《’Twas The Night After Christmas》歌词

歌曲： ’Twas The Night After Christmas

所属专辑：Crank It Up - The Music Album

歌手： Jeff Foxworthy

时长： 03:17

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Twas the night after Christmas and all through the trailer [00:00:03]

The beer had gone flat and the pizza was staler [00:00:06]

The tube socks hung empty no candies or toys [00:00:09]

I was camped out on my old La-Z-Boy [00:00:13]

The kids they weren't talking to me or my wife [00:00:16]

The worst Christmas they said they had had in their lives [00:00:19]

My wife couldn't argue and neither could I [00:00:23]

So I watched TV and my wife she just cried[00:00:26]

When out in the yard the dog started barkin'[00:00:30]

I stood up and looked and saw Sheriff Larkin[00:00:33]

He yelled "Roy I amd sworn to uphold the laws[00:00:36]

And I got a complaint from a feller named Clause "[00:00:40]

I said "Clause I don't know nobody named Clause [00:00:44]

And you ain't takin me in without probable cause "[00:00:48]

Then the Sheriff he said "The man was shot at last night "[00:00:51]

I said "That might've been me just whats he look like [00:00:56]

The Sheriff replied "Well he's a jolly old feller with a big beer gut belly[00:00:59]

That shakes when he laughs like a bowl full of jelly[00:01:04]

He sports a long beard and a nose like a cherry "[00:01:08]

I said "That sounds like my wife's sister Sherri "[00:01:11]

"It's no time for jokes Roy " the Sheriff he said [00:01:14]

"The man I'm describing is dressed all in red[00:01:18]

I'm here for the truth now it's time to come clean [00:01:21]

Tell me what you done and tell me what you seen "[00:01:24]

Well I started to lie then I thought what the hell[00:01:28]

It wouldn't be the first time I spent New Years in jail [00:01:31]

I said "Sheriff it happened last night about ten [00:01:35]

I thought that my wife had been drinking again "[00:01:39]

When she walked in from works she was white as a ghost[00:01:42]

I thought maybe she'd seen one of them UFO's[00:01:46]

But she said that a bunch of deer had just flown over her head[00:01:50]

And stopped on the roof of our good neighbor Red [00:01:53]

Well I ran outside to look and the sight made me shutter [00:01:57]

A freezer full of venison standing right on Red's gutter [00:02:01]

Well my hands were a shaking as I grabbed my gun [00:02:05]

When outta Red's chimney this feller did run[00:02:09]

And slung on his back was this bag overflowin'[00:02:12]

I thought he'd stolen Red's stuff while old Red was out bowlin'[00:02:16]

So I yelled "Drop it fat boy hands in the air "[00:02:21]

But he went about his business like he hadn't a care[00:02:25]

So I popped off a warning shot over his head [00:02:28]

Well he dropped that bag and he jumped in that sled [00:02:32]

And as he flew off i heard him extort [00:02:35]

"Thats assault with intent Roy I'll see you in court "Ill tell you what sheriff if you put a subnet[00:02:38]

On me I wont show up ill hold up in the cellar[00:02:49]

And you’ll never rout me outta there[00:02:52]

So why don’t you just[00:02:53]

Turn car off come[00:02:55]

In well watch wrestling eat some[00:02:59]

Easter bunny stew and talk about howta catch that tooth fairy[00:03:01]

She’s been over here about every other night[00:03:04]