《Intro》歌词

歌曲： Intro

所属专辑：what.

歌手： Bo Burnham

时长： 09:28

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Intro (Explicit) - Bo Burnham[00:00:00]

This is Bo Burnham [00:00:08]

He's 22 years old [00:00:12]

He's a male and he looks like the genetic product[00:00:15]

Of a giraffe having sex with Ellen Degeneres [00:00:19]

He has a gigantic head and tiny nipples [00:00:24]

He's isolated himself over the last five years in the pursuit of comedy[00:00:29]

And in doing so has lost touch with reality [00:00:35]

You're an asshole Bo You hear me [00:00:42]

You think you know better than me [00:00:48]

You think you know better than everybody [00:00:51]

You will die alone and you will deserve it [00:00:55]

But in the meantime you might as well tell those silly jokes of yours [00:01:01]

See if that helps [00:01:07]

You used to do comedy when you felt like being funny[00:01:21]

But now you're contraction-ally obligated[00:01:28]

So dance you f**king monkey[00:01:31]

Dance monkey dance [00:01:35]

Welcome to the show [00:01:37]

This is Bo this is his show [00:01:38]

And Bo likes to dance like this[00:01:40]

Welcome to the show this is Bo [00:01:43]

This is his show and Bo takes off his pants like this[00:01:44]

Play an invisible drum[00:01:49]

Play an invisible trumpet trumpet sound[00:01:52]

Drink some invisible water[00:01:55]

Oh sh*t That water's real [00:01:57]

Bo wants to make you feel comfortable[00:02:01]

Bo wants to make you feel comfortable[00:02:04]

Bo wants to make you feel comfortable[00:02:07]

So sit back relax and enjoy a healthy dose of[00:02:10]

Prolonged eye contact Prolonged eye contact[00:02:13]

Prolonged eye contact Prolonged eye contact[00:02:16]

Prolonged eye contact Prolonged eye contact[00:02:19]

Prolonged eye contact Prolonged eye contact[00:02:22]

Prolonged eye contact Prolonged eye contact[00:02:25]

Prolonged eye contact Prolonged eye contact[00:02:28]

Prolonged eye contact Prolonged eye contact[00:02:31]

Prolonged eye contact[00:02:34]

Prolonged eye contact Prolonged eye contact[00:02:37]

Prolonged eye contact Prolonged eye contact[00:02:40]

Prolonged eye contact Prolonged eye contact[00:02:43]

Lick your lips to make it more comforting[00:02:46]

Do you want to see a magic trick [00:02:48]

Do you want to see a magic trick [00:02:51]

Do you want to see a magic trick [00:02:54]

Then pick a card any card-Psyche [00:02:57]

Magic isn't real you idiot read a book[00:03:01]

Magic isn't real you idiot read a book[00:03:04]

Magic isn't real you idiot read a book[00:03:07]

Magic isn't real or is it [00:03:10]

And at that moment [00:03:16]

Bo's 20 year old cynicism melted into childlike wonder [00:03:18]

He never knew there could be so much magic in the world [00:03:24]

It's a world of possibilities Bo [00:03:29]

What do you want to do first Run [00:03:33]

Yeah sure you can run [00:03:36]

Fly Well yeah you can fly [00:03:38]

What What are you what the f**k are you do[00:03:43]

What the f**k are you doing [00:03:45]

Stop st-stop it [00:03:47]

What the f-you f**king idiot stop stop stop [00:03:49]

Anyways In the distance Bo saw a beautiful fairy [00:03:55]

A fairy so beautiful that he felt proud[00:04:00]

About being called one in high school [00:04:02]

He then came across an old bridge with a troll standing guard [00:04:05]

Bo knew he'd have to answer a riddle to get by [00:04:09]

The troll spoke thus:[00:04:13]

Alright for the last time man I'm not a troll I'm homeless [00:04:16]

Ok do you have any spare change [00:04:19]

Ok that's a used napkin I don't want that [00:04:23]

No no stop just you know what leave just leave please leave '[00:04:26]

And then as Bo arrived on the other side of the stage[00:04:32]

He saw a unicorn with five horns right in front of him [00:04:38]

And the pentacorn spoke thus:[00:04:42]

Hello Bo I've been looking for you for quite a long t-ugh '[00:04:47]

He was safe for now [00:05:07]

But the dark thoughts would soon return [00:05:11]

It's Godzilla [00:05:17]

It's so hard to be a lizard[00:05:42]

It's hard to be a lizard[00:05:48]

Tiny arms itchy gizzard[00:05:54]

It's hard to be a lizard[00:06:00]

But it's harder to segue[00:06:08]

Is he skiing or is he in a gay porn [00:06:10]

Is he skiing what or is he in a gay porn [00:06:13]

Is he skiing huh or is he in a gay porn [00:06:16]

Here's a hint he's in a gay porn[00:06:19]

Ok Bo this miming sh*t is getting pretty annoying[00:06:22]

So give them the real thing[00:06:26]

My voice is so f**king natural[00:06:28]

It's naturally good[00:06:34]

Naturally good[00:06:35]

Naturally good[00:06:38]

This is the end of the song and the beginning of the show[00:06:41]

Welcome to the show[00:06:45]

That lizard part was pretty f**king stupid[00:07:01]

We're recording part of the CD tonight and yeah [00:07:06]

Good to start off with eight minutes of mime jokes for the CD [00:07:09]

I want to start off with a joke for the fellas [00:07:15]

I don't feel like I connect with my men[00:07:16]

In the audience as well as[00:07:18]

I do with my prepubescent girls [00:07:19]

So where my fellas at Fellas [00:07:21]

Yo fellas don't you hate it when you're sucking a guy's dick[00:07:24]

And he ends up being a faggot Am I right [00:07:28]

These f**king faggots with their tasty dicks [00:07:31]

Alright if you'd like to leave during[00:07:33]

The show the exit signs are marked clearly in red [00:07:40]

Sort of a orangish/reddish/fiery red[00:07:43]

So we'll be f**ked if we need them [00:07:45]

But we can see them now [00:07:46]

This show is called 'what '[00:07:55]

And I hope there are some surprises geez [00:07:56]

I knocked the water over by accident [00:07:59]

He meant to knock the water over yeah yeah yeah[00:08:01]

But you all thought it was an accident[00:08:03]

But he meant to knock the water over yeah yeah yeah[00:08:06]

Art is lie nothing is real[00:08:09]

So it's called 'what ' and it's about hey cool it[00:08:11]

He meant to knock the water over yeah yeah yeah[00:08:14]

But you all thought it was an[00:08:16]

Just take it off repeat and it won't repeat [00:08:18]

This is the good thing [00:08:21]

We can edit all this in the actual CD recording [00:08:22]

He meant to play the track again yeah yeah yeah[00:08:24]

But you all thought it was an accident[00:08:27]

But he meant to play the water track again-gain-gain[00:08:29]

Art's still a lie nothing's still real[00:08:32]

What's the deal with segues [00:08:34]

Food jokes [00:08:36]

How you guys doing up in the nosebleeds up top [00:08:40]

Yes the nosebleeds where the coc*ine is done [00:08:44]

I had a hotdog for breakfast [00:08:47]

In Madison actually this morning [00:08:50]

And yeah afterwards I felt like this whoa whoa[00:08:53]

Because I couldn't control my stools Alright Jesus [00:08:59]

For the people listening I moved the stool around a lot [00:09:06]

This is gonna get difficult [00:09:12]

But I'm glad you like poop-based puns [00:09:15]

That'll be a majority of the show so [00:09:16]

Never waste a moment[00:09:21]

Every moment can become a comedy moment see [00:09:21]

Thank you so much I am[00:09:25]