his veins did course[00:01:55]

And he went across to Ernie's cart and didn't half kick his rose[00:01:57]

Whose name was trigger trigger[00:02:02]

And he pulled the fastest milk cart in the west[00:02:05]

Now Ernie rushed out into the street his gold top in his hand[00:02:09]

He said if you wanna marry Susie you'll fight for her like a man[00:02:12]

Oh why don't we play cards for her he sneeringly replied[00:02:16]

And just to make it interesting we'll have a shilling on the side[00:02:20]

Now Ernie dragged him from his van and beneath the blazing sun[00:02:24]

They stood there face to face and ted went for his bun[00:02:28]

But Ernie was too quick things didn't go the way ted planned[00:02:32]

And a strawberry flavored yogurt sent it spinning from his hand[00:02:35]

Now Susie ran between them and tried to keep them apart[00:02:40]

And Ernie he pushed her aside[00:02:44]

And a rock cake caught him underneath his heart[00:02:45]

And he looked up in pained surprise and the concrete hardened crust[00:02:47]

Of a stale pork pie caught him in the eye and Ernie bit the dust[00:02:51]

Poor Ernie Ernie[00:02:55]

And he drove the fastest milk cart in the west[00:02:59]

Ernie was only fifty two he didn't wanna die[00:03:04]

And now he's gone to make deliveries in that milk round in the sky[00:03:09]

Where the customers are angels and ferocious dogs are banned[00:03:13]

And the milkman's life is full of fun in that fairy dairy land[00:03:17]

But a woman's needs are many fold and soon she married ted[00:03:21]

But strange things happened on their wedding night[00:03:27]

As they lay in their bed[00:03:29]

Was that the trees a rustling or the hinges of the gate[00:03:32]

Or Ernie's ghostly gold tops a rattling in their crate[00:03:37]

They won't forget Ernie Ernie[00:03:42]

And he drove the fastest milk cart in the west[00:03:46]