《Word Crimes》歌词

歌曲： Word Crimes

所属专辑：Mandatory Fun

歌手： Weird Al Yankovic

时长： 03:43

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Word Crimes - Weird Al Yankovic (“怪人奥尔”扬科维奇)[00:00:00]

Everybody shut up WOO [00:00:01]

Everyone listen up [00:00:09]

Hey hey hey uh[00:00:11]

Hey hey hey[00:00:13]

If you can't write in the proper way[00:00:18]

If you don't know how to conjugate[00:00:22]

Maybe you flunked that class[00:00:26]

And maybe now you find[00:00:28]

That people mock you online[00:00:29]

Okay now here's the deal[00:00:33]

I'll try to educate ya[00:00:35]

Gonna familiarize[00:00:37]

You with the nomenclature[00:00:39]

You'll learn the definitions[00:00:41]

Of nouns and prepositions[00:00:43]

Literacy's your mission[00:00:45]

And that's why I think it's a[00:00:47]

Good time[00:00:49]

To learn some grammar[00:00:51]

Now did I stammer[00:00:53]

Work on that grammar[00:00:55]

You should know when[00:00:56]

It's "less" or it's "fewer"[00:00:59]

Like people who were[00:01:01]

Never raised in a sewer[00:01:03]

I hate these word crimes[00:01:04]

Like I could care less[00:01:07]

That means you do care[00:01:09]

At least a little[00:01:11]

Don't be a moron[00:01:12]

You'd better slow down[00:01:15]

And use the right pronoun[00:01:17]

Show the world you're no clown[00:01:19]

Everybody wise up [00:01:20]

Say you got an "I" "T"[00:01:20]

Followed by apostrophe "s"[00:01:22]

Now what does that mean [00:01:25]

You would not use[00:01:26]

"it's" in this case[00:01:27]

As a possessive[00:01:29]

It's a contraction[00:01:30]

What's a contraction [00:01:32]

Well it's the shortening of a word [00:01:34]

Or a group of words[00:01:35]

By the omission of a sound or letter[00:01:35]

Okay now here's some notes[00:01:37]

Syntax you're always mangling[00:01:38]

No "x" in "espresso"[00:01:40]

Your participle's danglin'[00:01:42]

But I don't want your drama[00:01:44]

If you really wanna[00:01:46]

Leave out that Oxford comma[00:01:48]

Just keep in mind[00:01:50]

That "be" "see" "are" "you"[00:01:51]

Are words not letters[00:01:54]

Get it together[00:01:56]

Use your spellchecker[00:01:58]

You should never[00:01:59]

Write words using numbers[00:02:02]

Unless you're seven[00:02:04]

Or your name is Prince[00:02:06]

I hate these word crimes[00:02:07]

You really need a[00:02:10]

Full time proofreader[00:02:12]

You dumb mouth-breather[00:02:13]

Well you should hire[00:02:15]

Some cunning linguist[00:02:18]

To help you distinguish[00:02:19]

What is proper English[00:02:22]

One thing I ask of you[00:02:24]

Time to learn your homophones[00:02:25]

Is past due[00:02:26]

Learn to diagram a sentence too[00:02:27]

Always say "to whom"[00:02:29]

Don't ever say "to who"[00:02:30]

And listen up when I tell you this[00:02:31]

I hope you never use quotation[00:02:33]

Marks for emphasis[00:02:34]

You finished second grade[00:02:35]

I hope you can tell[00:02:36]

If you're doing good or doing well[00:02:37]

About better figure out the difference[00:02:39]

Irony is not coincidence[00:02:41]

And I thought that you'd gotten it[00:02:42]

Through your skull[00:02:44]

What's figurative and what's literal[00:02:44]

Oh but just now you said[00:02:47]

You literally couldn't get out of bed[00:02:49]

That really makes me want to literally[00:02:51]

Smack a crowbar upside[00:02:52]

Your stupid head[00:02:53]

I read your e-mail[00:02:54]

It's quite apparent[00:02:57]

Your grammar's errant[00:02:59]

You're incoherent[00:03:01]

Saw your blog post[00:03:02]

It's really fantastic[00:03:05]

That was sarcastic[00:03:07]

(Oh psych )[00:03:08]

'Cause you write like a spastic[00:03:09]

I hate these Word Crimes[00:03:10]

Your prose is dopey[00:03:13]

Think you should only[00:03:15]

Write in emoji[00:03:17]

Oh you're a lost cause[00:03:18]

Go back to pre-school[00:03:21]

Get out of the gene pool[00:03:22]

Try your best to not drool[00:03:24]

Never mind I give up[00:03:27]

Really now I give up[00:03:32]

Hey hey hey[00:03:34]

Hey hey hey[00:03:36]

Go Away[00:03:38]